I (18F) have a best friend (20F) who I've known for almost 5 years. We met in school and were pretty much inseparable until we graduated. Then we started different colleges and unfortunately can't see each other everyday as we were used to.

Obviously, we've shared a lot of stuff with each other over the years, like stories about guys who confessed their feelings for me. Just to be clear, I'm not looking for a relationship and I don't really do anything to attract guys either. I'm just not emotionally ready for anything beyond friendship rn.

And I wasn't telling her these stories to brag or anything. Quite the opposite actually. I always found these situations pretty upsetting because I'd have to reject the guy, and more often than not, that meant losing someone I genuinely considered a friend.

Anyway, we had this conversation yesterday and tbh I have no idea what to think.

The thing is, she's not exactly wrong. She's definitely more outgoing than me and I'd say she's more conventionally attractive too. Not that I really care about that stuff. I couldn't care less what my friends look like.

But I'm still pretty pissed off, mainly because she's NEVER said anything like this to me before. And also, even if you genuinely think you're prettier than your best friend, who tf actually says that to their face??

Idk, maybe I'm taking it too personally, but the whole conversation left a really bad taste in my mouth.

I will definitely speak to her online. Seen to many friendships ruined by clumsy online chats.

AIO?

I’m 33F, married to Ryan (35M) for nine years. We have two kids, Emma (8) and Noah (6), who is nonverbal autistic and needs a lot of help in day to day activities.

Last Sunday, we were at a family birthday party when Ryan said he needed to run an errand. He took Noah with him, saying he wanted some one-on-one time with him. I didn’t think much of it because he’s been a good father.

About an hour later, I called to ask when they’d be back. He didn’t reply . I double checked his location and found out he was at a casino about 25 minutes away.

Alarmed , I drove there myself. I found our car in the parking garage with Noah alone in the back seat. The engine was running, but the doors were quite locked firmly. It was 91°F outside, and Noah was sweating profusely, crying, and had thrown up on himself.

I quickly got him out and called 911. Ryan later came outside and claimed he’d only gone in to place one quick bet. He persisted he’d planned to be gone for five minutes and had left the air conditioning running.

However, security footage showed he’d been inside for 47 minutes.

Ryan says he had totally forgotten the time he came in and never meant to leave Noah alone that long. He keeps insisting that he’s not a bad father and that I’m treating him like he internationally tried to hurt our son.

I know he loves our children, and before this even occurred , I had enough confidence in him to care for them. That’s what makes this so damn hard. But I can’t stop imagining what could have possibly downed on our son if I hadn’t checked his location.

Ryan was arrested and later released on bail. His parents believe he made a gravely mistake but say I’m overreacting by thinking about a possible divorce and custody restrictions. They think I’m letting my anger tear our family apart.

I packed a few belongings for myself and the kids and went to stay with a relative. I’ve also spoken to a lawyer about separation and custody arrangements.

Ryan wants me to come home. He says he’s eager to attend parenting classes, but he thinks involving the courts is unnecessary and that I should give him another chance.

I don’t feel easy leaving the children alone with him right now, specifically Noah. I need to know he understands how serious this was before I can even consider trusting him again.

AIO for leaving with the kids and refusing to return to normal family life until I feel confident they’re safe with him?

My husband, 38M, and I 35F, just had our second child. I had an emergency c-section 3 weeks before he was due, and he had a 2 week NICU stay. When he was born, he had hydrops amongst several other problems due to decreased oxygen in the womb. Because he was recovering for a while from all this, he is a bit behind hitting his 'milestones.' During my maternity leave he mostly slept and we didn't have the opportunity to interact with each other beyond snuggling and feeding before I had to return to work.

My mother in law is staying with us for a few months to take care of baby while I work. Hes started to look around and babble and coo now. In the last week or so, he's started to prefer her to everyone else. I understand this, as I'm away from home 10 or more hours a day, and she's his caregiver while I'm away. It doesn't make it any less painful. Lately, he's been crying uncontrollably as soon as I hold him. He's absolutely inconsolable. If I hand him over to my MIL, he's immediately calm. This has been heartbreaking for me. I will try for an hour or more to calm him down before letting MIL take him.

Last night, I got home late from work, same sort of thing. I take the baby, he cries and cries, I give him back. I was so overwhelmed that I said to my husband, 'he hates me,' with tears in my eyes. I know this is dramatic. He doesn't hate me. But gosh does it feel like that lately. My husband looked at me with zero empathy, said nothing. I took the baby outside to try to calm him with a new environment. When I came back in a few minutes later, my husband had gone to bed. He didn't say goodnight, didn't try to offer any comfort. Fine. I stayed up a while, baby was eventually calm, and we went to bed.

My husband gets up for work early, so I didn't see him this morning. I texted him and told him it felt really bad that he went to bed without saying anything and that he didn't try to comfort me. He replied, "To be honest, I thought it was silly and childish that you said [baby] hates you and that you cried about it like that. I don't know what you want me to do to comfort you."

This makes me feel crazy. I feel alone and misunderstood and like I don't know what I'm even doing with this relationship. Why doesn't he understand me? Will it always feel like this?? I'm honestly questioning everything and it feels so awful to do that. Am I just reading into it too much? AIO?

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I honestly didn't expect so many responses, but reading them helped me realize that asking someone who's practically living in our apartment to contribute isn't unreasonable.

Unfortunately, things got a little more complicated.

For context, my roommate's boyfriend, Marcus, has been staying at our apartment around six nights a week. He showers here, works from our living room, keeps his belongings in our bathroom, and has his own key.

When I suggested he contribute $60 toward utilities, my roommate called me stingy.

Well, two days after my post, I decided to sit down with my roommate again.

I told her I wasn't trying to make Marcus feel unwelcome. I actually like him, and we've never had any personal problems.

I just didn't think it was fair that our original agreement was between two people, but our apartment was now being used by three.

She immediately got defensive.

She told me I was exaggerating how often Marcus stayed over and that he wasn't technically living with us because he still had his own apartment.

So I asked her a simple question.

"If he's just visiting, why does he have his own key?"

She didn't really have an answer.

Instead, she said I was making her choose between her boyfriend and her roommate.

That wasn't what I wanted at all.

I explained that I wasn't asking Marcus to pay rent or move out. I was asking for $60 a month toward bills that had noticeably increased since he started staying here.

She told me she'd talk to him.

The next evening, Marcus knocked on my bedroom door and asked if we could talk.

I was expecting another argument, but surprisingly, he was pretty calm.

He told me my roommate had explained the situation and that he felt uncomfortable knowing I thought he was taking advantage of me.

I told him I didn't think he was intentionally doing anything wrong. I just wanted us to have a fair arrangement.

Then he said something that genuinely surprised me.

He told me he had no idea our electricity bill had increased that much, and that my roommate had told him I was upset because I didn't want him around anymore.

I explained that wasn't true.

I even showed him the bills from before and after he started staying regularly.

He looked embarrassed and apologized.

He offered to pay $80 a month toward utilities instead of $60 because he knew he used the electricity while working from home.

For a moment, I thought everything was finally resolved.

But when my roommate found out we'd spoken directly, she was furious.

She accused me of going behind her back and making Marcus feel guilty.

I reminded her that Marcus had approached me, not the other way around.

She then said that if I was going to be so particular about money, we should start splitting absolutely everything based on individual usage.

I told her that was fine with me.

Apparently, she wasn't expecting that answer.

The following day, she sent me a long message saying our friendship had changed and that she no longer felt comfortable living with someone who kept track of what everyone owed.

That honestly hurt.

We've been friends for years, and I never imagined a conversation about $60 would turn into something this personal.

I told her I wasn't keeping score. I was simply asking us to revisit an agreement that no longer reflected our living situation.

Since then, Marcus has transferred me $80 for this month's utilities, and he also offered to contribute toward shared household supplies.

My roommate hasn't spoken to me much.

Yesterday, she mentioned that she and Marcus might look for their own place when our lease ends.

I told her I'd understand if that's what they wanted.

But I also made it clear that until then, I expected us to communicate respectfully and stick to whatever financial arrangement we agreed on.

The strangest part is that Marcus and I seem to have resolved the issue without any real conflict, while my roommate is acting like I've betrayed her.

I'm relieved that the bills are being handled more fairly, but I'm genuinely sad about what this has done to our friendship.

I never wanted to make anyone feel unwelcome in their own home.

I just wanted to stop feeling like a guest in mine.

TL;DR: I spoke to my roommate again about her boyfriend staying six nights a week. She got defensive, but Marcus approached me himself, apologized, and offered to contribute $80 a month toward utilities. Now my roommate is angry that we discussed it without her and is considering moving out when our lease ends. The money issue is mostly resolved, but our friendship might not be.

My soon to be ex-husband and I got into an argument over something that might seem small, but it was about more than just what happened that day. For about two weeks, he had been telling me that he was going to give me whatever money he had left over from his paycheck to help me buy our daughter a bunk bed. I literally never asked him to do this. He offered on his own. He had worked around 53+ hours that week while I kept our kids. I also work full time. When payday came and he told me he got less money than he expected and probably wouldn’t be able to give me anything, I was upset because he had been saying this for weeks voluntarily. He often say things and not follow through on his words.

When I tried explaining why I was upset, telling him idk, it’s just the principle for me and so on. His response was basically, “ok, I don’t know what to tell you.” He kept repeating “ok, alright. I thought I’ll just let you know” and being dismissive instead of actually having a conversation with me.

He had also just paid a $553 phone bill after his phone had been disconnected for a week, which added to the frustration because I don’t understand how his phone bill is that high.

Things escalated and he started yelling, cursing and hanging up on me, which is something that has happened during our arguments before. This is where the real issue comes in. It’s not just about the money or the bunk bed. It’s about how he treats me whenever we have a disagreement and how difficult it becomes to have a productive conversation when I’m upset about something. I was trying to talk. He just started yelling, hanging up (I’ll call back numerous times trying to talk) he yelling and telling me go to talk to my mom or something and hang up in my face again. He doesn’t know why I feel like I need to get everything off my chest to him but he doesn’t want to hear it.

Any time he face hardships, this is the type of attitude I’m met with. When he was having car troubles, high phone bill, not being able to find a sitter, he be nasty, blame me for it and calling me not supportive if I’m upset by it but when things are good he acts if he wants to be together forever. When things are hard for him? He doesn’t care about me or whether I left or stayed.

This has been an ongoing issue in our marriage. When he gets upset, he can become dismissive, yell, curse, hang up, or shut me out. Historically, I’ve been the one chasing him afterward, blowing up his phone, trying to stop him from leaving, wanting to talk things out, taking him back after he moved out and went to his parents, entertaining his texts after he have left. I’ve repeatedly tried to keep the relationship together, even when I was the one who was hurt. He claims I always threaten to leave but in the spite of all that, I stayed around and tried to make it work.

I’ve expressed to him before that I don’t see things improving long term and this argument happened just a week after that convo. So I told him not to come back here and that I wanted us to start putting things in motion to dissolve our marriage.

His response was, “I don’t care. At least I won’t have the threats of us being done over my head all the time.”

Later, he texted me that he was coming to get some clothes and his iPad and that he didn’t want any commotion. I stayed in our daughter’s room because I didn’t want to see or speak to him. Afterward, he texted me, “Thanks for letting me get my stuff with no issues. I won’t bother you from here on out.”

I didn’t respond.

Now I’m left thinking AIO.

Context - my boyfriend (26M) and I (23F) were in a conversation with our friend group about the whole immigration situation in the UK. We both moved here for uni and now we work here, him as an artist and I'm starting my training contract at a law firm. He's white, i'm brown but he's never been racist or insensitive to my face or made comments like this which is why i'm really confused if I'm just acting butthurt and oversensitive since I've had quite a few racist encounters this last year.

Our friend group is very diverse but I've noticed that regardless of nationality, my white friends who immigrated here (including bf) prefer to refer to themselves as expats and call the rest of us from Asia and the Caribbean, immigrants even though a lot of them were born here. We just get this vibe that they're clearly drawing the distinction and we know the connotations attached to each word. My bf and I continued the conversation over text later that day and we got to how this year, I've just had people say and do some extremely rude things when they find out I'm South Asian and he acknowledged that he's never faced that, but again with the expat vs immigrant labelling.

That's basically it, but what set off alarms in my head was him saying he didn't know I was South Asian and that's why i was approached? Granted, I don't look like a stereotypical South Asian that people in the West think of and I have had people say to my face that I'm "too light-skinned" or tall or "too pleasant-looking" to be brown. He knows this has been a point of major irritation for me. Before I met him last year, men used to come up to me, chat me up, and when I'd tell them where I'm from, they immediately lose interest and walk away, always with this sour look on their face. One even told me that anything is fine, but being South Asian is just "unforgivable" to him. So the fact that my bf was also kind of under that impression and is pointing it out is iffy to me.

AIO?

I’m the mom of an 8 yo girl and a 6 yo old boy. We met an 11 yo boy and his dad (I’ll call him Joe) at a martial arts class. We’ve hung out a few times and I’m starting to get the ick with the way this guy behaves around my daughter. Besides just in general paying more attention to my daughter than my son or his son, the following interactions are making my antenna go up:

We went to McDonald’s once and my daughter wanted a flurry. I said no and my daughter started crying. I was trying to stand my ground and be firm, trying to teach her crying doesn’t get you what you want, but Joe went and bought it for her, undermining my parenting.

I was taking a picture of my daughter (and of her only) and he asked me to send it to him.

We got together for his son’s birthday and he spent most of the time trying to win arcade tickets so she could win a big stuffy. When all was said and done, she received 5000 tickets and got a huge stuffed animal while my son and his son only got 700 tickets each. When we went out for dinner, Joe ordered fajitas for two for them to share. Then when my daughter’s meal came, he opened her apple sauce and attempted to spoon feed her like an infant.

He’s already talking about what he’s going to buy her for Christmas and has asked if he can attend her gymnastics meets.

All of this is making me extremely uncomfortable but I don’t know if I’m just reading too much into things…AIO?

EDIT: To clarify, Joe and I aren’t dating, these are play dates with our kids who are friends.

My friend is moving to Orlando. She got a new job there and she said it’s been her dream for a while to live in a place with lots to do. She’s already borrowed lots of money from me for furniture. I was like “ when you move to Florida you cannot borrow money from me all the time because I have my own bills and things to pay for . I told her she’s gonna have to focus more on her needs rather than wants .

She was like “ well I don’t wanna go to Florida and be bored. I’m in my 20s. I wanna have fun not be stuck in the house all the time .”

And I was like “ I don’t think there’s any humanly way possibly you can be bored in Orlando. But what I’m saying is you need to pace yourself on activities . You’re going to be living there so you don’t have to do everything at once . You don’t have to break the bank out there trying to have fun. You can go to the theme park once but then after that try to free activities . You can window shop at the mall in Orlando . You don’t have to spend money buying a bunch of stuff . Sometimes it’s fun just to walk around windows shopping . Because I already know she’s going to be calling me asking me to Apple Pay her money once she runs out of money from trying to have fun .

She told me it’s impossible to find free activities and that everything cost money

this is long and im sorry😭.

I, 19F am the only employee under my boss, 44F. She is a dog groomer, running the business out of the basement of her home. I am her grooming assistant. Since I started working for her in Feb 2025, it has consistently been just her and I.

Business is booming right now. We are taking on more clients than ever before. We have multiple new clients calling every week asking if we can fit their dog in. It’s great for the business, but it’s very exhausting on my body as her assistant. My job as a grooming assistant accounts for 60% of the groom— I bathe the dogs, dry them with a high velocity k-9 dryer, brush them out and de-matt if possible. The list goes on but the rest is irrelevant.

With the business picking up, my boss has become obsessed with her reputation as a groomer. It’s getting to a point where I believe my safety and my boundaries are becoming less important to her than her reputation as a grooming business. She continues to take on dogs that are aggressive, even when they’re on trazodone/benadryl.

There was an incident a few months ago where I got bit by an aggressive dog while brushing him; so badly I temporarily lost feeling in my fingers. I told her I wasn’t comfortable continuing the groom. It didn’t matter how careful I was or what safety measures I took, the dog would not stop biting. She did not respond well to this. She asked me how it would make the business look if she told the dog’s owners that we wouldn’t be servicing this dog anymore. I told her thats not our problem, he’s not our dog. It was a matter of the safety of us and the dog. She threw a fit and told me that I can tell them myself that he isn’t welcome back for grooming. She also ranted about “Well if we don’t groom them who will? No other groomer will take him on, and they won’t pay the money to sedate him for grooming.” Again, not our dog, not our problem. When the owners showed up, she didn’t mention the bite, nor did she tell them(or allow me to tell them) the dog was not welcome back. We still groom him to this day.

Fast forward to today: A new client comes in. A welsh terrier. Big teeth. Sharp teeth. The owner tells us beforehand that we may have to muzzle him to groom him. We don’t muzzle on dogs that aren’t muzzle trained, but we accept the challenge anyway to see what we can do.

I got through the bath, the dryer(the ultimate test), and most of the brushing. No issues. He would bear his teeth every now and then, but he wasn’t showing any other signs of aggression, so I was all good. Some dogs just do that. Then I brushed his groin, and he tensed up and went for my hand. I felt him tense up and I was able to react fast enough to not get punctured, but he still bit me. It’s important to not that when dogs bite the tool/equipment, its usually out of fear. When they bite YOU, its usually, dare I say always, aggression.

OBVIOUSLY I tell my boss immediately, and she just blew up. I said “he bit me,” and she got up from her desk and started raising her voice with me, telling me not to ‘throw out words like “bite”’ if he was just snapping at me. I told her he bit my hand, not the brush- she knows what that means. We took the exact same certification courses that told us what that means. She continued to downplay it and blow it out of proportion. I didn’t say anything about not being comfortable with continuing the groom, nor did I show any discomfort in my tone. I don’t know why she went from 0-100 like that or where it came from. I don’t remember everything she said because she was talking(yelling) so fast, but I interrupted her to tell her not to downplay or sugarcoat the fact that he bit me. It happens. There was no reason to get nasty with me. So she slammed her hands down on the grooming table and shouted “well then we’re done for the day!”

I said “fine,” took off my apron, grabbed my purse and left. On the way out I told her to let me know if I’m coming in tomorrow.

I’m just so tired of her acting like its such a huge hit to our reputation if we turn dogs away. That’s what good groomers do! Thats what we are taught to do! It’s so frustrating. I’ve been wanting to quit for months because I’ve had the feeling my safety isn’t a priority, and how she reacted today kind of confirmed it. The only reason I’m still working there is because I’m all she’s got and we are fully booked for the month of december because of the holidays. I didn’t want to leave her by herself to handle that mess. She can’t do it.

Am I overreacting for walking out?

TLDR: A dog bit me during a groom, my boss blew up on me for reporting it to her, and I walked out because of it.

My sister confronted me by telling me that my partner 'doesn't care' about my mum because he forgot to reply to my mum's message. My partner has other ways in which he shows he cares e.g: he visited my mum in hospital and always pays when we go out to eat with my mum (and sister). So I told her just because he isn't good at texting does not mean he does not care. In response she said I'm a pick me for being defensive over a man. Mind you, I had already cleared up this text message situation with my mum.

The reason she even found out is because she went through the messages on my mum's phone and clicked on his chat. I find this so intrusive. Mind you we are grown ass adults (I'm 30 and she's 31). Being involved in a situation like this as an adult feels pathetic.

She also said 'you should be fine with me meeting your man alone'. She did not even ask. Just told me I should be fine with something I did not even have time to think about. Am I overreacting by finding this bizarre and intrusive?

The reel was a man holding a buzz lightyear toy with the context “When you show each other your toys”. He had a surprised expression implying that his girl was holding a sex toy while he was just holding an actual toy. I know it’s nothing serious but I just feel uncomfortable about him sending it to my sister. I confronted him and he said that it’s not that big of a deal and that it’s just a light hearted joke and they always send stuff like that and that I’m overreacting. But, idk I feel uncomfortable knowing he’s sending such reels to my sister, I just wanna know if this is normal and if I’m just overreacting. My sister is an adult btw not a minor.

My mother in law has these pre conceived ideas on what she thinks my birth plan is. I told her we will have visitors at the hospital, but only after the baby comes and has had time with my husband and I for a few hours. She’s really pissed about this because she assumed she would be there all day or night waiting for the baby to come. We also would prefer nobody to hold her as it’s flu and cold season, but to avoid another fight , and because I understand it might be too much to ask, we’re going to let my husbands parents hold her. My only thing is when she told my brother in law with Down syndrome he would get to hold the baby, I told her privately that I’m not comfortable with that. I love my brother in law, but he hates babies, he’s never held one before - let alone one that’s a couple hours old, and he’s not the most hygienic person. AITAH for setting this boundary about my brother in law, it’s not forever , just for the first couple weeks until the baby gets stronger incase he doesn’t support her properly.

Okay okay so i know the title seems stupid but please just read the rest!!

I (17F) have been cleaning the house every single day when my mom and little sibling (5yo) take a nap. My mother doesn’t work but my dad does, so when my sibling naps so does she. I usually come downstairs and clean the living room and kitchen and dining room while they sleep. It’s always a mess. Food left over from the morning or night before on the table and stove, toys EVERYWHERE, dirty floors, craft supplies left out and sometimes mystery stuff i gotta scrub out of the carpet. I do have regular chores like doing the dishes and taking out the trash and stuff so this isn’t like my regular household chores. This is me cleaning up the mess of 2 grown adults and a child who isn’t mine. I work about 30-35 hours a week on top of school and then i come home just to clean up after everyone else. i’m not trying to be selfish at all but it gets to a point because my mom doesn’t work so you’d think she would clean!!

Recently i stopped doing so much because im so tired from studying and working. My mom talked to me a couple weeks ago saying i need to “pick up my weight around the house” since i don’t contribute financially. she said if i don’t i’ll need to start paying rent. I told her im tired of cleaning after 3 fully capable people and having to scrape old food off of plates or scrubbing things out of the carpet isn’t normal household chores. i pointed out that she’s home all day and can help clean while i work. She got upset and yelled at me and said taking care of my sibling IS HER JOB. I said it is a lot of work however i can’t keep taking care of the house and my responsibilities. she called me entitled. Idk if im just overreacting about this and maybe it isnt that much work at all. idk what to even think.

in the beginning of this year i was talking to a guy that me and my best friend had been friends with for months prior that i've been on and off with for a couple of years. he ended up blocking both of us to date some girl that we hate and my best friend went around saying the most horrible things about him for months, saying he was getting stds and calling him disgusting and referring to him as "aids" up until a couple of weeks ago. we ended up kind of making up, but i made it clear i didn't want to be friends with him and i didn't really want her to be either and she agreed. i find out a week later they're talking and are now dating. i ghosted her the second i found out about them and haven't said a word to her since and everyone is trying to make me feel crazy because it was so long ago but it was literally earlier this year. we were all friends with each other while him and i were together so she was just waiting for her turn the entire time and she hid it from me because she knew i wouldn't be okay with it. am i doing too much by cutting her off?? i didn't make a scene i just simply don't want to be her friend anymore but now she's talking SO much shit about me and i feel like i have to beat her up atp

im gonna condense this story as much as possible. my husband (27m) and I (27f) went through an extreme rough patch that started late spring. As in—we both were laid off and ended up unhoused and couch surfing. (no kids together) My mom is financially stable and his mom is not. During this time—while we were unhoused—my mom did everything to help us, including providing financial assistance when she could. I.e. when we couldn’t couch surf a particular night, she would send us money for a room or food or whatever. whereas his mother, asked for money pretty much every time I entered her house and needed to do something. I.e. she charged us to spend the night, asked him for money for me to take a shower there, we needed to store our furniture in her unused garage and she asked for weekly payments, etc.

Now initially, when we hit our extreme rough patch, we were able to stay 2 free nights, but were kicked out because we ate food she made. he ended up telling me it was because he was told he was supposed to buy whatever we ate. (remember this part) then she told him it was because she was scared of her landlord upping her rent. I understood that, but all of the money requests came after that, when she knew we were looking for work and had no savings. In short, my mom added when she could, and his mom subtracted when she could. I know neither parent owed us anything and I was appreciative of my moms support, and didn’t think TOO MUCH of his mom not being able to.

until her character started glowing:

we had to sleep in his car one night because he was doing some work for someone and finished late. it was near his moms house and he asked if we could sleep in the driveway, she said no. We bbq’d over there one day and I bought some sausages and buns, and my husband and I left for a couple hours, and when we came back, they (her and SO) told me they each ate a sausage without asking—which is the standard they set.. they kicked us out of the house for eating his moms food. So I made sure to let her know—even though we were in an extreme rough patch—they didn’t have to ask me to eat. I also found out—months after it happened—that she posted about our situation on social media when it first began, and she asked her friends if they would let a married couple live with them. (I was pissed because anyone of her friends could have easily put 2+2 together, and I never put my personal business on social media) She also traded in his brand new LARGE tv for another tv for her and her SO use. When asked why she did that, it didn’t occur to her to answer WHY she didn’t ask his permission, instead her response was that she didn’t have the code to her own tv.

my husband and I found a place recently, and my mom gave us the full downpayment to move in and asked to start getting paid back in January. She was willing to do it because we both started back working so she knew it would not be a problem. But this is where the problem started and essentially ended.. I didn’t tell him that my mom asked to be paid back at a certain time, he only knew that he had to start paying his half. When I asked him about it, he NEVER had a legit answer (I don’t think he ever planned to pay her back.) It was always about budgeting and I would ask, how are you all of a sudden budgeting when you have to pay my mom back? I let it go because I knew I wasn’t gonna leave her hanging….

but……………………

why did I find out he had been giving his mom money from the new job he had every time he got paid!? when I asked him how he could do that without paying back my mom—who did nothing but help us out—his response was that my mom was more financially stable, which disgusted me. Because before we accepted the down payment, we both knew it was borrowed money we had to pay back. He sees nothing wrong with what he did and I can’t look past it. Because after everything that happened and all the money she asked for, I 100% believe she doesn’t like me. So I looked at this as him siding with the enemy, tbh. It’s like she went out of her way to try to keep us down, whereas my mom went out of her way to try to keep us afloat.

My main issue is the lack of respect for our marriage. about 6 weeks before we separated is when I found the social media post about us being homeless, so I distanced myself from her, haven’t been inside her house since. So he knew how I felt about her and between her trying to charge me to take a shower and not allowing us to sleep….in his car…in her driveway overnight . It’s also important to note that I’d seen him give his mom money before and I raised an issue with it because it was like she was going out of her way to bring us down, how could she ever even feel comfortable asking us for anything?

i havent seen him in person in a couple weeks, since I found out he was giving her money. But he’s unhoused again now and can’t stay with her, he is couch surfing. I told him he could stay in the place in the other room til he got on his feet but he refused and tbh, I dont feel comfortable living in the same house with him anymore. I feel betrayed and that he chose his mom over: me, our marriage, my mom who was openly helping us, our future, our plans, respect for me, respect for my mom, respect for himself .

ive been trying to talk to him about it since I left, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did. He said his mom needed his help. I said WE needed her help when we did. And she went out of her way to NOT help us. So I a) don’t understand her hand out and b) don’t understand the justification from him. He and I had our fair share of problems but we always figured it out and chose each other . This is something idk if I can come back from, mainly because he doesn’t understand the absurdity of it.

I need to know if I’m overreacting or AITA. He keeps telling me I’m wrong. But I want a divorce atp. I don’t want to go to counseling because he’s pretty much stated that he’ll always help her. tell me if I’m wrong

My 3 year old goes to a licensed daycare center. Twice this week I have picked her up and her pants have been put on inside out. These are acreen printed leggings so fairly obvious. Her shoes are often on the wrong feet too. One of the aids seems to get pretty short tempered with the kids. (I havent witnessed any direct abuse just yelling snd telling kids to sit down, which fair but theyre also 3.) Just not sure what I should let go. The rest of the staff seems great. ​

Through text he asked my wife (his sister) to be in the wedding party and asked her to ask me to be in his. I asked who will watch the kids and was told they are not invited. So I asked, who’s going to watch the kids? Everyone we know in the area of the wedding will be at the wedding. We will have to spend 1 day traveling there and 1 day traveling back. I was told I should ask my parents to tag along and watch the kids during the wedding. I said it’s not just the wedding, we have to be at the rehearsal and all that. It’s a big ask to ask my parents to come. They are further away than I am and will not fly.

I want to stay home and watch the kids to let my wife have fun. I was told I’m ridiculous. Am I overreacting by not wanting to be apart of this?

Hi guys.

Just found out that my 19f bf 19m has photos of his ex in his camera roll. We’ve been together for a year now. (Excluding the first time, context later).

Not nudes or anything, but pictures of them cuddling in bed, and like LOTS of pictures of just her. Pics where she’s dressed up or they’re being cute or whatever.

Is this normal? Should I talk to him ab it?

Just hurts a little bit because he always reassured me that he never kept things like that.

Also found out that the same month he approached me he was trying to make it work with her. Might not sound like a big deal but the month that he approached me, it had been about 4 months since we broke up (yes we broke up and got back together) and he always told me he never texted anyone or tried to get with anyone during that period.

I also saw texts of him flirting with other girls after he approached me, but we had not begun officially dating yet and were still getting to re-know eachother.

Is this normal? Should I talk to him ab it?

Just hurts a little bit because he always reassured me that he never kept things like that.

Is this normal? My chest hurts and my heart is pounding, I’ve always been sensitive to this kind of stuff. I wish he would’ve just told me he did in fact talk to other people. I don’t understand the needing to lie about it.

Please let me know if I’m overreacting or if I should bring it up or what.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I am soon to be 18yo girl from Finland, I have never been close with my grandfathers, BUT I was always grateful to have two amazing grabdmothers. All tho, now that I’ve grown up a little and have a better understanding and view of the world. I realise that my grandmother from my dad’s side is extremely toxic. She has always hated my mother and criticised her parenting style (which is amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better mother). My grandma is extremely religious and tries to force christianity on me since I was a kid. I grew up in a safe environment where my parents made sure that I have freedom to believe in anything I wish. I live with chronic migraines and my grandma gives me ridiculous tips, like: ”look at reiki videos”, ”do breathing exercises”, ”I prayed that your migraine ends”. With all due respect, migraines (especially chronic migraines) varies from person to person, and only I know my migraines. I am grateful for my neurologists. She has always said that communication is a big tool and that fights or dissagreements are not normal and are toxic (which doesn’t make sense to me). If I don’t agree with her, or do something differently then she would’ve wanted me to, she guilttrips me. For example, she always tells me she couldn’t sleep at all and lost a good night of sleep because of me (could be from something as small as me disagreeing with her over groceries).
Her husband died earlier this year (I never had a good relationship with him, as he hit my dog and once told me he would beat me.) I feel bad for her and love to help her out and visit, but over this year it has gotten exhausting and I always feel like i’m doing something wrong when I do something she would disapprove of.
I am very open with my sexuality and with myself, she believes in waiting for marriage and is deeply dissapointed in me that I don’t want to do so.

There’s a bit of background, here’s my breaking point event. I made a tiktok with my other grandma, it’s this trend to why you deserve $1000 and lie completely to see how your grandma goes along with it, my grandma (who i did the tiktok with) was all in and laughed and went along with me and I thought it was hilarious. The next day I call my other grandma excited to talk to her, she starts screaming at me ”DELETE THE TIKTOK.” At first I didn’t get what she was talking about and just said ”huh?”. She then proceeds to yell at me how I don’t understand anything about manifestation and the things I said in the video will come true (yeah sure my parents will disown me). When I told her I don’t agree with her, she said “i always thought you were intelligent, but clearly you are not! You are stupid.” That hit hard because of my chronic migraines i’m not studying currently. Personally, I think I have a good emotional intelligence and have good morals and understanding of the world. She’s very against fights and namecalling, but still she said this to me. I am just over feeling dumb and disapproved of just because I am not who she wants me to be. She knows I have very little family that I am in good relations with. She will probably send me a bible verse or something and not even apologise. We’ll see what happens.

Excuse me for my language, I’m not native! If you have any questions, please ask! I would love some input:)

TW: DV abuse. Backstory on the bottom.

Presently:

My dad (60) and his girlfriend are getting married this weekend. My grandma messaged me this morning, asking if I was going. I told her I didn't know anything about it.

It's been almost three hours and I still haven't replied. I don't know what to say. I know what I WANT to say, but I'm taking time to settle down and not lash out. OH, DO I WANT TO REPLY.

Who has ever gone to a wedding the bride and groom didn't invite them to? Or their immediate family's wedding???

Our plans not withstanding (we have had plans for this Saturday since late August), I plan to not attend. My husband and I do not want to go. The idea of taking our kids to a smokers bar without us to attend the wedding of my abusive father is infuriating. I feel so disrespected and so much like am outsider in my own family. I just want to scream at my dad and everyone involved in this disaster.

Backstory: my parents split when I was 3, following 3 years of DV abuse and the loss of a child (SIDS). I was abused by him growing up. My aunt denies the abuse, my grandma downplays it.

We moved closer to family for years ago, hoping to have a better relationship. We bought a house, and my dad lent us $4k for our down payment. We were slowly getting closer, spending 30 minutes together here and there. Then, while I was driving him an hour away to pick up his car, after picking him up two days earlier, he started "reminiscing" one of my earliest abuse memories. He was cackling retelling it. It got kind of tense after I said it wasn't a good memory for me, and we moved on. Then we disagreed on something recent in the news. That led to him saying I had to be stupid since I had to borrow $4k from someone to buy a house. (We had nearly paid it off by this point) I pulled over on the highway. He tried to backtrack, then apologized. We stopped visiting with each other after that. Holidays have since been weird.

He got a girlfriend 1.5-2 years ago. For the first time in almost 20 years he got me a birthday card. We got each other a small gift for Christmas (him a war book, me a pair of his girlfriend's earrings) and he got the kids presents. It was slowly improving. Then, for my daughter's birthday this past winter, she got sick and we had to cancel morning of. In the chaos of it all, I forgot to inform 3 people it was canceled: 2 friends from her class... and my dad. I got to the venue late and profusely apologized because what a horrible thing to do to guests, but I think that was it for him. He and his girlfriend calmly left and haven't talked to me since. About 4 months ago, he moved from our town to a town 1.5 hours away. I found this out about 2 months ago.

Am I Overreacting?!

So this is my first thread in this sub. As a backdrop, my dad's current job since 2011 is being one of the teachers in a small after-school program like every week or so and since 2012, I've tagged along with him as a volunteer teacher assistant for many years now and we've formed a somewhat tightly knit relationship with the boss herself and her daughter. I've also been to parties with the place and the boss/staff on multiple occasions during both the school years and sometimes in the summer (or just before). And as a young volunteer teacher assistant, I have gotten paid multiple times but less and less since the business is struggling a little with the attendance number of kids dropping or dipping a little recently. And our job is to take care of the kids for each grades with their own rooms and to check/correct all their homework and extra work and to assist the kids with them (I usually take care of the English work, while my dad covers the Math work, but we sometimes overlap). And we take care of both the 3rd and 4th Graders in one of them and suffice to say, I can say I'm consistently pretty popular and well-liked with them as the younger nicer and cooler version of my dad. As a caveat however, my after-school is not a completely formal office-like setting, it's more of an ad-hoc setting in the form of a publicly rented space.

And as a reference, my dad is an Blood O-Type person who is known to have a quick trigger-happy temper and an attitude (like a serious one) and constantly clashes with both me and my mom over matters, whether big or small and trivial to serious, and often blows up with me, my mom, and even the kids in the after-school we are tasked with taking care of to the point of making a few of them cry occasionally, whether he or they were in the right or wrong or how proportionate/disproportionate his response was. And my mom often points out how argumentative my dad is and how prone is to suddenly blowing up time and time again.

-------- IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THE ABOVE INTRO --------

A week ago or two on a Thursday, my dad and I were in a room near the window door to the side roof of the building and one kid in the corner was unable to concentrate with his work in peace because of a huge fly constantly flying around him and I wanted to help him by opening the glass window-door and attempted to let the fly out, and despite my initial attempts and efforts to step in and help, the fly wouldnt go away and my dad started yelling at the kid a little and complaining about both me and him being disruptive or distracted. And my dad also lowkey tried to chasiste us for not being quiet and orderly in his eyes. Like I’m just trying to do the child a favor by trying to make the fly go away and get it out of his sight to help him resume his homework in peace and eventually I did get the fly to get to the other side of room somehow and with the window door open, I wasn’t sure if the fly finally got out. But nonetheless I still got into a brief argument with my dad protesting him for his reactions while trying to be as restrained and even a little professional as possible myself over how he handled the situation. And his issue was that also about how I apparently didn’t do it fast enough or in a timely enough matter in his eyes (like for 3 minutes). Like wtf mate, it’s not my fault that the fly refused to leave the corner where the kid was seated and doing his work in. What the bloody hell was I supposed to do? Just let the kid continue being distracted and bothered by the fly and just ignore him and let him feel uncomfortable without doing a damn thing about it and affect his peace? 

So channeling my inner radical and using my platform as teacher assistant in the room, I further protested and called out my dad for how he reacted to both of us and complained about the situation and I questioned my dad if he only seemed to just care more about his view of “quiet and order” over a child’s safety and emotional welfare and having some basic empathy for the kids. But my dad just doubled down on his stance and further accused me of simply arguing with him and kinda tried to make it look like I was only trying to start shit with him for the sake of it in front of all the kids I believe. That's about the best that I could accurately describe it based on my pure memory and without sounding too biased against him.

So I asked the rest of the kids in the class to take a vote and raise their hand if they thought my dad was being the unreasonable one and even apart from the same kid I tried to look out for and intervene to help, I had about six kids raise their hands in agreement while the rest of the class didn't out of not paying attention to what just happened or they were just your fence-sitters. I don't know, we didn't do a formal vote. But anyways one of the kids in front, who may or may not have been one of the six to raise their hands, remarked to my dad that he does seem to just constantly complain about these matters or whatever. And that was it and going home, my dad continued to double down by telling me not to argue with him. Regardless, I felt like I was mentally channeling what MLK said about how unjust laws are no laws at all and this quote criticizing: "...who is more devoted to 'order' than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice...". Now I'm not trying to turn this thread into a discussion over social justice, civil rights, and general politics, but that is precisely how I felt about the whole situation with my dad and the kid in the class.

So anyways, am I overreacting and in the wrong for pushing back against my dad and calling him out for his attitude or even continuing in my attempts to help solve the kid's problem in the first place and even trying to have the class vote on who was being reasonable? Or is my dad the one who's actually being unreasonable and overreacting here?

If so for both questions, what should I have done or said instead if you were in my position?

Bonus Question: I tried to tell a friend (sorta, she's more of a community rehab trainer) about this whole situation and she didn't even bother to give a formal response outside of "you shouldn't be arguing with your dad" and refuse to give me an answer about who was actually in the right or wrong or even tell me if she was taking a "neutral" stance. The least she could have told me was "I'm not taking sides in this". Was she in the right to do this?

So for context, i’m a “no sabo” kid and my parents were born in the US, But my grandparents were born in DR and immigrated to the US and everyone in my family knows spanish except me and my siblings. Because of this I’ve felt really disconnected from my family and heritage and felt sort of imposter syndrome around my own family. Also my dad is fully dominican but his skin is lighter and I inherited that so I am very light skin/white. However, i don’t “look white” fully (big nose, dark curly hair, thick brows)

I’ve been trying to learn spanish and be more connected to the culture, but honestly i still feel ashamed to identify as dominican because i don’t “look it” (many dominicans are black and im not). I used to live in a white dominated area and I did experience a bit of racism/backhanded comments but i kind of invalidated it because it was elementary school so i guess nobody was old enough to understand. But im saying that to clarify that i dont fit in with white people either.

My boyfriend is from mexico and has tanner skin, but he also was born in the US. However, his native language is spanish and he speaks fluent english as well. By the way he knows my background and that i’ve been learning spanish.

Anyway a topic came up about ICE and as i was speaking he cut me off and said “you’re white.” I brushed it off because in skin tone I am white, but it bothered me because i’m kind of not white? Idk. But then another time shortly after i was playfully telling him about how my spanish teacher partnered me and the only other hispanic kid together and he said “what, you both white?” and i was like uhh no

but honestly the way he was saying this stuff felt like he was belittling me in some way. Idk i feel like im overreacting but it’s honestly a bit triggering knowing that he keeps saying im white as if to completely erase my identity. It’s a bit triggering because the only reason im so uncultured is because my mom wasn’t “tapped in” with the culture and barely knows spanish and my dad who was tapped in was emotionally and physically absent so he never tried to teach us spanish. It kind of felt like he was erasing my efforts at trying to be more dominican and idk if i should even care but idk.

AIO?

My bfs sister has this dog that she doesn’t take very good care of. It’s a high energy dog she works all day and the dog stays crated the crate has nothing in it no padding blanket pillows or a bed. His sister is also going out almost every night or won’t come home and relies solely on him and his mom to check in on the dog in these situations.

Tonight she went to a party after work an hour away and called my boyfriend to basically say I am going to this party regardless of if you can check in on my dog or not so it put a huge burden on him to know this dog would be sitting alone all night. He went over after working a 12 hour shift to feed the dog and hang out with her for a bit. When he went to put it back in the crate she started crying so hard that he called me and said he just can’t let this dog keep living like this and can he just take her home.

I feel a lot of sympathy for this dog I have told him and his mom multiple times they need to put their foot down with his sister and tell her she needs to find a better home for this dog or start being a better pet owner. She puts all this burden on them to care for the dog and now I am having this dog sprung on me.

My reasoning for not wanting the dog is bc we are in a small apartment and we both work long days so we wouldn’t be able to give this dog the attention she is clearly craving. The dog also is really prone to misbehaving she lunges at other dogs and babies in public has constant accidents in the house and gets into the trash a lot. I completely understand why the dog acts out but I don’t have the time or resources to pour into this dog right now.

My bf just wants me to look at the way she is living now and consider the alternative if she continues spending 20 hours a day in a crate with no attention or human connection for days besides being fed and locked up. I really just think this dog needs to be given to someone better equipped to take care of it and despite my bfs attachment to the dog that’s just not gonna be us and he needs to tell his sister how poorly she treats this dog is effecting their entire family. AIO for my comments towards his sister & not wanting to keep this dog?

I, 29 F am happily married. My sister, 26F as the title reads, insists I am not. She and I have a horrible relationship and I have contemplated cutting her off many times in the past. She is jealous, resentful, insecure, and honestly has some sort of HPD or narcissistic tendencies if I had to guess from the way she lives and acts.

This “loyalty test” incident happened years ago. And I shut it down when it was brought up, but what triggered the cut off was her bringing it up again, only this time to our younger brother.

Years ago, my sister was doing my hair and basically told me she hated my husband. While I was essentially trapped in bleach and foils at this hair appointment, she talked to me for hours about how she couldn’t stand him. She insisted with every fiber in her being he was a cheater and a liar. Mind you, I never once voiced concerns that he was unfaithful and her evidence was unsubstantiated.

The conversation took a strange turn, she was so adamant he was “cheating” on me with no proof, she asked me if she could do a loyalty test on him - HERSELF. she explicitly told me she would create a sexually charged scenario to try to trap him to prove to me he was a cheater. I was so stunned at this moment I couldn’t process what she was saying. I didn’t humor it and I simply shut it down and left my hair appointment feeling disturbed. But tried to move on after that.

Fast forward to years later and my sister and my relationship has gotten even worse. I had put great distance between us and she hasn’t seen my husband in about a year. Anyways my brother goes to visit her the other day as he wanted her to work on repairing her relationship with me so he went to try and play mediator.

He comes back and told me the conversation went poorly. He went to discuss mine and my sisters relationship, and all she could talk about was MY HUSBAND. She told him about how much she hated my husband and she told him about the loyalty test like it was something to be proud of. My brother was stunned and also weirded out. The fact it’s this much of an obsession in her mind years later and enough to share with our brother has deeply disgusted and disturbed me even more. I blocked her on everything and will never speak to her again.

WTF do I take away from this? She hates my husband because she’s secretly in love with him? Or does she want to hurt me by undermining my marriage? Either way you slice it, it’s not good and I believe my sister wishes genuine harm to me in some way.

Genuinely curious if anyone has even been through something remotely similar. AIO by completely cutting her off for this being the final straw?