4 weeks, met her the first, got her number and sc.
Spoke every day
Week 2
Spoke every day went dancing, she brought a friend
Week 3
same same, went out together alone
Week 4
Introduced me to her family, I brought her flowers with a handwritten note, asked to take her the following Friday to a very upscale restaurant, she agreed hugged me crying no hesitation
Week 5
same same, asked to change the time of reservation two days before so she has more time to get ready, I get it set up. A day passes, I received this out of the blue

I’m 33F, married to Ryan (35M) for nine years. We have two kids, Emma (8) and Noah (6), who is nonverbal autistic and needs a lot of help in day to day activities.

Last Sunday, we were at a family birthday party when Ryan said he needed to run an errand. He took Noah with him, saying he wanted some one-on-one time with him. I didn’t think much of it because he’s been a good father.

About an hour later, I called to ask when they’d be back. He didn’t reply . I double checked his location and found out he was at a casino about 25 minutes away.

Alarmed , I drove there myself. I found our car in the parking garage with Noah alone in the back seat. The engine was running, but the doors were quite locked firmly. It was 91°F outside, and Noah was sweating profusely, crying, and had thrown up on himself.

I quickly got him out and called 911. Ryan later came outside and claimed he’d only gone in to place one quick bet. He persisted he’d planned to be gone for five minutes and had left the air conditioning running.

However, security footage showed he’d been inside for 47 minutes.

Ryan says he had totally forgotten the time he came in and never meant to leave Noah alone that long. He keeps insisting that he’s not a bad father and that I’m treating him like he internationally tried to hurt our son.

I know he loves our children, and before this even occurred , I had enough confidence in him to care for them. That’s what makes this so damn hard. But I can’t stop imagining what could have possibly downed on our son if I hadn’t checked his location.

Ryan was arrested and later released on bail. His parents believe he made a gravely mistake but say I’m overreacting by thinking about a possible divorce and custody restrictions. They think I’m letting my anger tear our family apart.

I packed a few belongings for myself and the kids and went to stay with a relative. I’ve also spoken to a lawyer about separation and custody arrangements.

Ryan wants me to come home. He says he’s eager to attend parenting classes, but he thinks involving the courts is unnecessary and that I should give him another chance.

I don’t feel easy leaving the children alone with him right now, specifically Noah. I need to know he understands how serious this was before I can even consider trusting him again.

AIO for leaving with the kids and refusing to return to normal family life until I feel confident they’re safe with him?

My soon to be ex-husband and I got into an argument over something that might seem small, but it was about more than just what happened that day. For about two weeks, he had been telling me that he was going to give me whatever money he had left over from his paycheck to help me buy our daughter a bunk bed. I literally never asked him to do this. He offered on his own. He had worked around 53+ hours that week while I kept our kids. I also work full time. When payday came and he told me he got less money than he expected and probably wouldn’t be able to give me anything, I was upset because he had been saying this for weeks voluntarily. He often say things and not follow through on his words.

When I tried explaining why I was upset, telling him idk, it’s just the principle for me and so on. His response was basically, “ok, I don’t know what to tell you.” He kept repeating “ok, alright. I thought I’ll just let you know” and being dismissive instead of actually having a conversation with me.

He had also just paid a $553 phone bill after his phone had been disconnected for a week, which added to the frustration because I don’t understand how his phone bill is that high.

Things escalated and he started yelling, cursing and hanging up on me, which is something that has happened during our arguments before. This is where the real issue comes in. It’s not just about the money or the bunk bed. It’s about how he treats me whenever we have a disagreement and how difficult it becomes to have a productive conversation when I’m upset about something. I was trying to talk. He just started yelling, hanging up (I’ll call back numerous times trying to talk) he yelling and telling me go to talk to my mom or something and hang up in my face again. He doesn’t know why I feel like I need to get everything off my chest to him but he doesn’t want to hear it.

Any time he face hardships, this is the type of attitude I’m met with. When he was having car troubles, high phone bill, not being able to find a sitter, he be nasty, blame me for it and calling me not supportive if I’m upset by it but when things are good he acts if he wants to be together forever. When things are hard for him? He doesn’t care about me or whether I left or stayed.

This has been an ongoing issue in our marriage. When he gets upset, he can become dismissive, yell, curse, hang up, or shut me out. Historically, I’ve been the one chasing him afterward, blowing up his phone, trying to stop him from leaving, wanting to talk things out, taking him back after he moved out and went to his parents, entertaining his texts after he have left. I’ve repeatedly tried to keep the relationship together, even when I was the one who was hurt. He claims I always threaten to leave but in the spite of all that, I stayed around and tried to make it work.

I’ve expressed to him before that I don’t see things improving long term and this argument happened just a week after that convo. So I told him not to come back here and that I wanted us to start putting things in motion to dissolve our marriage.

His response was, “I don’t care. At least I won’t have the threats of us being done over my head all the time.”

Later, he texted me that he was coming to get some clothes and his iPad and that he didn’t want any commotion. I stayed in our daughter’s room because I didn’t want to see or speak to him. Afterward, he texted me, “Thanks for letting me get my stuff with no issues. I won’t bother you from here on out.”

I didn’t respond.

Now I’m left thinking AIO.

My husband, 38M, and I 35F, just had our second child. I had an emergency c-section 3 weeks before he was due, and he had a 2 week NICU stay. When he was born, he had hydrops amongst several other problems due to decreased oxygen in the womb. Because he was recovering for a while from all this, he is a bit behind hitting his 'milestones.' During my maternity leave he mostly slept and we didn't have the opportunity to interact with each other beyond snuggling and feeding before I had to return to work.

My mother in law is staying with us for a few months to take care of baby while I work. Hes started to look around and babble and coo now. In the last week or so, he's started to prefer her to everyone else. I understand this, as I'm away from home 10 or more hours a day, and she's his caregiver while I'm away. It doesn't make it any less painful. Lately, he's been crying uncontrollably as soon as I hold him. He's absolutely inconsolable. If I hand him over to my MIL, he's immediately calm. This has been heartbreaking for me. I will try for an hour or more to calm him down before letting MIL take him.

Last night, I got home late from work, same sort of thing. I take the baby, he cries and cries, I give him back. I was so overwhelmed that I said to my husband, 'he hates me,' with tears in my eyes. I know this is dramatic. He doesn't hate me. But gosh does it feel like that lately. My husband looked at me with zero empathy, said nothing. I took the baby outside to try to calm him with a new environment. When I came back in a few minutes later, my husband had gone to bed. He didn't say goodnight, didn't try to offer any comfort. Fine. I stayed up a while, baby was eventually calm, and we went to bed.

My husband gets up for work early, so I didn't see him this morning. I texted him and told him it felt really bad that he went to bed without saying anything and that he didn't try to comfort me. He replied, "To be honest, I thought it was silly and childish that you said [baby] hates you and that you cried about it like that. I don't know what you want me to do to comfort you."

This makes me feel crazy. I feel alone and misunderstood and like I don't know what I'm even doing with this relationship. Why doesn't he understand me? Will it always feel like this?? I'm honestly questioning everything and it feels so awful to do that. Am I just reading into it too much? AIO?

im gonna condense this story as much as possible. my husband (27m) and I (27f) went through an extreme rough patch that started late spring. As in—we both were laid off and ended up unhoused and couch surfing. (no kids together) My mom is financially stable and his mom is not. During this time—while we were unhoused—my mom did everything to help us, including providing financial assistance when she could. I.e. when we couldn’t couch surf a particular night, she would send us money for a room or food or whatever. whereas his mother, asked for money pretty much every time I entered her house and needed to do something. I.e. she charged us to spend the night, asked him for money for me to take a shower there, we needed to store our furniture in her unused garage and she asked for weekly payments, etc.

Now initially, when we hit our extreme rough patch, we were able to stay 2 free nights, but were kicked out because we ate food she made. he ended up telling me it was because he was told he was supposed to buy whatever we ate. (remember this part) then she told him it was because she was scared of her landlord upping her rent. I understood that, but all of the money requests came after that, when she knew we were looking for work and had no savings. In short, my mom added when she could, and his mom subtracted when she could. I know neither parent owed us anything and I was appreciative of my moms support, and didn’t think TOO MUCH of his mom not being able to.

until her character started glowing:

we had to sleep in his car one night because he was doing some work for someone and finished late. it was near his moms house and he asked if we could sleep in the driveway, she said no. We bbq’d over there one day and I bought some sausages and buns, and my husband and I left for a couple hours, and when we came back, they (her and SO) told me they each ate a sausage without asking—which is the standard they set.. they kicked us out of the house for eating his moms food. So I made sure to let her know—even though we were in an extreme rough patch—they didn’t have to ask me to eat. I also found out—months after it happened—that she posted about our situation on social media when it first began, and she asked her friends if they would let a married couple live with them. (I was pissed because anyone of her friends could have easily put 2+2 together, and I never put my personal business on social media) She also traded in his brand new LARGE tv for another tv for her and her SO use. When asked why she did that, it didn’t occur to her to answer WHY she didn’t ask his permission, instead her response was that she didn’t have the code to her own tv.

my husband and I found a place recently, and my mom gave us the full downpayment to move in and asked to start getting paid back in January. She was willing to do it because we both started back working so she knew it would not be a problem. But this is where the problem started and essentially ended.. I didn’t tell him that my mom asked to be paid back at a certain time, he only knew that he had to start paying his half. When I asked him about it, he NEVER had a legit answer (I don’t think he ever planned to pay her back.) It was always about budgeting and I would ask, how are you all of a sudden budgeting when you have to pay my mom back? I let it go because I knew I wasn’t gonna leave her hanging….

but……………………

why did I find out he had been giving his mom money from the new job he had every time he got paid!? when I asked him how he could do that without paying back my mom—who did nothing but help us out—his response was that my mom was more financially stable, which disgusted me. Because before we accepted the down payment, we both knew it was borrowed money we had to pay back. He sees nothing wrong with what he did and I can’t look past it. Because after everything that happened and all the money she asked for, I 100% believe she doesn’t like me. So I looked at this as him siding with the enemy, tbh. It’s like she went out of her way to try to keep us down, whereas my mom went out of her way to try to keep us afloat.

My main issue is the lack of respect for our marriage. about 6 weeks before we separated is when I found the social media post about us being homeless, so I distanced myself from her, haven’t been inside her house since. So he knew how I felt about her and between her trying to charge me to take a shower and not allowing us to sleep….in his car…in her driveway overnight . It’s also important to note that I’d seen him give his mom money before and I raised an issue with it because it was like she was going out of her way to bring us down, how could she ever even feel comfortable asking us for anything?

i havent seen him in person in a couple weeks, since I found out he was giving her money. But he’s unhoused again now and can’t stay with her, he is couch surfing. I told him he could stay in the place in the other room til he got on his feet but he refused and tbh, I dont feel comfortable living in the same house with him anymore. I feel betrayed and that he chose his mom over: me, our marriage, my mom who was openly helping us, our future, our plans, respect for me, respect for my mom, respect for himself .

ive been trying to talk to him about it since I left, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did. He said his mom needed his help. I said WE needed her help when we did. And she went out of her way to NOT help us. So I a) don’t understand her hand out and b) don’t understand the justification from him. He and I had our fair share of problems but we always figured it out and chose each other . This is something idk if I can come back from, mainly because he doesn’t understand the absurdity of it.

I need to know if I’m overreacting or AITA. He keeps telling me I’m wrong. But I want a divorce atp. I don’t want to go to counseling because he’s pretty much stated that he’ll always help her. tell me if I’m wrong

This guy and I used to be close friends and coworkers. We stopped talking for a while because I was going through a lot of life changes. I never had a profile pic on Facebook because I don’t like to be too active on social media.
I’m telling you, the minute I posted a profile pic, this man messaged me. I really hated how he responded to me and it seemed like he was being rude. I just got out a long term relationship not too long ago and I’m sick of having boundaries crossed. Still trying to figure it out. So, am I overreacting for being upset?

My mother in law has these pre conceived ideas on what she thinks my birth plan is. I told her we will have visitors at the hospital, but only after the baby comes and has had time with my husband and I for a few hours. She’s really pissed about this because she assumed she would be there all day or night waiting for the baby to come. We also would prefer nobody to hold her as it’s flu and cold season, but to avoid another fight , and because I understand it might be too much to ask, we’re going to let my husbands parents hold her. My only thing is when she told my brother in law with Down syndrome he would get to hold the baby, I told her privately that I’m not comfortable with that. I love my brother in law, but he hates babies, he’s never held one before - let alone one that’s a couple hours old, and he’s not the most hygienic person. AITAH for setting this boundary about my brother in law, it’s not forever , just for the first couple weeks until the baby gets stronger incase he doesn’t support her properly.

My friend is moving to Orlando. She got a new job there and she said it’s been her dream for a while to live in a place with lots to do. She’s already borrowed lots of money from me for furniture. I was like “ when you move to Florida you cannot borrow money from me all the time because I have my own bills and things to pay for . I told her she’s gonna have to focus more on her needs rather than wants .

She was like “ well I don’t wanna go to Florida and be bored. I’m in my 20s. I wanna have fun not be stuck in the house all the time .”

And I was like “ I don’t think there’s any humanly way possibly you can be bored in Orlando. But what I’m saying is you need to pace yourself on activities . You’re going to be living there so you don’t have to do everything at once . You don’t have to break the bank out there trying to have fun. You can go to the theme park once but then after that try to free activities . You can window shop at the mall in Orlando . You don’t have to spend money buying a bunch of stuff . Sometimes it’s fun just to walk around windows shopping . Because I already know she’s going to be calling me asking me to Apple Pay her money once she runs out of money from trying to have fun .

She told me it’s impossible to find free activities and that everything cost money

I (36M) live with my parents and have two kids. When my kids stay with me, my son sleeps in my room and my daughter uses the spare bedroom.

My brother and his family moved to Arizona less than a year ago. When they come to visit, my daughter gets moved out of the spare bedroom so my brother can sleep there. His wife and kids actually stay at their old house next door with his wife's mom and brothers, so he's the only one staying at my parents' house.

They're visiting this weekend, and tonight my daughter is sleeping in my room with me and my son. I also have two dogs, so space is already limited.

Here's where I'm confused. I have to be up at 4 a.m. for work tomorrow, and both of my kids have school. Since my daughter is taking my bed and my son has his own bed, I'm left sleeping on the floor or a cot. My mom offered an air mattress, but there's not enough room in my bedroom, and she's worried the dogs might pop it. She suggested a cot instead, but I'm six feet tall, so I'm not exactly sure how comfortable that's going to be.

What I don't understand is why my brother can't sleep on the living room couch or stay at the house next door with his wife and kids. Either option seems like it would avoid disrupting my kids' sleeping arrangements and leave me able to get a decent night's sleep before work.

I'm not trying to prevent my brother from visiting, and I'm not planning to argue with anyone about it. I just don't understand why the solution is automatically to move my daughter out of her room and have me sleep on the floor or a cot when there seem to be other options.

Am I overreacting by thinking this arrangement doesn't make much sense, or am I being selfish for questioning it?

Edit: For some context, I moved back to California from Colorado after my divorce, so I'm currently living with my parents. I'm working and raising my kids during my parenting time, and this is the living arrangement I'm in right now.

I’m the mom of an 8 yo girl and a 6 yo old boy. We met an 11 yo boy and his dad (I’ll call him Joe) at a martial arts class. We’ve hung out a few times and I’m starting to get the ick with the way this guy behaves around my daughter. Besides just in general paying more attention to my daughter than my son or his son, the following interactions are making my antenna go up:

We went to McDonald’s once and my daughter wanted a flurry. I said no and my daughter started crying. I was trying to stand my ground and be firm, trying to teach her crying doesn’t get you what you want, but Joe went and bought it for her, undermining my parenting.

I was taking a picture of my daughter (and of her only) and he asked me to send it to him.

We got together for his son’s birthday and he spent most of the time trying to win arcade tickets so she could win a big stuffy. When all was said and done, she received 5000 tickets and got a huge stuffed animal while my son and his son only got 700 tickets each. When we went out for dinner, Joe ordered fajitas for two for them to share. Then when my daughter’s meal came, he opened her apple sauce and attempted to spoon feed her like an infant.

He’s already talking about what he’s going to buy her for Christmas and has asked if he can attend her gymnastics meets.

All of this is making me extremely uncomfortable but I don’t know if I’m just reading too much into things…AIO?

EDIT: To clarify, Joe and I aren’t dating, these are play dates with our kids who are friends.

The reel was a man holding a buzz lightyear toy with the context “When you show each other your toys”. He had a surprised expression implying that his girl was holding a sex toy while he was just holding an actual toy. I know it’s nothing serious but I just feel uncomfortable about him sending it to my sister. I confronted him and he said that it’s not that big of a deal and that it’s just a light hearted joke and they always send stuff like that and that I’m overreacting. But, idk I feel uncomfortable knowing he’s sending such reels to my sister, I just wanna know if this is normal and if I’m just overreacting. My sister is an adult btw not a minor.

So I (26F) was having a casual conversation with my mother (60) when she told me something similar to “I wont see your future kids very often” and I was like “why? Wont you want to spend some time with your grandkids?” and she said “no because they will be raised by your husband (30M) and his mother and I probably wont like them very much”.
Well I didnt like that. I didnt start an argument because I dont know if Im overreacting as Im not even pregnant yet, but there are a lot of things I dont like about this:

1. The kids will be raised by my husband and I, not by my husband and his mother.
2. My husband is a very capable and good man and Im sure he will be a great father.
3. Even if the kids arent 100% what my mother likes, they will still be my kids. They dont have to be perfect but I do expect them to feel loved by their family.

I feel like the reason she says this is because she’s always been someone who loves the quiet, she never allowed me to play music if she could hear a tiny bit of it jn the distance. She’s very sensitive to this and she doesnt like noisy people or kids.
My husband on the other side is a normal person who likes music and isnt an ultra quiet person as my mother expects everyone to be. He’s very respectful though and he’s quiet if he has to be. To be clear, he is NOT a very noisy person, just normal.
We dont intend on raising kids that like making noise for a hobby, but we also wont raise them with fear of anyone hearing they exist, like I was raised.

So the reason that Im upset is that I felt it was a critic to my choice as a partner, a threat as in “I wont be seeing your kids if you dont raise them as I want you to raise them” and I also feel if she does see them in the future she is very likely to influence them criticising them or their family if they dont behave as she expects them to.

On the other hand, I also believe she has the right to decide and must not feel forced to see them if they are going to stress her out, so I don’t know if Im being reasonable getting offended and worried about this.

Just to be clear, when I talk about her seeing them, I do not mean her taking care of them for us, I mean seeing them as in family visits or having lunch as a family.

So, AIO? Any thoughts?

Edit:
Thank you all for your answers, they’ve been very helpful.
We’ve talked about it again. She’s understood my point. Maybe she didnt think about it too much at the moment and didnt express herself correctly. She’s told me she will or course love them and will just tell me when/if she’s feeling overwhelmed. I think that’s a fair point.
She has been a good mother and Im sure she will be a great grandmother as well, I apologise if my post suggested otherwise.
I also know it’s too soon for this conversation but when disagreements appear I believe it is better to talk about them and find common grounds than waiting until the problem arrives.
Thank you again for all your answers and hope everyone has a great day <3

My sister confronted me by telling me that my partner 'doesn't care' about my mum because he forgot to reply to my mum's message. My partner has other ways in which he shows he cares e.g: he visited my mum in hospital and always pays when we go out to eat with my mum (and sister). So I told her just because he isn't good at texting does not mean he does not care. In response she said I'm a pick me for being defensive over a man. Mind you, I had already cleared up this text message situation with my mum.

The reason she even found out is because she went through the messages on my mum's phone and clicked on his chat. I find this so intrusive. Mind you we are grown ass adults (I'm 30 and she's 31). Being involved in a situation like this as an adult feels pathetic.

She also said 'you should be fine with me meeting your man alone'. She did not even ask. Just told me I should be fine with something I did not even have time to think about. Am I overreacting by finding this bizarre and intrusive?

Okay okay so i know the title seems stupid but please just read the rest!!

I (17F) have been cleaning the house every single day when my mom and little sibling (5yo) take a nap. My mother doesn’t work but my dad does, so when my sibling naps so does she. I usually come downstairs and clean the living room and kitchen and dining room while they sleep. It’s always a mess. Food left over from the morning or night before on the table and stove, toys EVERYWHERE, dirty floors, craft supplies left out and sometimes mystery stuff i gotta scrub out of the carpet. I do have regular chores like doing the dishes and taking out the trash and stuff so this isn’t like my regular household chores. This is me cleaning up the mess of 2 grown adults and a child who isn’t mine. I work about 30-35 hours a week on top of school and then i come home just to clean up after everyone else. i’m not trying to be selfish at all but it gets to a point because my mom doesn’t work so you’d think she would clean!!

Recently i stopped doing so much because im so tired from studying and working. My mom talked to me a couple weeks ago saying i need to “pick up my weight around the house” since i don’t contribute financially. she said if i don’t i’ll need to start paying rent. I told her im tired of cleaning after 3 fully capable people and having to scrape old food off of plates or scrubbing things out of the carpet isn’t normal household chores. i pointed out that she’s home all day and can help clean while i work. She got upset and yelled at me and said taking care of my sibling IS HER JOB. I said it is a lot of work however i can’t keep taking care of the house and my responsibilities. she called me entitled. Idk if im just overreacting about this and maybe it isnt that much work at all. idk what to even think.

I’m not sure how to start this but I’m not sure how I feel about my dad having a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong I love how happy he is because he does seem truly happy but I feel like he’s forgetting about my siblings and I. For context, my dad has been dating this girl for about two years but he kept it a secret for about a year. On Valentine’s Day we were going to a party just him and I and he dropped a bomb that I was going to meet someone I was a bit confused but then he told me how he’s been seeing this girl blah blah blah. She truly does seem to be happy with him as well however I feel like my dad is putting her and her kids before us. My dad used to always see my siblings and I no matter what, every week on Sundays here he was. He never missed a week and if he did he would let us know. It’s gotten to the point where he didn’t even see my sister on her birthday. I’m not sure how to bring this up or even talk to him about it because I know he’s always with her. I did some snooping around on social media and found her page and I see her posting with him all the time even on his page he is posting with her kids. They even post on the days he said he couldn’t see us. He always had an excuse whether it was him saying he was sick or he has work or even car problems. I’m not sure how I feel anymore, I understand my dad has his life outside of us however I hate how he doesn’t communicate because we’re here waiting for him to show up just for him to ghost us. What do I do

Edit: my parents have been separated for a long time what I’m having issues with is the lack of communication and complete ghosting

in the beginning of this year i was talking to a guy that me and my best friend had been friends with for months prior that i've been on and off with for a couple of years. he ended up blocking both of us to date some girl that we hate and my best friend went around saying the most horrible things about him for months, saying he was getting stds and calling him disgusting and referring to him as "aids" up until a couple of weeks ago. we ended up kind of making up, but i made it clear i didn't want to be friends with him and i didn't really want her to be either and she agreed. i find out a week later they're talking and are now dating. i ghosted her the second i found out about them and haven't said a word to her since and everyone is trying to make me feel crazy because it was so long ago but it was literally earlier this year. we were all friends with each other while him and i were together so she was just waiting for her turn the entire time and she hid it from me because she knew i wouldn't be okay with it. am i doing too much by cutting her off?? i didn't make a scene i just simply don't want to be her friend anymore but now she's talking SO much shit about me and i feel like i have to beat her up atp

Through text he asked my wife (his sister) to be in the wedding party and asked her to ask me to be in his. I asked who will watch the kids and was told they are not invited. So I asked, who’s going to watch the kids? Everyone we know in the area of the wedding will be at the wedding. We will have to spend 1 day traveling there and 1 day traveling back. I was told I should ask my parents to tag along and watch the kids during the wedding. I said it’s not just the wedding, we have to be at the rehearsal and all that. It’s a big ask to ask my parents to come. They are further away than I am and will not fly.

I want to stay home and watch the kids to let my wife have fun. I was told I’m ridiculous. Am I overreacting by not wanting to be apart of this?

So, me and my husband been together 3 years. I’m a yapper by nature but lately I haven been seeing how he doesn’t ask me questions like “how was your day” or “how your grandma with cancer?” Or “how’s your dad that fracture he’s leg?” Etc.

It has bothered me and we have talked about it so much, he usually tells me that it’s because he alr knows I will tell him and I tell him that it’s because he never asks. So I proceed to not tell him anything for a while and HE STILL DIDNT ASK about nothing.

I got diagnosed with cervical cancer and I’m having surgery tomorrow and he hasn’t asked me once, “how are you feeling? “ or “are you nervous” etc. when I confront him it usually ends up in a “I don’t know why” and a I’m sorry.

But this has made me spiral… I have been thinking like what does this mean? Is this normal? I know I’m not asking for too much and I told him . It also confuses me because once I put the conversation in the table he engages and stuff but he doesn’t ask like follow up questions much.

Overall he’s not like narcissistic, abusive or like a bad guy. He’s truly really nice and cool, he’s also a veteran Air Force, served 7 years and I’m he’s first and only girlfriend (I didn’t believe it until I went through he’s phone one time lol and also he’s family/ friends said he’s never introduced any girl, not even a casual friend to anyone.)

I feel like the more that I push for this closure the further away he gets

For some background,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months, we did however split for a short period of time in June. in the past, and even now, I’ve had huge issues with him lying. he’d lie about how a conversation went, if he was drinking with his friends, smoking, things like that. it drives me up a wall and no matter how much i beg he will not stop lying. recently, we also had a conversation about him texting another girl at 3am “i just want to talk to you”, which i think is inappropriate.

last week i came across messages between him and a female friend of his from when we were broken up. on the messages, they were discussing our relationship, he told her the reason we broke up was because i was controlling. he told her that i kept him from his friends, he also told her i was abusing him. None of the things he’s said about me is true. i use to beg him to go out with his friends and each time he’d tell me he didn’t want to hang out with them. neither one of us have laid any hands on each other.

I ended up confronting him about it 2 days ago, he told me he was angry at me- so he said it, then refused to talk with about it further and went to bed instead. i told him being angry was a horrible excuse to call me an abuser. the next day, i tried again, we spent the entire day arguing about it. he wouldn’t address what i was bringing up, and just kept telling me that i never give him a chance to make up for his mistakes. the conversation ended when he said he was so angry he punched a hole in a door and didn’t want to talk anymore.

I do not know how to move on from this, or if this is even something i can move on from. not only am i devastated he would say something like that about me, but I’m uncomfortable. this is not the first time he has gotten aggressive before. a couple months ago, he flip out and destroyed his entire room. i do not like the idea of being around someone who cannot control their temper, or who gets aggressive like that. but every time he make tells me I’m only highlighting the bad parts of him and that hes the calmest person I’ve ever met.

is it reasonable to break up with him? AIO?

Edit: Guys, i understand that my choice to go through his phone was not appropriate, i take accountability for the fact that i shouldn’t have. but it is so hard not to snoop when all he does is lie.

My boyfriend (40m) and I (40f) have been on and off for years. He has three kids from a previous marriage and I don’t have any. I know he has a lot on his plate, and I’ve always tried to be understanding of that, but there’s something I’ve been asking him for pretty much our entire relationship and I feel like I’m losing my mind over it.

I just want him to plan something for me. Without me having to ask 100 times.

The first year we dated, I planned almost every single date. I’ve also planned every vacation we’ve ever taken together. I pick the places, book everything, figure out what we’re doing, all of it. And for years I’ve been asking him to plan just ONE trip for us.

It’s not about money. I don’t need some extravagant vacation. I just want to know that he thought about me, considered what I might enjoy, and actually put some effort into making it happen.

And honestly, this goes beyond vacations.
I’ve never had a birthday celebration with him that I didn’t plan myself. I’ve bought my own birthday cake. If I want flowers, I have to ask for them. I genuinely can’t think of many times he’s done something romantic or thoughtful for me that I didn’t have to ask for first. And usually it’s not even asking once. It’s asking repeatedly until I feel ridiculous for even wanting it anymore.

We’ve had SO many conversations about this over the years. I’ve explained that I just want to feel special sometimes. I want to feel like he’s excited to do something for me without me having to organize the entire thing.

His argument is that he does a lot for me. He fixes things around my house, drives me places, and helps me with stuff. He says those things are more than the bare minimum and that I don’t appreciate what he does.

And I DO appreciate those things. I tell him that. I’m not saying he’s a terrible boyfriend who never helps me. He’s actually very helpful when it comes to practical things.

But I don’t think fixing something at my house is the same as planning something romantic for us. Am I wrong about that?

Anyway, after literally years of asking him to plan a trip, I finally told him that I wanted him to plan a weekend away for us. I gave him the dates, October 24 through 26, and told him I needed it booked by October 1. I also told him that if he didn’t do it, I was going to have to seriously reconsider our relationship.
I know ultimatums aren’t great. But at that point I didn’t know what else to do. I felt like I’d explained the same thing a million different ways and nothing ever changed.

Well, October 1 came and went and he hadn’t booked anything.
And here’s the part that’s really getting to me. The trip is supposed to be NEXT WEEKEND, and as of right now, there are still no plans. No hotel, no reservations, no actual destination. Nothing.
He had thrown out a couple of ideas. One was a place ChatGPT suggested, which he then decided was stupid because I don’t drink. But when we talked about it, he admitted he wanted to go there because HE had never been.
Then he started suggesting somewhere close to home. But by that point I was so frustrated because it felt like he was just trying to throw something together at the last minute to get me off his back.
And that’s the whole problem. I don’t want a trip he plans just to shut me up. I want him to WANT to do something nice for me.

He thinks I’m being unfair because he does other things for me and I shouldn’t overlook those things just because he doesn’t plan dates or trips.
We’ve broken up before, and he has also said that he doesn’t understand why he should change things when I keep leaving the relationship. I get that it probably makes him hesitant, but from my perspective, part of the reason I keep leaving is because I feel like I’ve been asking for the same things for years and nothing changes.

There are other issues in our relationship too, but this has become a really big one for me.
And I keep thinking, if he can’t even plan a weekend trip after years of me telling him how important it is, how are we supposed to plan an entire life together?
I don’t want to be responsible for planning every date, every vacation, every birthday, every holiday, and eventually every major decision in our lives. I want to feel like I have a partner who’s equally invested in making a life together.

He tells me he’d be devastated if I moved away or we broke up, but I don’t understand how someone can feel that strongly about losing you and still not follow through on something you’ve been asking for for years.
I finally told him that I don’t think we’re a good match anymore.
Part of me feels ridiculous because, on paper, I ended a relationship over a vacation. But another part of me feels like I ended it because I’m tired of having to beg someone to make an effort.

So AIO? Am I putting too much importance on romantic gestures and not appreciating the practical things he does for me? Or is it reasonable to want someone who actually takes the initiative to make you feel special without having to be asked?

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I am soon to be 18yo girl from Finland, I have never been close with my grandfathers, BUT I was always grateful to have two amazing grabdmothers. All tho, now that I’ve grown up a little and have a better understanding and view of the world. I realise that my grandmother from my dad’s side is extremely toxic. She has always hated my mother and criticised her parenting style (which is amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better mother). My grandma is extremely religious and tries to force christianity on me since I was a kid. I grew up in a safe environment where my parents made sure that I have freedom to believe in anything I wish. I live with chronic migraines and my grandma gives me ridiculous tips, like: ”look at reiki videos”, ”do breathing exercises”, ”I prayed that your migraine ends”. With all due respect, migraines (especially chronic migraines) varies from person to person, and only I know my migraines. I am grateful for my neurologists. She has always said that communication is a big tool and that fights or dissagreements are not normal and are toxic (which doesn’t make sense to me). If I don’t agree with her, or do something differently then she would’ve wanted me to, she guilttrips me. For example, she always tells me she couldn’t sleep at all and lost a good night of sleep because of me (could be from something as small as me disagreeing with her over groceries).
Her husband died earlier this year (I never had a good relationship with him, as he hit my dog and once told me he would beat me.) I feel bad for her and love to help her out and visit, but over this year it has gotten exhausting and I always feel like i’m doing something wrong when I do something she would disapprove of.
I am very open with my sexuality and with myself, she believes in waiting for marriage and is deeply dissapointed in me that I don’t want to do so.

There’s a bit of background, here’s my breaking point event. I made a tiktok with my other grandma, it’s this trend to why you deserve $1000 and lie completely to see how your grandma goes along with it, my grandma (who i did the tiktok with) was all in and laughed and went along with me and I thought it was hilarious. The next day I call my other grandma excited to talk to her, she starts screaming at me ”DELETE THE TIKTOK.” At first I didn’t get what she was talking about and just said ”huh?”. She then proceeds to yell at me how I don’t understand anything about manifestation and the things I said in the video will come true (yeah sure my parents will disown me). When I told her I don’t agree with her, she said “i always thought you were intelligent, but clearly you are not! You are stupid.” That hit hard because of my chronic migraines i’m not studying currently. Personally, I think I have a good emotional intelligence and have good morals and understanding of the world. She’s very against fights and namecalling, but still she said this to me. I am just over feeling dumb and disapproved of just because I am not who she wants me to be. She knows I have very little family that I am in good relations with. She will probably send me a bible verse or something and not even apologise. We’ll see what happens.

Excuse me for my language, I’m not native! If you have any questions, please ask! I would love some input:)

My wife and i have a female roommate. She is a friend of my wife’s the go so the same gym. This woman has acted odd since say one of moving in. Nothing super major but enough that it caught attention. Watching me work, randomly changing, her music tastes to mine, finding reasons to ask for help. So 4 years in she now getting close even to our families.
First stalkerish red flag im talking about my old business and she gets excited “ya i remember that place i miss it i used to go there and just look around” and proceeded to to describe my shop in detail. I used to always work in the back and didn’t pay attention to the customers much i had employees for that. I also closed the shop 10 years before my wife ever met her.
Red flag number 2 her and my wife are trying to figure out exactly when the first met my wife discussed an event that happened at the gym and she replied that wasn’t it we met on Halloween you came in wearing a costume. My wife does make a habit of walking around in costumes but the costume she described was specific to a Halloween party we went to thats the only time she wore it because it didn’t fit properly.
Red flag number 3 my nieces were over and one of them brought up the fact that I worked for in door kids only amusement park. She mentioned that she remembered that that she used to take her kids there and i gave them free stuff(i gave random kids tokens if i needed specific items tested) her kids however were older and to be the age that they were admitted into the park would have put them going the year my wife and i got married long before they ever met.
Now the newest red flag. We had a family party and we did a family trivia game. She answered questions about me and my family that members of my own family don’t know.

My 3 year old goes to a licensed daycare center. Twice this week I have picked her up and her pants have been put on inside out. These are acreen printed leggings so fairly obvious. Her shoes are often on the wrong feet too. One of the aids seems to get pretty short tempered with the kids but it could have been a bad moment also Just not sure what I should let go. The rest of the staff seems great. ​

So…this has happened again….for like the 4th time this year alone. She did this once last year as well. Why? She did not like her bill paying husband to put it on 72 AC instead of 73 AC. 1 degree. Now? She took it off because she refused to get our drip pan properly fixed back in 2024 after it was messed up and dripping into our wall and into the carpet, causing mold and other issues. She hired a plumber who helped her with some bathroom plumbing issues. The man shoved a rock into the attic and evidently smashed some wires. Because he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing and shouldn’t have been hired to begin with.

This man could have caught our house on fire (possibly I don’t know) with what he did. This issue could have been fixed 2 years ago had she allowed me to find an actual contractor, allowed the insurance to find one, or just wait till we could find a good HVAC person. Not a plumber. It began leaking badly again and the water spread from her room to my bedroom door, inside my room somewhat, and made its way to the next room just about. My step dad and step brother got up in the attic to try to fix this and got the pan fully empty for the moment and partly ok. But my step father turned on the ac again for just a few minutes as it was 76 and she apparently came out and ripped the thermostat off of the wall. Saw it when I came back with the dogs.

Am I going fucking crazy to think this is some narcissistic behavior? Multiple times in a year because she wants full control over the system? She isn’t even the one trying to fix anything. Sat on her butt while me, my step dad, and my step brother worked between yesterday and today to try to get this fixed. Which….mind you….should have been fixed 2 years ago! The carpet is already wet. It’s done for. I can’t even begin to comprehend the insanity of this whole situation. And I darn well know that she is pissed off with her creep of a brother and is taking it out on us.

I want to confront her. To tell her how insane this is. How all of this now is her freaking fault because she went the lazy route and hired an unqualified person who majorly screwed up our system. To honestly let out all of the anger towards her about this topic like she did when she so vehemently defended that man when my step dad said he did a shit job at fixing this. But I know that would make me as bad as her. And right now I am stuck in this environment. Can’t move back out. Can’t stay at my older sisters houses. Nothing. I just don’t have any words anymore to describe this reality.

(this is a repost but i just changed the title to what i thought its more fitting for this post so im sorry bout that!!)

Hi redditors, this is my first post ever, so im sorry if the format of this post is weird or anything like that, i have no idea how a "post" is supposed to look like. Also just wanna let everyone know english is not my first language so sorry in advance if there are any mistakes !

So to start off, I (19F) and my best friend (18F lets call her Amy ) have been friends since early 2021, we got especially close to the point of being best friends in late 2022 as i lived overseas in that one year gap. We always shared the same intrests like anime, music tastes and all that and we've ALWAYS had mutual friends (we met through a mutual friend). Important part from the first years of our friendship, in 2022 ive been diagnosed with few mentall illneses and she was very aware of them and didnt mind it, especially since half of our friend group at that time was also not so mentally healthy, so we were all very open about it. And to this day, we have lots and LOTS of mutual friends that are mentally ill as well.

Right now, we're the type of best friends where my whole family knows her and ACTUALLY remebers who im talking about when i mention her lmao, my dad always buys her her favourite drink whenever she comes over, she was always allowed to stay till ungodly hours at my house even on a school day (back when we we're in highschool), my older sister even invited her(kinda, it was more like she invited herself) to her upcoming wedding as i started to get them to know eachother earlier this year ( going to conterts together, hanging out at my sisters apartment or just hanging out anywhere tbh ). She was always like an another sister to me.

But this year i started to notice a few things that before i've always tried to ignore.

One is that i noticed im starting to be genuinely scared of her reactions to some stuff. I cant make it that day? Im scared to tell her because she'll be mad that i have other plans. She also doesnt understand the concept of "no i dont have any strength today i wanna stay home" and wont take no for an anwser, even after a 15 minute call of me saying no im sorry i cant/dont want to today, always ending these type of convos with "ugh youre so borring and lazy fuck you". First few times it was funny but after hearing Amy almost ALWAYS end a call like that it got really annoying and it sounds much more insluting atp.

Two is her weird "entitlement" to my (and lowky not only mine) sex life. So like a month ago, Amy and our mutual friend(Alex) went to Japan. I was also going, just a week after them, with a different friend(Jason). AND my other friend(Natalie) that also knows Amy, was already in Japan. Confusing i know but bear with me here. Basically i found out from Natalie, that before me and Jason arrived, she met up with Amy and AMY TOLD HER "keep those two whores from whoring themselves around because they like to do that"????? Not even as a joke, fully serious. And no it was not the first time she called me and Jason a whore or something along those lines btw. She has been almost like obsessed with who we idk hook up? Whenever we go out and i suggest the idea that i want to idk do as much as make out with someone, she alwasy goes "no youre not calm down, im not letting you whore around" Like i get being worried but THAT IS NOT BEING WORRIED.

Three is that she complains about her friends acting mentally unstable when she KNOWS WE'RE ALL UNSTABLE. During the Japan trip all of us had few meet ups, and Amy was so annoyed with Alex because of how "unstable" she was acting when Amy was VERY aware that Alex came out of a mentall hospital just a few weeks before the trip and was heavly medicated. Im not trying to say that Alex didnt do anything wrong during their stay, but 1. Coming up to me and Natalie every moment that Alex went away for just a second and saying stuff like "im so done with that stupid bitch i cant stand being near her anymore" and making her not being able to communicate that with Alex OUR PROBLEM was just plain annoying and wrong towards Alex? 2. Complaining about Alex being anxious and asking "Is everything alright? Am i annoying you or did i do something wrong?" (basically being scared that she is saying shit about her) everytime Amy was texting someone on her phone for a long time, TEXTING ALL THIS TO ME ON HER PHONE FOR A REALLY LONG TIME WHILE SITTING NEXT TO ALEX. Like bro....the call is coming from inside the house.

One time me, Amy and Alex were at my house, i havent seen Alex in a long time at that moment so we were cathing up. She was talking about her other time when she was in a mentall hospital and we just started to talk like "heyyy i also have that mental illness! twinss" type of stupid shit right. But then Amy says "um hey guys remeber that im NOT fucked up mentally so can we switch the subject? :)" (these are all translated from our langauge just so u know, so yes she did say NOT FUCKED UP MENTALLY). Basically shes really proud of the fact that shes not mentally ustable and she makes sure EVERYONE knows that. And she said lots and lots of times how in her opinion all mentally ill people use their illnes as an excuse most of the time. Me, Alex, Jason and Natalie are all diagnosed btw.

Four, shes sometimes so mean, like genuinely mean. We meet up with another friend to take pretty pictures, and as we were walking and talking about something (i dont remember what was the topic) she suddenly said to me "omg shut the FUCK up cus youre FUCKING annoying me" and for this, the translation in english does NOT even compare to the original, the words she used were such harrash and hard cuss words in our language that you can rest assured she did not mean this in a joke way. And AGAIN this was not the first time she said that to me :')

Five, theres another mutual friend of ours but Amy knows her since they were like 9yo or something. And she talks so much shit behind her back to me and ALL of our friends, and i mean SO MUCH SHIT. But then, she meets up with her the next day posting a picture with her "me and my pookie" on her insta story. This made me realise that if shes like that to her other friends, i am probably no exeption lol. And i did actually get the confirmation from Jason that she does talk about me lol

I am absolutely not an angel nor the perfect friend that does nothing wrong, believe me i know that, but ive never done anything to AMY before with the INTENTION of hopping it'll hurt her or knowing that what im gonna do/say is going to be something bad/hurtfull. Im saying before because since i started to really notice these stuff about her, ive been getting so annoyed with her sometimes i find myself not being so nice to her and biting back if she says anything remotly offensive or if it just rubs me the wrong way. I know i shouldnt do that but im a very compulsive person when it comes to speaking face to face and i am TERRIFIED of confrontation so i have absolutely no idea what i should do now that i noticed that someone who i cherrish so much has a lot of flaws and im not able to speak to her about it and the more of those things happen, i lose the will to even talk it out, thats why posting this is my last resort so reddit please help me if you have any ideas in what i should do :'))