There’s literally one person at work who has even the faintest idea of what I’m actually like, and it’s because her ass is ADHD too, so we just vibe on the rare occasions we talk.
u/-SpanishBiscuit- lol you know that almost half of people who claim to have ADHD have never actually sought a diagnosis, correct?
Which wasn't even the main point of my question. Nobody said it didn't exist, it's just one of the most falsely claimed medical conditions in modern times. I believe you're entirely focused on your condition and it's your defining characteristic.
Please explain further then, you said being entirely focused on the condition is itself a symptom of the condition. What if a person has ADHD but doesn't know what ADHD is? Again, just interested in hearing more.
You are interested in having fights online because you are a sad and lonely person with no social life, so you rile people up online in the hopes of getting some sort of human interaction that you are so desperately craving.
The other person blocked you, so you tagged them by name once you realized you could not respond directly to them.
Now, I am going to let you respond to me, I won't block you just yet, because I know that you have absolutely no ability to stop yourself from replying; it is a drug to you, and it is the only way you can feel.
So ADHD is fairly misunderstood especially by people who have it but aren't aware. You know something is wrong, you feel something is wrong, but you don't know what. Because of how the ADHD brain works, you also often feel like you're the only one. "Why is it so easy for everyone else to do homework but I struggle with it? Am I stupid? Am I lazy?"
One thing that our brains are bad at is having a steady supply of dopamine. And we also like to hyperfixate on stuff. So, when you get that diagnosis, you fixate on it.
"Oh, hey, I read more about it. This explains that incident that happened in third grade that I've been thinking about non-stop for forty years."
You go down that path, learning more and thinking more, and connecting it to memory after memory and it's just dopamine hit after dopamine hit.
It's also one of those things where if you don't have it, you can't truly understand it. So when you find other people who do understand it, that's another dopamine hit.
I'm not sure how well I explained it, but there you go.
I can appreciate that last line which does, kind of explain part of why someone would "vibe" because of a shared diagnosis. I initially started the inquiry because it's odd to me that someone would say they vibed with someone simply because they both have a condition. A substantive relationship/friendship would not be built solely on that though.
I've met plenty and often find someone entirely intolerable if they're always excusing or explaining their behavior by mentioning their condition. You are a whole-ass person and if you seem to explain everything you do around your condition like that, I find you boring and you are probably living a sad life that I don't want to be around. It's also an indication that you don't take personal accountability often, and people like that suck.
At some point, some part of you has to be a result of who you are. And if who you are is a medical condition, I can get to know you by reading about it in a book.
One of my former associates summed it up fairly well, I think. It works well with most medical conditions, at least in my experience. I'll paraphrase.
"If someone has a genuine medical condition, you can either tell or you won't be surprised when you find out. If they don't, they'll tell you about it all the time. Look at service dogs. A real service dog sits there like a good boy. The fake ones are loud and get upset when you call them on their bullshit."
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u/-SpanishBiscuit- 2d ago
There’s literally one person at work who has even the faintest idea of what I’m actually like, and it’s because her ass is ADHD too, so we just vibe on the rare occasions we talk.