r/TheOnion • • 6h ago

Trump Claims He Shared Cell With James Talarico In Insane Asylum

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245 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6h ago

Maybe It’s The Neurosyphilis Talking, But I’m Proud Of What America’s Become

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320 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6h ago

Natalie Harp Raids Trump’s Underwear Drawer

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416 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 3h ago

Authorities Investigate Collision Between Trains From Chicago Traveling 80 MPH, DC Traveling 75 MPH

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102 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2h ago

Infowarriors: All of your essential information now lives at therealinfowars.com

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62 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Report: More Americans Opting To Be Buried In Unknowing Neighbor’s Backyard

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447 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Corn Named World’s Sexiest Plant

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338 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Lewis Hamilton Figures It Probably Too Late To Ask Girlfriend Which One She Is

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166 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

Rockstar Announces 'GTA VI' Soundtrack Contains 10,000 Songs By Randy Newman

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1.6k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

Smoothie Shop Workers Not As Excited For Man’s Birthday As Marketing Email Made It Seem

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589 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

Late Uncle Remembered As Man Who Had Can Crusher In Garage

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480 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

Will Trump Running For Midterm President Help Down-Ballot Republicans?

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237 Upvotes

In the know - is back!


r/TheOnion • • 3d ago

North Dakota Apologizes For Contributing Nothing To Nation’s Greatness

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1.8k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 3d ago

Audubon Society Formally Excommunicates Penguins

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376 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 3d ago

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

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208 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 4d ago

Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call in Cursed Today

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727 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 3d ago

Marathoner Already Pissing Self Half-Mile In

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269 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

TheOnion seeks old print issues to complete their archve

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413 Upvotes

I received this email from the Onion and am posting it here to spread the word:

More info

Do You Have Pre-2012 Onion Issues?

Be Our Hero For Once

Greetings, Gentle Member.

The Onion prides itself on being a self-sufficient entity, even going so far as to making our own pens that use the EZ-flowing blood of interns as ink. Now, however, we are asking for your assistance.

Certain issues of The Onion newspaper are mysteriously missing from our 270-year archive, and you might be able to help us recover them.

Here are the issues we're looking for:

  • All of Vol. 14 (1988)
  • All of Vol. 15 (1989)
  • All of Vol. 16 (1989)
  • All of Vol. 17 (1990)
  • All of Vol. 18 (1990)
  • All of Vol. 19 (1991)
  • Vol. 21 Issue 12 (1992)
  • Vol. 22 Issues 4, 5, 7, & 16 (1992)
  • Vol. 29 Issues 19 & 22 (1996)
  • Vol. 33 Issue 9 (1998)
  • Vol. 39 Issue 5 (2003)
  • Vol. 42 Issue 5 (2006)
  • Vol. 44 Issues 49-52 (2008)
  • Vol. 45 Issues 1-20 & 33-43 (2009)
  • Vol. 46 Issues 3-52 (2010)
  • All of Vol. 47 (2011)
  • All of Vol. 48 (2012)
  • All of Vol. 49 (2013)

If you have any of these issues and are willing to part with them, we’d potentially be interested in purchasing them from you so that they can be properly archived.

Complete this form if you have issues in your possession that fill these gaps.

SELL US YOUR OLD NEWSPAPERS

Unsure if you have any of the issues? More detailed instructions are HERE.

Sincerely,
The Onion Membership Team


r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

Dev Lemons - broken life simulator: corporate life

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59 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

Pentagon To Livestream Firing Squad Execution

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702 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

Grandma Fondly Recalls Once Working With Homosexual

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1.4k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

White House Downplays Hyena Biting Down On Trump’s Ass

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458 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

FBI Classifies Not Finishing Hamburger  As Seditious Activity

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388 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

Recipe For Disaster

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117 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

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1.5k Upvotes