r/SoCalR4R • • Jul 01 '26

META Read The Rules + Spot the Bot + State of the Sub NSFW

83 Upvotes

Howdy folks. I know it's been a long while since we've had one of these chats. As some of you may have already noticed, we've recently implemented a new mod tool called Read The Rules as part of the neverending fight against the bots. You must complete this acknowledgement before you can post/comment in the subreddit.

How to complete the RTR Acknowledgement:

  • Click/Tap on the 3 horizontal dots on the subreddit page or any post/comment, and you'll see RTR in the dropdown menu.
  • Open RTR and check off each rule as you read them and click submit once complete.
  • That's it. You can happily resume participating in the subreddit.
  • Users on old.reddit can submit an acknowledgement by sending their sub a mod mail. You must use the subject "Read The Rules" and the body text "Acknowledged". Doing so will submit an acknowledgement automatically without mod involvement. Users will immediately receive a reply from u/read-the-rules if it was submitted successfully.

Things to note about RTR:

  • There are 13 rules total. If you aren't seeing all of them, you need to scroll with the cursor within the middle of the acknowledgement panel where all of the text is.
  • Some platforms/browsers are causing an issue where the tool is automatically unchecking some of the boxes when a user tries to submit their acknowledgement. If this happens to you, try using a different browser or submit your acknowledgement using the old reddit method. As far as I know, Reddit's mobile app and Safari on Macbook are the only platforms that have this problem. I've personally tested it and been successful on Google Chrome, iPhone Safari, Brave Browser, and Microsoft Edge (yuck).

That's the basic gist of it all. I know it may seem like an annoying inconvenience, but I've definitely observed an improvement in the bot presence (or lack thereof) on the moderating end since we implemented this. Hopefully, it'll get more people to actually read the rules too. One can dream, right? Please actually read them. I'm begging you. Now, onto the fun stuff. I'm about to put you all on game because there are way too many oblivious horndogs on here that comment "DM'd you" on very obvious bot posts.

Common Identifiers of Bot Accounts:

  • The poster is a 23-30 year old female looking for males.
  • The post sounds like it was written by AI (because it most likely was).
  • If the post contains the same buzzwords/phrases as other F4M posts, chances are they're all most likely bots. The current flavor of the week is "feeling/getting relaxed." They also use "Netflix and chill" and/or mention something about chemistry.
  • The account itself is 4+ years old. My personal theory is that the people behind these bots are targeting and hacking accounts that aren't protected by two-factor authentication, which is why they seem legit.
  • There's a big gap in post history. For example, if the last legitimate post/comment on the account (aka not in a r4r type subreddit) was over 1 year ago.
  • The account simultaneously has r4r posts in multiple locations (Houston/DFW, North Carolina, and Florida are the most common).
  • Posts in the following subreddits: r/LongBeachHookUp, r/eastbayhookups, r/SanFranciscoNSFW, r/DtfLosAngelesPeps, r/riversidensfw
  • If they respond to your chat telling you that they're getting too many messages and want you to message them on Telegram.

Use the tiniest morsel of common sense and intuition, and you'll avoid 97.34% of the bots on here. Basically, use the head that has a brain and not the other one, and you'll be golden, Ponyboy. Anyways, feel free to comment your thoughts, feedback, suggestions for the subreddit, and/or life opinions. As always, be kind to one another and yourselves. Love you.


r/SoCalR4R • • Jun 01 '24

META In order to post in this subreddit, your account must have 10 post karma AND 10 comment karma NSFW

143 Upvotes

10 + 10 = 20. Even though it's explicitly stated in the sidebar rules, we get a number of messages in the modmail everyday from people asking why they cannot post. If you have 100 post karma but only 1 comment karma, you will not be able to post. If you have 20 comment karma but only 1 post karma, you will not be able to post. No, we will not manually approve your post even if you message the modmail to claim you're a real person and not a bot. It's that simple, folks.


r/SoCalR4R • • 1h ago

F4M 22 [F4M] #ie - experiencing slander for being a blond man? not around here. NSFW

• Upvotes

hi! i’m 22, 5’1” curvy/chubby mexican. i dont speak spanish. i have bleached blonde hair, semi-alternative style, can send pics if u message me. i have a lip piercing & eyebrow piercing. no major tattoos. i’m not looking for anything super intensely freaky at the moment, mainly cause i’m pretty awkward. mostly looking to hang out with someone, see if we vibe, and go from there!

i love a good conversation, and my hobbies are learning to play guitar, playing bass, sewing, exploring record stores (especially stores that carry a lot of metal albums or merchandise, lmk if you know a place). i also like going to metal shows locally and in LA.

as for going out, we can get a coffee, walk around someplace, go on some sort of adventure. no pressure for it to become anything.

if that sounds fun, and i sound like your type, hmu if you’re my type! i’m looking for someone who is ideally around my age, 20-26(?), super into blonde men as i mentioned, i loveee long hair on guys though its not a requirement at all, and i tend to prefer my men lanky rather than muscular, but i’m not one to judge on body type. also, i like nerds. i need someone to watch lord of the rings with for the first time, and someone who knows a lot of random lore lol.

things i dont like:
- anime
- people wildly outside of my age range
- rap music tbh </3


r/SoCalR4R • • 44m ago

M4F 46 [M4F] #Fullerton - Have you been fantasizing hooking up with someone older and technically off limits? NSFW

• Upvotes

If you’re nervous about messaging me it’s ok, I don’t judge (or bite haha) and it would be fun to get to know each other or at least flirt with each other. I’m I’m married and in a dead bedroom and hoping to flirt, have fun, and experience my first ever blow job

I’m married but my wife has a very low sex drive (the last time we had sex was several months ago) and even though I give her oral sex when we have sex (and I’d like to think that I’m quite good at it and bringing her to orgasm) the longest blow job I’ve ever received from her was about 5 seconds and she’s never made me finish from a blow job. She says she just isn’t into it and the idea of giving a blow job grosses her out, and she is grossed out by the idea of me cumming in her mouth.

I grew up in a very conservative, strict family. The idea of no sex until marriage was pushed very strong on me and because of this I really didn’t experiment sexually in high school or college and didn’t have sex until I was married.

I’m looking to meet (in real life) someone fun and flirty and who actually enjoys giving blow jobs and who will help me experience something I’ve wanted for so long but never had the opportunity to enjoy. I’m completely fine with reciprocating and I’d love to give you oral in return and pleasure you to thank you for helping me to experience this.

I’m open to all ages as long as you’re at least 18. If you knew me, I’m the last person that you’d be expecting to do something like this and because I’m married I need to be discreet. I’m happy with getting to know you before we meet. Maybe you’ve wanted to have a man give you oral for a long time and we can do each other a favor.

I’m completely fine with trading pictures and I’m excited (maybe a tiny bit nervous too) about the possibility of meeting someone that can make this happen.


r/SoCalR4R • • 5h ago

M4F 22 [M4F] #SanDiego - FWB study buddy? NSFW

2 Upvotes

Hey everyone!
A little about me: I'm a college student in the San Diego who is half European and half Mexican. I have longish wavy black hair, big dark brown eyes and I’m pretty skinny/lean. I like to think I’m a pretty good looking guy so don’t be shy! Just shoot me a text message! I am however looking for something relatively local and in the area near where I live in, I just don’t think I can have a realistic LDR.
I’ve been kinda burnt out on the dating apps and that leads me to here! Outside of that, I'm a huge fan of rock music, love watching movies. If you’re into any of that we should get along great. I’m pretty easy going and very easy to talk to! I also just love going bar hopping and maybe doing some karaoke even though im pretty terrible at it. I am looking for a serious dating relationship if anyone is interested!

Some of my favorite rock bands are Oasis, Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, Queens of the Stone Age and so many more! I do love all kinds of music though! I also have letterbox, so if you’re a self proclaimed movie buff, maybe something can spark between us! In terms of who I’m looking for, I don’t mind any age, even older than me! I don’t really have a lot of preferences so no pressure let’s just talk and have some low-stakes conversations to see where it all leads! If any of this sounds like something you’d be interested in just shoot me a text and I’ll answer! Looking forward to meeting some great people here!


r/SoCalR4R • • 3h ago

M4F 40 [m4f] #murrieta - thick female wanted with curves big ass NSFW

1 Upvotes

Looking for a female with curves , love a woman with some body for me to grab onto and enjoy , thick juicy and breast to keep me busy, huge plus if you enjoy dressing up sexy ,

No pros, females only


r/SoCalR4R • • 4h ago

M4F 30 [M4F] #BeverlyHills - Married dad looking for a sneaky link NSFW

1 Upvotes

Looking for Cis Females only. No drama guaranteed I’m very discrete.

If you are into cheating kink or just wanna have some fun. Not looking to change my situation so this is no strings attached, one time or ongoing.

I require a recent test and have one to share. No cream pies or unprotected sex.

I'm 30, 5'10, 160 lbs, sane, down to earth, recently tested last month.

Got a picture in my profile for those looking for the D pic. Average size, good for those that want to practice DT.

Please be cis female, femme, 18+, HWP, clean, DDF and recently tested.

Can’t host but can come to you, get a hotel or Carplay works too.

Must be able to verify and be discrete. My hours are limited due to family obligations.

If interested, please respond with age location and stats as I won’t be responding to low effort messages.


r/SoCalR4R • • 5h ago

M4F 27 [M4F] #LosAngeles - looking for fun fwb :) NSFW

1 Upvotes

M 27 Latino, 6'0 , 6 inches, couple tats, interested in getting head and down to fuck too. I'm also down to just finger you if that's all you want


r/SoCalR4R • • 5h ago

M4F 37 [M4F] #sandiego - Patient teacher wanted NSFW

1 Upvotes

I’m looking for a friendly woman who can teach me how to pleasure her. I’m a somewhat inexperienced guy and a late bloomer. However, I’m a patient person, and I like to listen and learn. I enjoy giving shoulder and neck rubs too. I like to make people feel good.

I’m single, in San Diego, California, about 5’8” and 200lbs.

I have May STI test results (all negative).

If you have any questions, please let me know :)

(I’m open to people all over socal)


r/SoCalR4R • • 5h ago

M4F 31 [M4F] #SantaAna - "Uber driver/Delivery" Role Play and suck? pics on profile NSFW

1 Upvotes

Wanna Roleplay as an uber driver or a delivery person who shows up and you convince to suck off ;)

8 inch AND thick BWC. Are you trying to always push your limit and see how much your throat can take? Think you have wat it take to take a huge load? I think you are already salivating at the thought, so why not make it a reality? Tall and skinny 6'2 with a runner bod 160lbs Fit with abs 8 inches and thick

Let me know what you wanna do, and message me for some pics if you are interested ;)


r/SoCalR4R • • 9h ago

M4R 27 [M4A] #Anaheim - trying new things NSFW

2 Upvotes

About me: Fun loving Latino man who has experimented with other guys before, but something has been missing, giving head.

To be frank I’ve been wanting a cute gay boy or trans woman to cum down my throat, but I have little experience giving head. I’m hoping this leads to a FWB relationship but let’s see if I get any takers 😅 Pics are on my profile

If you’re a patient individual who likes having passionate and fun sex with a sort of amateur, HMU and let’s have a great time together.


r/SoCalR4R • • 10h ago

M4F 31 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Looking for something sensual/passionate NSFW

2 Upvotes

Looking for a more sensual/passionate hookup. Things like eye contact during missionary, extended foreplay, dirty talk, whimpering, genuinely wanting to please eachother, etc. This may sound a bit much for a subreddit like this, but I'm just at a point now where I feel like if a hookup feels overly transactional or passionless, it doesn't really do much for me and I'd rather just masturbate at that point. A bit more about me:

* 5'10", slim/fit body type, dark brown hair, brown eyes
* bit shy but friendly and can hold conversation
* tested clean
* love going down, pleasing really turns me on
* vocal when I'm turned on, especially during oral. I love to moan/grunt/pant
* like foreplay and building sexual tension versus getting straight into it
* switch, can be either dominant or submissive.
* Limited bdsm experience (handcuffs/blindfolds), but open to exploring it more
* turned on by public play, but totally understand if it's not your thing
* prefer communicative partners and partners not shy about giving/receiving feedback

Not sure what else to add. Just looking for someone that's a good fit and also respectful, clean, and just a chill/normal person. I can share pictures of myself over chat, and we can go from there.


r/SoCalR4R • • 6h ago

M4M 31 [M4A] #Ontario - Looking to swallow a load or get pounded NSFW

1 Upvotes

Masc and discrete bottom hosting or can travel

Looking to swallow a load or get pounded

Down for anything

HIV neg and DDF

Can host by pentagon city or travel


r/SoCalR4R • • 7h ago

M4F 45 [M4F] #OrangeCounty - Do you like to cuddle? NSFW

1 Upvotes

Would you like to cuddle with an older man? Snuggling up under the sheets while we watch a movie together? Sometimes being older and single gets lonely and it would be nice to have some physical touch and company every now and then.

I’m in my 40’s, normal, dad bod, and good at cuddling. I’m not looking to sex chat or do anything long distance. If you’re local and interested in meeting up in person, message me “let’s cuddle” and please be ready to send recent pictures and meet soon. Thanks


r/SoCalR4R • • 1d ago

F4R 28 [F4A] #LosAngeles - Looking to show off in cute outfits! NSFW

70 Upvotes

hi! i'm 28, half-filipina and half-chinese and live in LA. i'm 5'5" with tanned skin, a curvy/pear-shaped body and dark hair with pink/red ends. i come off as cute and pretty innocent in my day-to-day life, but i bought some cute lingerie pretty recently and would love to show it off and feel sexy! i also love getting dressed up and also appreciate having people compliment my outfits, and i'm always down to compliment people right back! also, just down to have interesting conversations with people and see what's out there.


r/SoCalR4R • • 7h ago

M4F 34 [M4F] #RedondoBeach - big chill dude looking for a ONS tonight NSFW

1 Upvotes

Happy Thursday everyone,

Long time poster here. Have gotten messages here and there but still on the hunt for someone.

Please don’t reach out if you aren’t down to meet. Not looking to message all day and have nothing go down.

6”4 mixed race black and white, about 235/240. Thick athletic build, no 6 pack because I like carb but I do workout.

As far as type I generally don’t have one body/race etc… I’m more of a guy who if he likes what he sees , he’s down.

No dudes please.

I can host in south Redondo and condoms will be used.

Really easy going dude, if you’re chill I’m chill.

Have a great night everyone.


r/SoCalR4R • • 8h ago

Couples 28 [M4MF] #HuntingtonBeach - Seeking hotwives, threesomes, or cucks needing a bull pt2 NSFW

1 Upvotes

Tall white guy from HB who’s happy to lend a hand. A real pleaser and an eater who has a kink for helping others with their kinks. If you’ve got any ideas, then I’d love to hear them.

Tell me a little about yourself when you send a message

Just a heads up, I can not host at the moment but am willing to drive or am down for CarPlay.


r/SoCalR4R • • 8h ago

M4F 31 [M4F] #Imperial - Looking for a thick woman for a good time NSFW

1 Upvotes

Title really says it all, I'm traveling for business for a few weeks, and I'd love to find someone to fool around with. I'm 31 with a BWC, and I absolutely love eating ass, so don't be shy Latina's. If you're interested, please feel free to message me


r/SoCalR4R • • 8h ago

M4F 26 [M4F] #Oceanside - hyperspermia guy pent up after vacation and needs to unload! NSFW

1 Upvotes

and I have many examples on my profile! the gist of the problem is, I typically really (and I mean really) need to cum daily or often twice a day to avoid the buildup of some bodily effects of mine. well, I’ve been traveling with a group of friends in close quarters and staying extremely busy and regrettably have become VERY pent up. if the profile is appealing, maybe we can find some activities of mutual interest…
happy of course to chat virtually and all that if it’s up your alley. really I’ll just be immensely horny and in desperate need of some sort of aid to finally drain all this lol. seriously, it’s a lot… like at least 3 times needed on that day (18th). aside from that, honestly I just enjoy talking with and meeting new people! if you’re into games/scifi/stem and also enjoy walks and hikes and paddle boarding, there’s also that :p anyway hmu!
respectfully please no couples or things of that sort!


r/SoCalR4R • • 8h ago

M4M 34 [M4M] #SantaAna - Discreet looking for a nice top NSFW

1 Upvotes

34, latino, nice looking, average shape. Looking to meet a nice masc top for safe and good fun. I'm 34 reg guy, bottom, clean, sti and drug free. New to this. Looking to host or travel soon.


r/SoCalR4R • • 8h ago

M4F 47 [m4f] #Orangecounty - Looking To Go Down On A Woman.... NSFW

1 Upvotes

I haven't done this in years. I can barely remember the last time I did. Maybe there's a woman that would let me try it on her and remind me what it was like. Is it that women actually like to have this done to them? Maybe you can let me know....


r/SoCalR4R • • 9h ago

M4F 37 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Chill Ukrainian looking for a late night person to cuddle, give massages, and maybe have naughty fun? NSFW

0 Upvotes

Not looking for anything serious, let’s cuddle, let me oil you up for a nice massage, get you all hot and horny and maybe that leads to something more? If not that’s fine too, no pressure, at least you will get a nice massage and some cuddles.

I can get us a hotel or go to your place. Located in BH adjacent but can travel

I’m easy on the eyes, keep in shape even at 37 lol. Ukrainian, 5'9, 160 lbs, sane, down to earth and fun to be around. DDF

Looking for cis females 18+, that keep in shape, HWP, attractive, clean, DDF

Not looking for pen pals, time wasters. Your pic gets mine.
If interested respond with your favorite drink, age, if you can host, your location and we can go from there.


r/SoCalR4R • • 9h ago

M4F 45 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Married Daddy, seeking AP for something meaningful, discreet, fun, hot, and exclusive NSFW

0 Upvotes

45, married daddy. 6ft dark hair, light eyes, tattoos, Ivy League education. In Los Angeles. I take health and fitness seriously and am currently on a completely reasonable, scientifically rigorous mission to achieve DILF status.
Life on paper is full: marriage, kids, responsibilities, career, all the usual grown-up machinery. What’s missing is intimacy. I’m in a sexless marriage, and I’m looking for one married woman who understands that strange place where you don’t want to blow up your life—you just want to feel genuinely wanted, connected, and alive again.
I’m into indie rock and folk, quirky-but-smart films and TV, good conversation, dry humor, and people who are curious about the world. I’d love something ongoing and long-term: attraction, friendship, flirting, intimacy, inside jokes, and the kind of trust that makes this feel like our own little protected corner of the universe.
Respect, privacy, and discretion matter enormously to me. I’m not looking to change your situation or mine, rescue anyone, or create unnecessary drama. Ideally, you’re married too, know what you want, and are looking for one consistent person rather than collecting chats like browser tabs.
If this resonates, tell me a little about yourself—and maybe the last song, movie, or show you became slightly obsessed with


r/SoCalR4R • • 9h ago

M4F 40 [M4F] #StudioCity - handsome, thick, nicely equipped for fun and flirty NSFW

1 Upvotes

40 [M4F] Los Angeles - handsome, thick, nicely equipped for fun and flirty

Are you into a strong, hairy, chubby man with a thick juicy dick? I’m slowly finding my way around LA and I’d like to find a fun new friend who also wants to fuck. Sex is often better with a bit of connection, and I’m currently lacking in both departments. I’m intelligent, open minded, adventurous, active, and seeking similar qualities in you. If you’re in the market for a cute well-equipped bear, slide into my DMs and let me fill your void. Fellow nerds/alts/weirds to the front.


r/SoCalR4R • • 9h ago

M4F 51 [M4F] #NorthHollywood - Searching for a Discreet Friend NSFW

1 Upvotes

I’m an older married man who is searching for a woman who is open to some excitement in person. Ideally, we share similar fetishes or have similar fantasies you’re looking to fulfill.

Ideally you’re very discreet and adventurous.

I’m 5’8”, 170’ish lbs, easy on the eyes, with shrt brn hair, brn eyes, slight dad bod, and very hygienic.

Since I’m married, it is very important that you are also clean & discreet.

If you are interested, plz message me.