Since this community helped me to understand my SMBC journey better and encouraged me to go for it I would like to share my experience and maybe to help a women which is still deciding.

I’ve been dating since I was 17. Besides companionship the goal was to get married and have children. With years of dating nonsense and after two engagements, where the men turned out not to be men I want to have children with. I’ve decided to do this on my own, without the very real possibility of divorce and custody battles. I really didn’t want to traumatize my child with this just so they can say who their father is. Which most men aren’t even worth the title in my book. Plus my friendships are way more companions and emotional connections then any man ever was capable of.

I always knew I was a mother but instead mothering my own child I spend my love on men which made me resentful of their incapacity, selfishness and weaponized incompetence.

I became a mother at 38. Currently my perfect baby is sleeping on me and I still can’t believe how lucky I’m to call myself finally a Mama. And the thought that she will call me Mama soon enough makes me emotional.

Sometimes when my baby is fighting sleep I can’t help myself but to kiss her cute little face and head until she gets tired and falls asleep. After this many years of not having my child earthside with me, sometimes I start to cry when I hear certain songs, memories or just holding this perfection which I created in my arms. It’s the best and deepest love without end.

I’m not saying that the journey is going to be easy. That you will have a crazy easy pregnancy and love every day of it like I did. Giving birth, postpartum and sleep deprivation will be painful and the hardest thing you will ever do. Don’t be fooled, be prepared.

But if you are in doubt or scared and only feel 50% of what I described above you can feel encouraged to go for it. It’s all worth it and your on a good way.

Someone approached me with a potential job opportunity but it would probably require moving to a new, more expensive city. At first I thought, “no way,” but after sleeping on it I’m realizing this would be a life changing amount of money. Like, 7 figures to start money — money that could provide my children with a completely different set of options in life. But it would require me to leave my amazing village: my parents, sibling, and a wonderful chosen family of fellow parents who I truly feel blessed to have. No joke, in an emergency, there are probably two dozen people I could comfortably call to come watch my kid. I know how very lucky I am.

I have some close friends and cousins in the other city, but nothing like this, which took me years to build.

I’m not looking for advice for my specific situation (this is all way way too theoretical at this point) but it got me thinking: how much money would you need to move away from your village?

I am an SMC of two daughters. One is 15 and one is 18. The 18 year old recently left home to go to University two hours away. At first it was difficult but I am feeling much better about the transition right now.

However I am just wondering what my future looks like and also I am wondering what life will look like once I live completely alone.

Are there any SMC's with teenagers/young adults out there? If so how did you deal with the empty nest? And also if you decided to start dating again how did that go?

I am currently pregnant, and also house hunting, a lot of changes at one time yes! I live in a rather big apartment so space and size for me and my baby won't be an issue if I stay where I am for a bit. It is not as if I NEED to get out and buy now, I do want to. But I feel I am putting unneeded pressure on myself to buy now before I have my kid, and if the right home comes I will, sure.

I live in an elevator building in an urban-esque suburb. I also have a dog whom I have to walk. I am curious if any other SMBC had to navigate this and how? I am due in May so I am not worried about cold weather for awhile (phew) but are there tips for rainy days? My dog can wait in the am, and be on my schedule so I am not worrying about rushing her out. Mostly just how the walks are handled in rain, and then later in the snow (I am in the NY tristate area).

Yes, I can get a dog walker and plan to but that does not mean I will not have to take my dog out. I still will need to bring her out, which means bringing my child with me. If I had a house, the door to grass would solve the problem, and I will continue looking but do I need to put that much pressure on RIGHT NOW, or is it working for some of you?

I 26f have been doing a bit of research on the cost of iui in the UK, I'm not going to be going ahead until I'm at least 30 so I'll have a few years to get some proper savings stacked up. However I would like to know how others from the UK went ahead, in terms of how much savings they had when they started, how much did it all cost/is costing you.

I'm estimating that I'll feel comfortable when I have minimum of a year living expenses, bills rent ect and enough for multiple iuis, donor sperm vials, and back up costs if IVF is needed. It's looking to be around 50-60k but I'm worried I'm under estimating.