Hi,

I’m in a beautiful relationship - we’re deeply in love, and share so many niche interests and values. He treats me impeccably, and after around 100 first dates and another long-term relationship in my early-mid twenties that ultimately wasn’t right, I genuinely feel like I’ve found the best of the best for me.

The only thing that makes me anxious is that he’s a bit younger than me. We’ve been together for six months, and although we both want marriage and children eventually, we haven’t explicitly discussed timelines or whether we see those things together yet.

We’re both ambitious and doing well for our ages (I own a tiny house, and he owns a flat); he's very mature in that way, and doesn't party or act immaturely. He supports me MASSIVELY and helps promote my business. He invests into me in any way, shape or form he can, even teaching me to drive.

However, in general convos, he makes it clear he'd want a big house to raise kids in - and support like a nanny etc., which I agree. Neither of us is ready now, and I’m not in a rush, but I’d ideally like to be engaged before 30 and have my first child around 33, when he’d be 31/32. So, sometimes a silly, irrational part me me worries... worries that he'll want to delay kids and stuff, until he's 40 or something.

Having previously had an abortion that I grieved, I know I want a kid, despite past ambivalence. Sometimes I worry we’ll have five blissful years together only to break up, leaving me feeling as though I gambled with my future.

But it also feels insane to end something this good over a hypothetical risk, especially when dating men 2-5 years older resulted in painful flings and situationships before my bf (!!). Again, my bf is SO loving and would miss me beyond belief. He’s mature, adores our mental connection, and doesn’t seem like someone who wants to spend his thirties playing the field.

I don’t want marriage and children at any cost either; I want them with someone I truly love. And I finally have that.

I plan to ask him naturally how he sees the next few years unfolding, including when he’d ideally want marriage/children.

But if he gives me a loving yet vague answer, which he might as a 26-year-old who's madly in love but busy making money, should I be concerned?

How do I balance being realistic about my future with trusting a relationship that feels so rare and right?

I'm beyond aware that my age (albeit not much older than his!) is my issue, as are any irrational or rational fears I might have, as is any tenderness I feel about my abortion.

But I think it's fair that, in such an adoring relationship, I make it clear to him I would need to walk in 2-3 years if we aren't getting engaged as I want the best bet at achieving my dreams.

I feel that psychologically, being calm and confident about this while letting him know it'd be a natural consequence will help him rise up (if we're meant to be).

Any thoughts? Thanks so much. <3