I’m looking for some insight from people who have experienced psychosis, mania or a similar episode themselves, or who have supported a partner through one. (We live together).
I’m (30f) really struggling to understand where my boyfriend (30m) is mentally at the moment.
My boyfriend has a history of psychosis and a documented mood disorder. He’s been taking aripiprazole again for 13 days now, after around five months of taking it inconsistently and almost a month completely off it.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed significant changes in his behaviour and thinking. He’s had periods of very little sleep without feeling tired, increased activity, impulsive decisions, irritability and unusual beliefs. He’s talked about reading people’s thoughts, people being connected by strings, and his soul being shattered, with a pin holding him together. Every 5/6 months he tends to break up with me because he thinks the relationship isn’t working and then once his mental state improves he will apologise and say not to listen to him when he gets like that. This time he has done that again but he keeps saying we’re broken up even though he keeps trying to remain close with me, spend time with me, kiss me and cuddle me, despite me putting boundaries there.
His presentation seems to fluctuate. Sometimes he’s affectionate, joking, laughing and acting much more like himself. At other times, he’s emotionally numb, confused, agitated or convinced that his unusual beliefs are real. Sometimes they both cross over. His speech is now mostly at its usual speed, but the beliefs are still there, and his sleep and mood remain inconsistent. He’s also physically restless, and I’m unsure whether this could be a medication side effect or part of the episode.
Over the last few days, he’s made sudden plans to leave and stay with a friend in London for a week, despite previously expressing unusual beliefs involving that friend. When his family expressed concern, he became very angry and said everyone was treating him like a baby and trying to control him. He eventually agreed to stay once I spoke to him but his mood continued to fluctuate.
Today, I tried to be playful with him because he seemed tired. I jokingly asked whether he wanted me to swaddle him so he could take a nap and he smirked and replied, “Swaddle your dead baby.” This was an incredibly hurtful thing to say because he knows about our baby and what that loss means to me. I walked away.
The past few days he’s been irritable/angry/detached. But he’s been seeking my company often, more than usual. Today he’s been so rude, disrespectful, stand off ish.
I’m finding it difficult to understand what I’m seeing. Is this consistent with ongoing psychosis, mania with psychotic symptoms, a mixed mood episode, or something else? Could the changes in his mood and behaviour mean he’s moving towards recovery, or can symptoms fluctuate like this while someone remains seriously unwell?
In his previous major episode, he restarted medication on 4 January 2024 and didn’t seem much more like himself until around March 2024. Even then, he hadn’t fully recovered. I’m worried because I don’t know what to expect this time.
I’ve tried repeatedly to get his mental-health team to see him sooner, but his appointment is still scheduled for November. I’ve contacted his GP and tried 111, but I haven’t managed to get him an earlier psychiatric assessment. He’s currently taking his prescribed aripiprazole daily, but his symptoms are continuing.
For anyone with personal experience of psychosis, mania or supporting someone through an episode:
● Does this presentation sound familiar?
● Can someone still be experiencing significant psychotic symptoms even when they’re having relatively normal, affectionate periods?
● Have you experienced fluctuating moods, confusion and irritability while recovering?
● How long did it take you or your loved one to feel more like themselves after restarting treatment following a prolonged period of inconsistent medication?
● Is there anything else I should be asking the medical team to consider?
I know nobody here can diagnose him, and I understand everyone’s experience is different. I’m just trying to make sense of what’s happening because I miss the person he was before all this, and I feel lost trying to understand where he is in the episode.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to respond.