r/Petloss • u/Firm-Mix8255 • 5h ago
Advice Wanted Feeling guilty over thought of new pet
Hi everyone, to jump right into it, I lost my soul kitty almost 2 weeks ago. He passed naturally of old age (18 years old), in his favorite spot, with me next to him. It was completely unexpected but I know he was happy. My grief has been unbearable. He’s the first pet I’ve ever lost, and he was my closest companion for all of those 18 beautiful years. Now, I’m scared to be alone and I can barely stand even being at my house. I have never felt such a deep loneliness.
That brings me to my problem… I’ve never lived without a cat, so my boyfriend and I have started making plans to welcome two kittens into our hearts. Part of me is so happy, but I can’t help but feel guilty for getting a new pet so soon after my baby passed. Everyone I talk to seems to have mixed opinions. Half have told me to go get a cat right away, others have said they waited years after losing theirs. I feel like either way, I’m not making the right decision. I know timelines are very individualized, but is 2 weeks WAY too soon?? I like to think that my past baby is guiding me to my next friend, and that I’m on the right path, but I still feel like I’m disrespecting him in a way. Has anyone else ever dealt with these feelings? What did your timeline look like?
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u/PrettyNegotiation416 5h ago
I lost my girl six months ago and I had her for 21 years. I think a bit like being widowed. Healed people are able to be alone for a while while people who need a distraction move on faster. I loved that girl more than anything, and even though there are a couple cats I’ve looked at. I’m just not ready and I’ll wait until my heart feels absolutely OK with that, even if that means never. Everyone’s gonna be different but that’s just my two cents. She was with me my entire second quadrant of life from 21 to 42 and no cat will ever be her. I’m not healed from her loss yet and I know I would feel a ton of resentment with any cats since I’m not healed yet.