I (18) never minded being an only until this past year. I don’t think I’d mind so much if I had a more “normal” life but My parents have an age gap and my father is elderly.

My friends are talking about college and meanwhile I’m worried about who’s going to take care of him, how my mom is going to do alone, what if I need to come home quickly because of a health scare or inevitably his funeral, how I’m going to help her when he dies while being a student / early in career , ect.

Being an only child makes it so much worse. They have no practice with a child leaving the nest, and as soon as I do, it will be lonely and I don’t know what theyll do with themselves. They’re both retired and don’t particularly like each other.

I feel parents who have siblings still have those other kids, they retain a sense of purpose and it probably eases the shock of no longer being 24/7 responsible for someone they’ve taken care of for approx 2 decades when the eldest / first moves out.

And then I worry, when my mom gets older how it’s completely on me to take care of her. It feels like I have no room to fail and have so much pressure to succeed because if I don’t it’s not just me who goes down but her too.

My friends and family all have siblings and young parents so they don’t really understand or relate to what I’m feeling right now. I was wondering if anyone here has advice or suggestions for coping with the impending doom feeling of taking care of parents or for easing the transition when moving out for the first time?

Hi,

I am an only child and I am getting into a pretty serious relationship with my boyfriend. He has quite a big family of two younger siblings and his two parents. I am also a child of divorce so my relationship with my parents are quite seperate and it's never a "ask your mom" or "ask your dad" kind of dynamic. I've always struggled with dating and interacting with my partner's family but I am having a much harder time with my current boyfriend. His family is quite family orientated and often exclude me (mostly his dad) because of our differences in culture.

Has anyone else had this issue and if they did how did you get comfortable with another family?

I am an adult who is an only child. I don’t have any family near me other than my mom. We have a strained relationship because of her long term partner. I set a boundary that I do not want to see or be around him after realizing that growing up around/with him I noticed many things he would do, that I didn’t appreciate or find respectful to me or my mom. It really affected my childhood and how I am today. He has said and done inappropriate things through the years as well. I do not feel comfortable around him. I have given him multiple chances growing up and as an adult which he always blew. I don’t trust him, I don’t like him, I resent him. I feel like he is controlling my mom and influencing her decisions. Since I set my boundary and made it clear that I just want a relationship with my mother and want nothing to do with him it has been hard to see her even though she lives close to the city I’m in. Now she is going to be moving across the world. I already feel alone as I don’t have family here and the family that is around the world I am not close with. My grandma passed away from dementia and Alzheimer’s years ago, that was really hard to see and deal with since my grandparents moved to Hawaii when I was young. I don’t have many memories of her and I hate that I couldn’t see or help her when her health went down hill. I’m afraid this is going to happen to my mom. I know she is an adult and will make her own decisions. I just feel alone, I have no sibling or family here. Knowing that I won’t be able to go see her as easily is scaring me. I want to visit but I don’t have a passport and made it clear I won’t be interested in seeing her partner if I visit. I don’t want her to feel so far away and she already feels so far away. Is it normal for feeling this way and feeling resentment about the situation? How do I feel better about this, how do I not feel so alone? How do I not worry?

Due to recent mental health/relationship issues, I’ve (31F) realized and have had to accept that I need to come out to my parents in order to start healing move forward with my life for both myself and my partner.

The problem: my parents are very right wing conservatives and do not support the 2SLGBTQIA+ in any capacity. Nothing new, but I’ve been so dependent on my parents that the fear of losing them and them removing me from their lives has actively stopped me from taking charge of my life and live authentically. I’ve also been diagnosed with ADHD (my parents don’t believe it cause they don’t believe in mental health issues to an extent) and I’m beginning to question if it’s more than that, as I struggle a lot with anxiety, depression, mood swings, physical pain, and constant brain fog and disassociation. Now that it’s impacted my relationship and my mental health, I need to push through the fear and get it done.

The 2 main reasons why I haven’t come out are finances and my belongings. My parents have a history of throwing out things of mine that they don’t like, and I’m afraid that they’re going to toss all my things; all my childhood toys, clothes, shoes, and other personal items into either the garbage or donation before I have the chance to get them. As for my financial situation, I’m currently $18k in credit card debt and have been relying on my parents to help out, such as paying my rent 3 times a year, paying for my transit pass, etc.
I have accepted the fact that I’ll lose access to these things but I’ve been making the effort to get my money situated so I’m not overly stressed. I’d love to have these debts just cleared up so I’m not living on edge all the time, but I’d rather deal with financial stress than continue to live a double life.

My current plan: my partner, roommate, and I rent a car, plan a day when everyone (ourselves and my parents) are home so I can get everything out and bring back to my place where I keep it in the garage. Sounds easy enough, but my parents love to ask questions and the last time I brought up taking all my things, they seemed weird about it, like it wasn’t something they’d ever thought I’d ask.

Where I’m looking for advice: Any ideas on how I can talk to my parents about getting my belongings without being suspicious, how I can sit down with them and have the uncomfortable conversation regarding my sexuality, and any suggestions on dealing with the aftermath if things go south. I’m not close to my extended family but I was wondering if I should reach out to my uncle (my dad’s second oldest brother) and wife who I trust with very serious information, as they’re both the most level headed of my extended family and have already agreed with being my emergency contact if something happens to my parents.

I’ve accepted that things might go really badly, that it might turn into a shitshow and my parents disown me. As much as it pains me to think this way as I’m their only kid and don’t want to be shut out, I can’t keep living like this. I’m burnt out, mentally exhausted, physically struggling at my job, and causing turmoil in my relationship. Any advice, big or small is helpful, thank you for reading

I’m 19f I turn 20 soon and I fail to have connections with people, I’m not sure if it stems from being an only child or it just happened. I especially lost the ability to connect when I was 17. Since 17 I’ve felt pretty empty if I can say…but yeah I’ve always felt this way, I’ve had a hard time connecting with people in general.

My mom always told me I loved my friends so much when I was younger we’d even argue about it because I always put them first because I have no siblings, but tbh I’ve never felt a connection, like that platonic love everyone posts or talks about, yeah I can laugh and vibe with people, hell we’ll bond like crazy but it never really sticks and that’s a bit scary, because it makes me feel really alone, I mean I know I’m alone but it makes me feel even more alone.

I know the saying “you just haven’t find your people” I believe I have, I have a beautiful friend group but I don’t understand why I can’t just love them the way I’m supposed to, I’m not a bad friend and I’m always there when they need me etc but I feel like a robot when it comes to platonic relationships, which makes me sad a little. Idk if I’m chasing a feeling that doesn’t exist and over romanticising it or something.
Does anyone else feel this way?

For anyone here who’s settled a parent’s estate without siblings, how did you manage it alongside a full time job? I’m an only child and live in another state, so I can’t just stop by the house whenever something needs attention. I’ve already hired a probate attorney and I thought they would take care of most of this. They’re handling the legal side but I’m still doing much more than I expected. When I ask about something, I usually get instructions on what I need to do rather than someone taking it over. I understand that might be what I hired them for but it hasn’t helped much with the workload. The house is my biggest concern now that I’m back home. Taking time off for the funeral was one thing but I can’t keep making the trip whenever something needs to be dealt with in person. There’s no sibling nearby who can go instead. I need help getting things done, not just understanding what needs doing. What would you have handed over sooner?