r/oneliners • u/No-Cardiologist7640 • 17h ago
Learning Braille is so easy you can do it with your eyes closed
35
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/CFCYYZ • 1d ago
I joined the Procrastinator's Club in university, but the meetings were always postponed.
25
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/breck • 14h ago
Doc said he would be right back and told me to get undressed but never said stay in exam room.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/sulldanivan • 1d ago
After biting a flight attendant Selma Blair had the nerve to complain about the in-flight snacks.
15
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Timberfist • 1d ago
TIL that Area 51, the top secret United States Air Force base in the Nevada Desert is so called because it measures exactly three meters by seventeen.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/SlitchBap • 3d ago
It's ironic that pregnant women can only have virgin drinks
56
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/ShaggyB • 4d ago
A hurricane and a himmicane got together and made a smaller storm and then developed post partum tropical depression
22
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/CrazyKZG • 6d ago
My penis may not be 12 inches long, but it smells like a foot.
57
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 6d ago
Pessimists see a bathroom stall without a door while optimists see a shit show ready to happen.
7
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/puneri_nonpunekar • 7d ago
Never thought that enrolling in a study abroad program would land me in a brothel.
11
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
People who speak in absolutes are all fucking idiots.
151
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
I bought an invisibility cloak but I cant see myself wearing it
30
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/awesome_smokey • 8d ago
I'm getting my son a time machine for Christmas this year, he fucking loved it.
58
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
I admire people who follow their dreams because mine usually involve being naked in an airport
25
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 8d ago
Man rushed to hospital after cutting off his cock proving that the sword is in fact mightier than the pen is.
29
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/DepartmentOfBoobs • 8d ago
Tits are proof that even gravity has favourites.
8
Upvotes