So, I'm 35, m (ish) and bisexual. I've been having a lot of mental health struggles recently and, although I have a fair few battles going on that I'm working through in therapy, it often comes down to gender dysphoria and an identity crisis that I never had the tools to work through.

Growing up in the 90s and going to high school in the early 00s in a small town in north-west England, gender dysphoria wasn't a thing we talked about. Coming out as bisexual was a difficult enough thing to deal with. I grew up in a hyper masculine bubble and actually only came out to my parents a few years ago, despite the fact that I was and still am in a relationship with a woman.

She had been amazing about it and is more concerned with me being ok with who I am, the idea of me exploring my gender identity is something she's willing to help me to do which is huge. I'm going to take it a step at a time and I have some huge internalized barriers to break down but I'm ready to start my journey as someone who has always felt they live outside the confines of traditional gender duality and now feels a lot safer being able to express that. I'm terrified but I'm also really excited about it.

I’m in dfw and going to an indie concert tomorrow wondering if anyone wants to join :3 im 26 and open to chat in messages !

I recently got binding tape because I've been feeling really dysphoric over my chest and how it looks in shirts I used to love. But I'm super anxious about things and putting it on makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong and that if anything bad happens I'll be questioned on how said thing happened and I'd rather not explain why I had tape on my chest.

I haven't worn a bra in several years because I hate how they feel and I hate the pressure on my chest so I know that a binder would make me incredibly uncomfortable. Its very frustrating because I've been breaking down over how I look but I finally get the thing to change it and my anxiety freaks me out so bad that I get out of breath and have to take it off.

Does anyone have any tips on how to bind safely with tape that way I'm not risking anything? Any reassuring words would be helpful so I can hopefully get my anxiety to a point to where its not freaking me out about this.

Thank you, and much love :)

Now that i am chronically ill and post OP i have noticed how much i have valued my strength my whole life, even as a kid I'd make sure to carry heavy things explicitly to show i was as strong as the boys – i remember always volunteering when the teachers said they needed "strong boys" to carry/push around tables.

Apparently as an adult it was also the case at the gym and especially at my blue collar work, since the cis men kept telling me to carry less weight or trying to get things off my hands – i was definitely making an effort to carry as much weight as possible to make a point.

I am posting here just because i see this as being heavily tied to my non binary identity and to being treated/seen as a girl, so i wanted to know if anyone else feels this way.

Disclaimer: pls correct me if i use some incorrect terms or make a suggestion if you think it ok but could be better

I hope this is the right sub to ask all that but pls let me know if it's not

Hi, so i am a trans man (feel pretty binary if one could say so). I am kinda struggling with understanding the "mechanics" of being out of binary system. As you know there is lots of different trans- cis- de-trans- experiences that are very much different from one another but i always find some internal understanding of almost every story i encounter. What sems to be a struggle for me is that at the point of non-binary i just can't put it together. I didn't have much nb friends to ask all that.

So what is your identity to you? How do you feel it physically AND emotionally? What have you achieved after coming to understanding that you are non-binary? Do you feel any disphoria and how? Why would you decide to go or not to go on hrt? Is passing matters for you? How if so? Is it even a thing for nb people?

And probably what's most important for me to know is how do you experience gender euphoria and what should one do to make you feel seen and accepted?

Wanna explain myself in advance: I've encountered very few non-binary people in my life and tried to be very respectful (u know u don't need to understand deep reasons for give a person respect they deserve) but i feel like walking on a thin ice here just because i am not educated enough. I am afraid of making person in front of me feel less valuable and comfortable or even not valid just because of lack of knowledge. I know that everyone has a different experience so I'd gladly read and put some thoughts in every answer.

And if you feel like chatting in general i would be so happy as well

Edited: its important to mention that English is not my first language and my first language does not have pronouns for non-binary people so if it is the case for your language as well pls share how would you prefer people referring to you in your language.

I also understand that nobody owns me explanation on this topic so let me know if i overstepping here please

I feel like the system is unfair to non-binary people

I'm an Amab he/they nonbinary (thanks to everyone who supported me under my late night rambles last time, it helped me realize that I do indeed count) and i wanted to ask yall if there's any advice you have for preparing to come out to family, dealing with dysphoria, or Works of fiction I should see, thanks again... Guys technically isn't appropriate here but I'm so used to using it without regards to gender that It's gender neutral to me and I don't have any replacement off the top of my head... Chat maybe? thanks Chat

I just wanted to share cause I dunno I'm kind of weirdly bursting with joy and yet it feels like such a strange new feeling.

So without rambling too much, its taken me a long time to work out I'm non binary. And a fairly long time (or it feels like it) to go from accepting being trans to actually doing anything noticeable about it,

Ive been warming up to dressing more how I want to, which i guess is kinda alt femme? I started with skinny jeans. Which seems like not much but was/is a huge deal for me. I think I've had all this repression of myself for so long.

Anyway the main this is with some help from my partner I diy'd a cropped tank top that I've been wearing with some other clothes this week. Its like ,the first time I've combined more obviously femme / "gender" clothing together with some makeup and just gone about my life. Just to do our shopping mainly.

But wow, it feels amazing. Ive slowly added small things over months and now i feel like its a kinda complete outfit. And I'm not as scared. I feel like me. Its so strange, I've never felt like this at all.

I don't really know why I'm sharing tbh, Its just so cool. I guess, I've read this sub and others on Reddit so much over the last few years before I even figured myself out (I'm slow haha) and i suppose I just wanted to share the positive results. Maybe it helps someone?

Either way thank you to all the people who share their stories on here, it makes such a huge difference. Its like, I've unlocked a cheat code or something. Life isn't perfect or whatever but suddenly I can actually be me and the world doesn't just immediately end!

I’ve been with my ex for 4 years and have been in a sexual role that I slowly out grew. It wasn’t until putting on lingerie one night that it dawned on me that, I hate the way that we’d have sex. Since we’ve been broken up, I’m so sexually frustrated. I want to get pleased in the way that I WANT but, I don’t even know what that is… help?… I feel so lost and like a part of me is broken. Has anyone experienced something like this since become more comfortable as nonbinary?

Or worst what about GENDERFLUIDS (me)

edit: typo in question it's not bisexual, it's non-binary, mb

I’m just curious. They seem to be equal parts loved and hated in my in-person community. I wondered how nonbinary people feel about them on a larger scale.

Hello! Apologies in advance if what I’m about to ask is insensitive and/or too direct. But I’m genuinely curious about nonbinary people, like what’s it like coming out to friends and family? What are some struggles you may have faced with society with this gender identity? Do you worry about presenting yourself as too feminine/masculine?

It's not about nonbinary people labeling their relationships as straight if they feel so. When i encounter a person who claims nonbinary people who are attracted to any other gender are heterosexual, I feel dread. "Straightness" is political. Heterohegemony is a real thing and only men and women in heterosexual relationships are respected by it. If a visibly nonbinary person enters a relationship with another visibly nonbinary person with some difference in gender id, is this straight in the eyes of the state?

"Hetero" is used in science as prefix that means "other", "different". It is also a political statement that recognizes 2 binary sexes and genders on a legal level. I know personally because of where I live, it's written in the constitution. You dont hear binary people ever thinking of two visibly nonbinary people and going "this is a straight couple because one of them is agender and the other is a demiboy!!!" or something. They dont give a damn about pronouns, surgeries or whatever, they want to ban anything queer.

Rant over

EDIT: I want to give it a conclusion, being straight implies you have political power and proximity to violence towards gay/bisexual/non-straight people when in reality 99% cis conservatives or not conservatives wont consider it as respectable by the legal system unless you both look closer to male + closer to female couple. So people who say nb is inherently heterosexual think nb people have power (to enact oppression) over gays. Like what? You can't take politics out of heterosexuality even if it started out as a scientific word.

The last one we had was a subreddit from 4 years called [r/NonbinaryGamers](r/NonbinaryGamers) which no one can join anymore because of it going inactive. It’s about time we had one what with how binary-normative and rapidly exorsexist this world is getting. Discussions about nonbinary games, themes, nonbinary characters, etc, all that is being done in either this subreddit or trans gaming subreddits where especially regarding the latter it feels like there’s barely an audience for that, and instead an existing audience that is frequently ignorant and uninterested. We have several trans (binary-focused) gaming subreddits, lesbian gaming subreddits, gay, sapphic, queer, etc, but when its for us, as with almost everything else, its crickets. So it’s really about time we had one, and while I’m not familiar with the process of creating a subreddit besides aiding in the decision process of rules, I could aid in moderating and just atleast open up a space for us to finally facilitate discussion and much-needed growth for our community

Hi y'all! So I've been testing around with pronouns and seeing what feels right since I realized I might be nonbinary, but it got me thinking about my name as well. My name is undoubtedly feminine and associated with women/girls, and it's always been something that has irked me. But I don't really want to change it, both because of how annoying it would be to do and because I do still have an attachment to it.

So I got to thinking about introducing myself to others with my last name instead. It's more gender neutral and uncommon, and I still get to keep my og first name. Has anyone else done this? I got the inspiration from Project Hail Mary of all things since the main character is referred to by his last name more than his first name throughout the film

Don’t get me wrong, I am soo happy and grateful that I had top surgery and that I don’t have big boobs anymore. But I also feel a little lost. I identify as a demigirl or a nonbinary person on the feminine side. So I don’t want to be a man and I feel neutral about being seen as a woman but also I feel so much more „me“ in an androgynous body and when I am seeing myself as nonbinary. But now without boobs I feel disconnected from my body. I am anxious if I made the wrong decision of not getting nonflat topsurgery. But then I look in the mirror and feel so free. I like my results so much but when I wake up I feel panic because I realise I don’t have boobs anymore. I am anxious that I don’t fit in, that I don’t pass as a woman, that I am seen as to masculine, that I will never be a part of a larger group like womanhood. Does anyone felt like this after top surgery? And if so, how do you connected again with your body? I would appreciate every experience, advice or thoughts.

This line of questioning has most times led to answers like:

"Ever since I was a kid"
"I have always known"
"Since my breasts started coming in"

This doesn't feel like my experience at all.

I was interested in using makeup when I was a child but that was maybe because I experienced a lot of colorism from family and society. Now im more into skincare and looking like my skin color.
I have recently realized that I am non-binary and it has been isolating(I live in a very conservative country) but also very wonderful.
I prefer myself to look more androgynous, when my beard starts to come in I hate my face. Without skincare I hate my face. If my skin looks dull at all, I hate my face. When its the other way around I am much happier and energetic.
When I had just hit puberty at around 16, I didn't have much facial hair, and I honestly miss that look.

There are also things that are better now vs before when I was younger.
I started weightlifting, I have a 28 inch waist and have always been sickly looking(mental health crisis didn't help). Now I have filled up a just a little and I honestly want to keep it that way.
Even before I realized I was Non-Binary I had started to groom my body hair around my chest area also grew out my hair.
The other day I got a wolf-cut I feel great.

I am confused if this is body dysmorphia and all the work I have put into trauma work is finally landing, or is it both?

Or is it more towards dysphoria? Cause sometimes the shit feeling feels separate from my trauma and when its not there I feel so different in a very positive way.

What can a sexologist advise on treating genital dysphoria?

Im afab demiboy, i don't want T or atleast not yet because i need to look i to it more and the only real change i would want is ether beard hair but mostly a deeper voice, both of wich i can get around without T and its other affects.

I was wondering how to go about having a temporary beard if it was possible to grow more hair and maby dye it idk honestly

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So I’ve noticed some patterns within myself and wanted to discuss them to see if they’re relatable or not. So I’m likely neurodivergent and may suffer from RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). For me, rejection can be painful and distressing in a way that’s hard to process at times, and I do believe it’s made me avoidant in life.

Here are some real-life examples for a better picture. I would think of texting someone but hated the idea of bothering them or not having anything to say. The anxiety I get when one of my managers is walking towards me on my break because I assume something’s wrong. The anxiety/rage I feel when I can’t help a customer fast enough because a machine is slow or I’m waiting on someone to help. This one drives me nuts because I hate disappointing people. Hopefully those examples gave a picture of my rejection issues.

Recently I’ve noticed how it shows up in my gender exploration/introspection meditations. I can see myself and what I would look like if I were able to. It makes me smile to imagine what I would look like. I feel beautiful in those moments of daydreaming. Then I find myself seeing/hearing all the rejection and confusion and deny the whole idea altogether.

So has anyone else suffered with this or anything similar.