r/NannyEmployers • u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer • 19d ago
Subreddit Announcement š£šØ [All Welcome] New Rule: Cross-posting and bans
After mod conversation, we have noticed an uptick of people posting against the flairs. We have noticed that these coincide with posts that have been cross-posted to r/NannyBreakRoom . Those who cross-post posts from our subreddit into other subreddits, particularly subreddits intended to talk about how awful this subreddit and the participants of this subreddit are, are not participating here in good faith.
Going forward, anyone who cross-posts or engages in cross-posted activity from our sub into NBR will be banned with no warning.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 18d ago edited 18d ago
Those comments were locked since apparently drama mongers are amongst us and this really isn't the place. The decision was made amongst the mods last night after we've had an increase in reports on posts.
Just a note, mentioning a pattern of behavior to explain why we are implementing a rule isn't drama. Flouting the rules is :)
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u/MyNerdBias 17d ago
Love how some are losing their shit when NBR does automatically ban anyone who is not a nanny or is even a nanny who happens to also employ (or have employed) nannies.
The courtesy goes both ways. This sub is actually more lenient and inviting, as long as you read and respect the flairs.
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u/JustNeonDust 17d ago
The lack of self awareness over there is as funny as it is obnoxious. They have an entire sub that explicitly bans non nannies, but NannyEmployers banning people who repeatedly cross post their content and brigade NP only posts is somehow unfair and āabusive.ā And now theyāre openly discussing taking screenshots so they can keep doing the exact thing the rule was created to stop lol.
You canāt demand everyone respect your closed nanny only space while throwing a tantrum when another sub enforces its own boundaries. Apparently boundaries are sacred when they benefit them and abusive when they donāt. Truly impressive mental gymnastics.
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u/MyNerdBias 17d ago
Apparently boundaries are sacred when they benefit them and abusive when they donāt.
Just like a contract. :P
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 17d ago
It's one of those rules for thee but not for me type things. And pairing that with the amount of people im certain are lying about being NP to avoid the flair rules or claim to be both an employer and a nanny to avoid the rules, i don't know why some people are so bent on feeling they need to comment where they're not invited.
If the crossposts weren't bringing in rule breakers this would be a non issue. Our last NP only cross posted post there had over 200+ comments, many from nannies. It's annoying.
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u/JustNeonDust 17d ago
As a heads up, it looks like they plan to just take screenshots to continue effectively cross posting. Iām not sure itās quite the brilliant workaround they seem to think it is.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 17d ago
Im not sure how they think that's any different. Obsessive really.
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u/Visible_Catch555 17d ago
I always hope the people claiming to be nannies who are making the most unhinged comments are former nannies and not people who actually are trusted with other peoples childrenā¦the mental instability reflected in their comments is beyond concerning. The benefit is that Iāve been able to help a number of friends screen nannies using things Iāve noticed on Reddit. Itās really helped us to be able to identify red flags quicker and eliminate the crazy before they get a chance to start.Ā
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u/MyNerdBias 16d ago
Do you mind sending a message with the things you notice? I would love to know. My first nanny was so batsh*t, I can't believe in hindsight how long I kept her for. I have really wonderful nannies now, but can't help but think it was mostly luck.
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u/Visible_Catch555 16d ago
Itās really just the crazy things I read about that I would have never thought to ask. Iāll list out a few. Obviously you have to be really tactful in how they are brought it but this is more just stuff to think aboutĀ
-how do they feel about sleeping during the shift? Do they expect to be able to nap when the kids nap? -do you expect to be able to run personal errands while watching the child? -discipline: ask all the questionsĀ -expectations around managing the day if parents work from home (are they expecting you to hide from your kid all day?) -inform them there will be an AirTag on both the stroller and diaper bag (non negotiable) -what are their expectations around outings? How often? How long? Where to?Ā -what are their expectations around snow days/bad weather days? How will you all determine thatĀ -what are their expectations around GH? Do they understand that if you are going on a trip but something changes and you donāt go or come home early they will need to come in? (IE GH are not in fact extra PTO and should never be treated as such.Ā -what are you expecting them to do during GH while your away? Are there tasks you want done? Negotiate all that ahead of time and clearly document in the contractĀ -how will you handle if they come in 30 minutes late? Would you dock pay? Dock it after the first time? Let it go but expect them to stay 30 min laterĀ -how flexible are they with schedule changes? -how much communication are you both expecting during the day? Do you prefer morning and afternoon updates? Once a day? Never?Ā -screen time philosophy and how that is managedĀ -if your kid naps 2-4 hours a day how do they manage that time? Are they expecting it to be a 4 hour break or are they open to completing tasks and if so what kinds?Ā -what are their expectations for the house at the start of the day. Obviously the goal is leaving it as clean as possible but if it turns out to be a chaotic morning and there are a few breakfast dishes in the sink are they open to popping them in the dishwasher or leaving them for you or will they flip out and rage post about your audacity on Reddit? ššš totally kidding.Ā
Thereās so many more but those are the big ones we try and talk through. Thereās truly no right or wrong answers. Just identifying if this person is a good match or if moving on to the next person is best.Ā
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u/Individual_Fox6488 18d ago
Worth mentioning that brigading is against Reddit rules and something the mods can report for admin enforcement. So anyone engaging in it should be careful. Even though mods cannot see who is doing up/down votes, reporting, etc the admins can.
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u/Visible_Catch555 18d ago
Thanks for all you do to keep this a respectful and kind place! Us soulless employers really appreciate all you do.šš¤£ā¤ļøĀ
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u/CuriousCat511 3d ago
Does this sub block cross posting completely, or just those with NannyBreakRoom?
Asking because I've noticed Reddit often pushes people to cross post. Seems a bit harsh to ban people for potentially doing what Reddit is actively telling users to do.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 3d ago
At this time the rule only extends to nannybreakroom crossposts and that's because the posts that get crossposted tend to be NP only posts that then get brigaded with responses from nannies. The mods decided that the people who are crossposting dont need to participate here. Other crossposting hasn't been an issue.
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u/juniperbug123 16d ago
how do i prove iām a NP? it wonāt let me add flair
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 16d ago
You post in nannybreakroom. You cannot post here as a NP. So I don't know if you're being honest with me or not but regardless, you cannot post in NP flaired posts.
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u/Ok_Tumbleweed2182 16d ago
Post or comment? Just trying to clarify.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 16d ago
If you comment or post in nannybreakroom, you cannot comment on posts flaired NP only. You would essentially follow the same rules as non-employers, which is that you would be welcome to post on any post flaired All Welcome but not on the posts flaired NP only. It only has to do with how someone is flairing themselves and what posts they are interacting with.
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u/juniperbug123 16d ago
one of the flair options of former nanny who is now employing a nanny.
i was not aware i had to choose one group or another. i am asking you how can i prove this to you and youāre just saying iām lying. this is part of the reason itās impossible for me to ever post on here.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 16d ago
You cannot post here as a NP if you have posted in NBR in the last year. NBR does not allow employers to post at all, even if you are currently a nanny also. Because of this, we take the stance you cannot be both following their rules and our rules at the same time. You can wait a year from the date of your last post in May and post here as an employer if you wish. You are otherwise welcome to post on posts flaired All Welcome.
For what it's worth, posting in NBR is never going to prove to us that you're a NP since posting there is admitting you're not.
See the pinned post: New Rule - NP Only Flaired Posts : r/NannyEmployers
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u/juniperbug123 16d ago
i responded to a comment in may in that group regarding food stamps. i did not create my own post, seems a little unfair to now be on a waitlist for that.
it was the first time that group has popped up for me since i stopped nannying two years ago since i had to start chemo, hence why iād comment about food stamps as i am also struggling during this time.
iāll make sure to never ever comment on a parent post going forward in this group until my timer runs out š«”
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 16d ago
Well your year timer just started over since you made a comment there to complain lol You can't post there as a nanny and here as an employer. It's not that difficult.
You asked how to prove you were an employer so I put your name in pushshift and searched nannybreakroom to see if you had posted there to verify. Pretty weird thing to complain about when you're asking to essentially be verified and you're not even taking the time to read our rules or NBRs rules. But alas.
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u/juniperbug123 16d ago
you have too much time on your hand to keep stalking my comments i posted just a few moments ago.
of course i would have an issue with how you responded over me commenting about food stamps. i even share more information behind why i commented there.
i donāt want to comment in here after that interaction why would i. it does not feel like a safe place to even ask questions.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 16d ago
Im not stalking your comments, I was updating the notes on your account and can see your entire profile when I do that. Lol Love that you're breaking their rules though. It's cute.
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u/juniperbug123 16d ago
i stopped working since starting chemo. iām not breaking rules, iām not punished over there for getting cancer do you hear yourself
my account is private, you only got that from searching when i asked to you how can i prove to you. you then said since i commented about food stamps i canāt. i said i only did that after not being able to work from disability so i understand the system is frustrating.
you are now talking to me like a child and being rude.
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 16d ago edited 16d ago
Your post history is not private to modetators on the subreddits you post on. I can see your entire post history, which is why i knew you posted in breakroom. You cant post on NBR as an employer and you're claiming to be an employer. I dont know why that's hard for you to understand but i dont enforce their rules for them nor do i care if they enforce theres. Ours are clear.
I didnt read the content because I didnt care what it was about. Please read the rules of a sub before you participate. Thanks.
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u/JustNeonDust 16d ago
You realize mods can see your full post historyā¦right? It doesnāt matter if your account is marked private. Thatās intentional, so they can verify that people posting actually meet the subās criteria.
Mods doing basic due diligence to weed out bad faith actors isnāt āstalking.ā It takes all of two seconds. Whatās actually weird is lying about who you are to force your way into a space you know you donāt belong in.
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u/isaywhatisaid 18d ago
So we canāt even comment on those posts or we will be banned? Um ok
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 18d ago edited 18d ago
We are implementing that rule because nannies are brigading our NP flaired posts consistently, yourself included. If there wasn't such an inability to follow the rules and if there wasn't such a direct link between cross-posted posts and rule breaking comments, we wouldn't need to implement such hard nosed policies. And just to clarify what I mean by yourself included, you've had 2 temporary bans and 15 removals in 2 months for failing to follow our rules. It's a problem.
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u/isaywhatisaid 18d ago
Did that make you feel better?
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u/lizardjustice MOD- Employer 18d ago
Explaining why we implemented the rule? It's not like I brought your post history up without your input. If you have any other questions about why we are implementing rules I'm sure there's an answer. This particular rule was implemented because of prevalent rule breaking violations. You provided a great example of the amount of rule violations we are getting and frankly, how lax we are on taking a final step against it, with many many warnings which is why I brought it up. Perhaps it's better not to question why we are tightening the rules when you are someone who consistently has broken them and has gotten so much as a hand tap over it. So yes, the answer is, you will be banned if you don't follow our rules. It's unfair to our community.
If NBR had any rule against brigading or if the members there had any foresight to stop themselves from brigading or if people just followed the rules in the first place, we wouldn't be having this conversation and we wouldn't have implemented the rule.
I'm locking this thread because this really isn't a debate nor an area to fuel further drama.
The entire post will remain unlocked in case there are more specific questions from other users about how this will be implemented, etc.
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u/AutoModerator 19d ago
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u/Frequent_Coffee_3081 18d ago
What does this mean exactly? If you see someone commenting in NBR on a post from here originally then they are banned? Iām not familiar with Reddit so would appreciate clarification š