I just lost my partner, because of depression. No, she didn't die. She left me because of my depression.

As someone who has had his bouts with depression all throughout his 30 years of life, I'm in a much better place now, but I don't think the thought ever goes away. We've been together for 5+ years and she knew about my depression from the start, but she called it off, saying she was waiting on me from the start.

In our final moments, she was told by her friends that she can't be my therapist. I never asked her to be and I wasn't going through my said "bouts" that time. She said she was waiting, but I didn't exactly say on what. To change? To get better? I made improvements already, but suddenly she can't accept that there's this part of me that I have to live with.

If anyone is reading this, please love all the parts of your partner, not just the good ones, but also the bad ones.

Hi I been diagnosed with Panic and anxiety disorder for 3 1/2 months now. I currently on meds too (mirtazapine).
So yun nga yung since first time ko, wala akong idea anong mamgyayare sa session na to. Then nagstart na she introduces herself, then nag ask sya bakit nangyayare to anong nangyare prio my first ever panic episode then kelan naulit, ano din nang yayare before ako masugod sa hospital which is 3 times na since I was diagnosed. Sinabi ko yung mga dahilan then after sabi nya nasa cycle daw ako ng avoidance need ko daw i challenge yung sarili ko kasi kung ang goal ko is ma off meds someday I should deal with my thoughts and para hindi na sya magappear or malessen ang mga physical symptoms and she thought me the breathing and some exercise na makakdistract sakin if I am having a panic attacks. Then ayun na yun. Dapat ba na ganun lang? I was thinking kasi na hahalungkatin nya ang mga hidden traumas or iiyak ako to her pero walang ganun and the things that he thought me nabasa ko na yun? Did I expect too much or baka know it all lang ako? Like after the session I was like yun na yun? I dont know. Can someone help me if ano ba talaga dapat ang ineexpect from a psychologist consult?

Lately, I feel like I’ve been distancing myself from certain friends. They are really good friends and as much as I want to be there for them, sometimes it’s so draining to hear them rant for hours. I’ll accommodate them as best as I could and maybe I’ll last for the first hour, but beyond that is making me feel uncomfortable.

I feel bad because I know at some point I was like that and I know I was draining back then too. I understood it when others don’t have the mental space for a rant so I always ask beforehand or give warning. But I just feel like a hypocrite and guilty for not having enough mental capacity to listen as much as they need to.

The past few years have been nothing but failure. Failure to myself, to my family, to everyone. As the eldest child, alam ko naman na I have responsibility to help my mom (single mom) and my siblings, pero ang hirap. I am still young, pero bakit salong salo ko na lahat ng responsibilidad? I don't want to blame my mom because I know that she has struggles too.. pero ako? Paano naman ang life ko? Hindi ako masaya.

Grabe kasi 200+ isa kahit with PWD discount! Meron kayong alam na pwede kunan nito na mura or free? Sa Laguna ako. :)

Edit: May alternative na kami ng psychiatrist ko. :) Just checking if may alam pa kayong ibang way to get this cheaper or free sa mga center or DOH.

Hi everyone, please don't judge me hahahha pero minsan naiisip ko, Paano kaya kung mabangga nalang ako ng kotse at dalhin sa ER? Para lang maramdaman ko yung love and care nila saakin? may times talaga na ganyan na ako mag isip after what someone said to me

hello po, tanong ko lang po if pwede po ba mag request ng specific time?

Paano po kayo nakaka-bounce back at nakakahanap ulit ng will to live? Sobrang intense ng nararamdaman ko now and parang may chills buong katawan ko di ko na alam gagawin ko. Wala na akong ibang maisip now kundi mawala na lang sa mundong ito, ang tanging nagpapapigil lang sakin ngayon ay ayoko mag-inflict ng anything na physical harm as katawan ko pero ramdam na ramdam kong di ko na kaya mentally at emotionally. Wala rin ako masabihan at mapagkwentuhan sa mga nararamdaman ko kasi lagi lang nila iniisip na nag-iinarte ako at fina-frame as "weaponized incompetence." Ganto rin ako 6 months ago and sobrang na-invalidate lahat ng nararamdaman ko to the point na wala akong kausap sa bahay for 3 months. I'm scared na ganun na naman mangyayari sakin at ayoko na maging pabigat sa pamilya ko. I also don't have the capacity na magpa-consult sa psychologist and psychiatrist dahil college student ako and kapag naging aware sila na i'm seeking professional help ay same na mangyari last time. Pagod na pagod na ko, dami ko pang gustong ma-achieve sa buhay at maranasan pero parang hanggang dito na lang kaya ko. Sana I can make it through the week. Sana maregulate ko emotions ko just enough to find a reason to continue living.

I’m so done with living with my parents, (I’m 18yo btw). They criticize me for everything and nothing, anything can and will end in screams. I can’t stand the way they think, they’re christians and im a lesbian, im proud of being black and they’re racist, I wanna talk and they want to just win the argument. I’m living in a fascist house. On top of that I’ve been having suicidal thoughts since I was around 10yo and when things get hard I can’t help but dream of being finally free from them. When I was younger I wanted to emigrate to other country, now the world is caos and I can’t get a job or organize enough to do something freelancer. I’ve wanted to start therapy but then my mind fills with all the “but’s”, cuz I can’t afford it, and I can’t tell my parents cuz they’ll try to push me to church, and then if I get the money I feel like It’ll go to waste. Plus I’m pretty sure I’m neurodivergent but I’m not diagnosed either and a therapist with neurodivergence specifically is even more expensive and I just feel like I’ll be better dead. My brain will finally be in silence, I won’t be bothering my only friend anymore, my mom won’t have to waste money on me… and then I feel bad again cuz I’m conscious of my privileges and how lucky I’ve been to have education and many talents and potential, but I feel like I can’t. I don’t wanna be here, I wanna be a ghost or a spiritual being idk, I don’t wanna have a body, I wanna be free. I don’t wanna be a burden or my parents pet. I wanna be me but the price is too expensive so I wanna die.

i really don’t know how to live anymore. gustong-gusto ko na lang matapos ang lahat, gustong-gusto ko na : (( nasasaktan na akong sobra, hindi ko na alam gagawin, ang alam ko lang, ayoko na.

life’s been so harsh ever since my lola left this april. can i just stay by her side, ayoko na rito, pagod na pagod na ako, nasasaktan na akong sobra.

Almost everything has ties talaga sa unresolved/unhealed childhood/family trauma pala talaga haha

Siguro yung hiniling ko dati, magkaroon ng partner na tulad ni daddy. In fair, lahat naman ng mga naging ex ko, masarap magluto, which is one of the things na gusto ko kay daddy. Ayaw ko sa lalaking di marunong sa gawaing bahay. Marunong din naman sila pero 😅

Kahapon tinanong ako, bakit ako nahihiya humingi ng pera o ambag. Di ko masagot. Ngayon ko naisip, habang patanda ako nang patanda, mas nahihiya ako humingi o humiram ng pera.

Siguro na-instill sa utak ko masyado na habang nakatira ako sa pamamahay nila, sila masusunod. I mean, ganun naman talaga. Pero nasasakal kasi ako haha. So parang tinatak ko sa utak ko na i'll make it on my own para makaalis. Hindi ako hihingi ng tulong sa kanila. I've always wanted to run away. I think 3 years old pa lang ako when it started. Pero di natutuloy haha. Then high school came, this time, I started to have s* thoughts. Puro plan lang naman, never did anything to harm myself.

But I'm literally only alive or made it through dahil sa mga kabarkada ko. I guess what made me set aside those plans and thoughts was when an ex-friend (another story for another time 😂) almost did it. Grabe yung naramdaman ko that time. Yung iyak ko, yung kaba ko. Ilang beses ko tinry i-reach out after receiving her "last" message. Gusto kong lumabas para hanapin siya pero alam kong di ako papayagan kasi late night na nun. I think hours after, I finally got ahold of her and kumalma lang ako when I knew na nasa church siya and she was still alive. I didn't want my friends to experience what I went through so ayun.

Pandemic was so hard for me, it was my worst nightmare. Nakakahinga na nga lang ako pag nasa labas ako ng bahay tapos nawala bigla yung "freedom" ko. Sobrang nahirapan ako mag-adjust. Kung anu-ano pa sinasabi sa bahay kasi tanghali na ako gumigising or lumalabas ng kwarto. Thing is, ayaw ko sila makasama. I mean, with everything that ALL of them did to me, who would actually want to live with them. I was just using them so I could survive.

Umabot sa point na I forced myself to ask for help sa isang prof ko na doctor kasi di na kinakaya ng mental health ko. I was about to leave, pero hinarang ako. The very reason why my mental health was declining yung talagang pumigil sakin. Tapos syempre yung isa kong kuya, sobrang mama's boy. Nung tinatry kong kumawala at medyo natulak ko, pinalo ako ng bote ng tubig sa ulo ko :) i even had to call my prof right then and there para lang maniwala sila na KAILANGAN kong makaalis and di na talaga healthy para sakin yung environment. Nung nakausap lang ng kuya kong mas may utak yung prof ko, tsaka lang ako hinayaan na umalis. I stayed with a friend for a week. Then nahiya na ako so I asked my cousin kung pwede ba sa kanila muna ako.

Fast forward, medyo naging okay, nagkaroon ng konting "usap" then sumama ako pabalik sa bahay. Tapos parang ilang araw o linggo lang ata, lumala na naman mental health ko hahahaha. This time, pinaalam ko na sa daddy ko na aalis na ako. I actually didn't know where i'll go basta gusto ko na umalis. He then offered me na bakit hindi ko na lang siya samahan sa bulacan. Pumayag ako with hesitation. Pero napansin ko naman nang nagbago siya during pandemic. If magagalit siya (well at least sakin), di na katulad nang dati.

Things got better. Pero nawalan ako ng motivation pa onti onti with my studies. Mas napaglaanan ko ng time yung pagiging fit ko, paglinis ng bahay, and pag-alaga ng mga halaman.

Tapos I think nakadagdag pa nung time na malapit nang mag-retire si daddy. Parinig nang parinig yung isa na mawawalan na ng pera si daddy, magkano lang yung pension (since private), etc. I looked for a job privately and yay buti may nahanap naman after a few months haha. Nung nagkaroon na ako ng start date, tsaka lang ako nagsabi sa isang kuya ko and sa gf niya na may trabaho na ako. Pero tago pa rin sa ibang tao. Takot kasi ako na pagalitan na di ko tinapos pag-aaral ko tapos naghanap na ako ng trabaho, lalo na kay daddy. Kahit naman nagbago siya, andun pa rin naman yung trauma haha. Pero idk hahaha nalaman din niya eventually months after hahaha. Advice lang niya sakin na tapusin ko eventually pag-aaral ko para ma-promote ako.

I still have a lot of unhealed trauma na nadadala ko rin talaga sa relationships ko. Yung pagiging anxious ko, yung pag-stay ko kahit deep inside alam ko na hindi na tama yung nangyayari, pagiging over giving ko, mas mahal ko yung partner ko to the point na hindi ko mahal and nirerespeto sarili ko, yung pag-iisip ko na kaya nila magbago or mas nakikita or naniniwala ako sa potential, etc

Nakaka-disappoint lang siguro. I always want and do the best I can to support kung sino man partner ko. Pero why can't they do the same pag ako yung nangangailan ng support, pag ako yung nahihirapan, pag di ko kinakaya yung mga bagay-bagay, pag feeling ko pasan pasan ko yung mundo. I don't ask for grand gestures. I rarely or even never ask for flowers (sinasabi ko naman na if ever, gusto ko yung actual halaman para matagal mabubuhay), dining in expensive restaurants (kung gusto ko, gusto ko ako yung gagastos or 50/50), or other things na makikita sa social media.

I was forced to have a provider mindset. I was forced to be the masculine one. The only time I took a leave was when we went to Baguio and this one time na hmm hahah. Kasi kahit na lumaki sahod ko, I have bills to pay, I have to manage our meals, may mga kailangang i-repair sa bahay, yung maintenance ng kotse, etc. Kung hindi ako magpplano, walang mangyayari. He never planned things. Ako palagi. Where we'll stay, how to go there, magkano gas and toll, activities we can do, etc. His only ambag was to be the driver, and siya tagaluto and tagahugas. Yung alternative routes, ako pa rin nag-iisip at nag-dedecide. Ako nagbabayad ng accom. The only time na nag-decide ako na 50/50 kami was nung sa Baguio kasi hindi ko kaya yung loss sa side ko masyado.

Tbh, kaya naman ako nag-decide tumira sa bulacan kasi I wanted to get away. Andami kasi talagang lumalabas sa bibig nung isa. And also para mabawasan yung binabayaran ni daddy. Akala ko kaya ko. Iba pala talaga when you have to fully pay stuff on your own and manage shit. When he decided to move in with me, na tbh I wasn't really 100% onboard with it, I had to adjust na naman. Though we were just two people who wanted to get away from family shit.

Mali ko na I wasn't brave enough to have a talk with him on how we'll do things. Yung hatian sa expenses, sa chores, etc. But I mean, expected ko naman at least na there will be initiative on his part. Siya yung lalaki eh. But okay, mas malaki sahod ko. I couldn't say no and gets ko naman na he still wants to give sa family niya. Hindi naman kami kasal. Panganay pa siya.

I really tried to understand him. Yung pagod niya sa byahe, may sideline pa siya, the only days na dapat pahinga niya siya yung nagluluto and naghuhugas, yun din yung days na pwede siyang mag-gym. Cramped naman din talaga sched niya. And supposedly, hayahay buhay ko since full wfh ako. Kaya ang dami kong inako.

I guess I overestimated our capacity to work things out. Parehas kaming pagod. Ang bigat ng mental load ko for managing the household. Wala akong maayos na tulog (night shift ako). Nag-seep na physically yung pagod ko mentally. I really didn't have the energy to do things. I just forced myself to get up and work kasi kailangan ko ng pera so we can sustain our lives.

Tbh yung "tulong" lang na gusto ko sa kanya is to help maintain na hindi makalat yung paligid. Guess that's still too much for him. Okay na sakin na mas malaki ambag ko financially pero pati ba naman sa chores, mas malaki pa rin ambag ko? Kung gusto niya ng traditional partner na ako lahat sa gawaing bahay, he should be able to provide for the two of us. Pero no. We both work.

He doesn't know the trauma I carry dahil sa pamilya ko. Though I guess gets ko naman na anyone na outsider and anyone who doesn't know what happened will view me na bastos. Pero hindi ba dapat kampihan naman niya ako and alamin niya bakit ganun reaction ko or bakit ganun treatment ko sa family ko, lalo na sa nanay ko. Kasi pag siya nagkwkwento ng mga past trauma niya, siya palagi kinakampihan ko. Wala akong pake sa side ng ibang tao. If he felt shit, siya yung susuportahan ko.

Anyway, I don't know how to end this. I guess healing isn't really linear. There are days na okay ako, there are days na nag-rerelapse ako.

please

napapansin ko lately sa sarili ko na nawawalan ako bigla ng gana tas bigla akong napapagod, kahit wala naman akong ginagawa. kapag matutulog naman ako ng hapon—tas pag gising, andun pa rin ‘yung pagod ko. then, bigla akong naiiyak—but napipigilan ko naman, idk why. ganon palagi ‘yung nararamdaman ko, hanggang sa lamunin nalang ako ng suicidal thoughts ko.

I feel like i have contamination ocd (or ocd in general). Whenever i touch something that i think is dirty, i can physically feel it in my skin even if there’s nothing on it UNLESS i spray alcohol or wash my hands (sometimes i do both at the same time). If i cant sanitize because im out or some other reason, i will feel it for a long time and i will keep thinking about it. At one point i tried to count how many times i wash my hands in a day, but i had to stop counting when i reached 7 because it hadn’t even been half of the day at that point yet.

Recently i’ve started taking my phone case off when i get home and spraying my phone with alcohol before i can use it again. Ive also started spraying alcohol on the toilet seat and on my skin every after use.

But my question is… is it really contamination ocd if there are other “dirty” or carefree things i do? Like, sometimes i’ll touch my food without washing my hands first or i don’t care if my makeup brushes are dirty even if i use them on my face. I guess i just feel like a fraud because my ocd feels selective hahaha

I am planning to seek medical advice soon but i just havent had the time due to school so i was hoping to hear some insights from those who might have experiences or thoughts about it in the meantime.

Hi! Does anyone know a good psychologist or mental health professional you could recommend? It’s for my sister. She’s been going through a lot lately, especially with financial problems and struggles with decision-making. She doesn’t really open up to us about what she’s going through, so we thought it might help for her to talk to a professional who can better understand and support her. Any recommendations and information (i.e how much) would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! 🥹

Kayo din ba ma pag may pinagdadaanan kayo sobra kayong sinasipag at ang daming nagagawa like medyo nabawasan nayung problema ko nowdays pero nung naaalala ko mga past months na down na down ako ang dami kong nagawa para akong ibang tao.

Im currently a first year college student and we have the option to transfer kung saan section next sem. nag dadalawang isip ako kasi may friend group na sya at mga dati nyang kakaklase nung shs sya, ako naman wala gaanong kakilala dito. and ung nasa isip ko naman if sa section na lilipatan nya pang hapon, ako naman prefer ko pang umaga para makauwi agad. pero ok naman ako sa pang hapon since pala puyat naman ako... idkkk ang hirap natatakot lang ako mag left out kung sumama ako sakanya. im an introvert pala and. i dont socialize well huhu. any advice? respect my post :>

Hello taga Caloocan po ako. May pinagdadaanang mabigat. Gusto ko sumigaw, yung sigaw na mapapaos ako. Gusto ko sumigaw tsaka humagulgol. Baka may alam po kayo hehe

Hi, I have not been functioning well this few weeks guys, and I don't know kung ano talaga nafefeel ko parang ang empty lang ng nararamdaman ko and I'm blaming myself sometimes na na fall out yung love kasi because of me parang wala na ako ginagawang tama sa mundo na to

My mother says it will bring shame on the family, that people at the goverment office know her.

Good day, everyone! 😊

We are currently conducting a research study entitled:

“The Lived Experiences of Siblings of Individuals with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): A Phenomenological Study.”

We are looking for individuals who:

‣ are 18 years old or older;

‣ have a sibling diagnosed with ADHD; and

‣ are currently residing in the Philippines.

If you meet the criteria and are willing to share your experiences, we’d be happy to have you participate in our study. I will send you a PM if you're interested.

Participants who qualify and take part in the study will also receive a token of appreciation for their time and participation. 😊

Thank you, and we hope to hear from you! 💙

hello po. I have a loved one that volunteered but the photos from inside the BOH paranaque looks so sad, even if it’s supposed to make me feel better about my loved one “healing”. parang hostage picture lang -_-

to those with experience there, can you please share your thoughts? I think I may just take my loved one and be their person until they heal. everyone else around me thinks ”okay lang naman siya” when obviously my loved one is suffering.

Hi! Ask ko lang if may alam kayong cleaning services na medyo mura lang. Hndi ako nakatira sa condo, small studio apartment lang. If may alam kayong na-try nyo na and sana 'di judgemental kasi sobrang dumi na makalat na talaga. I really need help to clean my apartment kasi for months na akong in a depressed state na wala na talaga akong energy to clean. All I can really do is sleep and work. Thank you!

By definition Empathy is the ability to understand, share, and connect with another person's thoughts, feelings, or emotional experiences. It is often described as putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

But is it empathy if I say something unconsciously that would be considered rude but I don’t feel bad about it until someone “calls me out” and tell me what I say is rude, I have a hard time distinguishing what is rude and and what is normal (to me it sounds normal until someone says it’s not). Is it empathy if I only feel back after when someone calls it out? If someone didn’t say something I wouldn’t know it was offensive nor would I feel anything. When someone brings it up later I tend to think about it a lot and replay the situation in Mr head over and over again, I feel bad but not because I know what I did (as I said if no one called me out I wouldn’t be aware I did anything wrong) I feel bad because of the way I may be perceived or because I think that what they say did is beneath me. I feel bad because they seem to be highly offended and I tend to accepted blame regardless of if I care or not. I’m in a situation like this now. I was just wondering if feeling “guilty” after the situation is the same as being empathetic because from where I’m standing my empathy seems to be delayed. Why don’t I know how my words will land before I say them? Why can’t I tell the difference between when I say something rude and normal? Any advice would be appreciated and I’d love to know your opinion.

has anyone ever tried the comprehensive psychological assessment at DFS Consulting? how was your experience and how much did you pay?