I just lost my partner, because of depression. No, she didn't die. She left me because of my depression.

As someone who has had his bouts with depression all throughout his 30 years of life, I'm in a much better place now, but I don't think the thought ever goes away. We've been together for 5+ years and she knew about my depression from the start, but she called it off, saying she was waiting on me from the start.

In our final moments, she was told by her friends that she can't be my therapist. I never asked her to be and I wasn't going through my said "bouts" that time. She said she was waiting, but I didn't exactly say on what. To change? To get better? I made improvements already, but suddenly she can't accept that there's this part of me that I have to live with.

If anyone is reading this, please love all the parts of your partner, not just the good ones, but also the bad ones.

Hi I been diagnosed with Panic and anxiety disorder for 3 1/2 months now. I currently on meds too (mirtazapine).
So yun nga yung since first time ko, wala akong idea anong mamgyayare sa session na to. Then nagstart na she introduces herself, then nag ask sya bakit nangyayare to anong nangyare prio my first ever panic episode then kelan naulit, ano din nang yayare before ako masugod sa hospital which is 3 times na since I was diagnosed. Sinabi ko yung mga dahilan then after sabi nya nasa cycle daw ako ng avoidance need ko daw i challenge yung sarili ko kasi kung ang goal ko is ma off meds someday I should deal with my thoughts and para hindi na sya magappear or malessen ang mga physical symptoms and she thought me the breathing and some exercise na makakdistract sakin if I am having a panic attacks. Then ayun na yun. Dapat ba na ganun lang? I was thinking kasi na hahalungkatin nya ang mga hidden traumas or iiyak ako to her pero walang ganun and the things that he thought me nabasa ko na yun? Did I expect too much or baka know it all lang ako? Like after the session I was like yun na yun? I dont know. Can someone help me if ano ba talaga dapat ang ineexpect from a psychologist consult?

Almost everything has ties talaga sa unresolved/unhealed childhood/family trauma pala talaga haha

Siguro yung hiniling ko dati, magkaroon ng partner na tulad ni daddy. In fair, lahat naman ng mga naging ex ko, masarap magluto, which is one of the things na gusto ko kay daddy. Ayaw ko sa lalaking di marunong sa gawaing bahay. Marunong din naman sila pero 😅

Kahapon tinanong ako, bakit ako nahihiya humingi ng pera o ambag. Di ko masagot. Ngayon ko naisip, habang patanda ako nang patanda, mas nahihiya ako humingi o humiram ng pera.

Siguro na-instill sa utak ko masyado na habang nakatira ako sa pamamahay nila, sila masusunod. I mean, ganun naman talaga. Pero nasasakal kasi ako haha. So parang tinatak ko sa utak ko na i'll make it on my own para makaalis. Hindi ako hihingi ng tulong sa kanila. I've always wanted to run away. I think 3 years old pa lang ako when it started. Pero di natutuloy haha. Then high school came, this time, I started to have s* thoughts. Puro plan lang naman, never did anything to harm myself.

But I'm literally only alive or made it through dahil sa mga kabarkada ko. I guess what made me set aside those plans and thoughts was when an ex-friend (another story for another time 😂) almost did it. Grabe yung naramdaman ko that time. Yung iyak ko, yung kaba ko. Ilang beses ko tinry i-reach out after receiving her "last" message. Gusto kong lumabas para hanapin siya pero alam kong di ako papayagan kasi late night na nun. I think hours after, I finally got ahold of her and kumalma lang ako when I knew na nasa church siya and she was still alive. I didn't want my friends to experience what I went through so ayun.

Pandemic was so hard for me, it was my worst nightmare. Nakakahinga na nga lang ako pag nasa labas ako ng bahay tapos nawala bigla yung "freedom" ko. Sobrang nahirapan ako mag-adjust. Kung anu-ano pa sinasabi sa bahay kasi tanghali na ako gumigising or lumalabas ng kwarto. Thing is, ayaw ko sila makasama. I mean, with everything that ALL of them did to me, who would actually want to live with them. I was just using them so I could survive.

Umabot sa point na I forced myself to ask for help sa isang prof ko na doctor kasi di na kinakaya ng mental health ko. I was about to leave, pero hinarang ako. The very reason why my mental health was declining yung talagang pumigil sakin. Tapos syempre yung isa kong kuya, sobrang mama's boy. Nung tinatry kong kumawala at medyo natulak ko, pinalo ako ng bote ng tubig sa ulo ko :) i even had to call my prof right then and there para lang maniwala sila na KAILANGAN kong makaalis and di na talaga healthy para sakin yung environment. Nung nakausap lang ng kuya kong mas may utak yung prof ko, tsaka lang ako hinayaan na umalis. I stayed with a friend for a week. Then nahiya na ako so I asked my cousin kung pwede ba sa kanila muna ako.

Fast forward, medyo naging okay, nagkaroon ng konting "usap" then sumama ako pabalik sa bahay. Tapos parang ilang araw o linggo lang ata, lumala na naman mental health ko hahahaha. This time, pinaalam ko na sa daddy ko na aalis na ako. I actually didn't know where i'll go basta gusto ko na umalis. He then offered me na bakit hindi ko na lang siya samahan sa bulacan. Pumayag ako with hesitation. Pero napansin ko naman nang nagbago siya during pandemic. If magagalit siya (well at least sakin), di na katulad nang dati.

Things got better. Pero nawalan ako ng motivation pa onti onti with my studies. Mas napaglaanan ko ng time yung pagiging fit ko, paglinis ng bahay, and pag-alaga ng mga halaman.

Tapos I think nakadagdag pa nung time na malapit nang mag-retire si daddy. Parinig nang parinig yung isa na mawawalan na ng pera si daddy, magkano lang yung pension (since private), etc. I looked for a job privately and yay buti may nahanap naman after a few months haha. Nung nagkaroon na ako ng start date, tsaka lang ako nagsabi sa isang kuya ko and sa gf niya na may trabaho na ako. Pero tago pa rin sa ibang tao. Takot kasi ako na pagalitan na di ko tinapos pag-aaral ko tapos naghanap na ako ng trabaho, lalo na kay daddy. Kahit naman nagbago siya, andun pa rin naman yung trauma haha. Pero idk hahaha nalaman din niya eventually months after hahaha. Advice lang niya sakin na tapusin ko eventually pag-aaral ko para ma-promote ako.

I still have a lot of unhealed trauma na nadadala ko rin talaga sa relationships ko. Yung pagiging anxious ko, yung pag-stay ko kahit deep inside alam ko na hindi na tama yung nangyayari, pagiging over giving ko, mas mahal ko yung partner ko to the point na hindi ko mahal and nirerespeto sarili ko, yung pag-iisip ko na kaya nila magbago or mas nakikita or naniniwala ako sa potential, etc

Nakaka-disappoint lang siguro. I always want and do the best I can to support kung sino man partner ko. Pero why can't they do the same pag ako yung nangangailan ng support, pag ako yung nahihirapan, pag di ko kinakaya yung mga bagay-bagay, pag feeling ko pasan pasan ko yung mundo. I don't ask for grand gestures. I rarely or even never ask for flowers (sinasabi ko naman na if ever, gusto ko yung actual halaman para matagal mabubuhay), dining in expensive restaurants (kung gusto ko, gusto ko ako yung gagastos or 50/50), or other things na makikita sa social media.

I was forced to have a provider mindset. I was forced to be the masculine one. The only time I took a leave was when we went to Baguio and this one time na hmm hahah. Kasi kahit na lumaki sahod ko, I have bills to pay, I have to manage our meals, may mga kailangang i-repair sa bahay, yung maintenance ng kotse, etc. Kung hindi ako magpplano, walang mangyayari. He never planned things. Ako palagi. Where we'll stay, how to go there, magkano gas and toll, activities we can do, etc. His only ambag was to be the driver, and siya tagaluto and tagahugas. Yung alternative routes, ako pa rin nag-iisip at nag-dedecide. Ako nagbabayad ng accom. The only time na nag-decide ako na 50/50 kami was nung sa Baguio kasi hindi ko kaya yung loss sa side ko masyado.

Tbh, kaya naman ako nag-decide tumira sa bulacan kasi I wanted to get away. Andami kasi talagang lumalabas sa bibig nung isa. And also para mabawasan yung binabayaran ni daddy. Akala ko kaya ko. Iba pala talaga when you have to fully pay stuff on your own and manage shit. When he decided to move in with me, na tbh I wasn't really 100% onboard with it, I had to adjust na naman. Though we were just two people who wanted to get away from family shit.

Mali ko na I wasn't brave enough to have a talk with him on how we'll do things. Yung hatian sa expenses, sa chores, etc. But I mean, expected ko naman at least na there will be initiative on his part. Siya yung lalaki eh. But okay, mas malaki sahod ko. I couldn't say no and gets ko naman na he still wants to give sa family niya. Hindi naman kami kasal. Panganay pa siya.

I really tried to understand him. Yung pagod niya sa byahe, may sideline pa siya, the only days na dapat pahinga niya siya yung nagluluto and naghuhugas, yun din yung days na pwede siyang mag-gym. Cramped naman din talaga sched niya. And supposedly, hayahay buhay ko since full wfh ako. Kaya ang dami kong inako.

I guess I overestimated our capacity to work things out. Parehas kaming pagod. Ang bigat ng mental load ko for managing the household. Wala akong maayos na tulog (night shift ako). Nag-seep na physically yung pagod ko mentally. I really didn't have the energy to do things. I just forced myself to get up and work kasi kailangan ko ng pera so we can sustain our lives.

Tbh yung "tulong" lang na gusto ko sa kanya is to help maintain na hindi makalat yung paligid. Guess that's still too much for him. Okay na sakin na mas malaki ambag ko financially pero pati ba naman sa chores, mas malaki pa rin ambag ko? Kung gusto niya ng traditional partner na ako lahat sa gawaing bahay, he should be able to provide for the two of us. Pero no. We both work.

He doesn't know the trauma I carry dahil sa pamilya ko. Though I guess gets ko naman na anyone na outsider and anyone who doesn't know what happened will view me na bastos. Pero hindi ba dapat kampihan naman niya ako and alamin niya bakit ganun reaction ko or bakit ganun treatment ko sa family ko, lalo na sa nanay ko. Kasi pag siya nagkwkwento ng mga past trauma niya, siya palagi kinakampihan ko. Wala akong pake sa side ng ibang tao. If he felt shit, siya yung susuportahan ko.

Anyway, I don't know how to end this. I guess healing isn't really linear. There are days na okay ako, there are days na nag-rerelapse ako.

Lately, I feel like I’ve been distancing myself from certain friends. They are really good friends and as much as I want to be there for them, sometimes it’s so draining to hear them rant for hours. I’ll accommodate them as best as I could and maybe I’ll last for the first hour, but beyond that is making me feel uncomfortable.

I feel bad because I know at some point I was like that and I know I was draining back then too. I understood it when others don’t have the mental space for a rant so I always ask beforehand or give warning. But I just feel like a hypocrite and guilty for not having enough mental capacity to listen as much as they need to.

i really don’t know how to live anymore. gustong-gusto ko na lang matapos ang lahat, gustong-gusto ko na : (( nasasaktan na akong sobra, hindi ko na alam gagawin, ang alam ko lang, ayoko na.

life’s been so harsh ever since my lola left this april. can i just stay by her side, ayoko na rito, pagod na pagod na ako, nasasaktan na akong sobra.

Hi! Ask ko lang if may alam kayong cleaning services na medyo mura lang. Hndi ako nakatira sa condo, small studio apartment lang. If may alam kayong na-try nyo na and sana 'di judgemental kasi sobrang dumi na makalat na talaga. I really need help to clean my apartment kasi for months na akong in a depressed state na wala na talaga akong energy to clean. All I can really do is sleep and work. Thank you!

please

i'm glad i found this subreddit so i can vent about these things but it still makes me sad because why don't i have anyone to talk to about the random little things, much less the big and scary ones

but even if i did have someone feeling ko i wouldn't be a good option to have so i just stopped trying altogether

i feel like i'm just here but not really. it feels like nothing and everything at the same time. and it doesn't seem to work or matter even when i do try. do you also feel like this? how do you get out of it? who do you tell?

I don’t think anyone truly understands how hard it is to simply function as a human being. The amount of mental gymnastics I have to go through just to complete the simplest tasks is exhausting.

By definition Empathy is the ability to understand, share, and connect with another person's thoughts, feelings, or emotional experiences. It is often described as putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

But is it empathy if I say something unconsciously that would be considered rude but I don’t feel bad about it until someone “calls me out” and tell me what I say is rude, I have a hard time distinguishing what is rude and and what is normal (to me it sounds normal until someone says it’s not). Is it empathy if I only feel back after when someone calls it out? If someone didn’t say something I wouldn’t know it was offensive nor would I feel anything. When someone brings it up later I tend to think about it a lot and replay the situation in Mr head over and over again, I feel bad but not because I know what I did (as I said if no one called me out I wouldn’t be aware I did anything wrong) I feel bad because of the way I may be perceived or because I think that what they say did is beneath me. I feel bad because they seem to be highly offended and I tend to accepted blame regardless of if I care or not. I’m in a situation like this now. I was just wondering if feeling “guilty” after the situation is the same as being empathetic because from where I’m standing my empathy seems to be delayed. Why don’t I know how my words will land before I say them? Why can’t I tell the difference between when I say something rude and normal? Any advice would be appreciated and I’d love to know your opinion.

has anyone ever tried the comprehensive psychological assessment at DFS Consulting? how was your experience and how much did you pay?

Most of us are depressed and I'm diagnosed with depression. I dunno if I'm just lazy bc most of my time, it consumes me thinking of if I'm still worthy to live. Months have passed and I'm still stuck here. I read and received motivational words from people but it seems like I have no reason to look forward to life.

Hello! Have you ever felt like you are now behind life? Any life decisions you regret? You have no one to talk to that's immediate?

Do you know any support groups for this? Or perhaps if any of you can relate, we can make a support group for people who have the same feeling or at least in that same stage of life and is willing to share your perspective.

Iba rin kase if you can talk to someone who is experiencing the same things as you do. It makes it much more lighter and you can pick up perspectives/help along the way din.

To also feel na you're not alone in feeling this rin.

I feel like i have contamination ocd (or ocd in general). Whenever i touch something that i think is dirty, i can physically feel it in my skin even if there’s nothing on it UNLESS i spray alcohol or wash my hands (sometimes i do both at the same time). If i cant sanitize because im out or some other reason, i will feel it for a long time and i will keep thinking about it. At one point i tried to count how many times i wash my hands in a day, but i had to stop counting when i reached 7 because it hadn’t even been half of the day at that point yet.

Recently i’ve started taking my phone case off when i get home and spraying my phone with alcohol before i can use it again. Ive also started spraying alcohol on the toilet seat and on my skin every after use.

But my question is… is it really contamination ocd if there are other “dirty” or carefree things i do? Like, sometimes i’ll touch my food without washing my hands first or i don’t care if my makeup brushes are dirty even if i use them on my face. I guess i just feel like a fraud because my ocd feels selective hahaha

I am planning to seek medical advice soon but i just havent had the time due to school so i was hoping to hear some insights from those who might have experiences or thoughts about it in the meantime.

Hi! Does anyone know a good psychologist or mental health professional you could recommend? It’s for my sister. She’s been going through a lot lately, especially with financial problems and struggles with decision-making. She doesn’t really open up to us about what she’s going through, so we thought it might help for her to talk to a professional who can better understand and support her. Any recommendations and information (i.e how much) would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! 🥹

napapansin ko lately sa sarili ko na nawawalan ako bigla ng gana tas bigla akong napapagod, kahit wala naman akong ginagawa. kapag matutulog naman ako ng hapon—tas pag gising, andun pa rin ‘yung pagod ko. then, bigla akong naiiyak—but napipigilan ko naman, idk why. ganon palagi ‘yung nararamdaman ko, hanggang sa lamunin nalang ako ng suicidal thoughts ko.

I recently got out of a relationship and I have so much guilt right now. I feel like my friends are tired of me venting about my ex and I badly need someone to talk to. The relationship was emotionally exhausting and I feel so shitty.

Hello! For those po na nag-consult sa NowServing app, ilang consultation po bago kayo nabigyan ng reseta or na-diagnose? How much po nagastos niyo every session? Can you also recommend a reliable doctor po?

Hi! tomorrow na po yung appointment ko (set from july 2025 hehe) ask ko lang po what to expect with the process aside sa possibility na mahaba ang pila?
Thank you!

Parang I need it to help with my clinical depression. 2 weeks na ako hindi nakakapag linis ng house at hindi nakakapag hugas ng pinggan (don't judge me pls) ang hirap mabuhay mag isa 🥺

What to do sb therepy ke paise nhi ho and there r so many things to talk and discuss about my mind mental health

Long story short, lived abroad with wife and child for a few years, struggled financially and emotionally. They eventually had to go back to PH for various reasons. I stayed behind for work. Wife then suddenly wanted to cut me out of her life as I was too toxic, and the feeling goes both ways but I still love her and wanted to fight for my family and change for the better. All the while my dad was fighting cancer. Lost the battle couple months ago.

Struggling financially still. Unloved. And now fatherless. Went a year living alone (still am) in that span swallowing everything by myself. No friends (least of my concern). Just working, eating, and sleeping. But dunno if I can handle it anymore. Not brave enough to unalive myself, afraid of pain and being damned to hell. Chose to live for my family, but wife has no feelings for me anymore and I can understand why. She’s a good person who I don’t deserve that I wanted to give the world to, but failed miserably cause I’m a worthless selfish prick. Insurance will cover the money I would’ve earned for my kid’s future. But then I thought about my mom, seeing as my dad already went ahead of her how could I even leave her behind as well.

I want to end it. Pain is becoming unbearable and of no help to anybody, but I can’t cause I’m a fcking pussy and hurts even more to think about the pain they would feel. I’m also afraid of failing the attempt as doing so would fck up my life even more. The fck am I supposed to do. If words and sentences are all over the place it’s cause my head is, too. Am I fcked or am I fcked?