I’m 20 years old, female. I dropped out of college my first year which destroyed what little self esteem I had left at the time. I started working at my current job after that. I like my job (most of the time) and I like most of my coworkers. I have my own apartment, I have hobbies I enjoy. Everything’s been going well.

Today when I woke up, the one thought that kept repeating in my head was “I need to die” (or other variations of the same thing). When I parked at my designated parking spot, I kept looking at the parking garage across the street. The first four hours of my shift, I kept looking at it- telling myself I was going to die there today.

During my break (10:30am), I left all of my stuff and went to the top floor of the parking garage. I wasn’t scared, actually I didn’t feel anything at all. What stopped me was that I couldn’t find a spot to be able to pull myself over the wall. And the one spot that I could have climbed on, was right by guest parking meaning there were way too many people around.

When I got back to work, it took about 30 minutes to realize what I almost did. I panicked but I couldn’t tell anyone what happened. Not my coworkers, not my boss, not even my uncle who I work with. I’ve felt fine the rest of the time. I worked the remaining time like nothing happened. It didn’t bother me that I was laughing and talking with my coworkers like normal.

I stopped taking medication almost an entire year ago. I was in therapy for PTSD but had made enough progress to be discharged. I’m alone on this until I can get in to a mental health clinic again.

So what now? I haven’t had a suicide attempt (or near) since I was 17. I don’t even know what to do. I’m an adult now I’m supposed to be able to handle it.

What can I do to make sure I don’t come close to attempting again? How do you deal with suicidal ideation at work? Is this something I can even mention to my boss? Any advice would be appreciated.

I started a lawn care/property maintenance business straight out of high school in a small tourist town. Two years in, I’ve got about 90 recurring clients, mostly absentee holiday-home owners.

Numbers:

• Last financial year (to March 2026): ~$57k revenue, ~$37k profit
• April–Sept 2026: ~$35k ex-GST, and that’s mostly winter
• Peak season is starting now and October is already well booked - going to do over 15k this month.
• Company structure, GST registered

The situation:
I’m starting uni at the end of February. I listed the business, and a buyer has offered $30k for the client base and goodwill based on last year’s numbers. I think it’s worth closer to $50k given how it’s grown, and I’ve proposed $35k upfront plus up to $15k based on client retention after six months.

I'm a little bit torn as I'm over the work and want to pursue other passions in my life, but feel drained from working all the time. On the other side, I feel as though this could be a massive financial upside that could set me up really well for my later years in life.

Option A – Sell: Take roughly $30–50k, have a clean break and focus on uni.

Option B – Keep it: Hire a team lead (about $30/hr as a subcontractor plus a ~$5k end-of-season bonus) to run the work while I’m studying, and manage the business side remotely. I’m honestly keen to see how far it can go without me on the tools. My dad thinks it’s a bad idea.

Questions:

1. Is $30k fair for a business like this, or am I right that it’s worth more?
2. Has anyone run a service business remotely with a team lead while studying or working another job? What went wrong?
3. What would you do in my position?

TIA

Hello, so basically what I'm looking for is if it's normal or alright to decide to not look for a relationship and get away from it for a while.

For context, I'm someone that would love nothing more than to be in a relationship but I don't have a good history with it (all my relationships has ended horribly)

But for a while, I have taken a mindset that I'm not ready for a relationship and I can't right now and want to focus on myself.

It feels weird to be honest, but I have found some peace in it, but I always have the fear of I might be missing out or that I might miss my chance and would regret it later.

I'm not sure if I made scene or not, but would like some advice.

Bit of context.

I’ve known him for 11 ish years. Not extremely close but always had chats eg.

We started talking 3 months ago and started seeing each other 7-8 weeks ago. And see each other a lot.

And I feel very attached and very into him. I feel like I’m kinda falling for him. But that feels wild. So I’m really stuck on it. We aren’t official but just seeing each other basically. We both want relationships and that feels like the next step but idk if it’s normal to feel like your inlove with someone that quickly ?

He’s just amazing, kind, fun and makes me feel safe and so happy. I had a 7 year relationship and it’s probably horrible to say but I never felt this content and seen ever in that relationship as I do with him.

He kinda feels like he could be my person.

I’m a guy in my late twenties who recently left his job because of how incredibly unhappy I was. I’m at a point where I want to restart my life, figure out what I actually want, and give myself another shot at being happy.

But before jumping straight into another job and falling back into the same routine, I want to do something special with this time. Something memorable that I’ll look back on years from now and be glad I did. I have some savings, some time, and a desire to experience something different before starting the next chapter of my life.

The problem is that I have no idea what that something should be.

I’ve considered Workaway, particularly farm stays where you help out in exchange for accommodation. The idea of living somewhere peaceful, working with animals, being outdoors, and having a simple daily routine genuinely appeals to me. It sounds like a good opportunity to disconnect from everything and reconnect with myself.

However, finding a trustworthy host, figuring out the logistics, and putting myself in an unfamiliar environment with strangers feels quite intimidating. I’ve never done anything like that before.

I’ve also considered travelling around Europe. I’m from Asia, and I’d love to experience more of the world. I’ve travelled solo before, but honestly, I never really enjoyed it as much as I hoped. I struggled to enjoy myself in unfamiliar places, and the constant movement never felt particularly fulfilling. The idea of changing accommodation every couple of days while backpacking doesn’t appeal to me either.

That said, I wonder whether spending a month or two somewhere beautiful, staying in one place, building a routine, meeting people, and experiencing ordinary life in another country might be completely different.

Maybe a small farm in the countryside, a coastal town, a mountain village, or somewhere I could volunteer and feel part of a community. Somewhere I could slow down without feeling like I need to be sightseeing or making the most of every second.

I’m open to other ideas, too. It doesn’t necessarily have to involve travelling abroad. I just want to do something outside my usual comfort zone that feels meaningful and gives me a story to tell myself when I’m older.

**Has anyone here been in a similar situation?** Have you ever left a job, taken a break from your usual life, and done something that genuinely changed your perspective? What did you do, where did you go, and was it worth it?

I’d especially love to hear from people who aren’t naturally adventurous, who struggle with uncertainty, or who found solo travel difficult but eventually discovered an experience that worked for them.

I’m feeling a little lost at the moment, and I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Maybe someone else’s story will give me an idea I haven’t considered yet.

Thank you in advance

Hi everyone! How are you? I could really use some advice. I haven't been diagnosed, but I suspect I might have ROCD or something similar, and honestly, it’s really taking a toll on me. It all started back in June when I joined one of those anonymous chat sites, you know? I ended up talking to a guy my age. He was nice, so the conversation flowed well, but at one point, he asked me—in a suggestive way—what I was doing there, and I felt a physical, sexual reaction. I told him I was just there to chat and things like that. Overall, I think our interaction was normal. I only felt that same arousal during another playful comment he made, but I don't recall responding flirtatiously or anything like that. I treated him like a friend. Later, he explicitly said he was hitting on me, and I didn't think twice before leaving the chat. The problem is, my mind keeps insisting that I was enjoying it and that, somehow, I was reciprocating his advances. This makes me feel terrible at the thought that I might have cheated on my girlfriend. I should add that, at first, I was worried about having been too friendly with him. Once I managed to accept that, my anxiety shifted to the fact that I kept the conversation going instead of leaving the moment he said something weird. Now, I’m questioning whether I was actually enjoying the interaction. Anyway, I’m afraid that if I simply ignore these thoughts, I might end up sweeping a potential act of cheating under the rug. I wouldn't think it’s fair for my girlfriend to be with someone who cheated on her. I’d really appreciate some advice. I don't know if I have real grounds to believe I did something wrong or if I'm just suffering from anxiety over an interaction that happened a few months ago. I’m tired of constantly questioning everything, and I’d like to be able to handle this in a healthier way.

I just blocked my best friend since 7 years old (14yrs) on all forms of contact today. We were always really close and we were two peas in a pod. If someone knew me they knew her, vice versa. We both came from traumatic homes in different ways. Her parents were very emotional abusive towards her. I gave her a lot of grace for this because I know what its like in my own way. Trauma makes people do things and react in ways they dont nessacarily want to. She was a great friend. I had a job and a car at 16 so we would go and do everything together. Every birthday and holiday we spent with each other. I was always a phone call away and she knew that and would always call me when things went bad at home or someone was making fun of her. When we went to a vocational school together our junior year, she met a boy. This kid was terrible to her. Said nasty shit to her, was hot and cold with her, had her act like his girlfriend but wouldnt date her, he would make fun of her when they weren't on speaking terms, and later on started to hit her when he found her annoying. It hurt really bad to see this because I just wanted her to be happy so i had some altercations with him. He didnt like me obviously. He would make fun of me and tell me I should kill myself. (I skipped a lot of school because of depression so it was known i had those issues) i would say things back to stand up for myself but shed get angry because then he wouldnt talk to her. Fast forward to graduation she ends up inviting him to a party. Next time we hang out she was very short and irritable with me. I knew she was talking to him again then she told me he wanted to date her. I hated the way she treated me when she was with him and how shed change herself to best fit what he liked. Probably wasnt the most mature way but I basically told her I didnt want to be her friend if she dated him so we weren't. ​i had wrote her a 3 page front and back letter to say I didnt hate her, i still loved her, and I will always be grateful for our friendship. She typed me up a 1 paragraph letter saying she doesnt understand why I cant be happy for her and said she was the happiest she ever been. Few months later he put his hands on her n left her with a welt on the side of her head. He broke up with her over text n she messaged me saying she needed her best friend. I came to visit her n it wasnt back to normal at first but we got back to the way we were. I deeply regret not being there for her when he put his hands on her. We were great for the next almost 3 yrs. I had a fiance but nothing changed. I still drove to see her 3 to 6 days a week. Id take her with me n my fiance so I made sure I still got to spend time with her. I still remained one phone call away. Her home life was terrible she was constantly verbally attacked and belittled. She ends up playing games with an older guy n I noticed she started to get that infatuation. We would hang out n if he was online id have to get her home as soon as possible. Then one day I come up and she tells me shes talking to someone new. After 2 weeks I hear her saying I love you to him. I started to get that feeling in my stomach that I had when she was with the first guy. She tells me hes 19 and goes to college and lives 3 hours away. She goes to meet him after a month on what I later found out was his 18th birthday. She told me she left when she was already there. I told her if anything happened I drive to her no problem. She goes up 2 more times and on the 3rd time she stays with his family. They immediately wanted her to move in so after 3 months she did. I was sad but I couldnt blame her for wanting to leave her home. I drive down for the weekend to help move some of her stuff. I stay at a hotel with my fiance and they come over n I bought food for everyone. I had also got some wine coolers because I figured hes 19 and in college hes definitely drink before. I found out later on its the first time he drank. Now I shouldve never drink with friends and smoked weed staying at a hotel. This was very irresponsible of me. Im at fault for this incident and I know, but i wouldnt have provided alcohol for a highschooler. I was cross faded and asked if her n her bf wanted to get the food. They go to the front door and are holding it open because they wouldnt have anyway to come ​back in. The owner of the hotel asked who they were and where they were staying and immediately her bf starts to get ignorant and which she does too. My fiance finds them apologizes and they come back. I go down to pay for then to stay that night because I originally got 1 bed but they gave me a room with 2 and so my friend said they were gonna stay. I apologize to the owner and pay the extra 50 dollars. I was in the wrong no doubt I just didnt understand why she had to lie to me about his age and be ignorant towards the owner thats just doing his job and trying to make sure everyone's safe. It was definitely weird after i found he was 18 and was in high school. She stopped looking at my messages and would talk to me every few months. She kept conversations short and never asked me about me since she moved. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells or else she just snap at me for little stuff. She had me drive to the dispensary ordered 80 dollars worth of stuff, said shed pay me back and never did. She had never lied to me or not given me money for weed before. She came back home to visit and she stayed up her bfs ass the whole time and ignored me. He'd make jokes trying to be funny but just seem like insults with laughs followed behind. I ended up leaving early bc I was so uncomfortable. Shed call me every now and then to tell me how his family was mean to her or her family or some stranger. She always had to be the victim. My birthday came around and after 4 days no message. I asked why someone who has spent every birthday with me since I was 12 couldnt take a couple seconds to wish me a Happy Birthday? I wonder if I was being dramatic over that or if it was more than just a happy birthday. I ended up messaging her saying if our relationship didnt change we would end up losing our friendship or not liking each other. I told her I wasnt mad that I didnt hate her and I wasnt trying to attack her. I told her I dont think she realizes how different she is when in a relationship. She didnt like this at all. For the next hour I was trying to talk to her and be patient while she just called me horrible names. She acted like she didnt know my fiance when she had hung out with him several times. Told me she never could trust me thats why she lied. Told me his family was never mean to her and that thats her new family. (text messages from a few months ago showed differently) she eventually calmed down and we talked a lil bit like old times. She messaged me saying she sometimes blows up at her bf when she gets mad and she hates that she does it. Idk if this was an indirect apology for the name calling or what but I just wanted my bsf back. She also had said the way I was with her was gay and that she wasnt my girlfriend so I decided id let her message first from know on. She messaged me one other time n silence since. My first dog I had since 12 died in July. It absolutely crushed me. She knew he had died and didnt say a word to me. I had asked my therapist if it was wrong to block her and essentially ghost her. She told me it sounds like she abandoned you first so after a couple months of thinkin on it, I blocked ​her on everything. I feel terrible. Is there things I did wrong? Things I shouldve taken accountability for.? Should I had been there for her in a different way? Could i have done something to change the outcome? Am i terrible person for ghosting her? I dont understand how to deal with this. I had a shitty relationship with my now dead father so losing people isnt new but the pains different when she for the most part was an amazing friend. I was always there for her and she knew that and know she acts like i was abusive towards her. I dont understand and i dont know how to come to peace with it. Has anyone else experience losing your best friend after they got a partner and how'd u cope with it in a way you dont blame yourself?

Throughout my life, I'm used to getting treated unfairly by others. If there's a cake to share and I receive smaller piece than others then it's okay. For example, I don't mind if coworker earns more than me in work. It's only a problem if the salary I get isn't satisfactory for my daily needs.

But then I see assertive people who stand up often to unfair treatments and I wonder whether I should be more like them. It sounds like a lot of work and getting along seems to be a much easier option. It doesn't mean that I never stand up for myself. I have my own boundaries too. It's just that I'm much more tolerant of being treated unfairly compared to other people.

I love foreign languages like crazy and i want to study them further but i am very embarrassed to reveal this passion of mine.
When i ask my friends about what they want to do in the future their answers are law,med school and more serious things and i feel like an idiot saying i want to go abroad. We are all last year of HS (19 years old) and we are about to go to college and i always lied about where i want to go and say something like law school when in reality i want to go far far away like China. I have been secretly studying Chinese for about 4 years and had even taken and passed exams. I was pretty open about it until i got called "cringe" and "immature" and i just stopped talking about it.
Now,when i am about to go to college,i am insecure about this decision even though i would die to study more and more languages.
Anytime they would bring up leaving to study abroad i remained silent and just listened.
Sounds like a very obvious resolving situation but i feel like i am betraying them and we are all very close (group of 4 girls aka my bestfriends)
Does that make me a horrible person?

So for some context i M22 live at home with my parents and 2 siblings M18 and F16. Its very clear that once my younger sister gets situated in college that my parents plan to get a divorce. It sounds harsh but i really dont care the fact that they are splitting up i know they dont love eachother anymore and are just staying together for my sister and brother. Divorce is obviously the best option and we all know it ive talked about it with my siblings a few times. I wont get into which parent is right or wrong but splitting up is for the best.

It also happens that at this point im looking to move out and probably far away (NJ to CO) with some friends who all want to get out of jersey. My parents keep trying to convince me to buy a house near by and saying its the best option but thats not what i want in the slightest. I dont think its the case but i feel like there is a chance that they want another house near by for someone to go when the eventually split and that they want me to be here.

I dont want to abandon them or my siblings cause im worried how it will effect all of them with everything thats already going on and i know me being here would help things but i also really dont want it to slow my life down and take away a chance for me to leave that i cant miss. So back to the question in the title, is it wrong to leave while this is all going on? I dont hold any grudges or hatred towards any of them and of course my doors would be always open to all of them if they needed it. I just dont want them to hold it against me for leaving and cause it to be worse and tenser than it has to be.

Hi everybody. I (m22), have been smoking weed to deal with the plethora of horrific mental issues I haven't gotten diagnosed for (my last therapist literally gaslit me, I now don't trust therapists. Besides the point). I am currently taking a 1 week tolerance break since It takes me about 3 bowls from a bong to get high. It had used to be just one.

I'm here to ask how do I get over the uncomfortable feelings of it? It always makes my anxiety and my anger skyrocket and well, I want to actually stick with it. Any advice? Have you guys done this before? I can provide more details, if wanted

I am 18F in college currently, and i’m enrolled in the ROTC program to become a commission officer straight into the military. But I know for myself and my future it’s just not for me. I understand that when people don’t know what to do for their life, they point towards the military, but it’s not an option for me. I want to know from any older folks what they did in my position. Did you go to college for a degree that you actually use, or would i be able to go into trade school for a nice job to be able to at least make some decent money? My boyfriend right now is training to become a firefighter and keeps urging me that he will provide for us and that I don’t need to worry about working, but I want to at least be able to do something for myself as of right now. Please help!!

If you are thinking this currently, my advice would be: dont talk to them.. The best gift or best reward you can give to someone is space.. Now, I know how bad or cringe it sounds, honestly same was with me.. And my mentor gave this advice, I thought maybe it will work, but I really dont know how to thank them, because by following that advice, I honestly am more relaxed, and more focused towards other work, which I honestly thought never was possible.. If they want to leave, they surely will, and if they want to stay, they surely will, but forcing someone will probably make things bad

I'm a man who's been in a relationship for about two years. I genuinely love my girlfriend, and I've always imagined building a future with her.

Unfortunately, she suddenly moved from Uganda to Kenya for work without informing me beforehand. It's been almost a year since we last saw each other, and lately, I've been questioning where our relationship is heading.

Whenever I suggest visiting her or initiating serious conversations about our relationship and future, she often seems uninterested. I understand that distance and work can be challenging, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying to keep our relationship alive.

Recently, I met another woman who makes time for me, shows me affection, and makes me feel wanted. We've become physically intimate, and I'm beginning to develop genuine feelings for her.

Now I'm torn between the woman I've invested two years of love in and someone who makes me feel appreciated in the present. I don't want to make a decision out of loneliness, but I also don't want to keep holding on to a relationship simply because of our history.

My question is: Should I have one final conversation with my long-distance girlfriend and try to save our relationship, or should I move on and explore the possibility of building something meaningful with the new woman?

I'd appreciate honest advice, especially from people who've experienced something similar.

Hello everyone!

I have known this person for a while and in the beginning, we were not close, did not like each other, and I was not interested as I was still getting over my ex. As time passed by, we got close, went out with other people respectively but slowly started to talk to each other quite often and each time for 2-3 hours. She also started to suggest one-on-one outdoor activities and walks without our mutual friends around

Things became complicated when I started to develop feelings for her. I also felt a spark from her side but due to my personal life problems and timid nature, I couldn’t meet her at that time and didn’t say anything on text. When finally I did, I believe it was too late as she said she doesn’t find me attractive but she still wants to be in contact with me if only I feel fine.

Now, we are in this super weird dynamic where she is quite emotionally vulnerable towards me, talks to me for hours and cares about me. I feel the same for her but in addition I feel physically and romantically attracted too. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but at the same time, I don’t want to hurt myself too so I don’t know what to do. Limit contact with her? Start seeing other people? Or hope that this thing can turn into something more? Not sure if that is possible.

Last thing, she was in an on off relationship before and she just ended that but she still said she isn’t interested in a romantic relationship with me

Hi guys, im 28 y.o instead of doing proper adult life (marriage, family, financial stability, investing, etc), im in big debt (well in my currency, and in my work salary), 80% of my salary only to pay my debt each month, and that 20% already super tight to live and no saving

im full overthink, i feel i can't find another job to help out of this condition, right now i was doing remote job, and i dont think i cant add more office job, since it can sacrifice my current job which also most likely pays more, so i need to find freelance or remote job

even i can say im a graphic designer and have been working for this company as fulltime for 5 years, i cant say my skill was professional enough to apply for another job, even hardly make a portfolio, my naive brain say "oh you are generalist bla bla bla" what is the point of being generalist if you cant prove it, in this condition i also think its too late to make myself "professional", i have trying to look for remote job, either the skill ceilling is high rightnow, or the job market is not good, i dont know, its so hard, makes me want to stop :(

and lastly IM SICK OF VENTING TO AI, i need real person advice, i need to see hope, not from AI

any advice is welcome!

hope everyone doing well!

Life’s problems come one after another, leaving me in a constant state of discouragement. There are times when I have absolutely no idea what to do. What words have helped you navigate the various ups and downs of life?

Hi! I am a post grad…and it’s rough out here. I got my major in Entertainment Management. Which isn’t the issue. I kind of centered so much of my experience in marketing and social media. And…Im really tired of it. I love branding, but I rarely do that stuff. I hate creating content, there’s just so much higher ups want now that I feel sucked out lol. I‘ve also realized a I dont want a sae old 9 to 5 everyday, I liek changes. Which is why the music industry has been good…but doesn't pay much. I‘ve been thinking about going into the travel industry with pr, or even doing visa work for artists and touring. Does anyone know job names that are similar? Or even masters programs that could help me achieve this? Im scared of putting myself in a bubble and then regretting it later. Thank you!

Ok so... there's this girl i see every now and then who works at a grocery store I go to regularly so I see her maybe once a week at least. Im head over heels crazy about her, I want to ask her out or at least ask if she's seeing anyone. The problem is... my life is a complete mess... im 26 and have never been in a relationship, i didn't graduate high school, I dont have a steady job, I dont have a place of my own... im living with my mother who I helped take care of my father and grandfather for years before they both passed from different unrelated illnesses, my father in 2024 and grandfather this past January. Now going back to the girl... i dont even know if she's taken or not, but if she isnt I want to at least take a chance and ask her instead of spending the rest of my life wondering what could've been, but if I did ask her out and she accepted... i dont want her to have to deal with any of my baggage I havent been able to fix yet, if im going to have a chance with her i want to be able to be the best version of myself i can be. But I also dont want to miss the chance while I have it... what if she gets a new job and I dont see her again? What if someone else asks her out before me? There's just so fucking much I feel is working against me and im trying my best to not lose my mind.

I’m a junior in high school, I have been struggling in school. I feel that I'm holding myself back. I do well on tests, quizzes, and projects me, but I can't do anything on time.
The way my school works is that there is a grade-level class, an advanced class, and AP.
(Grade level is below average, and advanced is average.) My state is weird. The grade-level and advanced classes are too boring. I don't feel I'm learning, but the AP classes have a bunch of homework, and for some reason, I can't make myself do it. So, I get bad grades, but not because I don't know the stuff, but because I'm to lazy to get the work done.
This is hard because I feel terrible for doing badly, but I can't get myself to do good. But the weird thing is, I love to learn and make things, but not when I'm told to. For example, I had a project idea a few weeks ago, and I taught myself optimization and integration from YouTube. I already know some of the basics.
I feel like I have so much drive but no way to use it. I would love to be an engineer, then eventually start my own thing or something in that category, but I don't have good enough grades to go to a good school, and I really don't like school, but I like learning. I don't know what to do.
One other thing when I start a project I am really ambitious but most of the time I can't follow through what time I do. My project are pretty cool. But when I don't tollow through, at least It anyone has tips on tocus please help

I know a person who is going through a bad period, struggling with self-harming, low self-esteem, and fear of being alone.

We're not exactly friends, so we don't have a very close relationship, but for some coincidences I was one of the only person that I've saw her in some bad moments, and I saw some cuts and scars.

I genuinely want to help her and support her, but I'm worried about what I can do without looking too intrusive to her.

A few days ago I asked her how she was, her first answer was obviously "fine". So I tried to be a little more pushy, and I said I saw she was going through some difficulties in the last period. She said she was seeing a therapist lately, and that she was a little better. She hugged me and thanked me for asking.

I didn't ask her anything else, because I was afraid of being too intrusive. But now I have a little remorse because maybe she wanted to talk about it more?

How can I be close to her and support her over time, without being intrusive? Should I bring up the topic again, or she might have understood that she can talk to me about it and therefore leave her the freedom to bring up the subject or not?

I don't want her to feel alone handling this, but I also don't want her to feel obliged to talk to me about it

I feel like I’ve been drinking way too much recently, as going out seems to be a big part of my uni experience. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun, but I keep getting myself into weird situations (namely falling down the stairs in front of a girl I was attempting to chat up and then being sick in a paper bag on a two hour coach hungover, where the bag ripped and I was covered in vomit at the airport.) I’ve gotten a bad haircut and don’t feel anything like myself? And I am so busy with part time job/extracurriculars I have no time for actually studying my degree or having wholesome fun. Plus a health issue which is stunting my sex life. Is there any hope? Or do I just feel like this because I’m a young woman.

​

Most of my friends either have girlfriends or find it pretty easy to get with girls. They're much more outgoing than me, and I'm quite shy, especially around girls I'm attracted to.

When we're out together and my friends get attention from girls, I often feel like I'm just standing there watching everyone else experience what I want. I compare myself to them and start thinking they're more attractive, interesting and confident than me.

It's got to the point where I genuinely worry that nobody will ever want me. When I see couples on social media, I wonder whether I'll ever experience that myself. I also struggle with my appearance, particularly in photos. I generally feel better about how I look in the mirror than in pictures, and I don't know how other people see me.

The confusing thing is that I've had experiences that suggest I'm not as hopeless socially as I think. I work outside a bar in a nightlife area, and recently I had a genuinely funny conversation with a girl I thought was stunning. Another girl made a playful comment while asking me to put a sticker on her. I don't know whether either was attracted to me, especially given the environment, but it showed me that when I actually talk to girls, they talk back.

I've also had girls compliment me or approach me, but sometimes I get nervous and don't know how to respond. My friends have told me that girls notice me when we're out, although I don't always notice it myself. One friend also called me "too innocent" during a conversation about girls, which made me feel inexperienced and inferior.

I worry that my friends are more attractive and interesting than me, and that even if a girl liked me, I'd mess things up because I don't know what I'm doing. I've even wondered whether porn could be affecting my ability to connect with girls.

I know being shy doesn't mean I'll be single forever, but emotionally, that's genuinely how it feels. I feel left behind, undesirable and sometimes useless. I want a girlfriend, but I also want to stop feeling inferior to my friends and start believing someone could actually want me.

I'm not looking for empty reassurance. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you build confidence around girls, stop comparing yourself to your friends, and get past the feeling that nobody will ever want you?

Thanks in advance!

I (30F) feel like I am utterly lost. I worked hard in school, graduated with a Bachelors in Computer Science, worked for a bit, got burnt out and took a long career break, moved halfway across the world, pursued another degree, worked as a Product Designer for a bit and am again, unemployed. I will be moving back to my home country soon, and the market for Product Designers is extremely competitive. A part of me has always wanted to pursue a career in science communication but I am afraid of restarting again, because of the fear of being judged or failing.

The career part is an aspect of it. I have wanted to live a purposeful life forever, but somehow, my self-esteem issues, fear to take risks and mental health issues held me back. I dealt with severe anxiety and depression for decades, before finally getting a diagnosis for OCD this year. In hindsight, I can see how it stopped me from living a normal life and frankly the treatment I now receive seems life-changing. Its only now that I see just how much I avoided facing in my life. Several failed relationships, complicated family dynamics and unstable housing also featured in the past few years of my life - simply put, I am overwhelmed.

How do I restart? I would like to rebuild my life to do good and be good. I have some skills which I would like to use for a meaningful cause. Is it too late to rebuild my life?

Thank you once again for your time!

I (28m) started talking to a girl (33f) about two months ago, we instantly hit it off and the connection felt so genuine. She says she loves me and wants a future with me and I truly feel the same. Everything is amazing EXCEPT the fact that she has a boyfriend and they’ve been together for 6 years. She says she is really considering leaving him however she hasn’t even brought up the fact she’s thinking of it to him. Everything is fine as far as her boyfriend knows. I feel guilty about this whole thing. I never expected her to change her entire life overnight for me but I’m uneasy with the fact that she won’t even talk to her boyfriend about the possibility of them ending. Am I getting just dragged along? Or should I wait it out?