hi so I’m a trans man at 17 years old and I have no clue how to come out to my parents. My step-dad is one of those guys that make fun of trans people then swear up and down he’s not transphobic, but my mom is supportiv. So my main issue is my step-dad. How could I handle this?

(I’m a very fem leaning person btw, but I know for a fact that I am not a woman. Believe me I’ve tried)

Hi everybody. I (m22), have been smoking weed to deal with the plethora of horrific mental issues I haven't gotten diagnosed for (my last therapist literally gaslit me, I now don't trust therapists. Besides the point). I am currently taking a 1 week tolerance break since It takes me about 3 bowls from a bong to get high. It had used to be just one.

I'm here to ask how do I get over the uncomfortable feelings of it? It always makes my anxiety and my anger skyrocket and well, I want to actually stick with it. Any advice? Have you guys done this before? I can provide more details, if wanted

I’m a 26 y/o female and just honestly really need a life change. I’m in the middle of a complicated relationship break/breakup and I am just generally not happy with where my life is. I have lived with my parents for years, I’m in debt, and work an awful 8-5 office job 45 min from my house in a room with no windows. I’m depressed, unhappy, and feeling extremely unfulfilled.

I have always been very interested in esthetics and skincare. I am absolutely obsessed with getting facials and massages and watching videos of them online. I think it would be so fun to do that as a job and I’d actually enjoy going to work.

Is it plausible to quit my stable job where I have no opportunity for growth but make almost $23/hr with full benefits to go to esthetician school? My issue is the program has 2 options: Day school: 8am-4pm or Night School: 5-9pm. This is where my issue comes in. I’d have to quit my job to make either of those options work. Finances aside and consolidating loans and such to make payments smaller. Is it worth dropping everything to do something I’d like more? I think having my own spa would be awesome in the future and that would be the end goal… just interested to see if anyone has done something like this and is it a reasonable thing to do or flat out stupid.

Hi im a male 18, i turned 18 in may and ever since my life has been completely turned upside down. I live in Ireland and I finished highschool and was accepted to college this year and i was gonna go but i couldn’t because of the housing crisis thing and basically i had no accommodation and the gov moved me to a rural place so im basically alone with my mom who i think is starting to hate me and if she knew i was gay she’d prob kill me in my sleep. I literally don’t know what to do I don’t wanna stay here in this shitty ass rural area but i have nowhere to go. My sister is living her best life meanwhile in dublin and she keeps disregarding everything about me like she makes me feel like i should just shut up, be grateful and stay in this tiny room with my mom that the gov provided. I literally have no one but my mom who would kill me if she knew who i really was. I even found accommodation from my friends mom near where we used to live in dublin and now theyre telling me it’s too expensive even tho it would be 4 of us and we’d all be working, like i give them solutions to our problems and they just dont wanna take the chance. So im down to two options because im not wasting a single second, ive lived in these shitty cramped one room accommodations for 3 almost 4 years and im done wasting my life away in them while people i know and my “friends” live their best lives. I dont know if i should run away back to dublin (or anywhere else) or just kms by taking a bunch of pills because im tired.

Ok so... there's this girl i see every now and then who works at a grocery store I go to regularly so I see her maybe once a week at least. Im head over heels crazy about her, I want to ask her out or at least ask if she's seeing anyone. The problem is... my life is a complete mess... im 26 and have never been in a relationship, i didn't graduate high school, I dont have a steady job, I dont have a place of my own... im living with my mother who I helped take care of my father and grandfather for years before they both passed from different unrelated illnesses, my father in 2024 and grandfather this past January. Now going back to the girl... i dont even know if she's taken or not, but if she isnt I want to at least take a chance and ask her instead of spending the rest of my life wondering what could've been, but if I did ask her out and she accepted... i dont want her to have to deal with any of my baggage I havent been able to fix yet, if im going to have a chance with her i want to be able to be the best version of myself i can be. But I also dont want to miss the chance while I have it... what if she gets a new job and I dont see her again? What if someone else asks her out before me? There's just so fucking much I feel is working against me and im trying my best to not lose my mind.

I'm a man who's been in a relationship for about two years. I genuinely love my girlfriend, and I've always imagined building a future with her.

Unfortunately, she suddenly moved from Uganda to Kenya for work without informing me beforehand. It's been almost a year since we last saw each other, and lately, I've been questioning where our relationship is heading.

Whenever I suggest visiting her or initiating serious conversations about our relationship and future, she often seems uninterested. I understand that distance and work can be challenging, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying to keep our relationship alive.

Recently, I met another woman who makes time for me, shows me affection, and makes me feel wanted. We've become physically intimate, and I'm beginning to develop genuine feelings for her.

Now I'm torn between the woman I've invested two years of love in and someone who makes me feel appreciated in the present. I don't want to make a decision out of loneliness, but I also don't want to keep holding on to a relationship simply because of our history.

My question is: Should I have one final conversation with my long-distance girlfriend and try to save our relationship, or should I move on and explore the possibility of building something meaningful with the new woman?

I'd appreciate honest advice, especially from people who've experienced something similar.

I’m 20 years old, female. I dropped out of college my first year which destroyed what little self esteem I had left at the time. I started working at my current job after that. I like my job (most of the time) and I like most of my coworkers. I have my own apartment, I have hobbies I enjoy. Everything’s been going well.

Today when I woke up, the one thought that kept repeating in my head was “I need to die” (or other variations of the same thing). When I parked at my designated parking spot, I kept looking at the parking garage across the street. The first four hours of my shift, I kept looking at it- telling myself I was going to die there today.

During my break (10:30am), I left all of my stuff and went to the top floor of the parking garage. I wasn’t scared, actually I didn’t feel anything at all. What stopped me was that I couldn’t find a spot to be able to pull myself over the wall. And the one spot that I could have climbed on, was right by guest parking meaning there were way too many people around.

When I got back to work, it took about 30 minutes to realize what I almost did. I panicked but I couldn’t tell anyone what happened. Not my coworkers, not my boss, not even my uncle who I work with. I’ve felt fine the rest of the time. I worked the remaining time like nothing happened. It didn’t bother me that I was laughing and talking with my coworkers like normal.

I stopped taking medication almost an entire year ago. I was in therapy for PTSD but had made enough progress to be discharged. I’m alone on this until I can get in to a mental health clinic again.

So what now? I haven’t had a suicide attempt (or near) since I was 17. I don’t even know what to do. I’m an adult now I’m supposed to be able to handle it.

What can I do to make sure I don’t come close to attempting again? How do you deal with suicidal ideation at work? Is this something I can even mention to my boss? Any advice would be appreciated.

I (28m) started talking to a girl (33f) about two months ago, we instantly hit it off and the connection felt so genuine. She says she loves me and wants a future with me and I truly feel the same. Everything is amazing EXCEPT the fact that she has a boyfriend and they’ve been together for 6 years. She says she is really considering leaving him however she hasn’t even brought up the fact she’s thinking of it to him. Everything is fine as far as her boyfriend knows. I feel guilty about this whole thing. I never expected her to change her entire life overnight for me but I’m uneasy with the fact that she won’t even talk to her boyfriend about the possibility of them ending. Am I getting just dragged along? Or should I wait it out?

i need advice

so i (M 25) matched with this girl F (24) on tinder in february of this year. we immediately hit it off, convo was smooth, funny we had similar humor and she was very flirty just like me. it didn’t take energy to talk to her which i love the most with people cause a lot of times talking to people is draining

well she was only in the states for that night before she went home and we added each other on snap. we were basically talking to each other damn near everyday for 7 months, long ass ft for 8hrs talking about anything and everything, it was coo, no strings attached but we were both attracted to each other.

i finally meet her cause she moved to my state with her family n shit. we meet, get the lil awkwardness out and we’ve been vibing ever since. going on road trips, hikes, i met her older siblings she’s with, she matched my freak somewhat lol.

i kinda put myself in a position where idk if i wanna make her my girlfriend or not, i should mention im military and moving states in like 6 months lol. she’s great when im with her we laugh all the time but something is making me hesitant on if i want to be with her for the rest of my life.

some red flags for me are like she has heart problems where her bpm gets mad high and doing some activities henders her from doing them(i’m a very active person) but she still does them. uh she’s in debt, just like me lol, she works serving jobs, coffee shops, she just got a job at a dermatologist place. she wants to be a stay at home mom which is coo but i don’t wanna be the only one working if it’s not enough to bring home for the fam ya know. she’s attractive but ive been with really attractive women and idk if i would think otherwise in the future about her idk im all over the place.

she has great qualities too like she cooks, she’s clean, she’s not lazy, goes to the gym, family values, goals for the future and a lot of other green flags. i kinda feel like if we got married maybe i would be settling instead of trying to pursue someone im more not so nervous about getting with i guess.

im sorry that was super duper long and most yall not gonna read it but just curious what yall think lol. she’s a great woman and would be great to her man i just don’t know if i want that maybe. idk im stuck 😭😭😭

I don't really know what to say but I need to get some words down and out to someone who will listen, I feel incredibly low right now. I feel like I can't trust a single soul. And I just need to be heard.

Recently I've had what I thought was the love of my life leave for London (I live in manchester UK). We had an on/off relationship for 9 months (2 years in total) and now she's finally left my city. We had the most incredible relationship and also the worst which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. We were best friends, but argued all the time... I don't know how someone could be so nice and nasty at the same time. (See post history for details). Even though I know we shouldn't be together, I can't get her out of my head, it's every single day that I think about her. There are too many details about our relationship to mention but even though we broke up, how can someone who supposedly loves me, make a decision to leave, without even letting me know until last minute, I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone I love and if I was in her shoes, I never would have left without mentioning it to her first. We haven't been together properly for 6 months but it finally feels real now shes gone and, I feel betrayed.

On top of this, I've recently been told over the last few weeks that I'm being made redundant, at a company where some of my really close friends are. I thought this was the most stable company anyone could work for, they make upwards of £250,000,000 a year, they're a 'mutual' company and they are cutting 250 IT infrastructure jobs just like that. They always talk about the 'values' of the company, one of them being integrity and honesty, then they do me/us like that. I feel betrayed.

And last week, I went on a trip with a close family friend, long story short just before we were boarding the plane to return home, I fainted, couldn't see or breath for around 20 seconds, it was last calls for the flight, I turned and managed to tell him that I couldn't breath. A family friend, someone I've known since 4 years old, literally looked at me and left me to board the plane, I then had to wait 12 hours for the next flight to a city an hour away from my city. That's exactly how it happened. I have no words.

On top of this, I have been dating since I broke up with my girlfriend, whilst some were fun, dating seems very shallow and seems there are so many external factors that stop people forming meaningful relationships. I say this as a guy that has absolutely no trouble dating or getting dates. I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting older (34 now), dating feels more transactional than ever, more and more girls expect me to pay, not that I automatically pay or they overtly state they expect me to pay, but there's an underlying tone that it's expected. I now haven't dated for over 2 months, I have zero desire, I've lost faith in trusting people, where I didn't have much trust to being with.

I feel incredibly deflated and almost at an all time low. With all that's happened recently, I feel I can't trust a single soul and I'm better just retreating into a small little world where I can't get hurt, I want to protect the little boy I used to be from the world.

I don't really know what I'm looking for in this post, I feel upset, numb, betrayed, low and I just need to get it out.

I know a person who is going through a bad period, struggling with self-harming, low self-esteem, and fear of being alone.

We're not exactly friends, so we don't have a very close relationship, but for some coincidences I was one of the only person that I've saw her in some bad moments, and I saw some cuts and scars.

I genuinely want to help her and support her, but I'm worried about what I can do without looking too intrusive to her.

A few days ago I asked her how she was, her first answer was obviously "fine". So I tried to be a little more pushy, and I said I saw she was going through some difficulties in the last period. She said she was seeing a therapist lately, and that she was a little better. She hugged me and thanked me for asking.

I didn't ask her anything else, because I was afraid of being too intrusive. But now I have a little remorse because maybe she wanted to talk about it more?

How can I be close to her and support her over time, without being intrusive? Should I bring up the topic again, or she might have understood that she can talk to me about it and therefore leave her the freedom to bring up the subject or not?

I don't want her to feel alone handling this, but I also don't want her to feel obliged to talk to me about it

I went on holiday last week and I went to this bar. This guy who works there took interest in me and bought me free shots and drinks. The second night I went back and he sat with me and we made out (he was my first proper kiss except my ex bf but I never made out with him). I gave him my insta and I noticed most of his following on insta was young girls like me who also visited the bar and it made me sad but I expected it. On the third night that I went back we made out again and then said goodbye because I was never going to see him again. Each time I was quite drunk so I don’t remember much. On the last night of holiday my friends went to the bar and I didn’t but they met some people who told them that this same guy had been cozying up to their 18 year old niece. This made me really upset as he didn’t even wait until I was out the country to move on. I’ve been crying for a while and I know it’s dramatic but I’m young and I have autism so I have a lot of feelings. It just really broke my heart because he was one of the only guys to give me attention but it turns out he’s doing it to everyone. Please give me advice on how to move on because my heart hurts.

F18 - Hello! Recently turned 18 (In the U.S.) and I was hoping to get advice from people with similar experiences. Rant below (Skip to 4/5th paragraph for my financial concerns/questions if you don’t feel like reading through family complaints) ⬇️

For context, I am an atheist (ex-muslim) and my parents are quite controlling, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc. I recognize that I am quite privileged, as even though they can be controlling, I am still safe and they aren’t abusive, atleast not physically. 😅 (I understand abuse comes in different forms though, such as the emotional kind). Anywho, because of my situation I wouldn’t mind waiting a few more years until I can save enough money to leave on my own. The issue I’m trying to express is that fact I have no idea where to start… I mean, I’m not even allowed to go out of the house on my own or choose a job I want, let alone make any friends, listen to music, draw what I want, express myself, dress how I want, etc. Being an ex-muslim atheist as a woman is so much more difficult, since they believe women are too gullible to go out on their own, need to get married/care for kids and such. I could go on and on but you get the gist.

Anywho, incase it isn’t obvious, the main reason I want to move out is to be able to have more freedom and express myself without fear and actually express myself (and have a social life lol). I secretly have one friend in my area and another close friend who lives a few hours away. She was suggesting I try to transfer into the same college shes in once I finish my 2 & a half years at my community college (I’m pre-med). She was thinking it would be best to try moving there, which would be nice, as I want to move far away from my parents since theres a lot of muslim family members in my area that would see me if I were to move out in the same area (I live in a small town).

However, the city shes in is a higher cost of living, but I mean, it‘s a good college with dorms and many research opportunities, and theres always fafsa and other ways to cover college costs. It‘s just, how do I move to somewhere far if I am not even allowed the house or have a job, not to mention how my location is tracked.

I was thinking I could try finding a medical related job so I can tell them it‘s going toward my clinical hours, but it‘s hard to find a job that pays much. Was thinking of creating a bank account (have $1k saved up and a lot of gold) and taking my personal documents to a different bank separate from the bank my family uses. I don’t know how to do that secretly though, as they would be wondering why I wouldn’t want to do it in the same bank. Not to mention they have cameras outside, so they would know I left on my own. Anyways, seems like a good start that I‘m considering my options at least?

I’m not sure if I should stay with them for 2 years or 4 years, cause I don’t think I want to wait 8 years until finishing medical school (if I even get in), as they don’t mind supporting my college path (as long as I continue to pretend…) I am pursuing a math/science for transfer associates and then biology, but I don’t know if it will be better to change it to a back up degree incase med school doesn’t work out, so it can make it easier for me to move out and find a higher paying job faster? Man I’m confused. 😵‍💫

Well, enough yapping! I know going on reddit and asking a bunch of strangers for advice isn’t the best thing, as I am aware only I can make my own choices and decide my path. I just went here to vent and take note of any tips any of you might have who were in similar situation.

I have been with my boyfriend for around 6 years now. We dated for 3 years, and then each moved to opposite sides of the country (him for work, me for grad school). I graduated with my master's but declined to go on and get my PHD so I could move to him. I have also always said that my goal was to be a stay at home mom and raise my own kids. In my field (clinical psych), you typically need your doctorate to become licensed, so my work opportunities have been limited. My boyfriend works a very high paying job that requires him to move states every few years as needed, and we have already moved once since I moved in with him a year ago. For reference, he makes more than I would with my doctorate, and has the opportunity to build substantial wealth over time in this company through employee stock. He is also on track for a good promotion. I love my boyfriend so much. He is my best friend. He provides for everything and doesn't make me pay any bills so that I can focus on my student loans. We frequently go to nice dinners, concerts, and other activities, which he pays for. However, I have really been wanting to go back to grad school. He made a comment during our long distance relationship about how his career will always come first due to him growing up in a poorer household, which has been in my head ever since. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, as well as recently found out my dream professor to work with in a PHD program is taking students starting in 2027, which would require me to live in a different state for 4+ years. I don't think my boyfriend would follow me, given his prior comments and trajectory of his career. Part of me wants to apply to the program and just see what happens, but I'm not sure if I could give up the comfort that I have in my current relationship. Advice is appreciated.

All of a sudden my brain find something interesting like learning that i might actually enjoy drawing, wanting to start learning how to play electric guitar, how to become a music producer, videographer, graphic designer... even becoming a poet.

But— how can I even start these certain things? I never really tried anything out yet because im scared i might hate it. These are all very artistic things so its safe to say id like an artistic future

Sorry, I really dont know how i can explain things anymore at this point

I know the title seems bad, but here’s some context. I (19F) am almost 20, I’m in my third year of university, but actually only my second year in my program since I switched after first year. I am doing absolutely awful in school. My GPA is below a 2.0, I’m not enjoying it, I have 0 motivation to show up let alone hand in my assignments, and I find no pleasure in this anymore. I’m currently doing history, which I have an immense passion for. I love everything history. But, it just ruins all of the excitement when I have these awful classes that make it unfun. My real passion is music, classical music, but I didn’t pursue an education in music because it wouldn’t lead to a stable career. Now, I’m 2 years away from graduating (if I’m LUCKY), and I’m realising well…history won’t really get me into much either unless I do MORE school or go straight into a government office job.

Now, I have something else pushing me in a different direction. My serious boyfriend and I are long(ish) distance, living about 2 hours away from each other, but neither of us have cars to drive so combined with our packed schedules we’re lucky if we see each other once a month. I live in a very very boring city. There is nothing to do here if you’re a young person. It’s boring, it’s government-focused, it’s moreso a city for families..not 18-35 year olds. My boyfriend lives in an AMAZING CITY. Lots of stuff to do, amazing night life, better price of living, etc. Here’s where everything gets iffy.

I currently am working part time as a Starbucks barista. It’s a lovely job, I have SO MUCH FUN, makes okay money (a little above minimum wage), and has some nice benefits. My boyfriend just got an interview at a Starbucks in his city too…hahaha…

Add all this stuff up, now..I hate school, I see no future with this degree, I’m basically wasting money that I could save by repeatedly failing classes…I have a job that I can transfer to my boyfriend’s city, and I’ve been looking at apartments which will cost around $700-800 CAD a month if I have a roommate. I already have around $40K saved up from my grandparents…So..now I’m thinking..should I drop out?

The thing I’m most scared about is what if I can’t find another job with only a high school degree. I could do school later if I really feel like it. I just really wanna live my life in my 20s and I already have enough money, plus if I work full time I’ll have enough to cover rent and groceries. I don’t need a car if I live downtown, since public transit is good, but I’d still spend a few hundred on a bus pass.

Can I PLEASE get some advice? Am I stupid for thinking this?!

Im 15 and im addicted to porn for like 3-2 years already and my brain became this hyper horny I guess for woman suffering like moans and screams and blood and ofc I never acted on it i tried to cut my porn use and I dont even watch porn with that kind of stuff because it makes me feel so guilty and like a creep after but my brain because like hyper focused on it that I sometimes imagine stuff like that but thats all I just imagine. The porn didnt make me incompetent and it doesnt take a bunch of my time and (sorry if its sounds egoisist) but I think im a good person i try to be im one of the smart students I get 100% -90% on tests and I volunteer in stuff and im in robotics and try to help pepole when I can but im still super addicted and what if I grow up and lose control and actually do the shit I imagine I dont want to be a lesbain version of Jeffrey dhamer im so afraid that I won't ever get a gf and be a creep and end up in jail where no one will visit me because im an abomination and im scared that if I will have a gf what if I will lose a screw in my brain and hurt her I don't want to hurt pepole and what if I grow up normally and I iwll have a wife and kids but when my future wife will figure i have those imaging then she would leave me and what if I end up in a metal hospital because im creazy. The porn thing isnt even the worst thing I also hate touches and stuff so mabye I will hate it so much and become isolated and stuff and mabye i will end up in a mental hospital

Hello, basically I moved to the USA for my grade 12th year and with my course load I'm struggling with my courses -- particularly AP chem and AP Calculus ab. Now I also did start 3 weeks late but yeah.

Now the thing is that I'm also doing an online course for AP Physics C which I have a B in but . . . well they're expecting me to learn stuff so quickly -- like in 5 days for entire units so I may or may not have . . . looked the answers online so . . . I've cheated . . . which is why the grade is passing but that's bad because I have a 57 in Calculus and that is CRAZY suspicious. Now like I wasn't trying to be evil and given different cursumstances I won't have but well . . . I started 3 weeks late so I got 5 days to figure out a whole unit at best and with the pressure of passing with a good grade . . . I just didn't know what to do, and it's bad, I was going to stop when I caught up with the class but it's a stain on my record forever. Like I THINK it's hard for them to prove and everythign but . . . if they do and I'm caught . . . yeah. But at the same time if I droup it I have to go to college so yeah . . . I'm stuck.

For AP Chemistry I have a 43 in that class but I blame that on the teacher not teaching me ANYTHING that I needed to know from the 3 weeks I missed before taking the test. However still, I might keep this one actually but yeah, idk.

Now for Calculus I got a 53 on the unit 2 test and my teacher (not so slyly) wants me to audit her course, half because the grade and other half because she doesn't have much faith on me because I'm taking pre calculus and calculus at the same time. Also yeah my course are something too: I'm taking a total of 5 AP courses this year -- that's also a thing.

Now what I've been thinking is that I go back to Canada (my home country) in a open studies or upgrading whatever course for a year or maybe 2, idk, collect those stuff and go off but it costs money and takes 1-2 years longer where if I stayed in Canada it would be instantaneous. So yeah, idk :///

So yeah with my grades, the whole physics situation that I'm hoping putting on here doesn't leak to my high school what I've done, and the workload, I don't know what to do. My dad said it's fine but NOW he says it's more beneficial if I just continue taking them but that we can decide after parent-teacher interviews but that won't be enough, I like the random people of the internet to tell me what to do so . . . yeah, what do I do? Do I continue with my courses (even physics with the past looking up ( . . . cheating . . .) stuff -- not that they'll find out . . . I hope) Please help :(((

so for the past few months i have started to think a lot about the concept of life, i am a teenage girl btw. i became an athiest and against religion for reasons like mysognistic traditions, suffering around the world, and just how religion is not proven enough for me to dedicate my whole life to it. it got me thinking about how weird everything is and no one around me talks about it so i feel even weirder thinking about it. i realised i like the idea of optimistic nihilism. i find it very special that life has no meaning and we are just atoms and molecules floating in space. but at the same time it makes me want to kill myself and i dont know why. i like my life. obviously i have problems like everyone else. i am addicted to smoking weed, i have a big problem with pulling out my hair, i have a dysfunctional family. also the fact that i am popular at school and all of my friends seem so performative, they are like robots, they dont make my laugh, they are so fake, and so boring. its all about how aesthetically pleasing they all have to be and it makes me feel insane and i have to hide my weed problem from them because they would all shame me for it. back to the whole world view. it freaks me out a bit that we are basically aliens, we are no different from the aliens on different planets and stuff and how corrupt our whole world is, how we are supposed to live for money, how everyone just ignored the epstien files, how men rule the world and how abused women are. how there are only two genders, how sex rules everyones life aswell, and how entitled humans are to think that we are the special and normal ones in the universe and hoe there are so many terrible things going on in the world like wars ect and no one really mentions it, at least no one i talk to. i think about it all the time how everyone just goes on with their life and doesnt speak about it and then i mention it and my friends laugh at me and they all just see me as this crazy girl. i dont know if its me smoking weed all the time that is making me like this or it is just me realising it. i have my best friend and i talk to him about it sometimes but i still keep a lot of it to myself because i know no one would really understand what i am saying. when i think about killing myself its like overdosing on panadol and just ending my life now so i dont have to keep on going on like this and living in this insane world. i am actually quiet content with my life like my friends, my family (kind of), my appearance, ect, but it just freaks me out about how this is the way things are. i did go to therapy for a bit but my parents just put me in that for my anxiety and my weed problem and i wouldnt feel comfortable talking about this to my therapist. help me what to do? also if this is not the right community to be posting this on please tell me which one i should post it.

So for some context i M22 live at home with my parents and 2 siblings M18 and F16. Its very clear that once my younger sister gets situated in college that my parents plan to get a divorce. It sounds harsh but i really dont care the fact that they are splitting up i know they dont love eachother anymore and are just staying together for my sister and brother. Divorce is obviously the best option and we all know it ive talked about it with my siblings a few times. I wont get into which parent is right or wrong but splitting up is for the best.

It also happens that at this point im looking to move out and probably far away (NJ to CO) with some friends who all want to get out of jersey. My parents keep trying to convince me to buy a house near by and saying its the best option but thats not what i want in the slightest. I dont think its the case but i feel like there is a chance that they want another house near by for someone to go when the eventually split and that they want me to be here.

I dont want to abandon them or my siblings cause im worried how it will effect all of them with everything thats already going on and i know me being here would help things but i also really dont want it to slow my life down and take away a chance for me to leave that i cant miss. So back to the question in the title, is it wrong to leave while this is all going on? I dont hold any grudges or hatred towards any of them and of course my doors would be always open to all of them if they needed it. I just dont want them to hold it against me for leaving and cause it to be worse and tenser than it has to be.

I’m a guy in my late twenties who recently left his job because of how incredibly unhappy I was. I’m at a point where I want to restart my life, figure out what I actually want, and give myself another shot at being happy.

But before jumping straight into another job and falling back into the same routine, I want to do something special with this time. Something memorable that I’ll look back on years from now and be glad I did. I have some savings, some time, and a desire to experience something different before starting the next chapter of my life.

The problem is that I have no idea what that something should be.

I’ve considered Workaway, particularly farm stays where you help out in exchange for accommodation. The idea of living somewhere peaceful, working with animals, being outdoors, and having a simple daily routine genuinely appeals to me. It sounds like a good opportunity to disconnect from everything and reconnect with myself.

However, finding a trustworthy host, figuring out the logistics, and putting myself in an unfamiliar environment with strangers feels quite intimidating. I’ve never done anything like that before.

I’ve also considered travelling around Europe. I’m from Asia, and I’d love to experience more of the world. I’ve travelled solo before, but honestly, I never really enjoyed it as much as I hoped. I struggled to enjoy myself in unfamiliar places, and the constant movement never felt particularly fulfilling. The idea of changing accommodation every couple of days while backpacking doesn’t appeal to me either.

That said, I wonder whether spending a month or two somewhere beautiful, staying in one place, building a routine, meeting people, and experiencing ordinary life in another country might be completely different.

Maybe a small farm in the countryside, a coastal town, a mountain village, or somewhere I could volunteer and feel part of a community. Somewhere I could slow down without feeling like I need to be sightseeing or making the most of every second.

I’m open to other ideas, too. It doesn’t necessarily have to involve travelling abroad. I just want to do something outside my usual comfort zone that feels meaningful and gives me a story to tell myself when I’m older.

**Has anyone here been in a similar situation?** Have you ever left a job, taken a break from your usual life, and done something that genuinely changed your perspective? What did you do, where did you go, and was it worth it?

I’d especially love to hear from people who aren’t naturally adventurous, who struggle with uncertainty, or who found solo travel difficult but eventually discovered an experience that worked for them.

I’m feeling a little lost at the moment, and I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Maybe someone else’s story will give me an idea I haven’t considered yet.

Thank you in advance

I love foreign languages like crazy and i want to study them further but i am very embarrassed to reveal this passion of mine.
When i ask my friends about what they want to do in the future their answers are law,med school and more serious things and i feel like an idiot saying i want to go abroad. We are all last year of HS (19 years old) and we are about to go to college and i always lied about where i want to go and say something like law school when in reality i want to go far far away like China. I have been secretly studying Chinese for about 4 years and had even taken and passed exams. I was pretty open about it until i got called "cringe" and "immature" and i just stopped talking about it.
Now,when i am about to go to college,i am insecure about this decision even though i would die to study more and more languages.
Anytime they would bring up leaving to study abroad i remained silent and just listened.
Sounds like a very obvious resolving situation but i feel like i am betraying them and we are all very close (group of 4 girls aka my bestfriends)
Does that make me a horrible person?

I am 18F in college currently, and i’m enrolled in the ROTC program to become a commission officer straight into the military. But I know for myself and my future it’s just not for me. I understand that when people don’t know what to do for their life, they point towards the military, but it’s not an option for me. I want to know from any older folks what they did in my position. Did you go to college for a degree that you actually use, or would i be able to go into trade school for a nice job to be able to at least make some decent money? My boyfriend right now is training to become a firefighter and keeps urging me that he will provide for us and that I don’t need to worry about working, but I want to at least be able to do something for myself as of right now. Please help!!

Hello! I'm a 31 yr old woman, currently unemployed for the last year and a half or so. I feel as though I've made one bad decision after another (didn't focus enough in undergrad and got bad grades, have been okay with taking time off work and now have multiple gaps in employment/ on my resume).

I feel my life has taken an entirely different path than I had expected (I was always top of my class growing up/very ambitious and goal oriented. Even attended undergrad on a full ride academic scholarship). I feel stuck. And I'm very unsatisfied with the current path I am on in life. I desperately want to change things / get myself back on track to having the "highly successful" and "high earning" life that I always imagined for myself. The poor decisions I have made over the years make that path feel a million times farther than it once was though.

I'd love any advice on how to essentially "turn my life around" / get onto a better path/ "change my life drastically" (for the better).

What are some things that had significant impact on the trajectory of your life/ or the life of someone you know? (I'm willing and able to invest some money into this. Any and all thoughtful suggestions, whether big or small are welcomed and greatly appreciated.)

A little more background... I finished my undergrad in 2019 (didn't do that great, ended up with a 3.1 GPA), took two years off immediately after graduating due to some family/ big personal stuff going on at home, and didn't start my first "big girl job" until 2021. I worked for a nonprofit for about 3.5-4 years before getting laid off last year due to funding cuts. I've struggled with my mental health over the years so after I got laid off I essentially decided to just take some time to myself (except I didn't plan anything, time has just passed, and a year and a half later here I am, still unemployed and I haven't really done anything with my time off/ "gap year").

Thanks in advance! <3

Hi everyone! How are you? I could really use some advice. I haven't been diagnosed, but I suspect I might have ROCD or something similar, and honestly, it’s really taking a toll on me. It all started back in June when I joined one of those anonymous chat sites, you know? I ended up talking to a guy my age. He was nice, so the conversation flowed well, but at one point, he asked me—in a suggestive way—what I was doing there, and I felt a physical, sexual reaction. I told him I was just there to chat and things like that. Overall, I think our interaction was normal. I only felt that same arousal during another playful comment he made, but I don't recall responding flirtatiously or anything like that. I treated him like a friend. Later, he explicitly said he was hitting on me, and I didn't think twice before leaving the chat. The problem is, my mind keeps insisting that I was enjoying it and that, somehow, I was reciprocating his advances. This makes me feel terrible at the thought that I might have cheated on my girlfriend. I should add that, at first, I was worried about having been too friendly with him. Once I managed to accept that, my anxiety shifted to the fact that I kept the conversation going instead of leaving the moment he said something weird. Now, I’m questioning whether I was actually enjoying the interaction. Anyway, I’m afraid that if I simply ignore these thoughts, I might end up sweeping a potential act of cheating under the rug. I wouldn't think it’s fair for my girlfriend to be with someone who cheated on her. I’d really appreciate some advice. I don't know if I have real grounds to believe I did something wrong or if I'm just suffering from anxiety over an interaction that happened a few months ago. I’m tired of constantly questioning everything, and I’d like to be able to handle this in a healthier way.