r/Hawaii • u/Pure_Ice_8585 • 4d ago
Question Should you call guys your age “bro/brother”?
Recently moved here and I know that obviously you call older people “auntie” and “uncle,” but I’ve also noticed that lots of people call girls around their age or younger “sis/sister.” Now I’m curious if you should call guys your age or younger “bro/brother”? Or “cousin”? Sorry if this is a stupid question!!
(Edit: idk if this is relevant or changes anything but I am a girl)
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u/808fisherman 2d ago
Proper term is boto not bro here. Gotta say sup boto, or eh boto.
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u/Tityfan808 2d ago
Yup. None of my boto’s say bro. That’s how you tell one true boto apart from a fake boto.
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u/LavenderPanda32 3d ago
I'm a be honest with you. If you have to ask this question then the simple answer is don't even try right now. It's gonna come off as unnatural because it will be. Just be yourself and eventually you'll get use to the language, then maybe sprinkle some terms in there but I promise you that you're gonna come off as a "try-hard" if you land and start immediately hitting people with "Howzit bruh!!". Some people might appreciate the effort but others will see right through it.
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u/Boating_Enthusiast 4d ago
Wait till dis buggah find out get secret handshake.
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u/54M-verse 2d ago
I had to teach a transplant how. It was like I cracked open a secret code for him.
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u/ImpossibleGoose7565 4d ago
In Pidgin, there's brah, braddah, cuz, bulleh... But if you're new here I would not use these, you will sound ridiculous. Stick to "bro" or "man" or whatever you say now.
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u/DependsOnDaDay 3d ago
I personally find “bro” and “brother” obnoxious. It’s such a mainland thing imo. Braddah, brah, cuz, and sis, sistah.
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u/ultrarages 3d ago edited 3d ago
Honestly you should really be calling someone auntie or uncle unless they tell you themselves its okay. Coming from someone who moved here from the mainland I try my best to respect how other locals talk because I feel like of I do talk Pidgin it can come across rude cuz I'm not local. Jusy talk how you normally do, unless you hang out with all the local people then well Pigeon is just going to come out lol it happens.
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u/SimpleMind314 3d ago
I lived in Dallas for about a year before I caught myself saying "ya'll".
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u/ultrarages 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah I would say if you hang out with the heavy pidgin speaking you will start to do it in less the 6 months lol
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u/Obvious-Computer8107 3d ago
‘Cousin/Cuz’ can come off threatening if you say it with a certain tone. Same w/ ‘bro/braddah’. Until you know the environment better I wouldn’t recommend it.
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u/Deemaunik Maui 3d ago
Just don't call anyone uncle or auntie if you get grey hair.
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u/Vaugeresponse 3d ago
( Laughing out loud ), I was wondering about this. Is Sir or Mama still appropriate?
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u/Visual_Village3168 2d ago
Brah, sis and cuz are way more familiar than auntie and uncle. Like, you can stay on their couch for a week familiar, or they would share their one plate lunch with you.
If you aren't at that level, don't use them in a serious way. It just comes off as cringe.
Auntie and uncle are more common, because kids can't be expected to know and remember all adult names... :D I'd say if you are going to start calling someone uncle, follow it up with their name. That shows effort to bond, not just a placeholder for a name you didn't remember.
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u/808fisherman 2d ago
Locally it's a sign of respect. Even after I turned 20, I've never once called my aunty by her first name nor would I dare to other than as a joke. The same way I don't call my mom or dad by their first name either.
It's why if you're 18 20 you generally still refer to the older guys as Uncle.
No one gets mad over it in my exp. It's just always been an unspoken rule that seems to get followed is all
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u/prophetmuhammad Oʻahu 4d ago
The usage of the word "brother" is not dependent on the age difference between individuals. It comes from the idea that they share the same ancestry, culture, philosophy, or goal. For example, people who belong in the same religion or fraternities refer to each other as brothers/sisters because they have a common goal and view.
You can extend this concept to all social groups you are a part of.
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u/DayGeckoArt 3d ago
As a fellow transplant who has lived all around the world, I would suggest not calling anyone "auntie" or "uncle" or "brah" or "sis" unless you're absolutely certain it's OK. Contrary to popular belief, everyone isn't auntie and uncle. There are unspoken rules that locals may not even be conscious of, and when we try to copy we risk social faux pas. For example, one time our boss called a cultural practioner "Auntie" and it stood out to both me and my kanaka coworker. Because it suggested a familiarity that didn't exist, and was inappropriate in a work email. Yet if we worked at a hula halau and our boss was friends with the cultural practitioner her whole life, it would be totally normal to call her Auntie.
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u/808fisherman 2d ago
Idk man. Auntie uncle is the universal sign of respect to your elders. I think context matters. If you are like howzit auntie like you close that's one thing, but if you're like excuse me aunty I need help with this that's another.
In my 40s while fishing I've been called uncle by local boys and by haole boys it never mattered to me.
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u/teedub21 Maui 2d ago
Usually Braddah. Or Cuz. But honestly you don’t even need to say anything. Some older people don’t like when you call them Aunty/Uncle. Likewise, some people don’t want you calling them Braddah/Sis unless you know them.
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u/Awkward_Passion4004 3d ago
Mainland Haloes trying to talk like island born folk are a hoot.
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u/Vaugeresponse 3d ago
These terms are used see on the mainland too. If you could just stop and pull your head out of your ass you would know something of the use and evolution of words and there use.
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u/Awkward_Passion4004 2d ago
Your hostility is a hoot too.
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u/Vaugeresponse 2d ago
That does not make my post untrue. I am glad you got some enjoyment from it. I was hoping it would make you think.
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u/brainball77 3d ago
Brah, points for asking and caring..bum bai they get em.. might wanna rehearse brah 10000 times out loud so it sounds right.. for real, points for trying no tease! At least they like learn and try fit in here ❤️
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u/DifferenceLoud505 4d ago
We used to say sistuh, bradduh and cuz for people our age, but now it's changing following mainland influence to sis and bro. We also traded uncle for uncs, but still say aunty.
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u/Glass_Fun1576 3d ago
Moved here a few months ago and honestly wondered the same thing. The "don't force it" advice matches what I've landed on so far: it comes out on its own with people I've talked to a few times, and the rest of the time I'm just regular me. Still too chicken to break out a "brah" though lol
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u/stoic_HYN808 2d ago
It really doesn’t matter. All I know is you’re not going to catch me saying sir or maam lol
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u/TheDickDuchess 4d ago
dont use pidgin if you don't know how. just talk to people normally