Hey Dad, Mom passed this morning after being really sick for 36 days in ICU. It was really hard but I made sure her autonomy and dignity were respected and that her voice was heard. But I am really sad, I miss her. I need my mommy and I don't know what to do.

Hi dad :) More positive post than my usual. I'm 19 and I escaped my abusive parents last year, been living on my own for nearly a year now and I'm doing better. I was never vaccinated when i was a kid or a teenager because my parents are anti-vax but I've spent time unpacking things and doing my own research. It took a minute to get up the courage but I booked the appointment and I had my first shots on Monday this week. My arm hurts but I feel good, little thingss ⭐️💫 It feels like I'm taking my life back into my hands dad, and it feels really good :>

I’m 25, turning 26 next month, and currently attending university away from home.

Academically, I’m doing well. I have straight As, I’m working towards a career in federal law enforcement, and I’m trying to be responsible with my finances.

But I’ve accumulated credit card debt, and I’ve had to cut most of my entertainment subscriptions, including my cloud gaming service. My laptop can’t run most of the games I actually enjoy.
I know cutting expenses is the right decision. I can’t spend money I don’t have.

The problem is that my college experience has already been pretty lonely. I don’t have much of a social life here, and gaming was one of the things I genuinely looked forward to after studying.

Now my evenings and weekends feel empty. I can write, read, watch films, or play a couple of older games, but I’m struggling to find anything to look forward to.

I spent tonight getting angry about it, but eventually realised that being angry won’t change my bank balance.

I don’t want to abandon my education or make my debt worse. I just don’t want the next several months to consist entirely of studying, boredom, and sleeping.

Dads, how would you approach this? How do you build an enjoyable life when you’re young, broke, living alone, and trying to do the responsible thing?

Hey Dad,

I have the flu & I am in a waitlist for a homeless shelter. I have somewhere to stay in the meantime but it has a time limit. So hopefully I get placed in one of the shelters soon. I am in my last year of collage and it's been hard to keep up with schoolwork. There's a lot of things going on that I don't want to get into but everything has been so stressful and deregulating.

And I'm a complete baby when I'm sick haha

❤️✨

I know we haven’t talked in five years, but you’re still important to me. I miss you. Given recent events, I feel like I’m losing you. Please come back. I just want to hang out and listen to music with you again. I hope you wake up from what seems to be a nightmare.

i broke up with my boyfriend because it wasn’t healthy for me. i loved him so much but i have severe commitment issues. i often go through the cycle of wanting to leave then being obsessed over and over. i decided it would be healthy to stop it.

we technically weren’t even together but it went on for five months of us acting like a couple and me not committing. he loved me so much.

i’m trying to sleep but i can’t. it would make me so anxious to sleep some night because it felt like he was gone because he wasn’t right next to me. now i don’t have him at all. i know going back isn’t right but this is so hard. i need you dad.

I'm a 3rd year in college and I work at my school as a Resident Advisor, or RA. Basically the person you go too if there's an issue on the floor or with your roommate and stuff. It's a very social job and I'm not a social person, I hate being this viable to everyone and try to save as much peace for me as I can. But recently that's been getting me in trouble and I can't take it anymore. Basically my manager was saying that residents have been emailing saying that they don't know who I am and that's gotten around to the leadership committee and now i have an initial warning on their punishment system, which is the second step in their 6-ish part punishment system and it ends with you getting fired. I'm not trying to deliberately avoid people, but I need my space, and this semester I'm bombarded with everything going on and to keep getting in trouble and getting this upset over a job I don't even want is hitting me hard. The only reason I have this job is because I need the money. It covers costs for room and board plus a meal plan for my college and I go to a fairly expensive college (even tho nowadays they all are). But yeah, I'm only doing it for the money but I've started to realize it's just not worth it anymore. The amount of stress and anxiety I'm experiencing is just too much.

I've thought about quitting and I did the research and I can't. My college can't guarantee hosing if I give up my current RA room so I'm stuck. I've talked to my manager about how I feel and he seems to understand that I know what's going on and we worked out a plan to try. Today I cried in his office and I've never felt more stupid in my life, he kept asking about why I'm stressed and I mentioned my mom and how she doesn't believe in me and when I tried to tell her all this she got mad and kept saying I'm being a baby and the year will end before I know it and it's not that bad and bullshit like that. And she's always made it clear she doesn't believe in me, she thinks my major (animation) is stupid and has basically said "I'm only letting you go to this school because my father has an engineering degree and he wasn't able to find stable jobs" and she's also basically said that the only reason I can go to this school is because I agreed to be an RA. And no matter how miserable I tell her I am, she doesn't care, she had it worse, I need to suck it up and push through.

I cried today in front of my boss.

It's far past the point of "pushing through". But I can't quit. I can't find housing elsewhere because it's too big a gamble to give it up, and even if I could quit my mother would kill me and never let me hear the end of it. She would literally be the most pissed off I've ever seen, and she would hang it over my head for the rest of my life as an example of why I'm not good enough.

I don't know what to do. I hate everything about this situation, but I'm genuinely stuck, there is nothing I can do.

What do I do?

Hey dad, if my car is shuddering when I'm braking and slow to acceleration, is that just from the cold? It is 36 degrees fahrenheit, so I'm assuming it could just be cold weather. But is it something I should have checked out?

I don't know what flair to put. I apologize.

This may be both in Indonesian and English. Beling bilingual is fun!

Dad, before you passed away 3yrs and one month ago, i was planning on asking you, what was it like growing up in Solo (Surakarta in Indonesia)?

What was it like during the 50s and 60s?

What motivated you to work for Deplu (now known as KEMLU or the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for Indonesia) and work so hard, supporting mom, me and my sister?

I wish I was strong like you 'til the very end.

I shall never forget the time i saw your body during morning prayers, limp flat down on the ground and mom and <sister> were wailing, calling out "Dad" to no avail.

When i stood beside your body in that room in top of that metal table at the hospital with the code blue sign having been extinguished via the PA system, I admit it I lost it.

I cried for you to wake up, Ayah! Ayah! Bangun!!!!!
But you never responded or even react.

When I realized you were gone, I lost family history as well.

Please forgive me for all the wrongs I did to you and Mama.

I miss you so much.

Rama.

3 Sep 2023 09:47 CDT.

----------

Ayah, sebelum kamu meninggal kita 3thn 1bln lalu, aku tak pernah nanya kamu, gimana sih, hidupnya di Solo?

Waktu zaman dulu dlm thn 50an 60an, gimana rasanya? Maksudku, kan lg perang komunis dan Bung Karno udh mau keluar.... Pak Harto jd Presiden, pemikiran kamu gimana waktu itu?

Motivasi Ayah untuk menjadi orang Kemlu gmn?

Untuk mendukung keluarga kami waktu itu, apa yg bikin Ayah kuat selama kamu kerja di KJRI?

Sebenernya, aku berharap aku sekuat dirimu.

Saya tak akan lupa apa yg terjadi, pas mama ama kakak teriak kenceng, ayah ayah bangun!

Pas liat mayatnya Ayah dalam posisi sujud waktu sholat subuh, susah bernafas, aku hampir putus asa.....

"Ayah! Ayah! Kok gak mau bangun sih, Ayah!?"

Nah, dilalah, pas Ayah di atas meja ruangan itu, aku putus asa lg.

"Ayah, jgn meninggal dong!"

Tp udh tak ada lg. Pas udh gak ada, histori keluarga kami hilang juga.

Bener2 sy minta maaf untuk kesalahan aku buat kamu dan Mama.

Bener2 aku miss kamu setiap hari kamu gak ada di dining room kami, nonton video dr YT, ngomong dlm basa Jawa.

Rama.

3 Sep 2023, 09:47 CDT.

I’ve (28M)been out of grad school a few years and went through job loss, unemployment, financial stress, and even homelessness.

Now I finally have a job in the field I wanted. The people are great and I actually like the work, but sometimes things are slow. I ask for more when I have capacity, but there isn’t always something available.

Because of what I’ve been through before, I think every quiet period makes me scared that I’m not needed or that I’ll somehow lose everything again.

Outside of work, I’m very overweight and trying to lose weight, single, in therapy, doing improv, and trying to meet people and build a social life.
I know I’m making progress, but mentally I still feel like I’m waiting for something bad to happen.

Dad, how do you stop living like everything good is temporary?

I’m 28 years old and I’m the sole provider of my household. I’m taking care of myself, my wife, our 2 kids, my brother in law, a cat and a dog in a 2 bedroom apartment. My wife helps by taking care of our food budget and is in school to finish her last year’s worth of classes to get her associates degree for better career opportunities. She’s taking care of the long term and I’m taking charge of the short term to get us there. My brother in law, I have tried being patient with him but either he can’t or won’t get a job and it’s only making it harder on us. I’m at the point where he’s gotta go at the end of this month. I feel like I’ve exhausted job listings and currently at a temp agency and I’m scared of failing my family. I’m not incapable at my job or learning anything more that’s aligned with it. I’m a pretty decent electrical apprentice. I would argue that I know and have had more responsibilities than other apprentices I’ve seen. I’m tired of telling my kids “No, we can’t afford it.” over and over that it’s a catchphrase at this point. My 6 year anniversary is in 8 days and I got nothing to get her just like the last couple of years. I just feel like I need one good break. One chance to prove myself at a stable job that will not only pay my bills but just be able to give my family more than a place to live. I feel like I’m failing as a man and I don’t know what to do to fix it. My wife says I’m too hard on myself and to stop measuring myself with dollar signs but I am tired of stressing every month. I don’t need luxury, just breathing room. My friends tried getting me on to their opportunities but no success. I can’t tell if I’m not meant for opportunities that present themselves to me or I’m blind to them. What would you do, Dad? I feel like I’m drowning and giving a thumbs up that everything is fine.

Hey daaaad, i caught my first fish this Saturday.

We went fishing with my in-laws and my FIL was teaching me how to fish and i caught my first one. It wasn't a big one or something special, just a simple Taranka, but i felt so proud.

I didn't expect it and got really excited and scared to not loose it as before and threw it in the nearest bush in pure panic. We had to fish it thru the thorns🤣🤣

I'm pretty high functioning, really good memory (but like not in the moment, so partially useless), quick learner- freaking engineering degree for fux sake.

But, small judgements on my actions from anyone close (friend or family) to me sticks with me for half a day;

Meanwhile all the little successes- I nod and move on.

What's wrong with me Dad?

My first post got deleted and I don’t know why.

Hey dads!

I’ve been working in education for several years, and starting next month, I’ll be taking on some administrative responsibilities alongside teaching.

I’ll be helping with the day-to-day organization of the school and hopefully making things better for both students and teachers.

It’s a big step for me, and honestly, I’m really proud of myself. I wish I had my dad around to share this moment with. I’d love to tell him about my day, hear his thoughts, or simply have one of those ordinary conversations that other people might take for granted.

I guess that’s what I miss most: having a father figure to talk to about life, work, little victories, and everyday things.

If any dads here have a moment, I’d really appreciate some encouragement or a few kind words. No pressure at all. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear a little fatherly wisdom.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’re all having a good time. ❤️

recently I’ve been anxious about the state of the world… feels like everyone has gone mad. surely you’ve seen times like this and overcame it, but i haven’t. i was barely a teenager during covid, but now I’m a young adult in a scary world that is unforgiving and ever changing…

specifically the elections are stressing me out, even if it goes “my way” i still expect devastation because it feels like that’s all there is now. is there a solution to the stress or world at large? i clear my head with exercise and spending time with loved ones, but when i see the news, how can i stay optimistic? am i too sensitive?

Hey dad.

I don't really know where to start. I wish I could actually say all of this to you instead of writing it here and imagining what you'd say back.

I wish I'd gotten to meet you, dad. I see old photos of you on Facebook sometimes, and I get so jealous knowing that other people got to know you, got to see you, and got to have memories with you. I was your little girl, and I never even got the chance to meet you. It's so unfair, and I don't think I'll ever stop being frustrated about it.

Apparently you loved AC/DC, which I think is pretty cool. I wish I could've listened to your favourite songs with you, asked you about your music taste, and found out all those little things about you that make someone who they are. I wonder what other things you liked that I'll never get to know about.

I've been struggling with my own mental health, dad, and honestly, I'm scared. I've experienced hallucinations and major anxiety for my entire life, and knowing you struggled with your mental health too makes me terrified of what my future might look like. I wish I could talk to you about it. I wish you could reassure me that I'm going to be okay, and that I'm not destined to go through the same things you did.

I wish I knew what you were like. What made you laugh? What were you like when you were happy? What would you think of me? Would you be proud of me? Would we have been close? Would I have been a daddy's girl?

I have so many questions, and it hurts knowing I'll never get to ask you any of them.

I wish you were here, dad. I wish I could hug you, hear your voice, and tell you about my life. I wish I could have had those little moments with you that other people get to have with their dads, even the ordinary, boring ones.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time just to meet you once. Even if it were only for five minutes, just so I could know what it feels like to have my dad there.

I don't know if I'll ever stop missing you, even though I've never known what it's like to have you here. I hope you know that your little girl wishes she could've met you. I wish things had turned out differently for you, and I wish you were still here.

I love you, dad. I wish I'd had the chance to tell you that in person.

Hello, I’m here for a second time. I didn’t have a father. I only say that to put into context that I’m not used to having help or counting on a dad. As a guy and at my age (32) ive started to try not to do it alone anymore.

Right now I’ve been single for 2 or so years after a long and deep relationship. I’ve done my best to mature, grow and focus more on my career, dreams and my relationships with family and friends during this time. My ex was a wonderful girl so for me it’s important to grow from my short comings that happened there. Anyway there’s a girl at work lol

I can’t tell if she likes me, she’s approached me to talk 2 times maybe a short few others. She and I always seem to end up running out of time to keep talking. 2 months ago I decided to ask her for a coffee chat like ppl do at work. She was very welcoming and when we talked it was easy and fun. I worked the courage to do it again. This time it was even better and we talked for like 45mins. Both times she’s said “let’s do it again”.

Even if she’s being nice and just making friends she’s not done anything that should kill my confidence.

It’s me. I doubt I am worthy a lot, it can be for any reason, looks, personality, culture, job, lifestyle… it’s liek im deciding for her and taking myself out of the equation. And this happens a lot when I’m working up the courage to talk to her or ask her to hang again. We barely interact at work as our teams sit in diff sides and our work atm for my clients doesn’t require her teams help.

What are 2 cents you’d advise your son if he was in this situation?

I deff need some encouragement. I am doing my best but I’d still appreciate some supportive dad energy.

Thank you in advance

I feel terrified like I have nowhere to turn the world just feels so scary and I can't find kindness anywhere. I'm supposed to be an adult but I am just a frightened child inside I feel like I can't trust anyone no one feels safe. I wish someone would just come along and save me life feels like a nightmare I need to wake up from

It's just me here, and I'm not particularly heavy nor do I "throw" myself down on the toilet seat. But the little plastic bolts keep coming loose and then the seat slides to one side. I am constantly tightening the bolts. I even went out and got a new toilet seat because the bolts were stripped on the other one. But now the new toilet seat is doing it too. Do I just have the wrong kind of seat? What am I doing wrong??

You made my entire life hell. The marks of what you have done to me will be on my body for the rest of my life. Our home never felt like home. It was just a place I needed to survive and it was like that for as long as I can remember. Im not gonna pretend mom was much better but she atleast minded her own business if I stayed out of her way.

The last time I spoke to you was when you discovered I had a plan for a life without you and mom. You couldnt handle me having a future. I knew you were gonna do everything you could to stop it, so I ran away. I went to boot camp knowing it was my ticket to a normal life. Not just 3 meals a day and a bed to sleep in, but a chance to find real family. People who dont beat me up for look at them wrong or starving me because they would rather spend money on beer and drugs. When I graduated I cried cause I had no one there for me. But I shouldnt have cried because of that. Im better off without you and mom.

I’ve been trying to get my foot in the door for a Solution Architect opportunity for 4 years. I had been volunteering my time to contribute to the architecture team at work since early this year and I found out from the architecture manager that I’m 1 of 2 candidates shortlisted for the junior architect opportunity.

But as my luck goes, I found out my department manager has been blocking people from moving outside of our department which his actually not supposed to do but his doing it anyway… So I know that even if I get this role, the likelihood of being able to transition into it is slim.

It’s a shame because, I had a similar experience 2 years ago. Again an architect opportunity came up with a past employer and I’d worked hard to earn that opportunity… but I was blocked by a program manager that cared more about what I can do for him then my aspirations as an individual.

I’m quietly frustrated Dad because I’ve always been a hard worker, staying back later then others, putting my all into my work and producing work that other people find value out of and I’ve even had experienced architects advocate for an opportunity for me because they believed in me and wanted to see me grow in the trajectory of a focused architect role… But this will be the second time that despite my efforts and earning opportunities to move into an Architect role, I’ve been blocked by someone else’s agenda… I’m trying not to be angry because I don’t want to be bitter. But I don’t want to change companies and rely on the good will of delivery management again, only to be blocked by another selfish delivery manager who sees sees me as a resource to be used and not a human being with aspirations of their own.

I don’t know what to do Dad, or how I can achieve my goal without repeating the same cycle. What should I do?

I don’t know what to write but I just want to talk to you. It’s been just over 3 months since you passed away and I still don’t feel like it’s real. I think I forget and times like now I’m sitting here feeling it all over again but I hate how fast time has gone by already already.

I miss you, Dad and I will miss you always.

I would love to know what you got wordle in today and which jigsaw you’re working on.

I love you with my whole being, Dad. You’re the kindest person I have ever met and the world will never be the same without you.

I hope you’re ok Dad, I can’t wait to talk to you again.

i feel so stupid typing this genuinely. i have no mama, no dad, nothing.i’ve been drinking pretty much everyday, it doesn’t really help at all. i see daughters n their dads outside and i get so upset over it, because it’s all i’ve ever wanted. all i want is someone to say i’ll be okay, even if it’s not true. im nineteen and can’t help but feel like my life is over.

i don’t know what to do. with anything really. sorry if this isn’t the right way to word this, i just don’t know what to do.

since im in my drop year studying for college entrance, ive lost contct with all my school friends, don't have any friends online or offline, and constantly get ab*s*d at home, emotionally, physically, mentally and verbally, which lead to my emotional outbursts. im literally cry half the week and the other half im just numb. my birth-givers call me a failure constantly, put words in my mouth and then get mad that i am a bad daughter. i looked online for videos where people cosplay as a parent to get some virtual comfort after crying for hours today but didnt find any. found this sub just now so im rambling here. 19 years without any form of love feel torturous. 6 more months till my entrance exam, i havent studied much for it but i am going to work my ass off these next 200 days and am hoping to get away from them and this town