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I feel this is the best place to come in my situation. I've posted in a few groups and have not gotten expected results.

I 31m fear I am being cheated on by 35f of 4 years. I am an OTR trucker and she's increasingly become shy or protective of her devices. Most recent I woke up while I was home in the middle of the night to see her on her phone but she quickly turned it off and pretended to sleep. Other groups have suggested I go through her devices but I don't want to do that.

I am hopeful one of you may be able to help me figure it out once and for all by messaging her and seeing what she does. Please message me if you can help.

I don’t know whether I’m overreacting here. My significant other (M) has been helping a long distance friend (F) cope with the health decline of an older family member. They had briefly dated before he and I met and got together. She claims that no one in her life except my partner has experienced loss like this (death of a grandparent), so he wanted to be there for her. I don’t know how often they talked on the phone but it could have been anywhere from once a month to once a week for 6 months. Ordinarily this wouldn’t bother me but in recent months he’s started mentioning her more often, saying that she’s been coming to him for advice about her relationship, that she looked me up on Instagram (we’ve never met), and that she’s started comparing herself to me saying things like “you upgraded; that makes me feel bad.” I said that since they’re such good friends (he’s the only friend he mentions often) I look forward to meeting her. He replied that they weren’t close and he didn’t want us to meet. I asked why and he said “I don’t know, she might start trash talking me or you might seduce her” (I’m bisexual and have no history of getting with anyone during our relationship). Another time when discussing our sexual preferences, he tells me intimate details of what this friend liked in bed that he didn’t like. I found it odd that he wanted to specify he was talking about her.

Around this time we also opened our relationship for physical encounters only. He told me she learned this from him and started cracking jokes she used to make when they dated like “when we buy that house in…”, comparing her bf unfavorably to mine saying he’s better than hers, talks about marrying my boyfriend, and proposed she visit him in his city next weekend. My boyfriend said he felt uncomfortable shutting it down harshly since she was going through a hard time, so he lied and said he’d be out of town that weekend. He also told me he didn’t immediately realize how disrespectful her jokes had gotten because he was multitasking during their calls and only half listening. What he did say to her were things like “I don’t think that’s the type of open relationship I’m in” and eventually saying he was in love with me and that he “doesn’t see that changing anytime soon.”

He says he feels guilty for not handling it better and he feels she spoke disrespectfully about me. He says he’s stopped talking to her but she keeps liking his posts on social media, which I find odd. He also says he can unfriend her or block her if I want but he hasn’t felt it was necessary unless I ask. And on top of all that, he now claims they didn’t “date,” they just hooked up and hung out…the way people do on dates. How bad is this? Am I overreacting to be hurt?

So just a little back story, a year ago My wife left me and started a relationship with another man, one she worked with. I cleaned up my act, stopped drinking, forgave her and won her back. with that being said, I fully believed we were going to start anew, start fresh and things were gonna be great, and they have been, been the best it's been in years. But the other day I felt something in my gut tell me to pick up her work phone, I did and I found her history on Google AI asking to find her a messaging app for a secret lover that can be hidden and disguised and not traceable and all kinds of shit. So I just don't know what to do. I feel as if I address it, I'm gonna leave her, but maybe I just act like I never saw it and ignorance is bliss? Idk. I'm at a crossroads here and I just don't know what to do

Which Kardashian sister you think loves incest the most get voting and dm me

Go wit ur gut

Hey yall just wanted to get this off my chest never let ur guard down . ppl even close to u will do u wrong the moment u turn around. Those are the worse and hit the most sensitive spot. How i cope is be strong dont let it take over ur positivity u did nothing wrong. Smile and tell them God bless yall and light up a fatty of some hawaiian grn

Which female celebrities you think had relationship on set behind everyone's back. Also after when making movies and series was finished. Dm what you think.

My wife and I have been together for 9 years, and we have a 6-year-old together.
About a week ago, I was going through her phone, which we are sharing at the moment because mine got disconnected. I pretty much kept it with me during the week while she worked, mainly in case I received a call from a job. I ended up scrolling through her pictures because I wanted to see photos of all of us, especially ones I hadn’t seen before.
After going through the pictures, I stumbled across some intimate photos of her and screenshots of conversations she had with one of her coworkers from 3–4 years ago. Some of the conversations were pretty erotic, while others were about arguments between me and her.
My stomach knots up just thinking about it.
I immediately talked to her about what I found. She told me that she started talking to him during a time when she and I were fighting a lot. Nothing physical—just really bad arguments. She said she needed someone to talk to, so she chose her coworker who she had developed a crush on.
Apparently, things between them eventually went bad. From what she told me, he ended up blocking her on Facebook because they weren’t getting along, told her they had nothing in common, and said he hated her.
I asked her if they were ever a “thing” or if anything physical ever happened between them while I wasn’t around. She denied that anything physical happened. I also asked if she had ever sent him the intimate photos I found, and she denied that as well.
What makes this even harder for me is that I also worked with this guy at the time. I talked to him all the time. I was friendly with him and considered him a buddy and coworker, completely unaware of what was going on between him and my wife.
Knowing what I know now makes me feel like a complete idiot. Thinking back on all the times I interacted with him while he had been talking to my wife behind my back makes me feel incredibly belittled and embarrassed.
At this point, I honestly don’t know what to believe. She kept this from me for 3–4 years, and now I can’t help but wonder what else she may have kept from me.
When I look at her now, I feel like I’m looking at a different person. That’s probably the hardest part to explain. I still love her with all my heart, but my trust in her has definitely been shaken, and it’s driving me crazy.
I know this happened 3–4 years ago. I also know that our relationship is in a much healthier place now than it was back then. We’re doing really well, and our marriage is stronger than it was during the period when we were constantly arguing.
She has expressed how sorry she is and told me that she’s wanted to tell me about it but was scared that it would hurt or upset me.
And honestly, I’m not angry. I’m shocked. I’m sad. I’m disappointed.
I never would have thought that our petty arguments would lead her to start talking to someone else. I genuinely thought we were going to power through that difficult period together and figure out how to do better, like couples do when they’re struggling.
But I was wrong.
While I thought we were working through our problems together, she was also talking to someone else. That realization absolutely breaks my heart.
I don’t even know if I would technically call it cheating, but emotionally, it feels pretty damn close.
I still love my wife. I still love the life we’ve built together. And I know that what happened was years ago. But finding out about it now has completely changed the way I see those years, and I’m struggling to reconcile the person I thought she was with what I’ve learned.
I don’t necessarily want anyone to tell me what I should do. I think I just really needed somewhere to put all of this because I’ve been carrying it around in my head, and I needed to get it off my chest.

Ich(26 M) mittlerweile bald acht Jahre mit meiner Freundin (W. 24) zusammen.

Seit einiger Zeit sehe ich sie immer wieder viel auf Snapchat schreiben allerdings nicht mit wem sobald ich in ihre Richtung schaue wären sie schreibt, dreht sie das Handy weg, unterbricht ihren Text oder schaltet das Handy aus und legt es weg.
Habe es letztens auf ihrem iPad Bilder in ihrer Galerie gefunden von Snaps von einem Typen, der sie anzügliche Sachen fragt zb. „Bist du ein braves Mädchen?“
„ ein Titten Bild würde meine Stimmung heben“, „ dass er sie gerne von vielen Männern ficken lassen würde“ etc. etc.

Ich hab sie bisher nicht darauf angesprochen, da ich nicht weiß wie und wann. Was würdet ihr tun?

Molto recentemente ho concluso una relazione a distanza durata per circa 4 anni con la mia ex compagna ed ex-migliore amica, dopo aver scoperto che lei mi nascondeva un rapporto molto intimo che stava istaurando con un suo collega di lavoro.

So che magari poteva sembrare qualcosa di innocente si primi occhi, ma il modo in cui lei aveva smesso di parlare con me come faceva un tempo, raccontarmi bugie o scuse per non sentirmi più quotidianamente, mi nascondeva la posizione, e passava la maggior parte del tempo delle nostre videochiamate a ridere massaggiandosi con qualcun’altro , e aveva iniziato a delegare molte delle attenzioni a lui mi ha fatto scattare l’istinto, fino a quando il tutto è scoppiato definitivamente quando scoprì da parte di terzi che lei rimaneva con lui ben oltre le attività lavorative e rientrava tardissimo alle luci dell’alba.

Dunque si sono stato tradito, se non fisicamente almeno emotivamente, e io questo non lo ho potuto accattare anche se ero fortemente innamorato di lei e avevo fatto tanti progetti su il nostro futuro, e avevo anche iniziato a fare i primi passi effettivi per riavvicinarci fisicamente, quindi ne sono rimasto molto male.

Il fatto è che non so più come agire per aiutarmi… sto regolarmente andando da una psicologa e cercando di restaurare al meglio i rapporti con la mia famiglia, ma purtroppo la voragine di perdere allo stesso tempo la mia ragazza e la mia migliore amica mi ha lasciato con un vuoto tremendo che mi fa star male tuttora.

Vorrei tanto provare a istaurare una nuova amicizia femminile, con cui connettermi, ma allo stesso tempo so che questo potrebbe essere semplicemente un modo che il mio cervello fa per cercare di anestetizzare il dolore… però non lo so il fatto di sapere per certo che la mia ex si era preparata un piano B di nascosto mi fa infuriare e pensare che in fondo me lo merito di cercare anche io altre attenzioni…

Ma allo stesso tempo mi sentirei in colpa per questa eventuale nuova amicizia che sarebbe costretta a dover sostenere qualcuno di rotto e in un fase di guarigione che non sa quando terminerà.
Cosa dovrei fare per stare meglio?

So basically my dad’s seen on the WiFi bill that apps like signal and Ashley Maddison have been used on our home WiFi. He’s been in arguments with my mum about it so He’s come to me asking if it was me before he then talks to my mum again. I want to find out if it’s true and was wondering if anyone had a way or strategy I could use to find out whether my mum is cheating or not? Any ideas?

Thanks

Ive been going out with my bf(well ex now) for about 5 months but last week he broke up with me after i told him i wouldnt be going to the club( this wasnt the reason he broke up with me, it just happened after that). Two days later it he went out and was makeing out with another girl my friend sent me a picture. Turns out it was the girl he told me not to worry about, I had recently seen his snapchat and that she was second on his bestfriend list so i was abit concerned and confronted him about it and he just said i was being dramatic. Also turns out this girls friend had messaged him they were frienly i already knew that, but she asked him if hed ever do her friend( the girl im not supposed to worry about) and he said no i have a gf but she asked him if we werent going out would he and he said yes, we were still bf gf at the time. Other girls had messaged him before this but he did tell me majority of the time about it and most the time it wasnt anything serious. I also did find out other girls had been telling him he was hot all that and he was still talking to them. He used to also use my snapchat account to message this girl that had to block him cuz her boyfriend made her block all the guys on her phone. Has he been cheating on me or does that class as cheating??? He never physically cheated on my whole were together but still?

Hey all,

I've posted a few times now about my break-up with my ex who cheated on me and lied about it for months. I just wanted some advice as I am finding this incredibly difficult.. I recently went and got the rest of my things from her parents, I then blocked my ex on everything - she is also now officially off the tenancy.

I am slowly starting to process / grieve all of this and the loss of my future with her and who I thought she was, we had such a loving/ and what I thought, respectful relationship until all of this happened. Anyway - yesterday her brother messaged me asking for the remainder of her things from our flat, there are things on the list which is more than fair as it's things that have gifted to her like some jewellery and her car log book. But she has listed, monopoly deal card game, some old towels, a small metal pot she used once which was like a £1!? She asked for a spice tin, which her Mum gave to me, it was just an old tin she found, filled it up with spices and gave to me as I cooked out of the both of us.... she has asked for this back, and this feels like she is trying to hurt me - she is living at home with her parents, she does not need a spice tin, plus you can buy them for less than £5!?

This honestly just feels so hurtful and I don't understand why I am being treated like I am the one who cheated on her!? It feels like she is being so spiteful, also that tin from her Mum meant a lot, because I have lost my Mum and that was a gift from my mother in law at the time. So it feels like she has asked for that on purpose, to hurt me.

I just want to understand why she is treating me like this, it feels like something mentally is going on here - she really coming from a place of lack!? Like you cheated, are still with the AP and I have let you move on, and yet you are being spiteful to me!?

Can someone please just reassure me I am not going mad, this is spiteful right!? I have given some context below to explain what happened between us, so this makes more sense...

Please, any helpful words of encouragement or if you have had similar experiences and can tell me how you managed this? I just want to move on, and this feels so disruptive to that. After this, I am going to tell her brother I do not want to be contacted again.

Thank you all so much!

For context:

My ex (31F) of 4 years had a workplace affair with a coworker who is 5 years younger than her and was also cheating on their own long-term partner. I (35F) discovered it on March 31st after accidentally seeing her ChatGPT confession detailing how they were falling for each other and they had been physical. She was comparing my worst traits to the AP's best parts, I had 'low mood' the AP was 'driven, independent and had a lust for life'. She also said I was 'black cat energy' and she was more 'golden retriever' - I never knew her to speak like this, so I am assuming this the 25 year old AP's language!?

I am just trying to understand how someone could blow up 4 years of stability for a workplace affair like this. For the three months prior, she completely pulled away, claimed she was "severely burnt out," and made me feel insane for picking up on her distance. Everyone in our life was shocked because no one thought she was capable of this level of deceit—and because everyone was fooled, I’ve started gaslighting myself, second-guessing my reality, and wondering if I’m somehow making too big a deal out of this or if it was my fault.

During the affair I had a cancer scare, she didn't attend any appointments even the day after I found out I had to go for a biopsy, she went to work. When I later said she was having an affair whilst I was going through that on my own, she replied 'I still cared about you'. I had just spent the last 2 years supporting her financially and emotionally whilst she was studying for a masters to qualify as an occupational therapist. I went through the sudden death of my Mum with her 2 years ago, during this time she was my rock. Sadly, two days after my passed my suspected heart failure, my exes Mum pretended she nearly died from blood clots near her heart. It later turned out she had lied, and gone to Turkey for liposuction and made this up. Telling my partner when it came out 'You have always put your partners first'. Her Mum has also been cheating on her Dad for many years (my ex was the first to discover it and tell her Dad, but nothing changed). She has always said she hates cheaters and doesn't want to ever be like her Mother. She offered me "feedback" on my relationship performance to justify why she cheated, telling me it was "good for me to hear." When I voiced suspicions earlier, she weaponized her family background by asking, "Look at my Mum, do you really think I could do that?!" —only to later compare her own shock and grief at her actions to the trauma of her ex dying by suicide.

She repeatedly dangled future hope by saying, “Maybe one day we can try again," admitted the thought of me moving on made her "stomach flip," and smirked when I called her the love of my life—all while refusing therapy, accountability, or any real commitment.

I have since changed the locks to our flat so she can’t get in, I gave all her stuff back and am taking her name off the tenancy. She agreed to pay this months rent but she came to my flat the day before she was meant to pay demanding a playstation console back I got her for Christmas, I said no.

She has not returned the key and not paid me the rent, but is telling me to update her when she is off the tenancy. She has become so horrible and almost emotionless like I am the one who had the affair ant ruined her life!? She honestly just looks empty behind the eyes, it's scary.

I just wanted some advice because my brain keeps looking for solutions, I am blaming myself, wondering what I could of done differently but also now telling myself, she is a qualified occupational therapist now, she is most likely going to earn lots of money, save whilst she is at her parents, run off into the sunset with the AP or new partner and I was just basically used.

I do keep reminding myself that regardless of whatever she does / her life looks like.. she is capable of this level of deceit and that is a character flaw and that she is clearly quite empty.. but it doesn't hurt any less or make this any easier.

My GF Is 23 , she is fair skinned, medium height and very beautiful.

Last year a new student took admission in our college and he was from my GF's school. As I was really in doubt about my GF's loyalty, I intentionally became close to that guy . HE DIDN'T KNEW SHE'S MY GF.

after becoming friend to him we used to talk about girls , one day I showed him my gf and asked him you know her ? I want to ask this girl.

And the boy said yeah she's really sexy and yeah she'll agree . I asked why he's so sure, he said bro this girl was my senior in the school and she's had dated many guys in school times so she'll agree with me too.

He also told me that there was a senior of her in the school who had probably fucked my GF many times .

He said that this girl was slut in her school time . I was sad and rock hard at the same time imagining all this .

What should I do?

my boyfriend (20m) and me (20f) have been together for 3 years. one day back in 2024 i was sending him reels on instagram and noticed he wasn’t responding but was active but i wasn’t worried about it. around this same time he was always annoyed with things i’ve done or said. anyways back to instagram he then texted me back saying he just got scammed. ofc i asked what he meant and he said a “girl” and went on to tell me that he was on a camera website that he usually uses called “live jasmine” and masturbates with women and he gave them his instagram and they kept going on there but when he was doing stuff they didn’t show anything but recorded and threatened to send the video to his followers. he sent money and fr i think only texted me because he was freaking out. i was so upset and hurt and he said it was only to get a nut off and that it was his “first time using instagram for that” and then proceeded to say this which stuck with me “i don’t see it as cheating bc of my intentions especially since it is online and there’s pretty much no possible way for me to meet these ppl” and that afterwards he would unfollow them. i didn’t see him for months after that because i was so hurt. he doesn’t have instagram anymore. but just today i was texting him for maybe 35-45 minutes and he was not answering and usually he’s ontop of it unless he’s at work but he was at home. and when i was over his house this weekend we had sex and usually after not seeing me for 6 days our sex is about 5 mins but he clearly had to have been doing something in those 6 days because he couldn’t finish. which really threw me off and kinda made me think about it. back to today i noticed he wasn’t answering and texted him to call me and immediately he calls me. like he was on his phone and asked what i wanted and sounded annoyed and quiet maybe to get off the phone? i asked what he was doing he said laying in bed watching tik tok. so i tried to talk a bit and he didn’t really seem like he wanted to talk so i hung up. then again tonight i texted him asking wyd at 9 no answer. then he responds at 9:45 saying getting ready for bed right now and i texted back and no response again. i feel like maybe i’m seeing a pattern of how he acts? i don’t know if i’m overthinking it i just know every time we are together we have sex a lot. so when we aren’t is he doing that again? am i overthinking this or should i talk to him? is any of this considered cheating with the live cams and instagram?

Hey all,

I have included my reason post for context… this an update from today (28th August), I always knew this would he difficult but I’m finding today particularly challenging as I went and collected the remainder of my stuff today from my exes parents house… and they basically said they were so disappointed with her behavior, she is distant, her Mum (I have to be careful with anyway) said she is never at home, seems vacant and is defiantly seeing the affair partner and has even sneaked her into their house when they were away. They said this is her pattern and she always does this, but they miss me and she just seems to be running from herself. I think it was hard for me to hear she is still seeing the AP, Im not surprised but its just hard as Im still grieving the end of the relationship and she has jumped into someone elses bed. I guess thats the avoidant though….it was bittersweet with her parents because they genuially seem to care about me, and I do miss them. But also her Mum mentioned a picture of her and a girl in her room, and I said I do not want to see it. (Her mum can be quite toxic). But all said I was very good for their daughter and they are disappointed with her.

Has anyone got any advice / words of kindness for me right now, I guess Im feeling quite triggered and just so easily replaced?

Thank you SO much everyone! ❤️

For context:

My ex (31F) of 4 years had a workplace affair with a coworker who is 5 years younger than her and was also cheating on their own long-term partner. I (35F) discovered it on March 31st after accidentally seeing her ChatGPT confession detailing how they were falling for each other and they had been physical. She was comparing my worst traits to the AP's best parts, I had 'low mood' the AP was 'driven, independent and had a lust for life'. She also said I was 'black cat energy' and she was more 'golden retriever' - I never knew her to speak like this, so I am assuming this the 25 year old AP's language!?

I am just trying to understand how someone could blow up 4 years of stability for a workplace affair like this. For the three months prior, she completely pulled away, claimed she was "severely burnt out," and made me feel insane for picking up on her distance. Everyone in our life was shocked because no one thought she was capable of this level of deceit—and because everyone was fooled, I’ve started gaslighting myself, second-guessing my reality, and wondering if I’m somehow making too big a deal out of this or if it was my fault.

During the affair I had a cancer scare, she didn't attend any appointments even the day after I found out I had to go for a biopsy, she went to work. When I later said she was having an affair whilst I was going through that on my own, she replied 'I still cared about you'. I had just spent the last 2 years supporting her financially and emotionally whilst she was studying for a masters to qualify as an occupational therapist. I went through the sudden death of my Mum with her 2 years ago, during this time she was my rock. Sadly, two days after my passed my suspected heart failure, my exes Mum pretended she nearly died from blood clots near her heart. It later turned out she had lied, and gone to Turkey for liposuction and made this up. Telling my partner when it came out 'You have always put your partners first'. Her Mum has also been cheating on her Dad for many years (my ex was the first to discover it and tell her Dad, but nothing changed). She has always said she hates cheaters and doesn't want to ever be like her Mother. She offered me "feedback" on my relationship performance to justify why she cheated, telling me it was "good for me to hear." When I voiced suspicions earlier, she weaponized her family background by asking, "Look at my Mum, do you really think I could do that?!" —only to later compare her own shock and grief at her actions to the trauma of her ex dying by suicide.

She repeatedly dangled future hope by saying, “Maybe one day we can try again," admitted the thought of me moving on made her "stomach flip," and smirked when I called her the love of my life—all while refusing therapy, accountability, or any real commitment.

I have since changed the locks to our flat so she can’t get in, I gave all her stuff back and am taking her name off the tenancy. She agreed to pay this months rent but she came to my flat the day before she was meant to pay demanding a playstation console back I got her for Christmas, I said no.

She has not returned the key and not paid me the rent, but is telling me to update her when she is off the tenancy. She has become so horrible and almost emotionless like I am the one who had the affair ant ruined her life!? She honestly just looks empty behind the eyes, it's scary.

I just wanted some advice because my brain keeps looking for solutions, I am blaming myself, wondering what I could of done differently but also now telling myself, she is a qualified occupational therapist now, she is most likely going to earn lots of money, save whilst she is at her parents, run off into the sunset with the AP or new partner and I was just basically used.

I do keep reminding myself that regardless of whatever she does / her life looks like.. she is capable of this level of deceit and that is a character flaw and that she is clearly quite empty.. but it doesn't hurt any less or make this any easier.

Hi everyone! 👋

I’m a Master’s student in Professional Counselling at the University of Malaya, currently conducting a qualitative research study on the experiences of betrayed partners following infidelity in marriage.

I’m hoping to speak with Malaysian adults (18+) who have experienced infidelity by a spouse during a current or previous heterosexual marriage, and who are comfortable communicating in English or Mandarin.

🗣️ One confidential online interview (60–90 minutes)
🎓 Academic research only
🔒 Voluntary, confidential & anonymised
✅ UMREC approved — Ref: UM.TNC(P&I)/UMREC/3/6475

Thank you for reading. 🙏