Late 30s guy, living downtown and trying to rebuild a social circle after a breakup.
I moved to Calgary, met someone, and over time her social circle naturally became mine as well. We’ve since broken up, and I’ve realized I’m in the slightly uncomfortable position of not really having my own network here. I don’t have family in Calgary, and without someone to help break the ice into an existing group, I’m finding myself a bit lost.
Just to get this out of the way up front, I’m already in therapy and dealing with the breakup there, so I’m not looking for new friends to become my therapists or spend our time listening to me process it. I’m looking to move forward and build a life and social circle of my own.
With the next few months coming up, I’m also conscious that spending too much time alone can get pretty daunting, so I figured I should actually put myself out there instead of hoping friendships somehow materialize.
I’m not looking to date. I’m genuinely looking for platonic friendships and people to do things with.
A bit about me:
I’m not especially stereotypically “guy-ish.” Sports and cars do very little for me. I tend to get along particularly well with women and queer people, although I’m open to friendships with anyone I click with.
I’m much more into art, design, museums and galleries, wandering around downtown and Inglewood, good food, cocktails, wine, coffee, and generally having reasons to get out of the apartment and enjoy the city.
In classic post breakup fashion, I’m also getting back into fitness. I’m slowly training toward a half marathon in the spring, with the vague ambition of doing a full marathon in the fall if training goes well. Emphasis on slowly I am very much not a natural runner. I’ve also started weightlifting, although I’m currently at the “quietly figure out what I’m doing without witnesses” stage rather than looking for a gym buddy.
I’d also really like to get out hiking more. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I’ve always been a little intimidated by the idea of joining an established hiking group and being the slowest person in the pack. I’d just really like to meet people who are around a similar ability level and are happy with a more relaxed pace, breaks when needed, and actually enjoying being out there rather than treating every hike like a race.
I’m also interested in trying some nerdier hobbies that I never really had an entry point into before. I’ve been looking into D&D and Magic The Gathering, but I’m a complete beginner at both. If you’re the kind of person who enjoys introducing a newcomer to either without expecting them to know what they’re doing, that would be very welcome.
Politically, I’m quite far on the liberal/progressive end of the spectrum, and compatibility there probably matters to me more than pretending it doesn’t.
I’m also firmly childfree and would ideally like to meet other childfree people, or at least people whose social lives aren’t primarily centred around parenting. It’s less about being anti-kid and more about wanting friendships with people who have a similar amount of flexibility for dinners, drinks, events, weekends away, spontaneous plans, and generally doing things around the city.
Location wise, downtown/inner city would be ideal. I don’t have a car, and I’m hoping to build a social life that actually exists around where I live rather than something that requires a 45-minute commute every time.
I suppose what I’m looking for is a few people in roughly the same stage of life who want to actually do things drinks after work, dinner, exhibitions, museums, markets, walks, trying new restaurants, maybe games, occasional events, and eventually the kind of friendship where you can text someone on a random Thursday and see what they’re doing.
If any of this sounds familiar or you think we might get along, feel free to send me a message.
Edit: This got a lot more responses than I expected. I’m a bit out of my element here since I don’t normally put myself out there like this, so I’m being a little cautious and taking my time going through DMs.
I’ll reply as I work through them. And if this post struck a chord with you too, please feel free to use it as a jumping-off point to connect with others and build some community here.