I’m finding this difficult to write, but I could really use some advice. I know Reddit can be blunt, and I’m open to honest answers. I’d just appreciate some kindness because I’m struggling quite badly at the moment.
I have around five years of Big 4 experience and a first-class degree in Accounting and Management. I completed my ACA Certificate Level exams, but since then, my progress has been a mixture of failures, deferrals and trying to get myself well enough to work and study again.
Over the years, I’ve dealt with significant physical and mental health problems, family difficulties and periods of sickness absence. I eventually sought psychiatric help because I couldn’t understand why things had become so difficult, and I was diagnosed with AuDHD. Occupational Health has been involved, and the firm has provided study and workplace adjustments, although how these worked in practice varied between teams.
Before all of this, I was someone who did well academically. Failing exams was unfamiliar, and my confidence took a much bigger hit than I expected. Since then, every attempt just feels frightening.
My performance reviews were generally good until more recently. I received an underperforming rating largely because of utilisation, despite positive comments about my work quality. In the last busy season, my work also fell below expectations on a difficult audit after periods of interrupted work and smaller assignments. A performance improvement plan is now being arranged.
I’ve also just failed further ACA exams despite spending considerable time preparing. This was my second attempt (although this was reverted to first attempt by a moderation panel due to the health issues I had faced). During the exams, I struggled with anxiety and my mind repeatedly went blank while I worried about what failing would mean for my job especially with the performance plan. I recognise that choosing to sit meant declaring myself fit to sit. However, with several deferrals already, I also felt considerable pressure to make progress.
I’m now unsure whether to keep pursuing the ACA. My training file is signed off and my practical work experience requirements are complete, so leaving without qualifying feels difficult, especially with the amount of time I have invested in this. At the same time, I’ve started to dread accounting, and I can’t tell how much of that is the profession itself versus the stress I associate with it. I also remain at the same grade and watching everyone else move ahead has become increasingly difficult and embarrassing.
My confidence has taken a real hit. I know I have experience, but the interruptions and lack of exam progress make it difficult to work out which jobs I could realistically move into. I have significant financial commitments, so leaving without a plan would be difficult.
My main questions are:
- Does it make sense to apply elsewhere while engaging with the performance plan?
- What roles could suit someone with five years of Big 4 experience but only Certificate Level exams completed, particularly outside audit?
- Has anyone successfully transferred internally in similar circumstances?
- Has anyone completed the ACA independently after leaving their training employer? How manageable was it financially and practically?
- How did you decide whether to continue qualifying or pursue something different?
I’d really appreciate practical and honest but constructive advice, particularly from anyone who has rebuilt their career after something similar. I’m feeling overwhelmed and trying to find a sustainable next step.
Thank you in advance.