I'm not jealous or anything and happy she uses her toys. She also very much enjoys us together but the toys are just simple and straight to the point for her.

i encourage she could try more and am trying to buy more toys for heras gifts for her birthday or our anniversary so we can try them out together. She used to be kinda shy about the whole thing, but lately she seems genuinely excited about sex. She even started leaving these bright, colorful Tracy’s Dog toys right on the nightstand.

if she isn't getting there during sex, I'll take the toy and hold it on her myself. I was actually pretty shocked one time when she started crying out right after she came. She looked at me and said no guy had ever done that for her before.

She told me later how hard it actually is for most women to come, and that a lot of her girl friends are just faking it every time. For guys, it's super easy, but for women, it's totally different. A lot of guys have zero idea how to actually make a girl feel good sometimes it's a size thing, sometimes it's just the wrong angle or position. not sure about it

I bring this up with my guy friends, they just laugh at me and make fun of it.

I really don't get why they act like that. Is it actually weird for couples to use vibrators together, or are my friends just missing out?

Hello all.

I'm a thirty-six old man and me and my wife got recently divorced.

My question does not involve financial/legal stuff, all of those are taken care of, but exclusively the emotional part of it.

My wife out of nowhere started being indifferent towards me, and started pointing everything bad i did since we met. I'm very rational, so i told her that, indeed, i have flaws but everytime she told me what is wrong i worked on it and tried to adapt. For months she couldn't possibly remember a single good moment we had together, and we had plenty. Everything was bad, no exception.

I tried so hard to show her that it's not all bad, we're good together for many parts of it, and we can solve our problems, to her it didn't matter, and eventually we ended.

The problem for me is not that we're not together anymore, but how sad it felt that every good moment we lived were absolutely erased from her memory, when for me i always got attached to them, being the negatives the inconvenience we would try to solve, and i did put a lot of effort to solve them. Everytime i mentioned the good moments she would get even angrier, i couldn't understand what was happening, up to the point where she hated my guts for whatever i said. I tried to ask what she wants from me, what can i do, and it was all about 'now it's too late'. She had just decided to hate me, and it really was instant: this change happened literally from one day to the other, i remember exactly.

I don't think she cheated on me, i even know exactly what she did that day, she likes staying home. After a talk to a therapist, i think, is what changed everything. I got really heartbroken with the indifference and the inability to recognise the good things we had, and to know it disappeared in her head was very difficult for me to deal with.

I tell this in this sub because i imagine some of you have gone through this, and i'd like some advice on how to just let this go.

Thank you very much.

If you havent read the previous post, it’s below this update text, so if you wish to have some context you can go ahead and read it.

UPDATE POST:

Earlier today we spoke for the first time on the phone after our argument 3 days ago. I had initially sent him a message asking him if he could please send me some money to go get the haircut he so dearly wanted me to get, as well as money to go with my friends to the mall. 3 minutes later he called me, we exchanged hellos, and so he proceeded to instruct how I am to cut my hair, and that I am not to grow out my hair back to my “ugly” curls until I “finish my service”, it seems he is still delusional about my service in the army. I was anxious and so I just said yes to him, I obeyed him. He then began to bring up me leaving the army, expressing how disappointed he always is in me, also expressed his disappointment and anger when I set high goals and then fail to achieve them. He used two primary examples of this, one being the army (I was hyped about the army so I even joined a special forces branch, in which I left following the circumstances I was in) and also sometime 2 years ago when I was hyped about starting waterpolo and in the end left after a month because I was utterly mistreated by my instructor and also been avoided by my teammates. He explained that I give up on my goals the moment a small obstacle is presented in front of me. He continued to express that I am weak, and also I shouldn’t set goals because I fail to achieve them and give up on them. That which hurt the most is that he told my that I would ultimately fail to go to England to study English, and slandered my inability to achieve my ultimate dream, and that I am better off not studying and doing something else. The only thing where he said he takes his hat off as respect is when I achieved a GPA of 3.86 which he also expressed his disappointment as it was 3.96 before the exams, saying that because I faced a bit if pressure due to exams I again failed and in the end lowered my grade.

Before ending the call, he said “I know your soul is probably in pieces right now, but this is the truth.”

ORIGINAL POST:

I am 18 M, I went to visit my dad as I often do nowadays because he has recently been diagnosed with Stage 1A pancreatic cancer, thankfully the tumour was successfully removed and all is going relatively well, but I try to be there for him as much as possible to cheer him up and keep him mentally well because I love my father dearly and so does he.

For context, I live in a country where the moment you finish high school, you are subject to a temporary conscription to the army for over a year. I left after 2 months because I suffered from general anxiety, anxiety/panic attacks, bullying from peers within the base, anorexia, and depression. Because of my exemption now I have a whole hear to myself so I try to make the most of it. This has made me feel like a burden to myself, my family, and most importantly my father. I was unable to complete this service and simply drowned in these symptoms of mine, I am cursed with a sensitive nervous system so every emotion I feel is to the maximum.

As it had seemed, my father had a rough day to say the least, so he was already not in the mood beforehand. The moment he gazed his eyes upon me, he firstly criticised how I was dressed, calling me a moron because I wore shorts while it was chilly outside, to which I responded that I simply didn’t felt that cold. Then his criticism turned into anger, he did not like the look of my hair even though it’s simply a 2 month grown buzz cut as I plan to regrow my hair back to my curls. He threatened to send me back to the army if I don’t cut my hair, and that im ugly with it at this length, and that he has a madness I haven’t seen yet if I were not to cut it. I replied with telling him that it’s my hair and I decide what to do with it, I like it this length and I plan to grow it out anyways. He didn’t like that. We then left the house and went in the elevator. While in the elevator he slandered me for my plain black T-shirt, asking me if I ever look myself in the mirror when I leave the house, and that the shirt is of shit condition, I told him that I simply didn’t notice anything wrong with the shirt. Up to this point all this was tearing me apart within. Then we got in the car, while in the car he brought the discussion about my hair again, and then I decided to act, and told him with a collective demeanour “This is my hair and I choose what I do with it, I don’t understand you’re problem, I don’t want to shave it again. Look dad, you have to check your emotions, I understand you’re going through a lot and that’s why im here as your son to stick around with you, and from the moment I arrived you simply harass me.” His response was that of denial, and then he proceeded to weaponise my leave from the army against me, that all my friends are doing their service just fine and im at home doing fuck all, and for that reason I should keep my hair short. From that point on I shut my mouth, I was dead inside, and did not want to continue speaking.

The problem is, is that he always targets me for some reason whenever he is angry, he always tries to find a way to slander me, and reduce me. This would happen even before his diagnosis, my brother also did not do the army, yet he isn’t treated this way. If any dads in here can tell me if my fathers actions are valid because im a disappointment, please do so.

Thank you.

We’ve been together for a little over 7 months now, and were close friends for 6ish months before that. As we were purely friends for a while, we used to discuss dating and our physical types. While I am not his usual type, he’s never made me feel like I am anything less than beautiful to him, so I’ve never really given it much thought.

Then, we were in the car yesterday and he was talking about the gym, and asked why I stopped going. For context, I used to go frequently then hit a major depressive episode a few weeks ago and stopped. I sort of brushed it off and said I just wasn’t locked in enough, and he jokingly said I should start again cause he’s “investing” in me. I immediately questioned him about whether I wasn’t good enough for him as i am (because who says that to their gf??) and he said no, but then continued to say I could build an hourglass figure and a bigger butt. He then said my body was already perfect the way it is (I do naturally have an hourglass figure ??), and changed the topic.

Later, we were in his kitchen having dinner, and it was quiet and he looked up from his phone and went “if I could change one thing about you, it would be that you’d give me head more.” It was incredibly out of the blue, and it had me wondering if he consistently is thinking of the ways I don’t fulfill his needs. Also, he almost never gives me head so I’m not sure what his problem is there.

I’m just wondering because that’s not the type of relationship we have. I’d never dream of critiquing his looks or suggesting improvements if he didn’t specifically ask, and that sort of thing doesn’t even cross my mind in the first place. He’s perfect to me. So, am I not good enough for him anymore? Does he not actually like me? Any thoughts are appreciated thank you

Do you remove old flames off social media?

I have deleted old ones when I don’t feel connected anymore. But the recent old flame from 3 weeks ago and we dated for a few months. He said he doesn’t think our medium distance would work and we both said goodbye. I’m contemplating to remove him because I just feel sad knowing he’s watching my stuff but he’s not in my life anymore. I cannot delete as feelings are raw and I still want him to come back.

I am a college fresher and now i am having difficulty to connect to people like most of time unless they start the topic, i dont know what should i say.

Its not like i cant talk, once the person initiate a talk with me i can carry it but i sucks at initiating talk i dont know what should i talk about with new friends, with old friend it comes naturally i initiate talk naturally and was the funniest and humourous person but now my head become empty and i stand awkwardly in the group unless someone start the talk with me.

And all my humour and funny part cant even emerge in front of new people, i dont know if it is hesitation or something else. Like all people are throwing talk and joking around in a group and i sit awkwardly silent and the thing is if same talk was in my old friend grp i will be talking and throwing jokes and meme references all the time.

How should i fix this am not confortable enough with new people or it is something els?

We're really close and are best friends. He's definitely someone I love platonically and he feels the same way. Both of us are not really into dating anyone right now.

Clearly we've both sort of put each other in the friendzone. We both find each other attractive and are very like minded. I feel like it's a very safe situation and would be comforable and fun to hook up with someone like that. We have flirted here and there and we basically act like we're in a relationship tbh but it's very VERY platonic.

So should I just break that wall and try and make a move on him and initiate intimacy with NO intention of relationship or feelings? If so, how would I do that as a female who is clearly deep in the friendzone?

I know I know just shoot my shot, and I’m working up to it but I don’t wanna ruin my favorite bar without a little reassurance. I’ve been frequenting this bar for 6 months now, and I totally have a crush on the bartender. Sometimes I feel like it’s mutual but I can’t get a good read, also there’s the whole a bartender is always just flirting for tips thing.

Reasons it might be mutual:
He comps like 50% of my drinks, but I always tip 50-100.
He’s grabbed me an Uber a few times when my phone died but won’t take the money back
We talk a lot, and he remembers a crazy amount of details about me even if I said it once. Like birthday., zodiac, my phone password. Who I was with, what they looked like. He even remembered the song I sung the night before
He reassures me a lot, someone commented how they didn’t like my music choices and for the rest of the night he’d tell me anytime someone complimented it
He defends me immediately
We talk about sex and preferences and my type
He eats off my plates
Everyone thinks we have something going on, even had random people asking if that’s my boyfriend

Reasons I’m confused af:
We did exchange numbers but we never text unless it like logistics
He doesn’t attempt to like hug me or touch me
He hasn’t asked me out or anything

My husband passed away last year. And we used to have a lot of debate type conversations with questions or philosophical type conversations. Kind of a meeting of the minds type thing, even if we've never 100% agreed with each other. Because we didn't insult each other we listened to each other and debate back-and-forth.

I would find it so hot. Later on, i figured out that i am Sapiosexual (turned on by intelligence). And since I'm out here, dating, I have noticed that when I tried to do some kind of back-and-forth debate or conversation, the guy gets defensive. Like I attacked him. Even though that is not what I did. I was just stating my opinion and waiting for him to hear me and state his and back-and-forth.

If there is obviously not a meeting of the minds, then we're not for each other. Then we just go our separate ways, no worries. But is there something I should be saying before hand? Like I'm not being combative. My tone is sometimes joking.... but i'm not sure that comes across.

Often times when men try to do something similar, they become aggressive and insulting. That is not what I'm looking for obviously. Maybe this is something only me and my husband had and finding it again would be near impossible.... but i'm still hopeful.

what do ya'll think? have you been in this situation? Advice Greatly Appreciated.

So I (23M) just broke up with my GF of 2 years. We met at uni and this was my first relationship, but unfortunately things didn't go well. She was manipulative and kept breaking the boundaries we agreed on, but I was hesitant to break up cause I genuinely loved her and wanted to make things work.

The thing that broke me was that I felt like I was doing everything I could for her and it was still never enough. She's from a lower socioeconomic background than me and my family opposed the relationship because of that, but I was still fighting for her and trying to make it work despite all the opposition. I really wanted to prove that we could make it work, but it felt like nothing I did was enough.

The funny thing is that I once overheard her family talking to her on the phone, and they were basically telling her that I'm a catch and that she'd be living a much better life with me than she'd ever get with anyone they knew 💀. They were literally telling her she should marry me cause she'd never find someone better, which makes everything that happened afterward even more ironic.

Before we broke up, I was going through burnout and asked her for just a week off to clear my head. She told me she'd give me all the time I needed, then literally a day later she came back saying that was enough time off and either we talk or break up. She also said she didn't trust me anymore, which honestly made me question the whole relationship cause if you don't trust your bf then why the hell are we even dating lol. Isn't trust literally the foundation of any relationship?

We eventually met to talk things out one last time, and she said something along the lines of "yeah I knew your family were bitches and wouldn't have accepted me anyway" while insisting that she's a good person and all that. The thing is, I was the one fighting against my family's opposition and trying to make this work, so hearing that from her felt like all the effort I put in meant absolutely nothing.

At the end I had to stand up for myself and end things. After the breakup I found out through common friends that she started shit talking me, and she even told people that we never dated cause she'd never date someone like me 💀 which I find funny tbh, especially considering everything I did to make the relationship work.

So yeah, sometimes I feel like I dodged a bullet and that I'll eventually find someone who appreciates me and loves me the way I deserve. Other times I start thinking what if I just lost the person I was supposed to spend my life with? What if I never find someone I love that much again? 💀

Since this was my first relationship, I honestly don't know if I'm looking at things objectively or if I'm just trying to convince myself that I made the right choice.

For the guys who've been through something similar, how did you know you made the right decision? Did you ever feel like you might've lost your only chance at love, and did that feeling eventually go away?

Hi!

So, my husband is the type to only be interested in sex when he is either in the mood or not stressed at all.
Now, I do make sure he isn’t stressed, I have that down, however he isn’t really in the mood at all.

Yes, there are times he would be but I want to help him get in the mood when I also am as well. When he’s in the mood, I’m usually not. And vise versa.

He does love me but getting aroused is hard for him unless he goes through a process. Is there an easy way I could help him?

(Manly asking so we can try for a baby)

Context on the friendship; I’ve been in his class since the start of seventh grade till the very end of highschool so about five years. It was only until ninth/tenth when we started to become closer and closer by the month. We graduated last year and this year we have been talking very regularly almost daily, and our friendship involves heavy banter/slight flirting and constantly teasing each other. he did also tell me he had a crush on me only in the ninth which I found funny because I did too (except I didn’t tell him)

Now in the last week of September and first week of October, we started sexting mutually trying to initiate a friends with benefits situation. I could not tell you what started it, however now that I look closer into it I regret it more and more. It was fun definitely, so last Tuesday we ended up meeting up, didn’t bang him but we did oral, well just me coz I wasn’t in the mood for him to go down on me. We were supposed to have sex but neither of us brought protection so we left it.

After that he kind of distanced himself and did not message me after, now he just lurks around my finsta whereas before he’d be constantly replying etc. ofc I know it was a stupid thing to do because in the long term it’s probably damaged our friendship a lot and I do really value him. Four days later on the Saturday I reached out he replied distantly however by the time I sent the third message he ghosted the conversation. It was going to lead up to when we are meeting again however the conversation did not make it to that message

The advice I need is, should I give him time before reaching out again or it’s a done and dusted and I should leave him alone. It’s been nine days since this situation, and five since I last tried talking to him. It does sadden me a bit because obviously it wasn’t a well thought out decision on my end at all, 100% taking accountability for the stupidity for trying to have that with a dear friend of mine and so I’d appreciate if the obvious wasn’t pointed out lol. but I’d regret it even more if I didn’t do something.
I do miss him a lot already.

Me and my boyfriend were both virgins until September. Before we had sex, he told me he probably wouldn’t be able to cum from sex (or any other sexual activity) because he used to have a porn and masturbating addiction which gave him “death grip syndrome”.
He does cum when I give him handjobs but only when I put a lot of pressure. Only recently did he cum from a handjob where I didn’t put as much pressure.
He’s become really embarrassed that he can’t cum during sex and I always tell him it’s fine and I want to know if there anything I can do to help? Or if there’s anything in his masturbation routine or something that can help

18m with autism. Socializing is such a chore that I just... don't wanna do it no more. Like, I'm sure I'm not supposed to feel this way at my age (yuck), yet people were just... awful in high-school. They either ignored me or made fun of me. Because of that plus social media, I don't wanna deal with that anymore. But, I'm open to suggestions, if you got any.

None of us want to look like a pussy, but no one wants to be an arrogant asshole. Most disagreements amount to nothing and are truly a waste of time. My ego strongly disagrees. If you just let people do what they do, they will test you and see what they can take from you. Give an inch and they take a mile. We should be generous though right?
I’m don’t trying to convince people of things. There’s so much discourse in the modern world and it all amounts to nothing.
The way I cope with it is “boundaries” but it could also be called avoidance. Maybe that means I fall more on the pussy side. I’ve always been taught to turn the other cheek, that anger is poison that hurts only ourselves. That feels naive. I don’t think I’m a coward. I think I just want to treat people well. I feel a deep cognitive dissonance when I weigh these values against emotions of revenge and retribution. What is righteous anger? Is it a fallacy? How do we decide when to pick up the sword or when to put it down?

I’m looking for some outside perspectives because this situation feels strange to me.
Last year, I dated a guy named Braden for around eight months. He stopped talking to me for nine days, then broke up with me over text and blocked me. About eight months later, he came back asking for another chance, but I didn’t want to get back together with him.
His mom got involved and accused me of being hateful and rude because I didn’t want to date him again. She also accused me of stalking him because I had occasionally asked how he was doing. While we were together, Braden had told me about things he wanted to do, like going to college, and I remembered those conversations. I was curious about how things were going for him, but I wasn’t trying to get back together with him.
After everything that happened, his mom blocked me everywhere.
Now, though, I noticed that she liked one of my Instagram pictures. I think she may have unblocked me and then liked it, but I’m not completely sure.
Am I the only one who finds this weird? After blocking me everywhere and saying those things about me, why would she suddenly like one of my pictures? Do you think she’s curious about me, has possibly changed her opinion, or am I reading too much into a simple like?
I’m not assuming it means anything for sure. I’m just confused by the situation and curious how other people would interpret it.

I'm about to turn 27 tomorrow and the fact that I'm already at this age without experience in that part of life is starting to really bother me.. my idea was just to experience it to get past what I feel like I'm missing out on.

My general life has improved a lot in terms of getting a better job, new apartment and I lost a lot of weight.. but no luck in the relationship side of things, I am getting out a lot more but I cannot seem to make any lasting connections with people not sure why.. but i'm trying.

I’m 21F and went to the bank today with my mom to sort out a pretty embarrassing banking mistake I made. Long story short, I accidentally deposited a few old cheques twice without realizing, which ended up getting my account shut down and having to get a new card. So yeah, not exactly my proudest moment lol…

The teller helping us was an older man, but the teller working right next to him was a guy around my age who was SO cute. Literally exactly my type.

The bank was completely empty, so he definitely heard the whole embarrassing situation. My mom also kept jumping in and speaking for me, which made me feel even more annoyed and embarrassed at 21. He helped the older teller with something at one point, so he was aware of what was going on. We made eye contact a few times but never actually spoke directly.

Anyway, the older teller called him by his first name a few times since he was helping us, and out of curiosity I searched it on Instagram afterward. He came up right away just from his first name because we live in a pretty small, close-knit area and have quite a few mutuals.
His account is private and now I’m debating sending him a follow request.

My hesitation is that he’ll obviously know I looked him up after seeing him at work. Plus, he just witnessed me having an embarrassing banking situation with my mom, so not exactly the first impression I would’ve wanted to make.

I also live in a smaller town where everyone seems to know everyone, so it’s not like I’m in a massive city where I’ll never see him again.

I’m also wondering about the timing. Would it be too obvious to request him the same day? Should I wait a few days, a few weeks, or even a month? Or should I just leave it alone altogether?

Would you find it weird if a girl you saw at work looked you up and requested you afterward, especially if you had mutuals? Be honest, would you shoot your shot or leave it alone? 🫣

I’ve tried moving twice. To different parts of the country. And both places were awesome but I kept hitting a wall of loneliness? And end up crying and coming back, even though I hate it here but my friend is here.

My brain is sabotaging me, I have very intense anxiety. I don’t know how to go on life feels really hopeless. Every time I move I always miss it when I’m back here, and when I get there I always have this wave of I don’t deserve this. Am I just too fucked up to ever be happy?

I really hate my hometown, the only times I feel at peace anymore seem to be when I’m driving long distances cause I don’t have to think. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere so it’s nice being in that in between but I know that doesn’t last forever. I dog walk for money and.. schooling is sorta on the rocks.

I know I still have time but I feel like a loser, I really don’t know how to get better. I feel so abandoned and stuck in my head.

Are my fathers actions towards me valid?

I am 18 M, I went to visit my dad as I often do nowadays because he has recently been diagnosed with Stage 1A pancreatic cancer, thankfully the tumour was successfully removed and all is going relatively well, but I try to be there for him as much as possible to cheer him up and keep him mentally well because I love my father dearly and so does he.

For context, I live in a country where the moment you finish high school, you are subject to a temporary conscription to the army for over a year. I left after 2 months because I suffered from general anxiety, anxiety/panic attacks, bullying from peers within the base, anorexia, and depression. Because of my exemption now I have a whole hear to myself so I try to make the most of it. This has made me feel like a burden to myself, my family, and most importantly my father. I was unable to complete this service and simply drowned in these symptoms of mine, I am cursed with a sensitive nervous system so every emotion I feel is to the maximum.

As it had seemed, my father had a rough day to say the least, so he was already not in the mood beforehand. The moment he gazed his eyes upon me, he firstly criticised how I was dressed, calling me a moron because I wore shorts while it was chilly outside, to which I responded that I simply didn’t felt that cold. Then his criticism turned into anger, he did not like the look of my hair even though it’s simply a 2 month grown buzz cut as I plan to regrow my hair back to my curls. He threatened to send me back to the army if I don’t cut my hair, and that im ugly with it at this length, and that he has a madness I haven’t seen yet if I were not to cut it. I replied with telling him that it’s my hair and I decide what to do with it, I like it this length and I plan to grow it out anyways. He didn’t like that. We then left the house and went in the elevator. While in the elevator he slandered me for my plain black T-shirt, asking me if I ever look myself in the mirror when I leave the house, and that the shirt is of shit condition, I told him that I simply didn’t notice anything wrong with the shirt. Up to this point all this was tearing me apart within. Then we got in the car, while in the car he brought the discussion about my hair again, and then I decided to act, and told him with a collective demeanour “This is my hair and I choose what I do with it, I don’t understand you’re problem, I don’t want to shave it again. Look dad, you have to check your emotions, I understand you’re going through a lot and that’s why im here as your son to stick around with you, and from the moment I arrived you simply harass me.” His response was that of denial, and then he proceeded to weaponise my leave from the army against me, that all my friends are doing their service just fine and im at home doing fuck all, and for that reason I should keep my hair short. From that point on I shut my mouth, I was dead inside, and did not want to continue speaking.

The problem is, is that he always targets me for some reason whenever he is angry, he always tries to find a way to slander me, and reduce me. This would happen even before his diagnosis, my brother also did not do the army, yet he isn’t treated this way. If any dads in here can tell me if my fathers actions are valid because im a disappointment, please do so.

Thank you.

I’m a 29 year old male, and I’ve been struggling with insecurity for as long as I can remember.
I was bullied in school and went through some difficult experiences during my childhood. I feel like those experiences have affected my confidence and the way I see myself, even today.
Because of my insecurities, I find it really hard to socialize with people. Even when I’m with a group of friends, I’m usually the quiet one who doesn’t talk much. Sometimes, I can’t even take a joke about myself and get offended very easily, even when I know they probably don’t mean any harm.
I’ve also never had a girlfriend. It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship, but I’ve never had the confidence to approach a girl. I always assume that she wouldn’t be interested in me anyway, so I don’t even try.
Over time, this has become a bigger problem. I’ve started isolating myself more and more, avoiding social situations, and sometimes feeling really depressed and lonely.
The worst part is that I don’t want to live like this. I want to be able to socialize, make connections, laugh at jokes without taking everything personally, and just enjoy life like everyone else seems to.
I know that a lot of this comes from my own insecurities, but I genuinely don’t know how to overcome them. I feel like I’ve spent so many years being this way that I don’t even know where to start changing.
I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation. I genuinely want to change and stop letting my insecurities control my life.

Today, my girlfriend called me while I was discussing something with my flatmate, so I cut the call and texted her that I was busy and would call her back in five minutes. She then texted like oh I can text her but not pick up for 1 min.

So I called her back immediately, but it still turned into a big argument about how I couldn’t even spare a minute for her and what work could possibly be so important. I felt hurt, so I went quiet, and later, when she asked what was wrong and I explained how I felt, the conversation somehow turned into another argument about why I hadn’t told her earlier and why I couldn’t just pick up the call.

As usual, I ended up apologizing, and my perspective was never really acknowledged. I understand that I could have handled things differently, but I had already texted her that I was busy and would call back in five minutes. I wasn’t ignoring her.

What hurts me is that whenever we have disagreements, things seem to turn around on me, and I end up apologizing while my side of the story gets forgotten. Am I wrong here, or is this an unhealthy communication pattern? How do you deal with a relationship where you feel like your feelings are never really heard?

Hi everyone, I’m looking for experiences on a situation I’m in. I really like a woman who is 9 months sober. Her partner died in a very traumatic way about three years ago. She fell into alcoholism during and after the relationship and got sober 9 months ago.
Is it a bad idea to establish a relationship with someone with this amount of sobriety after such a traumatic event? He was also the father of her 10 year old son.
She says she’s ready for a relationship but she still posts about him on Facebook on birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
She seems to be doing well and have her life together, but I’m wondering if this will lead to a lot of conflict and behavioural challenges. Thoughts?

I am Currently in college, throughout high school I was constantly made fun of and even after had a hard time at work with people. Constantly making degrading comments about me, like how I dressed, smell, hair or hygiene. I take care of myself, like everyone else does and I lift. Maybe I sweat a bit more than everyone but it gets excessive to the amount people say things to me. Makes me anxious to be around those certain people and I have recently found myself spending time alone which I’ve liked. But I feel like I just need to meet better people. Usually people who make these comments are close to me and think it’s funny, but it’s degrading. So I turn myself to other people who are more friendly and I can have casual conversation with. I’ve always have a hard time with people and don’t know what to do to make a healthy connection with someone.

EDIT: Since I’m getting comments about it. I try everyday to improve myself. I shower and take care of myself, brush my teeth, shower, use cologne and deodorant. I naturally sweat a lot so I have to use a special body wash. I wear gym shark clothing to the gym, I meal prep, I wear dress nicely everyday I would say better than most. I feel like majority of the feelings I get is jealousy because I have more than most people around me, not that it’s their fault.

Hi everyone I did not expect my previous post to blow up. It did so I figured everyone should get an update.

I ended it off with her. Immediately.
She told me that I was not giving her a chance to explain herself by breaking up over the phone. I told her that I cannot meet her because I’m afraid that she’s being manipulative.

After she met her ex
1) she still had the cheek to blast at me.
2) she was sending me intimate pictures.
It felt as if she did 1) to made it seem that I was equally wrong, 2) to soften the impact. Only to come clean afterwards. It felt very strategic. She was only looking to cushion the impact. Super manipulative.

I asked around other female friends and my sisters. While me being wrong to not fetch her may be debatable, everyone agreed ‘turning to my ex would NEVER be a casual thought off my head’.
Which I agreed. Some suspecting that no guy would just come down at 4am to pick a girl up and get nothing out of it.

Anyways, to those who said I should have picked her up regardless,
1) I now realise she’s a fully grown adult with no excuse to not get home on her own or have any sort of plan. It felt too intentional I feel. It feels too deliberate and I think it was a smart excuse to find her ex.
2) maybe true and if it is, I realise we are simply in two different phases of life. I’d love to lock in and get my degree, boundaries are important. She chose to party and be irresponsible.

Bottom line is, there is absolutely no way nothing happened between her and the ex. Something surely happened. I am also convinced they must have had conversations prior to this without me knowing. Nobody hits an ex out of nowhere to pick her up. She admitted that ‘exhausting her options’ was just me and her. No way she didn’t think of anyone else.

So I have ended it. I blocked her everywhere and told her to leave me alone. Thanks to those who validated how I feel, I needed that push because her crying made me so guilty.