I'm genuinely tired of dating apps. It feels like finding a guy who's my type, who's a top, and who actually wants a serious relationship is an impossible combination sometimes.

I don't want endless talking stages, situationships, or someone who disappears the moment things get real. I want a guy who falls for me, puts in effort, is affectionate, and is actually looking for a life partner.

For gay guys who've found that kind of relationship, where did you meet? Please tell me there's life beyond dating apps.

Background - I’m a newly divorced Dad on the wrong side of 30. Like so many others was closeted and in denial until recently. Have known I was into men since I was fairly and without going into too much detail my first crush was my best friend.

Finally ripped the band aid off and came out and apologized for the mess I’ve made. Family has been great and idk where id be without their support.

Now to the part I’m having trouble with. I don’t really have much experience with men outside of a few isolated hookups. I’ve been on a total of 2 dates that went well but nothing came from it.(My lack of)Sexual experience is sometimes fetishized or a concern that I wont know wtf im doing. I get the impression that the guys I’ve connected with were uncomfortable entering anything too serious with me due to concerns I might be “bi” or would go back to women.

To be clear, that isnt the case. Men give me butterflies. I’ve known I was a bottom before I knew what that even meant. I’m decent looking and keep in shape, have a stable career, and was successful dating women when I could convince to “give it one more try” even though my heart wasn‘t in it.

I thought dating men would be easier. Boy was I wrong. I could use some tips on meeting potential partners and keeping them interested. I’m generally a little introverted but can hold a conversation. Im not really into hookup culture (not judging) so id like to find something regular. All the guys I meet (admittedly on dating apps) want to breed me or get a bj and move on. How tf am I supposed to do this!? Am I considered too old to be a bottom or inexperienced?

Thanks,

A guy that just wants to find a boyfriend and happiness.

Specifically Northwich Sauna, UK. I'm 35.

How do these places usually work? I've never done anything like this before so a bit overwhelmed by the idea, but very excited!

I'm a bit worried about cleanliness and the possibility of catching something to be honest. Not planning on full sex just yet, but perhaps oral if it feels right.

How to know when it’s time to let go and move on? How to move on?

Here’s my story in short if you’re interested in the read, I. E. My dilemma of a life. I (30m) have been with my partner (32m) for almost 11 years. He’s been closeted the entire time, all throughout the years of living separately, to living together, to living separately again (reasons are always he worked for his parents, he lived with his parents, he can’t lose them) meanwhile I’ve sacrificed my youth and life for fractions of “borrowed” time with him. It’s been a HARD relationship the past few years especially. Time together ranges from 3 weeks to once a month. No phone calls. Only texts. No sex. No romance. I’ve tried but have always been met with resistance (always a reason like being tired, not in the mood, maybe later - which never happens)

I live alone. I’m lonely. I’m loyal and faithful and go to work and go home and sit there by myself. I want a life with someone. I yearn for that. I’ve put in so much time and energy into this. I don’t want to lose this, yet, ironically, I don’t know how to do this anymore. I worry that this is what all relationships lead to, resentment and lonely, lies, unfaithfulness, distance. I worry this is the only future I’ll have and so it’s stay with the thing ya know, orrrr risk it all and find something worse - especially for a gay man who would like a monogamous life with someone. -

Theres more to the story, I’m not perfect, I fuck up, I’ve hurt him, I didn’t know who i was when I was younger, I clung to unhealthy people because that’s what I knew. He showed me that there were people who weren’t like that. I fell in love HARD, and probably suffocated him with too much of my love and affection. I’m not the same 19 year old anymore. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve gone through a lot. I want more. But time has twisted our lives and we’ve lived separately for 5 years and each year he promises THIS IS THE YEAR, then it never is and I’m back to being alone and waiting.

Again, there’s more to the story but this is where I’ll leave it. Thanks for listening to the rant. Just getting to a point where the loneliness is turning into a dark road, and I don’t know where to go from here.

(Sleep token - gethsemane - is the that fits how I feel)

Hello everyone, I need help finding a gay or gay friendly doctor in S.E Michigan. My last 2 family physicians did not understand some of the issues I was going thru and made me feel quite weird and awkward about things. If you know any general practitioners or recommendations it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ❤️ Feel free to DM me

I’ve recently started dating someone who’s new-ish to my country and has a different mother tongue than I do. He’s smart, kind, sweet and passionate and I’m optimistic about him even though it’s early. I’d like to work on learning his mother tongue (which seems like it won’t be too difficult because there are a variety of free and available options for studying it where I live), but I feel like in the meantime part of me wonders if we will be missing parts of each other. I speak a few other languages to varying degrees and know that I can only fully express myself emotionally in my mother tongue, regardless of how proficient I am in others, so I wonder how much of him I will be missing while his English improves (it’s still quite good but he’s learning and improving while living here) and while I work on learning his.

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience with this (on either side) and any recommendations for ensuring ways to make sure that I’m not missing any opportunities to get to know him better and build something while also being aware that there are both cultural and linguistic hurdles to overcome at this stage? Again, I know it’s early so I might be a bit naive but I’m hopeful and it seems like we really click.