hello!

i don’t have a father figure but i could really use some dad advice right now. i was in the hospital for two weeks and now i’m behind on my thesis. the fear paralysis is gutting me.

only working on it will fix this but i’m so scared to start. i don’t know how to find a small part of it to start with because even just looking at the screen is making me tear up. i know i’m smart, i can always push through by making things itty bitty steps, but i’ve hit a wall and i can’t help myself out of it right now.

if your daughter called you from college in this moment, what would you tell her? i’ll take anything, genuinely. thank you for your time reading this!

Guys, my father caught me and my boyfriend at my place. Basically, we were making out when suddenly the doorbell rang, and it was my father. As soon as we realized it, we panicked. Instead of opening the door immediately, I kept him waiting outside for 15 minutes. He called me several times, but I didn’t answer because I had no idea what to do.

When my father finally lost his patience, I opened the door, and the moment he saw me with my boyfriend, he slapped me hard across the face in front of him and started cursing me out. I gestured to my boyfriend to run away ASAP.

Now, I’m scared of facing my boyfriend again because I keep wondering what image he has of me and my father after witnessing the whole incident. What should I do now??? And was that normal for my father to behave that way???

Anyone know how to navigate a relationship with parents that is split by politics. My dad is very maga hail trump etc. It hurts my feelings as a woman that he thinks mental health episodes are not real, abortion is murder, a woman should stay at home with kids( if not you dont love them), ice is good and needs no repercussion, we need to defund federal benefits and just so much more that is sexist, racist and homophobic. Im so tired of it and it makes me not like him. He generally narcissistic and will never hear me out when i explain how some of his views hurt me and offend me. I try to talk and he screams for me to go away or says his view will be right bc he served in the military. I am 22 recent graduate moving soon just looking for jobs etc. but i wanna have a good relationship but idk this is just preventing me from it.( this and his overall narcissistic habits lol). What do i do, can i get to him or is it a lost cause. Maybe ill feel better when im moved out and established… just sucks bc so many of his views look at me as less than.

I don’t really know where else to turn, so I guess I’m writing this here.

I think I may have hurt someone who trusted me, a girl who was pretty naive and inexperienced when it came to relationships. I’ve been looking back at everything that happened and questioning myself. Did I mess things up? Was I selfish? Did I fail to consider how she might have felt? Was I the jerk in this situation?

I’m not going to pretend I’m innocent or that I did everything right. I genuinely want to understand what happened, where I went wrong, and whether there are things about myself that I need to work on. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but I also don’t know how to make sense of everything I’m feeling right now.

Part of why this is hitting me so hard might have to do with my own upbringing. I grew up with an absent father, and I feel like there are things about relationships, responsibility, and being a decent man that I’ve had to figure out on my own. Sometimes I wish I had an older man I could sit down with, someone who could listen to the whole story, tell me honestly where I messed up, and help me understand what I should have done differently.

I’m not looking for people to tell me I did nothing wrong. If I hurt someone, I want to face that. I just need some perspective from people who have lived longer than I have and learned things the hard way.

I feel lost right now. I keep asking myself what’s wrong with me, why I handled things the way I did, and whether I’ve caused damage that I don’t fully understand.

If you’re an older guy, a father, or just someone who has been through complicated relationships, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing from you. I could really use some honest advice, even if it’s hard to hear.

I just need someone to talk to and help me make sense of this.

More specifically, I'm in the northeast and am debating on adding a water heater OR going tankless. What do I need to know so I dont get ripped off? I'm currently heating my water on demand through my oil burner, which I'm told will burn 3x the oil that I would have had I had water heater. Any help appreciated.

As i am getting older, i am starting to understand my dad better. When i was a kid, i always used to find my dad’s attitude sometimes very weird. Like, why would he choose to sit alone at times, sometimes choosing to sit in a quiet place when we used to go on some vacation with family. I used to find that so wrong, so I wondered why he is sometimes acting so weird.

Also, an important thing I am realising is that during my parents’ occasional arguments my dad was not always wrong.

I am finding it hard to word my feelings, but when i am inching closer to that age, I am realizing why he is the way he is.

As men, we hardly express our feelings to our father, so i will say it here. Love you dad.

TLDR my step dad has declining health and we just found out he has a suicide plan from the police who got a call about disturbing things he may have said to a coworker, what can I do to support him?

My step dad is in his late 60s diagnosed with a very slowly progressing cancer. His body is not in very good shape from multiple back surgery’s and my mom is in her 40s, with lots of life to live with the love of her life. Except he is so stuck in his ways if things keep going this way he’s going to die right in his recliner with a glass of whiskey and water in his hand. His plan was to shoot himself while my mom was out of town this weekend (thanks dad). He was just placed on a 24hr psych hold last night but once he comes back what do I do? What do I tell him. When I struggled with self harm and suicidal ideation he told me that’s a cowards way out and now I’m too angry to have anything nice to say but I know he needs me now. Regardless of if he was ever there for me.

What do I do? What can I do? What does he need to hear? To I force him to go on a walk with me everyday to try and stealth spring some EMDR on him or what? I don’t think he even would be willing to do anything.

Edit: tried to post on ask men and it had me post here

It is quite frustrating... but I (21F) am always so nervous when I have a uni exam. Every time I think I will not pass, each time I finished the exam I am deeply unhappy because I think I failed.

I am literally so terrified of the exam results that I have peed myself (at home)... twice.

In high school I was always struggling with grades, but now I am like... actually really good (if I am even allowed to say that without sounding cocky 😭). I have been asked to participate in honours programmes, so this is a complete shift for me.

However, it doesn't change anything for my stress. Each time I have an exam I get so nervous, I study ALLLLL the material, take the test, think I failed dramatically and cry at home. Then when I get the grades back nothing is wrong...

What also frustrates me is that I really really tire myself out with all this. Often I start studying 4 weeks before the exams... I study all the materials, lock myself up at home (like I literally won't hang out with people because I am scared I won't have enough time to study.), only to figure out the lectures were actually more important and that I could have literally only studied the lectures (which would have taken me 1 week.)

But each time this happens, I get paranoid. 'What if this time it IS all the material?'

I really want to be more confident when it comes to my exams. I feel like it could make my time at uni a lot more fun (because then I could actually be social and hang out with people...)

Hey everyone! I am u/Budgetdad4, a founding moderator of r/BudgetDadClub.

While 'Budget Dad' is the name (inspired by my own journey as a single dad of six), this community is explicitly for ALL parents. This is our new home for all things pertaining to parenting, tips, discussions, and rants. We are thrilled to have you onboard!"

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Share with the community whatever you believe might be intriguing, useful, or uplifting. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about budgets, meal planning, positive discipline, family routines, or maintaining harmony.

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How to Get Started

1) Introduce yourself in the comments below.

2) Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.

3) If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.

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Thanks for being a part of the very first wave.

Together, let's make r/BudgetDadClub amazing.

Time is never your enemy, but a window to build something.

I saw a comment on YouTube. Someone had posted "Winds of Change" by the Scorpions. The first comment was "All dads love this song".

So dads, do you love that song? My dad likes it. He is 73.

My sister and I are both 21 years old and we’re getting kicked out in two weeks. I’m trying not to stress but it’s really getting to my sister. Since the 20th of September, my sister and I have been looking into transitional housing. We did Youth in need, they said we were too old but we were assigned case managers. We did ECH, they said we were eligible despite our age, had us do a 2 week process, and last Friday they sent out a rejection letter because of the waitlist. Marygrove said they did up to 20 even though their website says 22. Covenant housing is full until July next year. Epworth accepts only foster care.

We’ve tried everything. We can’t do emergency shelters because we have valuable stuff. We currently have $0 to our name and no car. The only good thing is that my sister starts work at Amazon tomorrow but she’s only seasonal. I start Aldi work on the 19th of this month. I’ve gotten accepted at Aldi’s on the 18th of September, idk why they’re taking so long. I only have a part time position.

My case managers were thinking of putting us to Chicago because they have a place that will help out with tents but that’s not smart because my sister and I will end up jobless again. I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve already called 211 but they recommended places we’ve already tried.

My sister and I were thinking that we can stay at an extended stay hotel for 1-2 months while we’re looking for other things, but it’s way past our budget. We’ll be able to afford it, but we’ll barely have any savings. It’s the only extended stay hotel that are close to both of our jobs. I honestly don’t know, we both feel really discouraged.

We wanted to go to MN after 1-2 months because our family stay there, but we wanted to work a bit long enough to transfer our jobs there, so we won’t be jobless again. My mom lives there, but she’s abusive. Maybe MN transitional housing will be better there since it goes up to 24? I don’t know. I feel a bit delusional.

We just feel very stuck. Is there anyone out there who went through this and made it out? What should we do?

I am 18 M, I went to visit my dad as I often do nowadays because he has recently been diagnosed with Stage 1A pancreatic cancer, thankfully the tumour was successfully removed and all is going relatively well, but I try to be there for him as much as possible to cheer him up and keep him mentally well because I love mu father dearly and so does he.

For context, I live in a country where the moment you finish high school, you are subject to a temporary conscription to the army for over a year. I left after 2 months because I suffered from general anxiety, anxiety/panic attacks, bullying from peers within the base, anorexia, and depression. Because of my exemption now I have a whole hear to myself so I try to make the most of it. This has made me feel like a burden to myself, my family, and most importantly my father. I was unable to complete this service and simply drowned in these symptoms of mine, I am cursed with a sensitive nervous system so every emotion I feel is to the maximum.

As it had seemed, my father had a rough day to say the least, so he was already not in the mood beforehand. The moment he gazed his eyes upon me, he firstly criticised how I was dressed, calling me a moron because I wore shorts while it was chilly outside, to which I responded that I simply didn’t fell that cold. Then his criticism turned into anger, he did not like the look of my hair even though it’s simply a 2 month grown buzz cut as I plan to regrow my hair back to my curls. He threatened to send me back to the army if I don’t cut my hair, and that im ugly with it at this length, and that he has a madness I haven’t seen yet if I were not to cut it. I replied with telling him that it’s my hair and I decide what to do with it, I like it this length and I plan to grow it out anyways. He didn’t like that. We then left the house and went in the elevator. While in the elevator he slandered me for my plain black T-shirt, asking me if I ever look myself in the mirror when I leave the house, and that the shirt is of shit condition, I told him that I simply didn’t notice anything wrong with the shirt. Up to this point all this was tearing me apart within. Then we got in the car, while in the car he brought the discussion about my hair again, and then I decided to act, and told him with a collective demeanour “This is my hair and I choose what I do with it, I don’t understand you’re problem, I don’t want to shave it again. Look dad, you have to check your emotions, I understand you’re going through a lot and that’s why im here as your son to stick around with you, and from the moment I arrived you simply harass me.” His response was that of denial, and then he proceeded to weaponise my leave from the army against me, that all my friends are doing their service just fine and im at home doing fuck all, and for that reason I should keep my hair short. From that point on I shut my mouth, I was dead inside, and did not want to continue speaking.

The problem is, is that he always targets me for some reason whenever he is angry, he always tries to find a way to slander me, and reduce me. This would happen even before his diagnosis, my brother also did not do the army, yet he isn’t treated this way. If any dads in here can tell me if my fathers actions are valid because im a disappointment, please do so.

Thank you.

My (65M) son and his wife (both mid 30s) are expecting their first child in a few weeks. I know they care about each other but they seem to (verbally) pick at each other. It's mostly small stuff like furniture, dinner, etc but something seems off. She seems frustrated and they both seem exhausted. Give me advice. How to support them.

Ever since I can remember I would go to my friends vacation home really often and it came to a point where I would dread it because of her dad. She had been my best friend since kindergarden and he would be the one taking us to the pool and I would always just find his hands rubbing on my inner thighs and up, grabbing me by the waist, then when I would try to swim away he would grab me by my legs and just pull me back because he would say I couldn't swim but I had been in swimming lessons since I was a baby so I was more than capable. I never mentioned it and it never really affected me until I moved countries in the 5th grade and would try to make excuses to not go back there whenever I would be back in my home country. I really dont know why it took me so long to realize, I think maybe because my dad wasn't physically in my life and it was something that had been happening since I pretty much have memory. This is something that does keep me up at night ever since and just hoped that since I was young I might've just made up in my head but over the years he'll pop up on my instagram story viewers although we dont follow eachother and on my birthday he texted me that "he is hoping to see me again soon so that we can celebrate our successes and that although he knows he shouldn't be texting me and that its better no one finds out about it, he just wanted to say he admires me greatly". I have been trying to figure out what I should do regarding my friend and her family. I have pretty much cut contact with the whole family just because of him but I truly do still miss my friend and care for her. I really dont think they have experienced any of this since they all have a great bond and post him all of the time, therefore I dont want to come out of the blue and ruin their lifes with something that might not be worth bringing up from the past. I have made a post and everyone tells me I have to tell them but I really dont see anyone being benefited from this especially since we are all pretty much adults now I know he does not have as easy access to whatever he did, therefore by saying something I would just be ruinning a family and having to talk about something that just disgusts me. I truly just want some guidance from dads as to what they think this is and how I should approach it.

i need to know bc my dad said it and he doesn't know 😭😭😭

the oil on the dipstick wouldn’t focus. The oil level is to where I drew the yellow/white line
oil level photo

300k miles on ford transit connect. Last oil change 297k miles. Van has been running loud, wondering if oil is issue

Thank you in advance dads of Reddit ❤️

I'm a 19M from a town in Tamil Nadu. My gf 19F , we've been together for almost 9 years I've never really travelled outside TN or explored much beyond my hometown and college. I'm in a long-distance relationship, and today my girlfriend planned to visit my college so we could book a room in the city and spend time together.

Honestly, the plan felt overwhelming, and I wasn't interested in going ahead with it. When I told her, she said, "You don't put in the effort to meet me; at least let me do that," which made me feel guilty.

I understand that she wants to meet me, and I appreciate her effort, but I also feel like I'm allowed to be uncomfortable with a plan. Am I wrong for not wanting to go? Is she justified in feeling hurt, or is she guilt-tripping me for expressing how I feel?