Guys, my father caught me and my boyfriend at my place. Basically, we were making out when suddenly the doorbell rang, and it was my father. As soon as we realized it, we panicked. Instead of opening the door immediately, I kept him waiting outside for 15 minutes. He called me several times, but I didn’t answer because I had no idea what to do.

When my father finally lost his patience, I opened the door, and the moment he saw me with my boyfriend, he slapped me hard across the face in front of him and started cursing me out. I gestured to my boyfriend to run away ASAP.

Now, I’m scared of facing my boyfriend again because I keep wondering what image he has of me and my father after witnessing the whole incident. What should I do now??? And was that normal for my father to behave that way???

I don’t really know where else to turn, so I guess I’m writing this here.

I think I may have hurt someone who trusted me, a girl who was pretty naive and inexperienced when it came to relationships. I’ve been looking back at everything that happened and questioning myself. Did I mess things up? Was I selfish? Did I fail to consider how she might have felt? Was I the jerk in this situation?

I’m not going to pretend I’m innocent or that I did everything right. I genuinely want to understand what happened, where I went wrong, and whether there are things about myself that I need to work on. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, but I also don’t know how to make sense of everything I’m feeling right now.

Part of why this is hitting me so hard might have to do with my own upbringing. I grew up with an absent father, and I feel like there are things about relationships, responsibility, and being a decent man that I’ve had to figure out on my own. Sometimes I wish I had an older man I could sit down with, someone who could listen to the whole story, tell me honestly where I messed up, and help me understand what I should have done differently.

I’m not looking for people to tell me I did nothing wrong. If I hurt someone, I want to face that. I just need some perspective from people who have lived longer than I have and learned things the hard way.

I feel lost right now. I keep asking myself what’s wrong with me, why I handled things the way I did, and whether I’ve caused damage that I don’t fully understand.

If you’re an older guy, a father, or just someone who has been through complicated relationships, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing from you. I could really use some honest advice, even if it’s hard to hear.

I just need someone to talk to and help me make sense of this.

More specifically, I'm in the northeast and am debating on adding a water heater OR going tankless. What do I need to know so I dont get ripped off? I'm currently heating my water on demand through my oil burner, which I'm told will burn 3x the oil that I would have had I had water heater. Any help appreciated.