So I identify as aroace. But whenever someone ships me with someone else, I like to imagine myself in that relationship (and sorta want that relationship??) although in reality, it would probably be a platonic thing. No idea why, but it's something I do. But I know I'm definitely ace. So... is it normal for aroace or is it something else?

Hello I’m Wally, and it’s sucks being on the aro-ace spectrum. But it’s a very unique and special thing about yourself and in your social life. little about myself I’m classified as an asexual bellusromantic. most day I forge, and other days I Cana want to date a girl. but that’s just life for me.

Soo I have been aromantic but now I'm starting to think I am aroace, but aromantic and aegosexual and I am also gay but if I am aromantic and aegosexual am I aroace or is there a microlabel for being both aromantic and aegosexual, I also have another question, can I be both aroace and gay? I'm just really confused on that part and I wanna find out more about me.

For some context, I have never posted on Reddit before, so hello! My partner and I have been together for around 7 months now. I have briefly dated other people in the past, but in hindsight, I have started to understand that I could be somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum.

I could probably go my entire life without having sex and be totally content with that. Masturbation has always been a constant for me, but it’s never been something directly related to another person or someone I know, or have dated. I cannot think of a moment where I have been sexually attracted to someone in front of me, even previous partners or “crushes.” It has always felt very isolating to not have those same thoughts and feelings. I can say something sexual about a fictional character or actor but have never truly meant it in the way other people might. Physical touch is also not something I particularly like receiving or like to initiate.

I have never really had much interest in relationships or dating. I had a boyfriend in elementary school, then I cried after agreeing to date him, and didn’t care at all when we broke up. My previous relationships started with friendship, so when romantic feelings were mentioned, I kind of assumed the next step was to date. I cannot recall genuine feelings of love or romantic interest in anyone, unless maybe I was mistaking it for platonic love.

Coming to terms with these feelings is quite scary and anxiety-inducing, especially as someone in a relationship. It makes me feel like I am lying to them or leading them on. When in reality, I am just figuring it out myself. I don’t really know how to tell them without being an asshole and flushing months of a relationship and over a year of friendship down the drain. It is a queer relationship, so there is a little hope of more understanding, but it is still nerve-wracking to think about.

Maybe someone can give some insight or advice on how to tell them, or just any reassurance about the possibility of me being somewhere on the spectrum. I don’t really have anyone I can talk about this with, so I am bringing it here!

Thanks for reading :)

I have never experienced any real attraction; I've only really chosen a random person to have a 'crush on' or just acted like I liked someone back. Recently, however, I've been anxious about what will happen in the future. This has made me look at people differently. I can't tell if I'm attracted to them, as when I look at them I just think "Yeah I would be fine with them." They don't 'invade' my mind or anything. I feel like I am just anxious about the future and I'm 'viewing' possible options for lack of a better term. The thought of actually being romantic with the people I've 'chosen' grosses me out a bit.

Some guy came up to me and asked if I want a girlfriend then pointed at a girl 6 years older than me, obviously said no, but bro, WHAT THE HELL?! Oh also take this image as a thing to attach to this story

Hola, me llamó Santos y tengo 18 años. Durante toda mi vida nunca tuve una pareja y mucho menos he besado a alguien. No sé si es algo de que avergonzarme ya que la mayoría de mis amigos tienen o tuvieron pareja y me suelen etiquetar con la palabra "virgen" de modo de broma aunque fuese así igual duele porque siempre sentí que debería tener un romance adolescente como lo pinta como el mundo. Ya sabes, los típicos estudiantes del mismo salón que se besan, terminan y luego regresan. Siempre pensé que las chicas no eran lo mío porque no sentía una atracción hacia ellas aunque no fue así, los hombres tampoco me atraen. Mis amigos nunca me ayudaron (Green flag) en encontrar una pareja porque también piensa que eso sucede con el paso del tiempo. Siempre pensé que tendría una novia o novio pero cada vez que lo "intentaba" no funcionaba, simplemente no puedo tener esa conexión que la gente "normal" lo hace y me sienta mal por pensar en eso. Hubo una vez donde estuve cerca de estar con una chica pero cada vez que pensaba en la idea de besarnos, teniendo sexo o incluso agarrarse de la mano. Sabía que no podía de cierta manera, es sumamente estresante pensar aquello. Tampoco me fijo por el físico, por lo general, suelo mirar los músculos de los chicos (los maniquíes, no soy un puto enfermo) porque me gustaría tener ese físico, me imagino un montón de cosas tipo ¿Con ese físico lograré encontrar pareja? Muchos de los que van al gym tienen pareja o eso es lo que pinta el internet. Aveces unos amigos me agarran de los.hombtes y señalan a cualquier chica diciendo que es muy atractiva porque tiene buenos pechos, cintura o trasero y sinceramente no puedo entender a lo que se refieren con "bueno". Osea, estéticamente te entiendo pero sexualmente no entiendo cómo eso te excita tanto. Incluso conozco personas que ya se están mojando con solo ver unos buenos cuerpos (independientemente si es hombre o mujer) y no lo entiendo. Puedo decir más ejemplos de esto pero realmente quiero que me cuenten sus experiencias en como descubrieron en qué eran aroace/asexual/arromantico. Porque realmente no sé si pertenezco ahí o simplemente soy alguien que inconscientemente tiene los estándares muy altos (según algunos de mis compañeros)...

It’s been maybe a little over a year since I discovered I was aroace but I still struggle to understand many things. I’m currently in a relationship that seems to go from platonic to ‘romantic’ constantly and so many things confuse me. My girlfriend is extremely sweet and understanding about it (she’s not aroace herself but is very supportive and always asks questions to make sure I’m comfortable) but I can’t help but constantly feel like a bad partner for not being able to give her a fully romantic relationship.

My boundaries shift constantly though sometimes I wonder if they’re genuine boundaries or if they’re just dumb things I end up overthinking, especially considering how often they change. I was wondering if anyone was open to share any experiences with their own boundaries or similar? I still have so many questions about being aroace and I know it’s different from person to person but I figured that maybe getting to know more experiences from others could help me understand more

For context, I'm 20 (F). I realized I was aroace early this year, but I'm growing more familiar with it every day, and I find peace in knowing what I am now. But I've also been finding out how isolating it is, and it's really fucking with my head so badly.

My friends, for the most part, are the best people ever. They're kind, fun, and I care for them so deeply, and I know they care for me. But lately... I've realized I might care too much about them because, no matter what I do, they just seem so busy. I feel like a background character in all their lives and minds, whereas I think about them every day, constantly, because why shouldn't I?

I don't know. I'm just ranting, and now I'm wondering if I should have put this under rant, but I do feel like I need advice and some form of closeness with people who might finally understand my pain.

I fear I'll be abandoned and left all alone all the time, and I'm scared because I've been growing an anxious attachment style to my friends. Every time I notice the same patterns of somewhat neglect, it sends me through this terrible downward spiral where I grow desperate for their attention and affection. I hate myself for that, and I hate who I turn into whenever that happens. Because tell me why, on top of all my life problems and my constant depressive episodes, I feel like I'm begging them to be there with me and not make me feel so lonely when I have them, right? I don't know if I'm making any sense.

I feel selfish and like I'm being a bad friend. Why can't I do things better? Maybe that'll make them think about me more or want to spend more time with me. I don't want to get a boyfriend or girlfriend to feel close to someone, to finally have the connection I so desperately wish I had. I want a friend who's also just wholeheartedly my person, with me being theirs. That's all I want.

I'm so tired, guys. I think I really just broke. I already lost someone I thought was my person, and I'm still hurting real bad over that. Some of my friends keep telling me I'm really obsessed with them and that they think I loved them romantically, which hurts because I've told them I love differently, basically. My friendships often become my world. They know about my sexual orientation, but no one gets it. They just see a lovesick, confused girl when I'm just not that. I'm confused and sick of it all, but I'm not what they seem to want me to be. It really disgusts me whenever I'm told that. They act like you can only love deeply when it's romantic.

The isolation of it all, on top of my other issues, has really made me hate myself so deeply. I hate being left alone with my thoughts because my thoughts hurt so much. I'm getting more suicidal with my thoughts. I hate myself that bad. I legit just want to die. My friends don't feel comfortable when I bring this up. I'm sure they hate it, and that makes me feel worse and more alone because no one wants to be there for me. Like, if I'm not being funny and conversational, I'm not very pleasant to be around. Type of vibes. I don't know what to do about that.

QPRs have been something I've been desiring for months. The concept of it just aligns with everything I know would make sense for me. But I don't know how or if I'll ever be lucky enough to meet someone who will want the same thing as me and love the idea of basically just being each other's people, even if it's not romantic. Am I hoping for too much? Maybe there's a reason I'm like this, and I just wasn't meant to find someone for me who'd care as much as I would for them.

This is long. I don't want to bother anyone with TMI, so let me wrap it up and hope it's enough.

(Edit me: Sorry for the errors in this. I'm probably going to edit it so it's more presentable when I cool down.)

(Updates will be at the bottom of the first post) I read a transcript of episode 1 of Hazbin Hotel....

And idk...

my thoughts on it

And I'll add the context since some peeps convientely haven't responded yet after I gave them the context:

I am an adult! I just...

I have seen r-rated stuff before...

And be fine with it...

Heck I watched episode 2 of Knights Of Guinivere a couple days ago!

And yet, there were some moments that made it hard to read...

But there were also parts I enjoyed...

So just because I am wondering, ever been too aroace to comfortably watch something?

And has there ever been a show that despite not being comfy, that you still wanted see more of?...

UPDATE: 10/11: I took a break and I feel a tiny bitter about it... I was just... I guess just steeping in my emotions, which was making things worse.... Idk what I'll do, but I'll figure it out!

Is there a type of attraction greater than romantic attraction, and can someone in this case be called grey-aro?

Hey so I know this is a spectrum but I just wanna figure this out.

For context, 11 years ago (I'm 23 now) I discovered the existence of LGBT+ so, after a year of testing and a lot of thinking, I identified as trans, but I've never really pinned my sexuality.

At first I identified as pansexual bc I don't care abt genders, and that stayed for a long time until I realized I don't really do crushes and I never really felt that physical connection with others anyways, so I identified as demisexual bc I thought maybe I needed that deep emotional connection first.

Some years passed and thought "well maybe I just dont like anyone", and that's when I related to aro/ace for a long while until 3 years ago, when I realized I did fall in love with someone and that someone did maybe kind of confess or smth and bc I was too dense I took 6 years to even realize both my feelings for them and the situation itself (it's very confusing, but that's not the point here).

So that means I do experience romantic feelings, but I'm still asexual bc I can't feel that sexual attraction everyone talks about. In fact, whenever I get attached to someone, any kind of sexual thoughts towards them feels like disrespecting them and I can't even try to imagine myself having anything in that sense with anyone bc it makes me sick.

BUT here's the twist. Ever since I was a teen, I did read a lot of adult fanfics, see lots of adult fanart and even got in deep corners of the internet, but never bc I wanted any of that, it was fun to see but never really wanted to get involved nor even imagine myself involved, I felt nothing but it was intriguing. And these last months I've realized I do find more interesting some people with certain appearance, so I think that's having a type. However, I still don't have any sexual thoughts towards them. I don't feel that. I still feel sick even when I try to imagine it.

So what in the world is that?? Am I still asexual even though when I see what I guess is "my type" I wanna crawl under a table and hide like those teenagers on the movies? Am I overthinking this and it doesn't really matter that much? I've never had a relationship in my life bc trans+asexual is like a death combo or smth and I never really cared that much abt having one, but I guess having this figured out might help? I just feel a bit like a hypocrite I guess.

I'm W23 and never had a relationship or kiss and iirc the last big crush I had was in 10th grade.

I can definitely say, during my school years, I thought to not pursue a partner because they want to do 🔞 and even now the idea to do 🔞 gives me the ick. Those stuff happening in books, fanfics or drawings are fine but these things happening to me? Nope.

Even something like kissing and the thought of kissing a Woman or Man makes me go "no thank you. I don't need that".

Now the thing is, I personally don't see anything wrong with my "No thank you." View regarding looking for a relationship but I never really allowed myself to think that I could maybe be part of this.

Speaking the ultimate thoughts of "I don't see myself wanting this" to someone you know irl is scary.

I’m aroace and value my sibling relationships as much as some people value their romantic relationships and I’m curious how other people feel.

I dont know what tag to use but i was just feeling curious like do anyone else have multiple aroace spec microlabels alongside like aroace like personally im aroace, nebula-aroace, apothi-aroace and bold stripe aroace i seen like the oriented aroace people yeah but thats ig kinda it

Hi! I did a video analysis about why I headcanon Seou from Daytime in the bunker as aroace. Though I mainly just talk about the aromanticism in my video. :D

The video has subtitles in korean, spanish, chinese (both simplified and traditional), french, german, thai, indonesian, and japanese. Though, I used google translate so I don't know how accurate the translations are. 😓

I made the video because I resonate really heavily with Seou as someone who is romance repulsed aspec. The reason it's called "the aromantic horrors of bunker days" is because what she experiences feels like my own personal nightmare. 😅

Thank you for checking out my analysis if you do, and hopefully it will resonate with people! It's my 2nd ever analysis video so I know it isn't great, but I'm excited to improve in the future. :D

Hey everyone! 👋🏾💚

I'm new here, so I thought I'd make a post to introduce myself and, more importantly, hear your thoughts on a few things. I'd genuinely like to learn about your experiences, your feelings, and the way you see things, because I've been wondering about quite a few things myself.

First of all, I consider myself aroace, although, honestly, the term itself bothers me a little. 😭 I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I struggle to see the absence of attraction as an orientation in the traditional sense of the word. To me, an orientation usually refers to attraction directed toward someone or a particular gender. But when there's simply no attraction at all, I wonder why we feel the need to put a label on it. I understand that labels can help some people understand themselves and connect with others who share similar experiences, but personally, this tendency to categorize people sometimes leaves me puzzled.

When it comes to romance, I've simply never fallen in love with anyone. I've never had a genuine crush, and I don't particularly feel the need to fall in love. At the end of the day, I see people as "just human beings." That's it. I can appreciate someone, recognize their qualities, or think they're beautiful without that turning into romantic or sexual attraction. I wonder if some of you experience things in a similar way.

When it comes to sex, that's a whole different story. I've never experienced sexual attraction toward anyone, and I'd say my libido is relatively low. Occasionally, I experience a kind of physical urge, but I see it as a passing whim and simply ignore it. I never masturbate, and I sometimes experience wet dreams, but none of that changes the way I see things.

To be completely honest, I consider sex something almost sacred, yet at the same time, so much of what surrounds it disgusts me deeply. Pornography, rape, pimping, manipulation, unwanted pregnancies, the devastating psychological consequences some people experience, even suicide in certain cases… It all makes me sick. And what bothers me even more is how certain things are normalized, as if sexual desire justified everything or as if sex absolutely had to be a central part of our lives.

Sometimes, I honestly see sex as a hard drug, just like fentanyl or cocaine. I know that's a strong comparison, and I'm not saying they're pharmacologically identical. What I mean is that when I see how far some people are willing to go to satisfy their desires, how obsessive certain behaviors can become, and how much suffering can result from them, that's genuinely what it reminds me of. It makes me wonder whether people realize how destructive their relationship with sex can become.

Honestly, sometimes I just think sex is bullshit. All this obsession, the normalization of harmful behaviors, the atrocities, and the consequences disgust me deeply. I genuinely wonder whether people realize how destructive sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification can become in certain situations.

And when I see people my age, or even older people, constantly talking about sex, sexualizing absolutely everything, or behaving as though they're obsessed with it, I genuinely wonder: WHY? 😭

Is it me who functions differently? Is it simply a difference in libido and attraction? Or does our society give sexuality far too much importance?

To be clear, I'm not saying that all allosexual people are like this, nor am I claiming that everyone who experiences sexual desire behaves in an unhealthy way. I'm talking about certain behaviors and the normalization of things that deeply disturb me.

As for myself, I'm doing pretty well with the way I am, and honestly, I'm grateful that life made me this way. I don't feel the need to force myself into experiences that don't appeal to me. But I'm still curious about understanding other people, even when some of their concerns feel completely foreign to me.

So, I'd genuinely like to ask you all a few questions:

How do you experience being aroace? Have you always known, or did it take you a while to understand yourself?

For those of you who are asexual, do you ever experience libido without sexual attraction? How do you deal with it?

For aromantic people, have you simply never experienced romantic feelings, or do you experience them differently?

How do you perceive sex? Does it leave you indifferent, disgust you, interest you on a physical level without attraction toward anyone, or is your experience something else entirely?

And finally, what do you think about all these labels? Do they genuinely help you understand yourselves, or do you sometimes feel that human beings are being categorized way too much?

I'm not here to judge your experiences or impose my worldview on anyone. I'd simply like to talk to people whose experiences might be similar to mine, or completely different.

Anyway, I'm genuinely curious to hear your thoughts. Feel free to be honest and tell me what you think! 💚

I've always found most of the aroace community very selective, and they discriminate if an aroace person genuinely wants a partner.

and I've always been quite...performative, I do lots of things only for public recognition.

I want to be recognised as someones partner, without any of the gooey romance stuff.

I'd really appreciate your opinion 💕 (please don't be super harsh about it!)