If this post isn't alright, remove it and i'm sorry for making it, i'm gonna try to be decent here.
so imo and in my analysis and what my dysphoria makes me feel, i see that in sex, gender roles are almost like inherent? another point to consider in this analysis is that sex IS in fact animalistic. okay so following this though process that just an intutive analysis of real reality, in sex female biology has a feminine role(mentally and physically) and men can technically have both but is centered around the masculine/penetrative role. those are gender roles created by sex and thats another reason to be antisex, bc uhh those roles are patriarchal bc theres inherent imbalance in sex between men and women. even if a woman got a "good gentle decent man" who shits out flowers out of his ass for her, the sex still has animalistic female male polarity and mechanism and him acting decent doesn't free her from the burden of female sex role bc women have to do all the obscene and dark things in sex i wont be naming them, just think. her role still requires to be a whore, im not even saying it as an insult, but a word that fits the darkness of womans position in sex. this made me think that its not men or patriarchy that subjogates us women, but its our own biology and sex instead that does that and then anything else comes second.
sex makes me predators or degenerates and women masochistic pickmes who go against feminism and their own comfort. beacause... thats what female biology is stimulated in in sex, humans above these urges are more decent. its just a matter of mental developement. i never had sex at 26 and dont feel touch straved, dont fight urges and dont feel fomo even i have a high libido. sex is NOT a need. youre just undeveloped, entitled or a pickme or want to be a cool girl to get male attention, depends on your gender. sex even makes men sociopathic towards women, bc they are born with power and the upper hand, so they dont care ab romance like women do, women care bc we have a vulnerable role, not bc we want. its out of powerlesness, if we could have upper hand, we also would not care ab emotional depth and attachement and only want men for sex and convinience, seek novelty, not get attached, play games, be predators, use men, discard men after sex, be lustful, see men as an ego boost. men always say they just want sex and sex is love for them. but they dont realize its bc they r born privileged and women arent. they act like they are special and beyond womans comprehenson but they are just annoying with all their power they soak in. if sex was ab my power and pleasure then i would see it as love too, duh!!! but fuck sex and its vile power imbalance that creates a system when one uses another for its own egoistic gain and other bows and kneels to them and then calls it feminist and empowering.
i have a female biology like all women on earth and it has the same universal desires but i consciously choose to be sovreign, independent and to not engage in my own subjogation bc i genuinely find it suffocating to be in that role. sex very much LOVES patriarchy and even rapism. humans wont admit it, they will sugar coat instead but most of patriarchy probably comes from sex and not from socialization, society itself is made in the image of human biology anyways.
another thing is porn, it shows female and male biology and female male polarity and it pretty much reflects the reality, the reality of human nature, womanhood, male nature and human sexual desires. its not fiction. the reason porn is degrading to women is bc sex has power imbalance naturally, if it didnt porn wouldnt be able to be so shocking and vile. the female bodies you see in sex who r getting penetarted in all those compromising positions... its what female biology is and made possible for a woman to be in that role she is in porn ykwim.
ive been a virgin my whole life, by choice.. a conscious choice and discomfort with female gender role. i think sex is inherently gender conforming. i feel more "sexually" fullfiled being celibate and abstinent from masturbation even, i feel rebellious and powerful this way, self loving and independent, enlightened even. i think sex shows human darkness they have to work through. both sexes have darkness, womens is masochism and mens both this and opossite and just general degeneracy. both sexes darkness is... patriarchal desires, i know its controversial to say but thats my perception based on observing real life. im not into making humans stop having sex etc. im rather just using anti sex to express myself. but i opt out. i also feel too sensitive for female role and for sex. if a man wanted me, how could i feel comfortable engaging in lustful animalistic fucking if im so fragile and autistic? i think what autism did to my mind kinda exposes the nature of sex bc if a innocent sensitive woman who hates sexual submiossion and sexual degradation cant not feel shocked by sex then what does that say ab sex? i kinda wish human sticked with the "autistic ppl are like children and asexual" stereotype but nowadays i see stuff like "why autistic BADDIES THRIVE IN BDSM!!" i'm not even exageratting lol!!! or "why neurodivergent ppl LOVE KINK!!!".
sex disturbs me so much bc of the imbalance that i have to change the gym i got attached to bc i found out a man in there wants me to get into his bed and thats his whole intentions. i dont feel comfortable being myself in there anymore or being confident and self assured, now i feel self conscious and overpowered and humiliated, mocked even for being such a powerless sensitive female slave. im just someones ego boost. hope he finds a new target or targets he can play a game with. im sick of the power imbalance sex created between genders. it makes me wanna scream and cry. i just wanted to enjoy myself and be playful.