TL;DR A group of my friends blocked another friend of mine without explanation and I was in the middle of it.
Back in September, Red (a friend of mine) was recently blocked by three of my closest friends on Instagram. I had known these three friends for about 4-ish years and I had no idea that this was happening until one of the friends, Blue was bringing it up to another friend, Yellow, in passing conversation.
Yellow didn't block Red but was definitely on Blue's side when they were explaning everything.
I asked them what they were talking about and they filled me in that they had basically blocked Red for two reasons. The first one was that Red had supposedly thrown a tantrum at their parent when they were driving home from a convention about going to see an actor. The other one was that Red's friend group (that doesn't include the three friends that blocked them) was organizing this huge event and was strict on the fact that they could only plan for the people they had listed.
After I had been told all this, that night, Red texted me if I could chat with them. They had basically told me that the three friends that had blocked them had just suddenly done it, without an explanation. I was scared and didn't know what to do so I texted Blue what should I do.
Blue wasn't happy that I texted Red because Blue said that everyone is trying to ignore her right now because of the blocking. Personally, I thought it was ridiculous that they couldn't even spare an explanation to Red, so I did respond to them and got on a call with them. I asked them if they knew any reason they might have been blocked and they said no, they couldn't think of any.
I was on that call for a long time, crying with Red about the possibility of our friendship ending and I was thinking of the worst case scenario where I would have to pick sides. But in the end, Blue had been ignoring me for the past few weeks with Yellow. I had been texting Red and checking in with them since they weren't doing well mentally during those weeks Blue and Yellow haven't been meeting with me.
Eventually, after getting nothing from Blue or any of my friends for that matter, I ended up texting Red why they were blocked.
I did tell them that if they ever needed someone to talk to, I was here but also they should try to talk to someone they trusted like another friend or family.
But after that, I got a huge text bubble from Blue. During the week they had been ignoring me, I shot out a text asking if they were alright, and if there was anything I did, I was sorry. I also texted them saying that Red was incredibly sorry for what they did since I told them.
Blue basically said to me I was no longer friends with them, Yellow, or any other friend in their group. Blue said that I was not allowed to speak with them anymore because I was fatphobic, racist, colorist, misgendering, and not a good friend because I would always go on my phone when the whole friend group was there.
I was called fatphobic because I'm incredibly scrawny and Blue is plus-sized, I always tried to use words that weren't negative towards fat people but I guess even my words made an impression on them. I was also called racist because I would make occasional jokes about certain races including my own. I wouldn't call myself racist because I've been open minded to all sorts of cultures but I guess I wasn't trying hard enough. I was also called colorist because I would make self-deprecating comments about how I am Chinese yet I have a very deep tan and in China, it's seen as beautiful to have pale skin. I also misgendered people a lot since I would forget to ask and they wouldn't tell me, for example, Blue used to use they/them but later started to use he/him and I had no idea.
As for the phone accusation, they aren't wrong, I would go on my phone when the group is out having fun but the problem is I don't try putting myself into the conversation since my comments beforehand were mostly ignored and they wouldn't include me on certain topics even though I was there. I was crying for hours about the text until I had a talk with my family. They told me that my friends were unjustified to just kick me out of the friend group, but I think personally, this was all my fault because I reached out.