I spent the last couple weeks decorating my front yard for Halloween. Went a little overboard with animatronics, lights and a fog machine.

My neighbor runs Halloween walking tours every October and asked if he could stop outside my house so people could see the decorations. I said sure, didn't see any problem with that.

Yesterday evening he showed up with about 20 people. At first they were taking pictures from the sidewalk, but then he started inviting them into my yard to pose with the decorations. Some were even sitting on my front steps.

I went outside and told him I'd agreed to people looking from the sidewalk, not walking around my property. He said he'd advertised it as an interactive photo stop and people had specifically paid for that experience.

I told him that wasn't something we'd discussed. He asked me to just let this group finish since they were already there, but I refused and switched off the decorations.

He got pretty angry and said I'd basically ruined that part of the tour and given customers a reason to leave bad reviews or demand refunds. My wife thinks I should've let them finish and told him not to do it again.

I feel like he should've asked before promising people access to my yard, but I can see how shutting everything down on the spot was a bit much.

AITJ?

TL;DR: Agreed to let my neighbor include my Halloween decorations in his paid walking tour, but he started inviting customers onto my property without asking. I shut everything off during the tour, potentially costing him refunds and bad reviews.

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I read through most of the responses, and a lot of you suggested that I start documenting my work instead of getting into arguments with my coworker.

I'm glad I listened because something happened this week that I honestly wasn't expecting.

For context, my coworker took credit for a presentation I'd spent several evenings preparing. Our manager praised her in front of senior management, and when I confronted her privately, she acted like I was being selfish for wanting recognition.

After that, I stopped helping her with assignments that weren't part of my responsibilities.

Well, apparently, she wasn't happy about that.

On Monday, our manager asked me to come into his office because she'd complained that I was refusing to collaborate with her and making the workplace uncomfortable.

I was honestly nervous because I knew she'd already been telling people I was jealous of her success.

But instead of getting defensive, I calmly explained what had happened with the presentation.

I also brought the original files, the document history showing my edits, and some messages where she'd asked me to prepare specific sections.

My manager looked genuinely surprised.

He asked why I hadn't brought this to his attention earlier, and I admitted that I didn't want to create drama or damage our working relationship.

He then asked whether I'd be comfortable having a conversation with both of them.

I agreed.

The meeting happened yesterday, and it was uncomfortable from the beginning.

My coworker immediately said she'd never claimed to have done everything herself and that everyone knew we'd worked together.

But when our manager asked why she hadn't mentioned my contribution during the presentation, she said she simply hadn't thought it was necessary.

Then he asked her to explain some of the analysis from the slides.

She struggled to answer several questions.

I didn't interrupt or try to embarrass her. I just sat there while our manager asked questions.

Eventually, he told her that collaboration doesn't mean presenting someone else's work as your own and that recognition needs to reflect actual contributions.

He also made it clear that I wasn't obligated to complete her assignments for her.

I felt relieved for about five minutes.

Then things got worse.

After the meeting, she approached me near the break room and told me I'd deliberately humiliated her in front of our manager.

She said she hoped I was happy because I'd probably ruined her chances of getting promoted.

I told her I hadn't tried to ruin anything. I'd simply defended myself after she complained about me.

She responded, "I thought we were friends."

That honestly hurt more than I expected.

We'd worked together for almost three years, and I genuinely considered her a friend before all this happened.

I told her that friends don't take credit for each other's work and then accuse them of being jealous when they ask for recognition.

She walked away without responding.

Later that afternoon, my manager called me back into his office.

He apologized for not realizing how much work I'd contributed to the presentation. He also said he wanted me to present part of our next project directly to senior management so my contributions would be visible.

I appreciated that, especially because I hadn't asked for anything beyond being treated fairly.

But there's still one thing bothering me.

Two coworkers have told me that she's been crying at work and saying I betrayed her over something that could have been resolved privately.

Now some people seem to think I went too far by showing our manager the evidence.

I keep reminding myself that I only did that because she reported me first.

Still, I don't enjoy seeing someone I've known for years become so upset, even after what she did.

For now, I've decided to keep our relationship strictly professional. I'll collaborate when our actual responsibilities overlap, but I won't be doing her work for her anymore.

I never wanted her to lose opportunities.

I just wanted my own work to count.

TL;DR: My coworker complained to our manager after I stopped helping her with assignments. I showed him evidence that I'd done most of the presentation she took credit for. He acknowledged my contribution and offered me more visibility on future projects. Now she's accusing me of ruining her promotion chances, and some coworkers think I went too far.

My brother has a 15 year old son who's really into cars. They'd been planning to go to a big car show together for months and my nephew was looking forward to it. I was supposed to join them too.

About a week before the trip, my brother told him he couldn't go because something came up at work. My nephew was disappointed but accepted it.

Except my brother wasn't working. He went on a fishing trip with his friends instead. He'd been invited last minute and apparently didn't want to miss it.

My nephew found out after seeing pictures on Instagram and called me asking if I knew. I told him the truth because I wasn't going to pretend I didn't know anything.

Now my brother is furious with me. He says he was planning to make it up to his son and that I had no business getting involved. He also thinks I deliberately made him look bad when I could've just told my nephew to ask him directly.

I get that it's between him and his kid, but I also think 15 is old enough to deserve an honest answer.

AITJ?

TL;DR: My brother canceled a trip with his son to go fishing with friends and lied about having work. My nephew found out and asked me about it, so I told him the truth. My brother thinks I should've stayed out of it.

To give some pretext, I (24NB) am currently a first year apprentice at a transportation company to become a truck driver soon. I'm 5'3", around 90lbs or so and AFAB. I don't look like much but when push comes to shove, I do pack a punch. Trust me, this is important. I started with another apprentice, let's call him H (21M), who's about 5'9", definitely heavier than me although still somewhat scrawny and, well, male in a male-dominated field, unlike me. We're in Germany.

Two days ago, I tagged along in the truck with the only other female driver in the company. She taught me some very useful tricks and helped me get better at what I do at a rather quick pace. As we were on our way back home, she got a call from dispatch. They chatted for a bit, talked about important stuff before the dispatcher inquired if I could hear him as well, to which I said yes. He told me that, instead of the original plan, which was for H to tag along instead of me the following day (which was yesterday), I should tag along again, should I want to, once more, to which I agreed - I could use the experience, after all.

He then started complaining about H. Saying that he was sick too often, didn't seem enthusiastic enough about the apprenticeship and was overall not great with logic or math. I could almost taste the dissatisfaction in his voice. In return, I was told that I'm currently doing quite well in the company and that I learn quickly. Everyone there seems to be quite proud of my quick progress. Meanwhile, H is on the verge of getting the boot, so to speak.

The dispatcher off-handedly allowed me to relay this message to H, too, but the driver I was with said I shouldn't. That he might retaliate, which isn't too far off for any woman and generally female presenting person like me in a male-dominated field such as truck driving. So now, I'm kinda torn between wanting to let him know, but also being scared to do so in lieu of him taking revenge on me for spilling the beans.

WIBTJ if I told him? Should I keep my mouth shut? I don't really know what to do.

TL;DR: I'm one of two apprentices at a transportation company to become a truck driver in about three years time. The other apprentice isn't doing well at all, whereas I, a petite AFAB person, am. Dispatch is incredibly dissatisfied with him and wants to kick him to the curb soon should he not get better quickly, and I've been given permission to tell him this. The driver I tagged along with basically told me to just give him a vague warning in fear of him retaliating against me, though. I'm at a loss for what to do.

Hey guys so here’s the story my girlfriend at the time was planning on going overseas she had this big plan to leave when her lease ran out a month before she was planning on going she decided not to go ( she runs her own online business that’s how she makes money) she tells me she hasn’t been doing payslips for herself as she apparently forgot to do them she asked if I could rent her a place with my name on the lease while I live at home and she lives there ( I live away due to work)
I say no because here in Australia it’s illegal to rent a place with your name on the lease and let someone else live in it without telling the landlord/ I offered to be here rental guarantee as a person if she missed rent I could help or be a co-signer I had no problem doing it the right way as I don’t want to be blacklisted for other rentals I also don’t know why she didn’t just make the previous payslips to counter the lease and I know that she is making money my best guess is something to do with tax etc cash other stuff I didn’t really dig into her business as I was not that interested.

We said some words and I left her as she trying to guilt trip me into renting her a place.

Where I stand is how pussy whipped can you be to rent a place and if you get caught she would get evicted and blacklisted from many rental companies

EDIT she was going to pay me to pay the landlord

I (18M) am currently in a transitional period in my life where I’m trying to figure out what to do next. My plan is to go to college, but my finances aren’t exactly where they need to be yet, so I’m currently looking for a job. And as I’m sure most people know, the job market right now is absolute dogwater, especially for 18-year-olds with little to no work experience. Since I’m home most of the time right now, my mother has apparently decided that I’m going to be her backup childcare plan.

For some context, my mother has been out of work because of carpal tunnel, but her doctor has given her the green light to return to work in January. I know January is still a few months away, but she’s already worrying about what will happen with my five-year-old half-brother (5M) when she goes back. She recently started telling me that I’m going to have to watch him after school, and I immediately told her no because there’s a good chance I’ll have a job by then. She responded by asking what would happen if I didn’t have a job, and she even offered to pay me $30 a day, but honestly, that still wasn’t enough to convince me.

Now, I want to explain why I’m so against this arrangement, because it isn’t simply a matter of me not wanting to spend time with a child. My half-brother is extremely rambunctious, has ADHD, and struggles to sit still for more than a few seconds, which has gotten him into trouble at school and resulted in him getting hurt on multiple occasions. On top of that, he barely listens to our mother, let alone me, and the only person he consistently seems to respect is his father, who I absolutely cannot stand. My half-brother also regularly tells me things like, “You can’t tell me what to do,” “You’re not my mom,” and “You’re not my dad,” whenever I try to correct his behavior.

The biggest issue, however, is the double standard when it comes to supervising him. If he’s running around and I tell him to stop before he hurts himself, he ignores me, and if I physically try to make him sit down, he starts crying and throwing a tantrum. Then I’m the one who gets yelled at because apparently, every time I watch him, he ends up crying, and I’m supposedly the one starting problems. But if I leave him alone and he ends up running into something or falling, suddenly I’m also at fault for not watching him closely enough.

And before anyone thinks I’m exaggerating, I have actual examples of this happening. There have been times when my mother and her soon-to-be ex-husband were home, but her husband would leave my half-brother with me without even asking or telling me he was doing so. If I tried to take him back to his father or stopped supervising him because I hadn’t agreed to babysit in the first place, I’d get yelled at for that, too. Basically, I’m expected to take responsibility for a child who doesn’t listen to me, even when nobody has actually asked whether I’m willing or able to take on that responsibility.

One incident in particular really stuck with me because it showed just how ridiculous this dynamic has become. My mother and I were in the kitchen together, and we could both see the living room, where my half-brother was playing. He put a laundry basket upside down, climbed on top of it, and started jumping off it, even though my mother explicitly told him to stop. He eventually fell and hit his head, and the first thing his father did was come downstairs asking where I was and why I hadn’t been watching him properly.

The problem? I wasn’t even supposed to be watching him, and my mother had been right there when it happened. She had to explain that she was present and had witnessed the entire incident herself before her husband stopped blaming me. When my mother later asked him why he kept holding me responsible whenever something happened to my half-brother, he explained that he was raised to believe that if one sibling got hurt in front of another, both would get in trouble so they’d learn to look out for each other. In my opinion, all this has accomplished is making me want to keep my distance from my half-brother because I don’t want to be blamed for every little thing that happens to him.

I understand that he’s only five, and I’m not expecting him to behave like an adult. I also understand that children with ADHD can have difficulties with impulse control and sitting still, and I’m not blaming him for having ADHD. However, I don’t think that automatically makes me responsible for providing childcare, especially when his parents have consistently undermined my authority while simultaneously expecting me to take responsibility for him.

There’s also the issue of his father potentially having to pick him up from our house on certain days. My mother and her husband are in the process of separating, and neither my grandfather nor I wants her husband coming to our house. I don’t want to be put in a position where I’m expected to facilitate that arrangement, either. Between the behavioral issues, the constant blame, my own plans to find employment, and the possibility of having to deal with someone I don’t want around, I simply don’t want to agree to this arrangement.

I explained all of this to my mother, particularly the fact that I don’t want to be held responsible if my half-brother gets hurt after ignoring my instructions. Instead of understanding where I’m coming from, she’s now saying that I’m not supportive of her, that I’m selfish, and that I’m unwilling to compromise. I understand that going back to work after being out for medical reasons can be stressful, and I’m not trying to make her life harder, but I don’t think that means I should automatically become her childcare solution.

So, AITJ for refusing to babysit my half-brother after school, even if I end up not having a job by the time my mother returns to work in January?

TLDR: My mother wants me to babysit my five-year-old half-brother for $30 a day when she returns to work in January, but he rarely listens to me and frequently gets hurt doing things he’s been told not to do. His father repeatedly blames me for incidents even when I’m not responsible for supervising him, and I get yelled at whether I try to discipline him or let his parents handle things themselves. I’m also looking for a job and don’t want to deal with my mother’s soon-to-be ex-husband coming to our house, but my mother says I’m selfish and unsupportive for refusing to help. AITJ?

I (29M) have been doing pub trivia with the same group of friends for a few months. It's become our regular weekend thing.

Last week we were doing pretty well until the host asked our team to step aside. At this bar they hand out question sheets and give everyone 15 minutes to submit their answers. Turns out one of my friends had been taking pictures of the questions and looking up answers on his phone during bathroom trips. Another friend knew about it. A staff member spotted him doing it.

The host explained what happened and told us our team was disqualified from winning any prizes that night. He handled it privately and didn't embarrass anyone.

The next morning one of those friends posted a negative Google review claiming the bar had accused us of cheating without evidence and embarrassed us in front of everyone.

The owner, who clearly didn't know the full story, responded apologizing and offering our group a free evening of drinks.

I messaged my friend privately and told him the review was unfair and he should delete it. His response was literally "hey dude free drinks is free drinks, whatever." I brought it up again later but he brushed me off and left the review up.

This is also my favorite pub and I really didn't want our entire group to become unwelcome there over a stupid review, especially when the staff hadn't done anything wrong.

So I eventually posted my own Google review explaining that I was on the team, what actually happened and that the host handled everything privately.

Now my friends are furious because his review has his real name on it and people we know have seen both reviews. They're saying I could've handled it privately instead of humiliating everyone over a stupid trivia game.

I told them I already tried handling it privately and got nowhere.

AITJ?

TL;DR: My friends got caught cheating at trivia and one left a fake negative review to get free drinks. I asked him privately to delete it but he refused, so I posted my own review explaining what happened. Now they're mad at me for exposing them, but I didn't want our whole group becoming unwelcome at my favorite pub.

My boyfriend got invited to a Halloween party from someone in his grad program. He just started this program in August and everyone in his program is invited. I asked to see the invite and it says that it will be at a bar and is open to everyone and invite anyone (this is for people in grad school as well as people not in the program). It is on Halloween night. 

I asked my boyfriend if he was going to go and he said “I’m not sure” and I said “do you want me to go too?” And he said “I’m not sure”. That hurt. I asked why he wasn’t sure and he gave three reasons:
1 ⁠he really hasn’t hung out with his peers at all and wants them to have a better shot getting to know him. He thinks that if I’m there he’ll be less inclined to put himself out there and socialize.
2 he doesn’t want to be distracted from socializing by making sure that I’m ok and having a good time. He said it would be different if he was already friends with these people and was sure I’d like them, but he doesn’t know them very well, only several people.
3 this one requires some backstory: I have relationship ocd which causes a lot of anxiety. In the past, I’ve given him a hard time (in private) about a few different things in social situations and it has (rightfully) put dampers on the majority of our shared social interactions since we started dating (it’s been about 10 months). Additionally, I have a habit of, whenever he mentions a woman’s name from his program at home, asking if he has a crush on her, finds her pretty, etc. He doesn’t want to have to potentially deal with that on a night when he wants to make new friends.

And since I struggle with OCD, I can’t really make any promises that that type of stuff won’t happen as the compulsions are hard to control- though I’ve never done this in front of people, all of this is done in one on one conversations.

On the one hand, I get where he’s coming from, but on the other, it’s Halloween and open invite! Plus I’m new(er) to the city we live in and don’t have many friends—good chance if I don’t go and he does, I’ll spend Halloween alone.

He said his initial reaction after reading the invitation was “oh it looks like I can invite my girlfriend” and then he started to reconsider if that’s what he really wanted.
In the past I’ve often worried about him cheating or emotionally cheating with zero evidence. I understand his reasoning, including not wanting to deal with my OCD, but still I feel like as a couple we should be working together.

I’m in OCD therapy with an ERP specialist and taking Zoloft (started about 2 months ago) but my OCD is spiraling right now and I’m thinking things like “what if he just wants people to think he’s single” or “what if there’s someone he’s interested in that he wants to talk to more and couldn’t if I go”.

Since he’s been in grad school, we do not get to spend as much time quality time together and he is often pulling all nighters. He’s not definite on a decision of me going or not (or even if he wants to go), but just the fact that he isn’t sure is what hurts. Any advice on if I should give him space to go or how I could address my concerns? Am I the jerk in this?

TLDR:
My boyfriend wants to go to a Halloween party someone in his grad program invited him to and he isn’t sure he wants me to come because he wants to be able to make new friends, not worry about me, and not deal with relationship OCD questioning afterwards. Am I the jerk for being sad he doesn’t want me to come?

My cousin is 13M and in 8th grade. He has no friends at all, but he isn't shy or antisocial he just hasn't made any friends. His parents wanted him to have a birthday party because he's in middle school and they want him to have friends expecially going into high school next year but they made flyers and literally put them around the school, inviting everyone who wants to come They're inviting all types of people they dont know literally nice people, mean people, popular people, wannabe gangsters, 67 types kids literally anyone. I understand that his parent thinks this is good but they naive literally I really don't want to go to this party because I have a bad feeling about it. Like I was in middle school like 4 years ago I have little sister in middle school these kids are literally a different breed now and I am not going I already made up my mind aitj for this?

Sophie of the trio here. A few Saturdays ago I brought home my new triplets from the hospital & I’ve had help from a nanny my husband & I hired to help with the babies. Since my nanny started she’s been an incredible help with my babies, helping with getting the trash out & getting the mail for me. But every single time she gets the mail my neighbor across the street approaches her saying to put the mail back it doesn’t belong to her, my nanny has had to call me to put me on speaker so I can watch my triplets but I tell my neighbor who I will call Britney for the sake of this story, “Britney this is my new nanny Kendra (not her real name) my triplets are home. She’s just helping me with household chores that include getting the mail for me stop harassing her.”

It has gotten to the point that I’ve had security cameras installed by my husbands friend facing the mailbox & has caught Britney several times confronting Kendra. Yesterday my husband watched the triplets while I went to the store & Britney was waiting for me when I got home by my mailbox asking where’s the nanny, I said not expecting her today. Britney before anyone asks if she has dementia or anything she is a woman in her mid-forties. I told her, “I had security cameras installed & I have footage of you harassing Kendra. I’m going to give you an ultimatum: either you let Kendra do her job or I’m going to report your harassment to the police.” As I went inside Britney shouted, “You can’t tell me what to do & I bet you didn’t get neighborhood approval for your security cameras! I’m reporting you to the head of HOA!”

I actually spoke to the HOA & I got the approval for the cameras to be installed. But am I the jerk for giving the ultimatum? Kendra has been an amazing nanny I don’t want her to quit.

I (17F) used to talk to a guy (17M) for two months, and things were going great until he told me he wanted to get pegged…

I was super weirded out that I started to distance myself until we ultimately stopped talking. Many of my friends have been saying that it wasn’t a deal breaker, but I think it was pretty reasonable for me to not like him after that.

(He also has a HUGE fixation on talking animals???)

Was I a jerk for not being interested anymore?

P.S. I had been giving him VERY clear signs, like telling him I didn’t want to talk to him, and that I didn’t want a bf, as a way to tell him I wasn’t feeling him anymore. It even got to the point where I unfollowed him, but he still followed me again and asked if I unfollowed him…..

It's been less than a day since I posted, and I already have an update.

This morning, HR emailed me asking if I could come in for a meeting tomorrow. They didn't give me any details, just said they wanted to follow up on my complaint.

Mark has also been acting differently around me. He hasn't said anything directly, but he's stopped making his usual jokes when I'm nearby.

The coworker who told me I should have handled things privately approached me during lunch. He said Mark was worried about the complaint and asked if I'd consider telling HR I didn't want anything to come of it.

I told him that wasn't what I wanted. I hadn't asked for Mark to be fired, but I wasn't going to pretend the incident hadn't happened just to make things easier for him.

My coworker said I was being stubborn and that I could end up making everyone uncomfortable at work.

What surprised me was that another coworker pulled me aside afterward and told me she'd been on the receiving end of Mark's comments before, particularly about her accent. She'd never reported him because she didn't want to deal with the drama.

She said she was glad someone had finally spoken up.

Now I'm wondering whether HR will actually do anything or whether this will turn into a situation where everyone blames me for making a complaint.

I'll update again after the meeting.

TL;DR: HR wants to meet with me tomorrow about my complaint. Mark's worried about the consequences, a coworker is pressuring me to back off, and another coworker has privately admitted Mark has made similar comments to her.

Tl;DR my friend is cutting me off over things I didn't do and she's saying I did

My friend ( 13 f) is cutting me (14 f) off saying I was making two of our mutual friends (both 14 m )uncomfortable but also me and them were joking the whole time I asked if he was uncomfortable and he said no he thought we were just joking, so I asked the next friend he said "no we just talk like that we always take jane at each other" she's cutting me off after she outed me to my friends for being gay, I sit by her in 2 classes she's saying that I'm being immature for trying to fix the friend ship even after she said it's over but I really care about her. Am I the jerk?

(Yes I know my grammar is bad and please don't just comment about my age I am within reddits age rules)

TL;DR: My twin brother and I have spent most of our lives bouncing between relatives because our biological mother was unstable and we experienced abuse and CPS involvement as children. We eventually found stability with an uncle who raised us for 12–13 years, but he tragically passed away in an accident in October 2025. After his death, another uncle and his girlfriend came from Florida to supposedly help us. This was the same uncle who had previously been ordered not to live with us when we were younger. Things went downhill quickly: they pawned our late uncle's belongings to buy weed, verbally abused us, neglected responsibilities, and eventually got into a physical altercation with my brother. After CPS failed to help us, we stayed with other relatives, but our next aunt began pressuring us for money. Eventually, my brother and I got our biological mother to sign paperwork allowing us to stay with our current aunt in Georgia, bought FlixBus tickets, and left Florida. We've now been in Georgia for about two months, and life has improved tremendously. Today, October 14, 2026, a judge officially granted my emancipation petition. So, were my brother and I wrong for leaving?

For some background, my twin brother and I have had a pretty complicated childhood.

When we were little, we bounced from person to person because our biological mother was apparently on the run. We initially stayed with her, and according to CPS records I've since seen, both my brother and I experienced abuse. One report even stated that I had a large knot on my forehead for weeks without receiving medical attention. My twin brother was also born with an STI that he contracted from our biological mother.

Eventually, we went to stay with one of our biological aunts, then with a biological uncle and his girlfriend. I don't remember much from that period, but there was another CPS report. That situation ended with the uncle receiving an order prohibiting him from living in the same home as us because of his involvement in selling illegal substances. From what I understand, though, he continued sneaking into the house while we stayed with his girlfriend.

Our biological mother eventually took us to Georgia. Around that time, there was also an entry into foster care in our records, but I couldn't find a corresponding exit date.

Eventually, we ended up living with another biological uncle in Georgia. I'll call him Uncle A. He was genuinely one of the best people in our lives. He did the best he could with what he had, taught us a lot of important lessons, and raised us for approximately 12–13 years. He eventually married the woman I'll call Aunt A.

Unfortunately, that all changed on October 14, 2025, when Uncle A was involved in a terrible accident and passed away.

The days following his death were devastating. We were grieving someone who had practically raised us, and we had no idea how much our lives were about to change.

A little after Uncle A died, another biological uncle and his girlfriend came up from Florida, supposedly to help us through everything.

I'll call him Uncle B and his girlfriend Aunt B.

For context, Uncle B was the same uncle I mentioned earlier who had received an order prohibiting him from living in the same home as my brother and me when we were younger. That order was connected to his involvement in selling illegal substances. From what I understand, he continued sneaking into the home despite the order.

At the time, we believed they were genuinely coming to help us. We had just lost the person who raised us, and we needed family support. We weren't thinking about our uncle's history or expecting the situation to turn into what it eventually became.

Before I explain what happened next, there's another person in this story I'll call Lauren. Lauren had four children with her husband, who was someone Uncle A strongly disliked.

When we returned home from the hospital after Uncle A's death, we discovered that his bedroom had been broken into. Lauren's husband had apparently broken in through a window and stolen things from the room. I noticed the window blinds were messed up, which made me realize something had happened.

The police were at the house approximately two hours after Uncle A died to deal with the situation. I'm not entirely sure what happened afterward, but I do know that Lauren's husband had a warrant and was later arrested.

Lauren's four children were eventually removed by CPS and placed with relatives from Tampa. That becomes relevant later.

Unfortunately, the problems involving Uncle A's belongings didn't end with the break-in.

Uncle B and Aunt B also began pawning some of Uncle A's things to get money to buy marijuana.

Let that sink in for a second. The uncle who had raised us for most of our lives had just died, and the relatives who came to supposedly help us were pawning his belongings to fund their weed purchases.

It was upsetting enough to lose someone who meant so much to us. Seeing his belongings being treated that way made the entire situation even worse.

In the meantime, we had to move belongings out of Uncle A's house and close everything down. My twin brother and I went to stay with Aunt A, who had been married to Uncle A.

The plan was for us to eventually go to Florida with Uncle B and Aunt B toward the end of the year. We also had several dogs, who ended up going to Florida with us.

At the time, we thought this would be a fresh start.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

Moving to Florida

When we arrived in Florida, we discovered that Uncle B and Aunt B were staying in a hotel room. The plan was for my brother and me to stay with Aunt B's mother until they managed to get their own place.

We stayed there for about two weeks.

During this time, several people who had known Uncle A continued helping us out. They bought us food and helped pay our phone bills whenever they came due. I genuinely appreciate those people because they helped us so much over the following months, especially when the people who were supposed to be taking care of us weren't doing their jobs.

Eventually, Uncle B and Aunt B found a place.

We moved into a three-bedroom, one-bathroom home. They received some kind of housing assistance that brought their rent down to approximately $1,620 a month, which was relatively inexpensive for the area and size of the place.

My brother and I were responsible for moving a lot of the belongings into the house.

As for sleeping arrangements, Uncle B and Aunt B got a huge air mattress for themselves, while everyone else was expected to sleep on the floor with blankets. This was during the middle of winter, so it wasn't exactly comfortable.

Eventually, a church donated furniture to us, which helped somewhat.

Then Aunt B's mother got kicked out of her own house and moved in with us. She slept on the couch for months. Even after she found another place in April, she continued coming back because she didn't like staying alone.

The house was already crowded, and things were getting increasingly stressful.

The way we were treated in that house

One of the biggest issues was the verbal abuse.

Whenever one of the kids did something wrong, or the adults thought someone hadn't heard them calling, they would call the kids useless, say they would never amount to anything in life, and complain about why they were even taking care of us.

My brother and I were also expected to handle practically everything ourselves. A family friend of Uncle A actually bought all of our clothes because Uncle B and Aunt B weren't buying us anything beyond food.

We were responsible for our own expenses and had to figure out a lot of things without much help.

The dogs were another major issue.

I kid you not, I can barely remember the dogs consistently having enough dog food during the approximately six months we lived there. They would go through bags of food, and when the food ran out, they were sometimes fed rice or whatever happened to be in the refrigerator instead.

I had already been thinking about letting the dogs go to someone else after Uncle A died. A friend of his wanted them, and I knew that person's dogs were well cared for. I was completely okay with the dogs going to a home where they would be properly looked after.

Unfortunately, that never happened, and the dogs continued living in those conditions.

Then there was the incident with one of the babies.

One afternoon, I came home from school at around 4 p.m. and noticed that the baby's diaper was completely full. From what I could tell, she hadn't been changed all day.

I went to ask the adults what was going on, only to discover that they were in their room drinking. Instead of doing it themselves, they told me to change the baby.

I didn't mind helping a child who needed help. What bothered me was that a baby had apparently been left in a dirty diaper for hours while the adults responsible for her were drinking.

There was also frequent marijuana smoking, and from what I observed, buying weed sometimes seemed to take priority over basic responsibilities.

This was especially frustrating considering that they had already pawned some of Uncle A's belongings to get money for marijuana.

At one point, while my brother and I were at school, Uncle B sent me a text complaining about the dogs repeatedly pooping in their cage. He blamed us and threatened to get rid of the dogs if we didn't fix the problem.

I responded that caring for the dogs wasn't supposed to be our responsibility because he had said he would take care of them.

He didn't respond, and he never brought up that particular conversation again.

But by then, I was exhausted.

My brother and I were trying to attend school, work toward our futures, and deal with the loss of the uncle who had raised us, all while living in a house where we didn't feel respected or properly cared for.

Eventually, I decided to make a CPS report.

The physical altercation and our first attempt to leave

Around that same period, my brother and Uncle B got into a physical altercation.

From what I understand, it started over a door being closed and my brother not giving up his phone when Uncle B tried to take it.

For context, my brother and I paid our own phone bills, and we had paid off our own phones.

The police arrived, and Uncle B claimed that my brother had been the one hitting him. From our perspective, the officers believed his version of events despite our concerns about Uncle B's history of violence, drinking, and substance use. He had also previously been convicted of a felony.

That night, my brother and I left the house and went to stay with a family friend.

Honestly, those two weeks were some of the best we'd had in Florida.

We had fun, felt more comfortable, and learned quite a few things about hygiene and taking care of ourselves. It was a relief to be somewhere that didn't feel like a constant source of stress.

But that didn't last.

On the day I graduated, we received the news that we had to return to Uncle B's house.

Apparently, our biological mother had been located and signed a notarized letter expressing her wishes for us to return.

The letter was presented as authorization for Uncle B to have custody of us until we turned 21. From what I understood, however, the letter itself did not establish legal custody. My understanding was that a notarized document and a court order granting custody are two different things.

Regardless, we were told we had to go back.

We didn't want to.

After returning, I made another CPS report. A worker visited the following day, and my brother and I explained what had been happening.

Unfortunately, we didn't feel that the worker helped us. After speaking with Uncle B, the worker's attitude toward us seemed to change completely.

At that point, we left to stay with another aunt.

Things seemed better with our next aunt, until money became an issue

Initially, things were pretty good at our other aunt's house. She did a lot for my brother and me and gave us somewhere to stay.

However, over time, we began noticing that she had a serious gambling problem and financial issues.

She received approximately $1,500 a month in retirement income, and her rent was only around $280. She would get upset with her daughter for giving her only $200 every two weeks.

Once my brother and I started working, she began asking us for more and more money.

I tried to help when I could, but it became increasingly difficult to keep up with my own expenses.

At one point, I was late paying my phone bill in August because she kept asking for additional money.

Then she showed me her eviction notice.

I felt pressured to help because she made it seem like I would be a terrible person if I didn't contribute. So I sent her $150.

Afterward, she asked me for another $100.

I sent her $50 more and explained that I couldn't help beyond that.

I wasn't refusing to help out of spite. I was working, trying to pay my own bills, and attempting to build some financial stability for myself and my brother. I couldn't keep giving away money that I needed for my own expenses.

By this point, I was tired of moving from one relative's house to another, never knowing whether the next place would actually be stable.

We had already lost the person who raised us. We had dealt with multiple homes, CPS involvement, mistreatment, and a physical altercation. All we wanted was somewhere we could live without constantly worrying about what would happen next.

The decision to get on a bus

While all of this was happening, I was also going through the legal process of getting emancipated.

My brother and I eventually got in contact with our biological mother and had her sign legal paperwork giving our current aunt in Georgia permission to care for us.

Once we had that paperwork, we made our decision.

That Saturday, my brother and I got on a FlixBus and left Florida for Georgia.

We weren't trying to hurt anyone or make some dramatic statement. We simply wanted to live somewhere we felt safe and where we could actually focus on our lives.

We returned to Georgia, where our aunt welcomed us.

And honestly? Life has been amazing since then.

We've been here for approximately two months, and the difference is incredible.

Our aunt buys us things we actually need. She doesn't constantly demand money from us. I contribute $150 a month toward the internet, additional electricity, and the food my brother and I eat.

She doesn't make us feel guilty for existing or treat us like we're burdens.

She genuinely cares about us.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like my brother and I can actually breathe.

I'm working, making decent money, attending college, and planning for my future. I'm hoping to join the Air Force next July, and I'm working toward building a stable life for myself.

My brother and I have been through more than most people our age should ever have to experience. We're finally getting the opportunity to move forward instead of constantly trying to survive whatever family situation we're placed in next.

One year later: I finally got emancipated

Today is October 14, 2026.

Exactly one year after Uncle A passed away, I received the news that the judge had granted my emancipation petition. As I'm writing this, it happened approximately an hour and a half ago.

I'm officially legally emancipated.

It's hard to explain how much that means to me after everything we've been through. I can finally move forward with more independence and continue working toward the future I've been trying so hard to build.

I'm working, making good money, attending college, and planning to join the Air Force next July. I finally have things to look forward to instead of constantly worrying about where my brother and I will end up next.

I wish Uncle A could have been here to see this. He was one of the people who genuinely cared about us, and I think he would have been proud of how far we've come.

My brother and I have had a difficult life, but we're finally getting back on track.

So, are me and my brother wrong for getting on a bus and leaving the state to stay with our aunt?

I've always been fairly careful about how I spend money. Not cheap, exactly. I'll happily spend on things I enjoy, treat my friends occasionally, and contribute to group plans. But I don't believe that just because I can afford something, I should automatically have to pay for it.

I'm currently on a trip with a group of friends, and something happened that's made me question whether I'm being unreasonable.

I don't drink alcohol. My friends do, which has never been an issue. They can order whatever they want, and I'm perfectly happy sitting with them and having a good time.

The problem came when we started dividing our expenses.

Everyone wanted to split the total equally, including the alcohol. I pointed out that I hadn't had a single drink and would rather pay for my own food and my share of the actual group expenses. But a couple of my friends pushed back, saying we were on a group trip and that splitting everything individually was making things unnecessarily complicated.

Then someone brought up how much I earn.

Apparently, because I make decent money, I shouldn't be making a fuss over a few thousand rupees.

Why is my salary even relevant here? I work for my money, and just because I have enough to spend doesn't mean I want to spend it on alcohol I don't consume.

I wasn't asking anyone to subsidize my food or cover my share of the hotel. I was perfectly willing to pay for everything I actually participated in.

I also understand that on group trips, you can't calculate every single expense down to the last buck. Sometimes someone orders an extra dish or someone else takes a longer cab ride, and you let it go. That's part of travelling together.

But alcohol can be a significant expense, especially over multiple days. It feels different from someone ordering an extra plate of fries.

Now I am being tagged as the mood killer of the entire trip somehow, I don't believe I deserve this treatment.

Maybe I'm being too rigid about this. Should I just pay to maintain the peace of the trip? IDK. AITJ here?

TL;DR: Friends asking split bill equally for alcohol and I don't drink. This is causing problems.

TL;DR I allegedly made fun of my bfs friend while drunk and my bf is pissed at me

Last night I was really drunk with my friend, when I came home from the bar my bf was asleep. Apparently I was making fun of his friend when I was drunk. I don't remember this at all my bf swears it happened and he's super pissed at me.

I'm going to ask my friend in the morning if I did (it's 6 am), which I don't think I did. I don't think I should be blamed for something I don't remember regardless, he's adamit that I should. In the past he's made fun of my friend soooo many times I don't think its fair to judge me for something I don't remember saying when he's said way worse sober. I allegedly called his friend fat which I don't think I would do because I don't think he's fat at all. Apparently I also mentioned he's only had one gf he met off of Reddit.

I think my bf was asleep and mis remembering but he's adamit I did it. I told him I was sorry but don't think I should have to apologize for something I don't remember saying. Which pissed him off even more and he stormed out to go to work. So am I the asshole here? I don't think he has a right to be upset with me over this.

She refused to acknowledge my birthday. I turned 20 yesterday and she only said happy birthday because she was pried to.

Instead she went on some rant on me being ungrateful and said that since I’m 20 i need to be out of her house especially since I stopped giving her money. I stopped giving her money because she wasn’t using it for rent. She was using it to fund her and my brother’s shenanigans. I can’t even afford to move out and i haven’t even worked in a while so i’m especially limited on money right now too.

I’m just frustrated why was it such a crime to acknowledge my birthday?? And you use it as an excuse to get rid of me.

I 23f hosted a pot luck a few days ago. Costumes weren't required, all I asked from my guests was to please respect my and my fiance's pets. Due to my demanding job, I had been way to busy to even think of costumes. If you would like to know then read below to the next paragraph or you can skip.

I work with preschoolers, average a day i see 26 kids or higher, all with different needs, disabilities, allergies, and more. Recently a child fell on his head, causing a Crack and a mind concussion. State is now reviewing our school and parents have recently dropped the lawsuit. (I was not a teacher in this child's class, although I see him after school during a care program. I am very happy he is doing better now and he has been healing.)

One family member E, texted the group chat first asking if anyone else isn't dressing up, i replied that I hadn't, I was so busy that I forgot.

Cousin Y 20 F, then texted me the day before the party :OP like every single day I go to school and do homework until I have to sleep or go straight to work until late at night, and I'm staring a business so I've had no time either but I when you said you were planning a party I still made sure to get and tailor a costume. It makes me sad to be so busy and still put in effort and then to hear you guys might not even dress up 🥺I dont even mean this as a "my problems matter more than yours" I know you're really busy and I understand that, but it makes me sad that only a possibility that you'll do something small We're dressing up and you're meeting my boyfriend and (other person's) girlfriend, and to be honest I dont want my boyfriend to be embarrassed for dressing up when you guys aren't

Trying to be the bigger person I replied with: I understand where you're coming from. I just feel like my life has been a bit busy no matter if I make time. Will your boyfriend be embarrassed? Has he communicated this to you? I am probably taking this the wrong way. I just want to make clear that fiancee and I tried but we just have very demanding jobs. We almost canceled but pushed through just so that everyone can see eachother. I understand your disappointment but I'm going to just try.We have alot going on in our lives recently outside of jobs. I have been dealing with things along side my future in laws, pertaining his family. We will do our best if that what makes you feel comfortable.

The things I have been helping my future fiancée which includes my cousin in law being almost drunk stalked by her baby's father, an uncle going homeless and redoing drugs again after my fiancée's grandfather father committed suicide, and another uncle going no contact with the family when a grandfather in Lebanon is dying and asking for said uncle) I didn't reply with reasons due to being sad, and not wanting to make myself look Like a victim.

That night I absolutely balled. Although she explained it later she meant to harm by her message and just wanted to show that she was sad I didn't put any effort for her to come. Call me old fashioned or petty, but not once did she ask what or why has gotten me this stressed and busy. I felt as if my efforts for hosting within my own home wasn't enough. She made me feel i do not have any excuses a costume, that i am not using my time efficiently, and i would embarrass her new boyfriend. I want to make clear, if the roles were reversed i would've responded the following: Hey Y I'm sorry to hear you and P are busy and his family has been keeping you away from this I am just upset because I put alot of care into my costume. I will still come because I miss you, is there anything I can do so I can make the party run smoothly?

The day of the party i called E (the original person who asked if anyone else isn't dressing up) and asked if she had also messaged him the same, she didn't. I was absolutely livid.

Half of the guest were dressed, the others weren't which made me more furious. So I messaged her the next day.

My message: Hey Y, I wanted to just write this out. Your message to me about the costumes the day before the party. I felt offended and demeaned. Not only did you text me not even asking about what or why I have been busy. I felt as if you cared more about a costume than a party I hosted. Why would your boyfriend care if I was in a costume or not. I have drafted many messages trying to respond in the most kindest way, however i feel very disrespected. After your message I was contemplating about canceling the party last minute. after looking back i wonder why you cared so much about my effort when it was my party at my home. There were other people without costumes or low effort costumes. Why would you message me about my time? The audacity is clear on what you think of me and Fiance's time. I would understand if this was your party and I didn't dress up, however this was mine. How dare you message me only about my party, my apartment, and what you assume what I do with my time. I want to clearly state this, next time if you feel like I'm not putting in effort with my party bothers you please come to me kinder. My bestfriend has been kinder than what you sent me. Even i texted about my problems with Fiance's family taking priority. You didn't even ask or feel concerned. You felt more concerned over a costume. Out of the kindess of my soon to be mother in law's heart, she got me the costome you saw yesterday. I know you only messages me about a costume. I dont care of you're younger than me or being the bigger person. Moving forward at my events, please message kinder privately if a costume is your biggest concern.

That morning she cried and tried explaining herself, although I dont feel like i did anything wrong. She started this, she brought up her boyfriend and other people. I was the only person she personally messaged after learning i wasn't the only one dressing up. Now we are in low contact for the future. Sure did I go off. But my friends have said I needed to go harder, while family says I shouldn't had said anything.

Its honestly a huge mess after.

I'm Chinese, married to a husband who not Chinese. Next month Dec will be 17 years together, 15 years married in Feb. Basically 17 years is almost 2 decades long he gives his life to me, I also give mine to him.

My parents (whom both deceased now) but back when they alive, especially my mother, she never accepted my husband because of his ethnicity. Up until my mother death she still not accepted him as a son in-law.

My mother has no reason to discriminate against him (other than he not Chinese), because this is a very educated man, we talking about Master degree at Stanford educated. And a career of Executive with a 1 million salary a year.

I write that out because Chinese mothers they want someone who financially stable that can take care of their daughter, which my husband has that, therefore there no reason for why my mother not accept him.

But what matter is he treats me really really well 16 years long, faithful to me, dotes on me in bed and outside of bed, he is an awesome husband.

Both my parents deceased now so I thought I am from from the shackle of Chinese culture, and how I was raised, and what instill in my brain from my mother. But frankly, I'm not. It like deep down inside me I mind his ethnicity (that he not Chinese).

BUT I know I love him, 16 years long I'm faithful to him just as he faithful to me. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I only love him and want him. The thoughts of other men touch me gross me out. I love him so much that I never think of continue living if God forbid he die before me.

BUT why I just cannot get pass the fact that he not Chinese. This is something that I struggle with in the whole 16 years with him, it not new. It the internal struggle that I have internal conflict inside myself. It like I won't let myself love him.

No, there nothing wrong with us married and together. He was 25 and I was 26 when we met, we both were single, no baggage of previous exes, as both do not have kids prior, both never married prior. This is first marriage for both. There nothing wrong with us be together morally.

I KNOW I love him. But I just can't get over his ethnicity. I just can't, and I cannot lie to myself. You can lie to the whole world, but you can't never lie to yourself.

I am scare, that I'm indeed just like my mother who discriminate against him. But I know I'm not, it just for some reason I cannot accept his ethnicity. I don't know how to explain it, it like it is taboo to love him. I not even sure taboo is the right word, as English is my third language.

I did think perhaps I have a very dysfunctional childhood, my childhood fuck me up, so ion my adulthood I just won't let myself be happy, that I'm self-sabotage. But the thing is, both my parents deceased already, I am free of that shackle. I think it just me, deep down inside I just can't get over the fact that he not Chinese.

TLDR: I said I needed to get back to my boyfriend. My friend (who lost his husband a few years ago) thought it was a personal jab and told me to f off. Now we don’t talk.

Me: Me

Friend A: Star

Friend B: Kevin

Some backstory: Star lost his husband 3to4 years ago we’ve been close friends throughout that time and longer before than too.

so earlier last year Star, Kevin and I were talking about a show we all like. We disagreed about some characters I supported one character and they liked another but their defense got really sexist one of them even said my favorite character would lose a fight because she’d be on her period even tho the series dpicts her to be one if the the strongest people but they weren't listening by than the conversation was at its end but also my boyfriend had just woken up from a nap and I wanted to spend time with him so i left the call. (I said by ovy)

Later Star texted me saying he didn’t want long messages I thought the conversation was over so i left and wasn't going to message him rn but tomorrow he said ok and added that I got to get back with my boyfriend which, again I would’ve done either way because he was up

Starr then blew up. He told me to Foff, accused me of intentionally hurting him, and said I had no right to say that to him. I was completely shocked I immediately apologized even though I didn’t think I did anything wrong because I understood grief can make things more sensitive.

He didn’t respond for 1 to 2 days after during that time, Kevin kept telling me I needed to apologize more and that I didn’t understand that it was about Star not me but Star had already said some really hurtful things and assumed I was being malicious that made no sense to me i had always been there for him and he himself said i was one of his few friends who really understand

so after the couple of days with no reply I messaged Star again. I told him I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I also didn’t feel like I deserved to be insulted over something I hadn’t meant maliciously. he left me on read.

Eventually I blocked him but before that Kevin old me I needed to be more sympathetic and criticized my language even when I asked how what I said was offensive, he couldn't give me a straight answer but before blocking Kevin, I did bring up a private matter between him and Star that I absolutely should not have shared I admit that was wrong and I regret that but i was livid kevin would pop in an out of our friend group, and now he's trying to play white night when a few days prior their friendship was on a thread.

After I blocked both of them by than Star sent me another message but I didn’t read it all The first few sentences were more insults so I left him blocked.

A month later i unblocked him thinking maybe we could fix things. But my friends and family told me not to apologize again that I didn’t do anything wrong and doing so would just excuse how he treated me. Still I thought about it because I missed him. It’s been over a year now i don’t have many close friends and he was my closest I know it wouldn’t be the same, but I still i really miss him alot and i wonder was this my fault even after i explained, there was no malice in my words should I have just said sorry to still be friends.

so AITJ for not apologizing should I have swallowed my pride or was his reaction over the line?

I will concede though I should have not said that to kevin.

That was the story I took everyone's advice. I didn't message him what I thought about him quite often. Trying to poke and prad seeing if other people knew how he was doing until about six days ago, which leads to now the Update:

Less than a week ago, Star ended up contacting me out of nowhere. He messaged me, and things were simple at first, but we opened up pretty quickly about wanting to start the friendship again. We were both receptive and excited about it. My heart honestly dropped because I felt like I was finally getting my friend back.

We called on Instagram and talked about everything from anime to relationships to the trips he's been on. He even told me he was proud of me for what I've been able to accomplish, which honestly felt really good. I felt like I had him back. I felt like I finally had that validation from someone who meant a lot to me.

We didn't talk about what happened between us, at least not yet. I figured it was too soon, and everything was going well, so I didn't want to ruin the moment by bringing it up before we were ready. After dinner, I called him again while I was cleaning my house. We were on good terms, and we were planning on talking and playing games again when I got home.

For context, I live about two hours outside the city, and I was going there while my boyfriend was seeing his extended family. At some point, I texted Star and told him I'd message him the next day. I ended up getting busy, and I didn't think it would be a huge problem. When I got back about four days later, I messaged him as soon as I could, letting him know I'd be able to play Xbox again, since that's where we primarily hung out.

Only to find out I was blocked.

I genuinely don't understand why. We had just had an amazing five-hour conversation, really opened up to each other, and left things on a good note. We were making plans to play games again, and I thought we were finally rebuilding our friendship.

The original falling-out felt like this melancholic bruise I'd been carrying around for the last three years. This felt like getting punched in the stomach. Like I wasn't just losing the friendship all over again, but getting completely gutted after thinking I'd finally gotten him back.

I calmed down a bit, and I was pretty upset, so I messaged Kevin. He and I haven't really talked since everything happened, and I was honest and direct with him. I basically said that I knew he didn't owe me anything, but he probably knew Star and I had started talking again, and I was just wondering if he knew why Star had blocked me. He never got back to me.

I even ended up messaging two other people to ask if they knew what happened, but it turns out neither of them had talked to Star in a long time.

I also ended up using an alternate account to message Star. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't have, but I was upset and confused. I started the message by asking him to please unblock me, and then explained that I thought we'd had a good conversation and that I was hoping this time we could actually talk about what happened between us.

He hasn't gotten back to me.

Now I'm sitting here racking my brain, trying to figure out why he blocked me. Maybe he somehow saw my original Reddit post. Maybe he talked to Kevin. Maybe something else happened entirely. I honestly have no idea.

He even changed his username, so I shouldn't have been able to find him, but my alternate account had him added already. He never knew about that account, and I'd honestly forgotten about it until now.

I know a lot of people told me I shouldn't message him, and I'm not going to ignore that advice completely, but I feel like a lot of people don't realize how much I genuinely cared about him and still do. I didn't just want to be right about the original argument. I wanted him to understand that I never intentionally hurt him, and I wanted us to be able to acknowledge what happened and move forward.

I still feel like I deserve an apology for how he treated me, but I also recognize that he deserves an apology for me bringing up that private conversation between him and Kevin. I'm not going to act like I'm a saint. We've clashed heads before, and I know I've made mistakes, but I never wanted to hurt him.

What really hurts is that he told me I was there for him during some of the hardest times in his life. We had years of friendship before everything happened, and I always thought that meant something. I still think it did, which is why this is so hard to understand.

I was genuinely happy when he told me he was proud of what I'd accomplished. It felt like I'd finally done something right, like I'd been holding my breath for years waiting to hear something like that from him. And then, suddenly, he was gone again.

At least the first time, I knew why we stopped talking. We had a huge argument, and even though I disagreed with how he handled it, I understood what had happened. This time, I don't even have that. We had a five-hour conversation, everything seemed good, and we made plans to play games when I got back. Then nothing.

I'm mostly just updating because I honestly don't have much else to do right now. I'm sitting here looking at the stupid Pokémon gift I bought him years ago, thinking about everything he told me, how I was there for him during his hardest times, and how happy I was thinking we'd finally get our friendship back.

And now I'm right back where I started, except somehow it hurts even more this time.

I genuinely don't know what happened, and I don't know if I'll ever get an explanation. I just really miss my friend.

I miss him and this hurts more than I'd like to admit

( for quick clarification, this all happened three years ago. I only posted about a year ago when I started thinking about contacting him again so in terms of timeline discrepancy, for anyone's confusion. That is why we have technically not spoken for 3 years. I asked a year ago and he just contacted me this week )

Hi everyone. I need an impartial perspective on this because my family is making me feel like the worst person in the world, and I’m starting to second-guess myself.
I (26) work full-time Monday through Friday (around 40–45 hours a week). My weekends are literally my only time to rest, run errands, clean my apartment, workout, and have any kind of personal life.

My brother (32) and his wife have two kids, ages 5 and 8. A couple of months ago, my brother asked if I could watch my niece and nephew on a Saturday afternoon because they had an important event. I happily agreed because I love the kids and it was a one-time favor.
The issue is that this quickly turned into a routine without my consent. Over the last month and a half, my brother started assuming I’m available every Saturday and Sunday. It reached the point where he would casually text me late Friday night saying, "Dropping the kids off tomorrow at 10:00 AM," so he and his wife could go to the gym, go out to eat, or just relax.
Last weekend, I decided to set a boundary. I politely told my brother that while I love my niece and nephew, taking care of two active young kids takes a lot of energy, and I need my weekends to recharge and manage my own life. I suggested that if he wanted this to be a regular thing, we could agree on a small fee for my time, or limit it to one afternoon a month.
He completely blew up. He acted offended, told me that "you don't charge family," and accused me of being cold, selfish, and unsupportive.

To make matters worse, he brought our parents into it. Now my parents are calling me constantly, telling me that family always supports each other unconditionally, that it "costs me nothing" to watch my niece and nephew for a few hours, and that I should be ashamed of myself for asking for money or saying no.

I love my niece and nephew, but I feel taken advantage of. I feel like they are using emotional guilt and the "family" card to get a free, permanent babysitter at the expense of my free time and mental well-being.
AITA for holding my ground and refusing to babysit them for free every weekend?

TL;DR: My brother assumes I should babysit his two kids (ages 5 and 8) for free every weekend. When I tried to set boundaries or ask for compensation for regular babysitting, he called me selfish and got our parents involved, who are now guilt-tripping me for not putting family first.

A little backstory. Me (M24) and my girlfriend (25F) have been together for almost 6 years, having started dating in university. Around November 2025, I noticed a pretty significant change in her demeanour. She wasn't cold or distant towards me, if anything, it was the complete opposite. She suddenly became excessively affectionate, which was unusual for her because, although she'd always been loving, she'd never been the type to constantly tell me how much she loved me or be overly affectionate out of nowhere. It genuinely felt like it had come out of nowhere, and something about the sudden change felt off.

A few weeks later, I started noticing other changes in her behaviour. She'd stopped hanging out with her friends as much and seemed to want to spend more and more of her free time with me, to the point where she didn't want us to be apart for very long. At the same time, she became unusually paranoid about who I was going out with, where I was going, and who I'd be spending time around. This wasn't normal for her at all. We'd always had a pretty relaxed relationship, and neither of us had ever been particularly controlling. It was strange, but I didn't make a deal out of something. Christmas came around, and we spent it apart, with me visiting my family and her visiting hers, which was usual for us.

By April 2026, her demeanour had started returning to normal, and we'd settled back into our usual routine. We started discussing our fourth trip together, which we normally booked well in advance for October, and began looking at hotels, bars, and places we wanted to visit. During that conversation, she suggested a very specific hotel and bar, telling me we should definitely go because she'd been there before and had an amazing time. What caught my attention was that she'd never mentioned visiting the place before, and she usually tells me when she goes somewhere with her friends, so I casually asked her when she'd been.

Her response just didn't sit right with me. She seemed quick to brush the question aside, telling me she'd gone shortly before we met, before immediately moving the conversation on to other parts of the trip. Again I didn't push it, but I couldn't shake that pit in my stomach feeling.

That evening, mostly out of curiosity, I decided to Google the place to see what it was like, and that's when I discovered it had only opened in 2023. We'd been together since 2020, so her explanation made absolutely no sense. I couldn't understand why she'd lie about something so insignificant, especially when there is no reason for her to do so.

I ended up looking through the venue's Instagram page and noticed that Instagram has a map feature that lets you search for posts from a particular location. Again, out of curiosity (or possibly paranoia, IDK), I decided to look through posts from around November 2025, which was when I'd first noticed her behaviour changing. There weren't many photos to scroll through, and I wasn't expecting to find anything, but I kept clicking through them, checking upload dates and moving on to the next one. I was doing this for a little while, expecting to find nothing so I could put the whole thing out of my mind.

That was until I came across a photo of my girlfriend with a male friend of hers, someone I recognised because he'd been part of her social circle for a while. Suddenly, her behaviour over the past few months started making a lot more sense, particularly the way she'd gradually stopped talking about her friends and seemed to have stopped spending time with them around the same time her demeanour changed.

I clicked on his profile, and, luckily for me, it was public. He'd tagged the location in his photos, so I could see they were at the exact same venue she'd recommended for the trip. I kept looking through his posts and found six photos of the two of them together, two of which showed them kissing, with one captioned something along the lines of "in love."

My Spidey senses were right. She'd cheated on me. The dates lined up with the change in her behaviour, and there were literally photos of them kissing on his Instagram. I was devastated, but weirdly, I was also relieved that the pit in my stomach was right. As I scrolling through the instagram photos, I started feeling like some sort of psychopath for going down this rabbit hole, but at the same time, I felt vindicated.

I didn't tell her or confront her. I just took screenshots and then did absolutely nothing. I think my mind went into some sort of shutdown because I couldn't process anything. I knew I was completely checked out of the relationship, but I didn't know how to end it. We'd been together for over 5 years, and it felt surreal to realise that the person I was building my life around had been cheating on me.

Almost immediately, my behaviour towards her changed. I stopped asking questions, stopped being intimate with her, and generally just existed around her while trying to figure out what I was going to do. We still had six months left on our apartment agreement, and I was paying the rent, so I knew I had some practical things to sort out before I could leave. I also knew I wasn't going to stay with her or listen to a bunch of excuses about why it happened, but I didn't want to confront her while I was still living with her because I felt like it would turn into a chaotic, emotionally exhausting situation.

So I decided to keep quiet and make arrangements to leave. I know that probably sounds cowardly, but I genuinely didn't know how else to handle it at the time. I wasn't interested in an argument or trying to make her jealous. I just wanted out, and I wanted to be gone before the inevitable confrontation happened.

In the meantime, I let her continue planning our October trip. I'd already paid for it, and until two days ago, I just carried on with my life as best I could. I got tested for STIs, started going to the gym a lot more, texted her less, and stopped being intimate with her altogether. Honestly, I just stopped caring about the relationship. She noticed that I was acting differently, but whenever she asked, I told her work had been stressful and that I was in line for a newer, better position. Obviously this wasn't the truth.

Now, here's where the AITJ part comes in (if not already).

Two days ago, we were getting ready to leave for our trip. Everything was packed, our flight tickets and passports were ready, and she was excited to go. I told her that something had come up with my new job and that I'd have to deal with it before flying out, so I'd meet her at our destination a day or so later. Obviously, that was another lie. She was upset that I wouldn't be travelling with her, but she eventually went ahead without me.

While she was away (flying and arriving at the destination), I'd already arranged for movers to come and take all my belongings out of the apartment and move them to my brother's place. I'd planned everything in advance, and by the time they were finished, there was nothing of mine left in the apartment. I'd also given the landlord notice two months earlier that I wouldn't be renewing the tenancy when it ended in November. My girlfriend didn't know any of this. I was the one paying the rent, and I'd already made the decision to leave.

About 16 hours later, I started getting calls from her. I didn't answer. Then came more calls, followed by text messages, and I still didn't respond. Once everything was moved out and I was finally settled, I sent her a single message with the screenshot of her kissing him, taken from his Instagram. Underneath it, I wrote: "Have a nice trip. I won't be here when you come back."

Since then, I've had 64 missed calls and more text messages than I can even count. I haven't answered any of them.

Part of me feels like a total ahole and jerk because I could have ended things months ago instead of letting her believe everything was normal and allowing her to go on a trip with the expectation that I'd join her. I know that deliberately keeping her in the dark and letting her find out this way wasn't exactly the mature thing to do, and I could have handled the situation more directly.

But another part of me feels like she made her choices, and I was under no obligation to stay in a relationship with someone who'd betrayed me like that. I didn't cheat, I didn't lie about being faithful, and I didn't ask her to spend six years of her life with me while secretly seeing someone else. I just wanted to leave without getting dragged into an argument or being talked into staying.

So, AITJ?

TLDR: Discovered my girlfriend of nearly 6 years was cheating on me after finding photos of her kissing a male friend on Instagram. Instead of confronting her, I quietly checked out of the relationship, arranged to move all my belongings out while she was away on our planned October trip, and sent her a screenshot of the photos with the message, "Have a nice trip, I won't be here when you come back." Now she's blowing up my phone, and I'm wondering if I was a jerk for letting her find out that way instead of ending things face to face.