**My boyfriend 34M and I 36F have been together going on five years. We have a great life together. I help raise his two children and for the most part, we are really happy. On occasion, one issue keeps rearing its head in our relationship. My boyfriend, we will call him S has been friends with this girl we will call her Deena since they were teenagers. I never really had an issue with this friendship until about a year ago when I found something out. It turns out that S proposed to Deena years back. From what I was told, their relationship was always strictly platonic. But this changed things for me and the way I viewed their relationship. It made me really uncomfortable and now seems to start a fight because S doesn’t see this as a big deal because Deena said no. To his proposal. Deena is getting married next year and she asked S to be one of her “bridesmaids”. I’m already dreading this because even the thought of seeing him standing next to her in a wedding dress is making me sick. But that’s my own insecurities and that’s not where the issue lies. We have an open phone policy, though we don’t often look at each others phones. There’s not really anything to hide on either of our phones. But one day fairly recently, I was upset enough to where I looked at S’s messages with Deena. In the messages, it’s clear they talked in person at some point because I was trying to gain context from the text messages. They were talking about a ring. She said that she has to okay the ring meaning if he gets an engagement ring for me, she has to approve of it. This is the first issue at hand. While I know of her, I don’t know her. Her and S barely hang out so I’ve never met her in person. She doesn’t know me therefore she doesn’t know anything about me or what I would like. And the thought of her being involved in picking out my ring what should be something that comes from S bothers me. This is an incredibly personal thing and I feel like she’s inserting herself. I don’t want her involved at all.**
**Already I was annoyed and upset by reading those messages, but further down, she said she expects to be in the wedding as “the best man”. This role I assumed was reserved for S‘s actual best friend but I digress. I know I may be jumping the gun even thinking this far ahead about wedding logistics but I’m very big on respect. I’m not asking S to stop being friends with her, but I need to know if I’m being unreasonable when the time comes to say, I’m not comfortable having this girl in our wedding. The idea of walking out into the church or venue on our big day and looking down the aisle to see my future husband standing next to the girl he once to proposed to is not sitting well. I need to know if I am being unreasonable in this scenario? It’s driving me crazy and I need some perspective.**

Me and my ex have been broken up for 4 months now. Only recently did I start remembering little details of our relationship that now rubs me the wrong way or idk. We were together for 8 months. I kinda shoved some stuff about him to the back of my mind but now it’s coming back to light. I can’t stop thinking about this. For the first half of our relationship, whenever I’d not be in the mood for intimacy, he’d have no problem with it. He was extremely patient with me and never made me feel ashamed for the times I didn’t wanna be intimate. For the last half of our relationship, he would sort of beg me for intimacy. I got on birth control and it made me less sexual/horny. He never really shamed me for being less sexual or anything like that. I just remember times that he would ask for head and I’d be like sorry baby I’m not really in tye mood, he would be like pleaseee baby I’m rlly horny rn. I’d be hesitant but after a bit, I’d eventually give in. Idk how to feel about it. It was multiple times that he would keep on insisting for intimacy. Idk if I’m just looking too much into it or being too sensitive or smth like that. During our relationship he was rlly sweet, for some reason I still kinda miss him. Keyword: kinda. He wasn’t abusive physically or emotionally. I just can’t get out of my head the times where he would beg me even after I’d say that I’m not in the mood. I’m not pissed, but I’m not happy about it either. I don’t really feel anything towards it at least not at the moment. It’s really been sticking with me. I don’t know what to think of it of how to feel. The memories are just- there

​

I've talked with him about it multiple times and he always says things like oh u're overreacting and most people wouldn't have a problem because it was just a joke and wouldn't react like that and in the end he apologizes but says he can't control what he laughs at.

For example a friend of his made fun of my ears and how they're like an elephant's ears and something about me flying away if the wind blew too hard ( cause they're a bit prominent ) and he laughed at that yk and I'm just trying to figure out if it's reasonable for a bf to not want his other part laughing with jokes made about his appearance or if I'm genuinely overreacting?

Note* We are in a relationship

I female have been with my boyfriend for just over eight months (I know it’s not long but it’s my first committed relationship in a long time.) He comes over all the time and also sleeps, I live with my sister who sleeps on my sofa. As my boyfriend is over constantly they have a very close friendship and it’s rare for my sister to like my boyfriends but I’ve come to grow really tired of how good their relationship is. Yes I love the fact they are close but I’m starting to feel that he trusts her more than he trusts me. Everything I find out about him comes from her and it’s kind of pissing me off. I found out that he was quitting vaping and smoking and I found out from her.

I was on our shared iPad and saw that at 5:27 he was voice noting her so I opened it because I thought well I’ll just tell her because she is busy. He told her that he was on a train and that it was a train that goes to the town/city his ex girlfriend lives in, he was on his way back to our town but he didn’t have to mention her in my opinion, as they have been broken up since the first of January 2026 and we have been together since the 8th of February 2026. He mentions her all the time and it makes me really upset. We made an agreement that he wouldn’t talk about if I didn’t talk about my favourite wrestling star because he is extremely jealous of him.

It’s making me really sad. I don’t know if I should say something or stay quiet because every time I talk about my feelings to him we end up in a big argument and he threatens to leave me.

When he arrived he came into my room said hi and what not he then asked me where his rolling box is and told me he was going downstairs. I told him that I was trying to have a chill day and just wanted to stay in bed today. He responded with, you can stay upstairs if you don’t want to come down. He is supposed to come up to see me not smoke weed. I went downstairs because I didn’t want to be rude. We then didn’t have a conversation the whole time he was here.

Then he invited his friend up to smoke with us, they then proceeded to play guitar the whole time, he rolled one up and then decided he was going to leave, I asked if we could watch one episode of a show we are watching it’s called reacher it’s on prime. And he said he had to go, it was 8 he has to be in by 10 on nights he is not sleeping out as he is a carer for his mother. All I wanted was one episode and he didn’t respond to me, kissed me and walked away, I said you can’t just walk away in the middle of a conversation and he came back, I then asked why he was leaving as he didn’t speak to me the whole time he was over and he said “my friend is waiting for me” and walked away as he was walking away he said “I love you” and I just admitted my defeat as I didn’t want his friend to wait in the rain. All I wanted was to spend some time alone with him which is a rare thing with us as we are both extremely social or we spend all of our time in the living room where my sister stays all day everyday.

When he came in I said I just wanted a day to myself today as I’ve had a rough week and he will be sleeping at my place tomorrow night. I’m really stressed and struggling mentally all of the time he just doesn’t understand that I need space, I’ve told him time and time again that he doesn’t have to come and see me everyday and we both need to spend time for ourselves. I’m very upset about this because I just want him to give me time to myself sometimes, I hate being alone but sometimes I find peace by myself.

I don’t know if this makes sense but I just want to be able to tell him that I need space without a potential conflict. We are both quite young but I feel like we are both old enough to be able to talk about emotions without having a problem between the both of us. I feel severely under appreciated and came looking for some advice. I’ve got a lot more things to say but I don’t know how to word it all, I have only recently been able to open up about my feelings and I have absolutely no idea what I am doing.

I recently became a mum, and one friend has apparently decided that having a baby means I’m now fair game for commentary.
She keeps making little digs about my body.
She’ll look at me and say things like, “You’re still carrying quite a bit of the baby weight, aren’t you?” or, “I forgot how much pregnancy changes your body. I’m so glad I got my figure back quickly.”
Then, completely unprompted, she’ll tell me how much free time she has.
“I went to the gym for two hours this morning, then got my nails done and had lunch with the girls.”
Followed by, “I honestly don’t know how you have no time for anything.”
Or she’ll complain that she’s “so bored” because she has an entire afternoon to herself, while I’m trying to shower before the baby starts crying.
The other day I mentioned that I hadn’t had much time to exercise since giving birth.
She looked me up and down and said, “Well, you’ll have to make time eventually if you want to get your old body back.”
Then proceeded to tell me about her three hour Pilates class.
I’ve never asked her how she maintains her body. I’ve never commented on hers. I’ve never compared our lives.
But somehow every conversation has become an opportunity for her to remind me that she has her freedom, her free time and her pre baby body … and I apparently have none of those things.
I’m starting to wonder whether she actually thinks she’s being helpful, or whether she just enjoys feeling superior.
Because there’s a pretty big difference between saying, “I know motherhood is hard” and repeatedly reminding a new mum that you have more time, more freedom and apparently a better body than her.
At this point, I’m tempted to ask her if she wants a medal for having time to go to Pilates, or if she’s just going to keep using it as her personality. Am I being overly sensitive?

Am i being overly sensitive to feel uncomfortable about hearing my white and republican booses and coworkers joke and laugh about calling ICE on another Venezuelan coworker even if the victim is taking as a joke and laughing with them?

First of all, please don't misunderstand me. I want to share something that happened to me and understand how I should handle such situations.

I was sitting in my classroom, where we have five-person rows. I don't like sitting in the last or second-last row because I don't feel comfortable interacting with the teachers who generally sit there. However, my peers insisted that I move to the second-last row. I didn't want to move, so I said, "Main nahi jaa rahi, aur main kyun jaun?"

Two of my friends responded, "Tujhe kya ho gaya? Udhar hamesha toh yahi baithe hain na?" At that point, I got angry and questioned why I should have to move. Eventually, I shifted to the second-last row.

After that incident, one of my friends approached me and asked for some chips. I was still upset, so I replied, "Mera dimaag kharab hai, mujhse baat mat kar."

Later, I started feeling guilty about how I had reacted. But at the same time, I feel that my point was valid. The thing that bothers me is that people often make decisions according to their own comfort and convenience, but when I express my preferences or stand up for myself, they sometimes make me feel as though I'm being rude.

I don't know how to handle these situations. I often feel that people take advantage of my kindness, and when I finally stand up for myself, my frustration comes out as anger. Then, instead of feeling good about standing up for myself, I end up feeling guilty.

I want to learn how to express my opinions confidently, set boundaries, and stand up for myself without sounding rude or hurting anyone unnecessarily. How can I handle such people and situations in a calm, mature, and respectful way?

So, boyfriend (24M) and I (27F) have been living together for a few months now. Things have been good so far.

He called me today to give a heads up that some coworkers want to sleep over at our house for the night because they all need to be somewhere early tomorrow and our house is closer than theirs. (I'd be more specific, but I can't be.) I said sure though, that I have no issue with this.

They get here, I'm in the bedroom getting some stuff done. I've never met these men before, so I guess a part of me was expecting him to introduce me a little, especially with them being total strangers. And with how long I was in the bedroom getting stuff done without noticing they were here, it felt awkward to finally step out and try to introduce myself. But he never really did so. I tried to step out myself, see if he'd "Oh, [my name], this is [their names]." or something. But I don't know, everything felt so awkward, he said nothing about me, and I went back to the bedroom. It's kind of awful to feel so awkward and small in your own house. Am I being too sensitive about this?

My overthinking a**😭😭😭

I have this very good friend of mine...well I don't know if I can say it or not but it's a little complicated...he is little more than a friend I guess!🤧

So he is a very busy guy! A genuine busy person but certain discussion happened between us a few days ago , not a fight but yup the conversation was a little sad. And he is very very busy this month. My overthinking ass though he wants to break ties with me🤧🤧🤧. That's why he is ignoring me..

I wrote him a paragraph 🙂. Saying it's totally fine if you don't want this frndship anymore and all no grudges from my side and all😭😭😭.

He replied saying he is genuinely busy and has a lot on his plate.

Now I am feeling very sad and guilty to add to his stress.

I should have understood his side but😭😭😭😭.

What he must be thinking of me now🥲.

Sometimes I hate such pathetic behaviour of mine.

I just wanted to let it so i thought to rant here.... I hope you don't mind guys🤧😭.

I've been overweight most of my life. Was teased quite a bit in grade school. But for the most part that all ended with high-school and adulthood. I mostly picked on myself. And I've struggled with self esteem and confidence for awhile. My boyfriend is much more fit than I. And has a habit of picking on everything and everyone (my pets mostly) for being chubby. And if hes pissed at someone and they weigh more than him he's constantly bringing their weight into it, calling them "fat f*cks" ect. He'll pull at my fat rolls or poke them and giggle like a child (he's 34) and it makes me uncomfortable. I've asked him to stop several times. I've told him it hurts my feelings. I've even broken down and cried when he's done it. And it just keeps happening. He says that he loves me the way I am and everything. And he's never known me any other way. But why must he keep poking fun at me and bringing up my weight. He says he's just joking and I'm too sensitive. I seriously dont know what to do or so anymore to get him to stop. It really bothers me. Yes, I know I need to work on myself and losing weight for me blah blah blah. But that's not the issue at this moment. Its him and not respecting my issue with picking on me. Help. Am I being overly sensitive or do I have grounds to be upset.

For context, I found out about a conversation between my ex (28M) and his friend (40M) that went something like this:

Friend: Hey, are you still dating [my name]?
Ex: Yes I am, why?
Friend: Oh, I thought if you weren’t, I was gonna introduce you to this girl. *Sends a picture of her*.
Friend: She’s pretty and rich.
Ex: Nah, [My name] is already the best.
(I translated this from our native language, but the original has a more lighthearted tone, almost like he was casually brushing off his friend’s suggestion rather than firmly shutting it down.)
*They then proceeded to talk about her briefly.*

The thing is, it didn’t stop there. His friend kept bringing this girl up and trying to get my ex to date her MULTIPLE times, despite knowing that he was still in a relationship with me.

What bothered me the most was the fact that my ex could just let his friend disrespect our relationship like that. I understand that he can’t control what his friend says, but I feel like he could’ve at least told him to stop instead of just letting it slide every time.

So I broke up with him because I felt like he wasn’t respecting our relationship by allowing his friend to keep doing this.

And here’s the part that makes me overthink even more. After we’d been broken up for a while, I found out that my ex is now actually talking to that exact girl and trying to date her.

I know we’re no longer together, and he’s free to talk to whoever he wants. But I can’t help feeling hurt that it’s the same girl his friend kept trying to set him up with while we were dating.

Now I’m questioning whether I was right to feel disrespected in the first place, or if I made a bigger deal out of it than I should have.

I unfortunately have been jobless for almost over a year now, but I have been applying and getting interviewed throughout this year. I have been working my but off to get a job but haven't gotten Any Luck! I keep losing hope but try to keep at it. I've been using dozens of job searches/job boards, heck even emailing/contacting stores & whatnot to see if they're hiring.

Whenever someone asks me how it's going, I always have to say that I'm still jobless but I've been getting interviews & still being rejected/not picked/ghosted. But their answers are always: "are you looking and applying at this...what about this...?" & it always makes me feel like they're treating me like a child or like I'm not putting the effort or hard work into actually getting something. So instead of getting encouraged to apply more, I'm being discouraged cause it makes me feel like the amount of work I'm doing is never going to be enough...

All I'd like them to say to me is that: "You're doing your best. You must be working really hard on trying to get a job." Or something like that. Just been dealing with the Big Sad because I feel like nothing I do anymore is enough...Is this being too sensitive, or am I right to feel this way :(

(I'm not entirely sure where to put this, so I just decided to make a post on my own instead of adding it to a specific group.)

I (19) have two friends (22 and 23) who I've known for little over a year now.

It's obvious that I am closer to the one, who we'll call Charlotte, then I am to the other friend, who I'll call Mollie. Mollie is also closer to Charlotte due to the fact they've known each other longer.

I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks that Mollie has been pushing me to the side a lot. (Talking over me, being a little argumentative over things I've said, making things I've said about myself about her, or just overall ignoring me entirely.)

(It is important to note before I continue that this is on a Discord server, and Mollie is in a different time zone to Charlotte and I.)

I've been noticing this when Charlotte is also online, because they enjoy talking to each other since they are obviously closer to one another since they've known each other longer than either have known me. But I can't help but feel a little jealous, and it's making me feel bad as a person.

I don't know if it is jealousy, but that's the only way I can think of to describe it. I am rather attached to Charlotte, and are protective of her due to some stuff that's happened in the past. But I still have been trying to respect the relationship she shares with Mollie.

I've been suspecting for a while now that the two may be in a relationship, but I have not found it my place to ask- seeing as I believe if something is going on, they'll tell me when they're ready.

But as I've said, I feel Mollie is pushing me to the side when they are online and borderline ignoring me when I try to speak to Charlotte- downing me out with their own messages so Charlotte won't see mine.

I've also noticed that anytime I show them something, whether it is a cute top I found, or a vision board for myself about something or other, Mollie will reply with "Oh that's so me! Charlotte, don't you think that's so me?" Or something along those lines.

Now, I know I am younger than them and also haven't known either of them as long as they've known each other, but I still feel like I'm being pushed to the side and ignored due to Millie's influence.

I have also been recently going through some things that have mirrored what others- who we have dropped in the past- have gone through, and I am scared that Mollie will use this as an excuse to get Charlotte to drop me as well.

Now, I fully admit I haven't been the best mentally recently and that it has been affecting certain ways I interact with people, but I am trying very hard to work on it and have apologized several times in the past and present. But I still have that fear that Mollie will have them drop me.

Mollie seems to hold most of the power within our dynamic, always being the first to speak in private but then having someone else bring up the issue in public. (I usually am that person because I don't usually care what most think of me when it's helping the larger group overall).

I just don't know what to do. I want to bring it up, but I'm not sure if it's just me overthinking things and making something out of nothing. But I also don't want to bring it up due to the fact Mollie and Charlotte currently have a lot going on, and I don't want Charlotte thinking she needs to choose sides. Especially because I would not fault her for choosing Mollie, even if it would still hurt me in the long run.

Anyway, I suppose I'm asking for advice on what to do. Am I being too sensitive here? Or is this something I should genuinely look out for and bring up to them?

Like the title says, my boyfriend and I don’t have sex often at all. We’ve been together for 2 years and living together for 1. In the beginning, and before we lived together, we had sex every time he came over, I had my own place and he lived with family post military. That turn would be 3-4x/wk. even before we moved in together, we had sex 2-3x/wk. now, it’s maybe q4/q5 for almost a year. I voiced my concern about the fall off in our sex life and asked how we could fix it to maybe get it back to something similar to what it was before. I try to make advances, dress sexy, I’m in the gym 3-4 days a week. I’m working on my health and physique- I’m a plus sized pear shape. He says he loves my body and that he’s depressed or tired and that’s why we don’t have much sex. However, he spends much of his free time on his video games since he works from home. He isn’t getting treatment for his depression either and stays in the house most of the week, maybe leaving for a few hours with me on the weekend. I suggested just having make out sessions and leaving it there as a type of foreplay, but he’s rebuffed that. I I try, often, to make my own advances towards him, but 9/10 he rebuffs me. I suggest just cuddling and seeing where it goes-but no. I’ve gotten to the point where I asked if he was cheating because it seemed like he wasn’t interested in me. He says he isn’t always in the headspace to even think about sex. Is there anything else I could do? Am I not being understanding of where he’s at?

TLDR: boyfriend of two years doesn’t want to have sex as much as I do.

So I don’t even really know if anything is going to happen with the girl I’m seeing now but for I’m so worried sick I just want to put this out to vent

So 3 weeks before I even knew of the girl I’m seeing now I matched with a previous classmate of hers. From what I understand is that they are not close friends and doesn’t hangout and my date thinks the she is weird. However so I made it clear to that girl (her previous classmate) that I didn’t want anything serious and just wanted a fwb maybe or something like that. She agreed but if I’m honest I wasn’t super up to it and I canceled last minute when we were supposed to meet one time. However nothing happend and we stopped talking and doeaent have each other on snap anymore. However I found out that they went in the same class and am so worried sick that she will found out for some reason and be disgusted with me and doesn’t wanna see me anymore. If I had known I would meet the girl I’m seeing know I would never have messaged her previous classmate. It’s eating me alive please help me!

earlier today my friend left our class super quick, without saying goodbye or anything. Usually she walks with me but im assuming she didn't today because i was hanging out with my lover (she usually doesn't interact with me at all when im talking to them) later she posted a note on instagram (a lot of my close friends vent or leave messages there when they're upset) and she just put the "⚡" emoji... I'm not sure if this is because I did something and maybe she subtly hinting at something, or if im just overthinking it... Any take on this would be appreciated 🙏

So this happened to my friend 21F .Basically her boyfriend 21M has a girl best friend and it was his birthday recently.. she literally gifted him a sweater, perfume, letter and a polaroid of them hugging eo (taken before my bestfriend and he started dating). She is also kinda friends with the girl and she seems sweet most of them time but once in a while she pulls some shit like this.. when she and her bf fights over it he never seems to understand whats wrong about it .. please help as to what is to be done about this??? How to get back to the girl best friend ?? How to make the bf understand about how this is wrong??

Yesterday me (F18) and my gf (F18) got into an argument. We were at school in her car (her mom’s car that she borrows.. idk why I felt like I should specify that) and idek exactly what we were talking about but there was some sort of miscommunication and like I was asking her to tell me what I said because she thought I said something else and she just kept saying how she didn’t wanna argue. I told her that I wasn’t trying to argue and I just wanted to understand what she thought I said and then I started crying. Ik I sound dramatic but I was already having an off day and then this upset me so I started crying and then I got upset cause she sounded annoyed that I was crying. She sounded like she didn’t care and that it was a bother and then she told me to stop yelling even tho I was not yelling at all? I may have been talking loudly but not yelling so I called her overdramatic.. I know this was wrong and I regret saying it and I said it because of how upset I was but I don’t mean it and I apologized to her and said I don’t mean it. And then driver over to my car and said “get the fuck out of my car” (I don’t remember if she yelled it or not but it was loud and she sounded angry). When she drove over she accelerated super fast and she braked hard. I begged her to not make me get out of the car and I continued to apologize for what I said and she kept saying to get out of her car and I kept begging and apologizing. She then sped over into a parking spot and kept saying to get out and then she said she was gonna get out. I kept begging her to stay and she said she didn’t wanna talk and I said I wouldn’t talk I just wanted to not argue and I kept apologizing. Eventually she said “find let’s go home” or something and she started driving. The entirety of the way home and was speeding and braking hard. I told her to stop driving recklessly because it was scaring me but she continued (during the entire car ride I continued to tell her to stop driving recklessly) I kept trying to talk to her and she fully just wasn’t talking to me at all. When we made it to her neighborhood she was braking hard at stop signs and speeding down the road to get to her house. This was scaring me and also there was a woman walking down the road so I yelled stop. The minute I did that she stopped the car and yelled at me “get the fuck out of my car”. I started crying and she got out of the car so I thought she was leaving so I got out and tried to grab my school bag from the back seat but the doors locked. I look and she’s sitting in the drivers seat and she had locked all the doors to prevent me from getting in. I knocked at the window crying and she ignored me and began to look like she was about to drive off. I walked away crying and the woman that was in the road asked me if I needed help. I walked to her house and called her mom and told her what had happened. When I called her mom my phone was buzzing over and over again. I looked at what it was and it was a life 360 notification saying that it had detected a possible crash based on my phone movement. That’s how recklessly she was braking. Her mom basically forced her to come home and when she did I went into the garage crying and I told her that what she did was out of line. I don’t remember what else I said but she kept asking me “are you done?” Over and over Later on she started crying and her mom drive us back to school because she didn’t want her to drive. When we were at school, I could tell she was sad and she had tears in her eyes. I was still upset at her for what had happened but I held her hand because I didn’t want her to be sad. Later in the day I wanted to have a conversation about what happened. She never apologized to me for anything she did. She basically thinks that it was my fault because “I shouldn’t have been in the car”. She also basically admitted to driving recklessly because I was in the car and she knew it was scaring me and she wanted to do anything to get me out of the car. She said that if I did that to her she would understand but I know that’s not true at all and I would never do that to her. She kept telling me that I should’ve gotten out of the car. She was justifying her actions. Another thing, after I yelled stop and she stopped the car in the neighborhood I was holding onto her because I didn’t want her to go and she dug her finger into my hand. It felt like she was intending to hurt me so I’d let go. She doesn’t have nails so it didn’t hurt but that seems a little fucked up.. but also I’m the one that held onto her because I didn’t want her to go so maybe I deserved it? I think she believes her actions are okay because she was “defending” herself. I wasn’t attacking her. I simply just didn’t get out of the car. I feel like it’s my fault for not getting out the car and I feel like I deserve it.
I know I’m not innocent but at the same time she thinks her actions are okay.

This is a burner account because I don’t want my sister to see this and feel lesser. There’s a lot of context to this so I’ll do my best to not leave anything out. I live with my husband, (37), my son, and my youngest sister (21). My husband and I own the house and we don’t charge my youngest sister a dime. It’s a great deal because she has more living space than all of us because she has the entire basement. My husband and I cover her expenses as she is working full time and going to college (that we help her pay for.) our mom unfortunately passed away, and her foster mom and her don’t really get along. I have 4 other sisters and unfortunately we have fallen apart other than my youngest sister and I.

For her birthday this year, I dropped hundreds and hundreds of dollars, and weeks of planning to make her 21st special. This includes her hair, her makeup, the location, the food, the drinks, and weeks of calling the “right” bars, inviting everyone individually by text which meant getting their numbers (her request), her cake, which was VERY specific, and also playing bouncer for our sisters she didn’t want around but felt obligated inviting (she wanted me to pull them away from her friends when they “got weird”, and they did so I did everything to the BOOK. We had a huge fight after her birthday because she acted like I wasn’t even really there, even though I cleaned up everything after, including the mess left by her friends, because i felt bad leaving it for the workers. My husband also contributed to this but having our child, he couldn’t stay around a bunch of drunk 21 year olds with him, and I told him to just make sure the little was safe (most important). Anyways the fight was nasty. My husband had taken her aside to tell her that she needs to appreciate what I have done for her (I’m also chronically ill so I got pretty sick after all of this) and she cried and apologized, kind of.

SO fast forward to last month. My birthday is mid September. Early September she asks me what I want, I tell her I’m not sure because I’m feeling pretty down. Unfortunately a side effect of being a mom and chronic illness is that it’s kind of hard to make friends, and my family is a bit estranged, so I knew my 30th would be pretty lonely. I told her and my husband that I didn’t want a party or anything, but maybe something nice just us, as in the family. My birthday rolls around, and as usual, my husband goes to work, I take my son to school, and she goes to work. (I am a tattoo artist but I can only work around my son and husbands schedule, and had to work that evening.) I tattooed my sisters friends/coworkers that day as well.

I don’t hear much that day from anyone really, which I had expected. My husband gave me some money for online shopping as a gift, which was nice, so I did that and watched some TV until I had to get my son and then go to work. I get to work and while I’m finishing the tattoo my sister shows up to give me a Starbucks drink and a cake pop. I can’t really eat the cake pop and I had already gotten my free drink, which she knows because she works there, and I can’t drink too much caffeine without getting pretty sick. Anyway when she shows up, she’s in a bad mood, doesn’t really say much and even pulls some of her friends outside to talk to them before she just leaves. That was the extent of my birthday celebration.

Come to find out my husband had scheduled a spa day as a surprise for myself and my youngest sister (he had asked two other people but they were too busy) and I had to cancel it due to feeling sick(this was my birthday gift from him, my youngest sister, and even my eldest sister). (The chronic illness diagnosis is still pretty new so I’m still learning how to live again while the doctors and I try to manage it because we aren’t at that point yet) She ended up being upset about me cancelling, nothing crazy, just said I shouldn’t have done that.

So here’s where I am struggling, and I’m trying not to tear up as I write this. Even through being sick I try really hard to make her feel loved and appreciated. My husband and I really provide everything for her with no strings attached. It’s not even that I needed a gift, but maybe some loving words or even just spending a little time with me. I feel as if it’s now how I treat her is just an expectation. I don’t feel celebrated, I don’t feel loved, I feel like a source of shelter and income and nothing more, and when I try to talk about it it turns into me being the bad guy because she is stressed from school or work. Some days it really does feel like I’m becoming invisible in my own home, and I can’t seem to shake how unappreciated and unloved I feel. And I feel like maybe on my end it’s because I am feeling pretty alone in general and putting too much expectation on my sister. I have kind of always been the person who was ready to talk to people and go do fun things and this year has been so humbling and lonely because people don’t want to be around you when you never feel good. I really just don’t know what to do or if this is just life now, or how to deal with this immense sadness.

I’m a women lover and my girlfriend has a guy best friend and there like really good homies for years but she was super drunk and we were at a club and she started holding he’s hand and they have done this in the past and I tried not to get jealous but this time they were holding hands and she was leaning on he’s shoulder and I didn’t mind but I was upset and then they go down the stairs and I fell and they didn’t even notice and they keep doing this and we’re outside and she’s asking if I’m mad at her and I didn’t say anything and then she’s still holding he’s hand and leaning on he’s shoulder , I always thought this guy was gay but I’m not too sure

Would you feel jealous too ?

Okay, hear me out. I’m a 25F and I met this girl (a year older than me) in college, and we’ve had a really great friendship for five years now, everything’s been great! she has an excellent sense of humor, we have good conversations. My only problem is that it takes her (still) yeaaaaaaars to reply messages. Like, I’d send her a message at 8 a.m. and she’d reply at 7 p.m and then I’d reply 10 minutes later, and she’d get back to me at 11 a.m. the next day.

It was never a huge issue, I’d just tell myself, “She must be busy, but I wish she’d reply faster.” It’s not like it takes her more than 10 seconds to reply, but okay, I can put up with it. (Besides, I’m not the only one she’s this slow to reply to.)

Things started to get a little awkward when she started dating this guy (a pretty cool guy, btw, I have no problem with him), and when we were together, I noticed that whenever he texted her, she’d reply right away. For me, that was a bit of a bummer like ouch, okay, so you reply to him quickly but not to me? Oh well.

But the last straw was when she came to visit one day but needed to send some urgent emails, so I offered to go to the nearest store and pick up some snacks and drinks. She said yes, and I went. At the store, they didn’t have the things she’d asked for, so I texted her to see what else I could bring back, and, as expected, she didn’t reply. In the end, I bought something else and headed back.

When I got back to my apartment, I saw her still writing her emails, but at the same time, she was replying to memes her boyfriend was sending her. Like, she’d type a few words of her email, see a message popping out on her phone, immediately grab it, and reply right away.

That’s when it really hurt, because all this time I wanted to believe she wasn’t replying because she didn’t have her phone with her, was busy, or whatever. So...she just doesn’t care enough to respond me quickly :( ? because SHE COULD,, if she wanted to. But why not me?

Now, I don’t mean to say I want the same treatment as her boyfriend or anything like that, after all, I believe you have to prioritize your partner, but then again...I don’t know why this makes me feel so bad, and even insecure about myself.

Am I not worth as much? Am I not interesting enough for you to reply to me?

I’d like to know what you think.

I often feel like a black sheep in my friend group for a couple reasons but the main one is that I like American culture (USA) and its pop culture even though I live in Europe. This is kind of looked down on where I'm from because the people here are mostly traditional and don't associate themselves with any other culture besides their own.

That being said, I have a list of baby names (even though I doubt I will be having kids) and some aren't traditional in my country but I've always liked them because they seem unique to me.

I read them to my friends one time and they started trashing almost every single name but one of them stuck. Petunia..., now loking at it, it definitely wouldn't be my first pick if I were to have a baby girl but they thought it was really funny and still bring it up. I think it's a nice name and it sounds really cute but I guess it couldn't pass as a traditional name like the other ones on said list.

I'm not sure why but it really bothers me that they feel comfortable laughing at it. I rarely ever yuck someones yum and I try to understand peoples interests and ideas so I guess it's because I wouldn't do it to someone else that it isn't funny to me.

I do brush it off when it gets brought up and it upsets me for the rest of the day trying to understand why they would make me feel shame for sonething I like. Am I being too sensitive? Should I say something and how would I go about it?