TLDR below.
I asked my father if it was possible to substitute 1 of 4 meals in this Chinese dinner we get. So, we'd end up with two happy families instead of one. I ask because I exclusively eat from the happy family dish. (And mostly protein at that).
Since the happy family is quite popular at our table, being my sisters favorite as well, I'm too conservative with my overall food portion. Never a full tummy with Chinese food for me. While my family takes from nearly all 4 of the dishes, mostly evenly.
Related info; skip next 3 blocks to return to story
As a late dxed autist/adhd haver with people pleasing tendencies, I seldom communicate issues like this. It simply feels like nobody tries to listen or, take me seriously. In fact, it seems that the more logical and direct I am with a point, the less they will listen. Unless the issue affects them as well, it'd seem.
It doesn't help that my Dad can be a quietly stubborn, others ought to be like me, type-a guy. He seems to struggle seeing others perspectives, similar to myself. He is incredibly nice in all other respects. I believe it's a sorta "obsession with perfection" tendency gone too far, picked up young from traumas that he, validly, never speaks of. His dad was more than just harsh on him.
I've suspected some sort of high-functioning neurodiversity in him. But as he's in his 50s, has a successful career, and would've masked his whole life up to this point, it's very difficult to extrapolate anything. Let alone, bring up such an idea to his worldview, especially when it's already so hard to talk with him in a serious manner.
Anyway, when my question about Chinese food didn't sit right with him, I made my point.
I tell him I've never gotten full before when we have Chinese food. (true). He then claims there are always leftovers. I say yeah, there are leftovers of the other 3 dishes. He then claims there are leftovers of the happy family too (barely), and the conversation fizzles. About 10 seconds later, I realize the small amount of HF leftovers he's thinking of are quite literally due to:
1: My sister routinely fills her plate up after I have ate/washed mine. She's upset when I eat all the HF protein, leaving behind just veggies, since it's her fav too.
2: Leftovers-wise I feel guilty eating all remaining protein and leaving behind or, tossing, the veggies.
I knew if I tried explaining, he wouldn't listen, and would act like I'm ridiculous/ignore. Hence I stewed. He still seems to believe that I'm making a CHOICE with food, that I'm a spoiled picky eater, that I'm lying. At damn near 22 years old, his son who has been underweight and food avoidant forever. Whom has already explained to him in depth their eating disorder (ARFID) and food allergy (OAS).
TLDR: Asked my dad to accommodate for an eating disorder (ARFID), got completely brushed off. Which he should know I have by now, as I've explained it and my food allergy (OAS) in depth to him. He still doesn't seem to believe me when I say I'm allergic to lettuce for example, because he KEEPS offering lettuce to me, despite me saying I'm allergic over and over.