r/AITAH • u/ToooFastToooHard • 4h ago
AITAH for uninviting a couple from dinner
So our group of 3 (myself, wife, and another friend) had breakfast/brunch plans following a drop-off at school. In the parking lot we bumped into another family (husband/wife) that we are cordial with, but not super friendly. The husband of this other family recently had COVID like 2 1/2 weeks ago and still has a HORRENDOUS COUGH. Like the kind the takes your breath away. They mentioned, what are ya'll doing now? Any plans? It was awkward, and one of us kind of blurts out that we're getting brunch... I cringe... The family of coughers then "invites" themselves with a "can we join you?" This is such a bait ask, right, cause you kind of HAVE to say yes. So my wife sheepishly says ok.
We get in the car, and I'm like ""NO F-ING WAY" am I eating brunch with a lung'er... The 3rd wheel in our group then volunteers to uninvite them, by making some COVID anxiety story. This all goes down at the restaurant, sort of worked. The coughing party of 2 decides to sit at another table, we go our separate ways.
TLDR? If I didn't speak up in the car, we would have proceeded with all eating together, now my wife's says I'm the asshole for the situation.
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u/_oldhead 4h ago edited 4h ago
YTA Your wife is right.
Not because you have an issue with getting sick.
Not because you call this person a 'Lung'r' like you're a Cowboy in the wild West and they have TB
But because you're a coward and couldn't nut up and say something yourself. Ya know, the "3rd wheel"??
So, you stepped back and let someone else make up a lie for you because you're a wounded bird.
Grow up and grow a pair.
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u/SubstantialEmotion41 3h ago
His wife who said yes should be the person to say no. Why would she even agree in the first place?
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u/_oldhead 3h ago edited 3h ago
Wasn't his wife though. It was "the 3rd wheel" of their 'group'.
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u/SubstantialEmotion41 3h ago
"so my wife sheepishly says ok"
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u/_oldhead 3h ago
My mistake, I'll own that. I thought you meant his wife is the one who said no to the couple.
100% my misunderstanding and mistake.
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u/SubstantialEmotion41 2h ago
I think she should since she said yes in the first place. The friend was willing to be the bad guy and ask the couple not to come. Nice of them, but the wife should've owned their mistake. In my opinion. Have a great night!
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u/ToooFastToooHard 4h ago
True, but they volunteered!
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u/DnDttrpg 4h ago
Next time, grab your balls and just say no from the start
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u/_oldhead 3h ago
Seriously.
Give yer balls a tug!
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u/Glittering_knave 3h ago
YTA for thinking that you have to say to a visibly sick person joining you because they asked. Put on your big person pants, and learn to say "This is just for us, maybe next time" or something.
Just because someone asks doesn't mean you have to say yes.
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u/MrTash999 4h ago edited 3h ago
ESH, them for just inviting themselves along when clearly he was still sick, and you for not just saying no and avoiding the whole situation in the first place. Grow a back bone and learn to say no.
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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 3h ago
gonna be honest, yta because you waited until y'all got to the restaraunt, but overall I'm on your side. I hate people who invite themselves to things.
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u/MovieLazy6576 3h ago
YTA You should have spoken up like an adult and said no at the time instead of hiding behind someone else and making them the bad guy.
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u/fadingsunsetglow 4h ago
People inviting themselves places is awful.
Sick people going out and infecting everyone else is also awful.
Found the AH's, but its not you. But dont be afraid to speak up next time.
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u/ToooFastToooHard 4h ago
I do feel that they are not contagious anymore, but the combo of inviting yourself (which normally is kind of weird any way) plus cough? Like hello? I would never do that to somebody.
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u/vabirder 3h ago
NTA no one with a bad cough should join others for a meal. YTA for not speaking up immediately. “ Hey man, probably not this time with that cough. Maybe another time though. Oh, you say you are not contagious? Sorry but that’s still not a good idea at a shared meal. These days you can’t be too safe.”
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u/DnDttrpg 4h ago
Anyone with a cough is coughing up bacteria, so even if it's not covid they are coughing up something
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u/_oldhead 3h ago
Anyone with a cough is coughing up bacteria
That is, quite simply and scientifically, untrue.
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u/DnDttrpg 3h ago
It is 100% true, scientifically, logically, all of it.
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u/_oldhead 3h ago
Viral coughs do not produce bacteria externally nor do Dry coughs, you cucumber.
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u/DnDttrpg 2h ago
When you cough IN GENERAL you are coughing up your own bodies bacteria and any bacteria you may have breathed in.
Why do it think you need to conver your mouth? Same with sneezing.
Because whether you are actively sick or not, you are spreading germs which, incase you didn't know, include bacteria
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u/_oldhead 2h ago
Again, not every cough produces bacteria externally.
I'm done repeating myself.
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u/DnDttrpg 1h ago
Again, every time you cough you are coughing up your own bodies natural flora, which includes bacteria
I'm done repeating myself. So listen and learn
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3h ago
[deleted]
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u/_oldhead 3h ago
That's not at all what I said nor is it what the person I was responding to said.
Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit is it?
Douche
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u/PippiSpeaks 3h ago
NTA, but no, you did not have to say "yes". So many other things you could have said: 'Not today, but maybe in a few weeks.' 'Not today, we have some business to discuss.' 'Not today, I seem to catch every cold going around.'
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u/Realistic-Try7845 4h ago
NTA.
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u/Soggy_Boi_3233 3h ago
NTA for not wanting to eat for a sick person, TA for not just being a man and forcing someone else to uninvite someone when they could have just said no in the first place.
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u/Sn_Orpheus 3h ago
Hell no you're no AH. I would've just not gone. Invented something like car trouble or somethiing. Np f'ing way am I eating with someone who just got over covid. Actually, I'm not eating out right now anyway because we're in the middle of a huge surge.
You could've also said we're getting food to eat at the park. Still, you're no AH. You're keeping yourself and your family safe.
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u/BoltharRocks 3h ago
Yeah YTA. Covid long hauls can take months to years. Last time I got sick I was coughing for almost 2 months straight but I wasn't contagious for most of it.
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u/Additional-Aioli-545 3h ago
No you don't have to say yes. Use your words. You say, 'considering that cough, I'm not comfortable with that idea. Maybe another time?' If they push, you say, 'no sorry. Another time'.
NTA ... and Ms. ToooFastToooHard next time, zip it.