r/weddingshaming • u/AnonTurtle9500 • 26d ago
Discussion Let's hear the craziest stories you've got about wedding vows
Will be getting married next week and it made me think of instances where wedding vows were unhinged, started some chaos or really took guests by surprise. What are some crazy moments you all have experienced?
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u/rainbowcanibelle 25d ago
I officiated a surprise Halloween wedding (surprise to the guests, not to the bride and groom 🙃). They own a company selling fireworks and wanted some lit off during their kiss, which some of their other friends were in charge of.
One went rogue, so we all ended up having to run to the empty field that lit on fire, carrying water and trying to stomp it out (at least I was in sneakers and not heels).
It is one marriage that I can truly say started off with a bang 🤷♀️
*edit to add, only the bride, groom, and their kids knew it was happening. The bride, groom, and I did change into something more proper but the best man was dressed as a banana.
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u/Nightmare_Gerbil 25d ago
Was the best man the only one in costume? Or, were multiple people dressed as fruit running around a field trying to put out a wildfire with buckets of water? I’m trying to get an accurate mental picture of this solemn occasion. Was anyone wearing an inflatable T-rex costume? I need to know!
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u/OnMyHonestAccount 24d ago
Hahaha I read "bandana" the first time around I was picturing them all dressed for work anyway. Thank you for correcting my interpretation, the truth is more amusing lol
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u/Big-University-1132 25d ago
By the end of this comment, I had completely forgotten about the Halloween part, and yet I still went “oh a banana? That sounds right” 🤣 even out of context, the banana feels fitting for some reason
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u/Cool-Firefighter2254 25d ago
This does not bode well for any gender reveal parties they might have. I suggest they skip those.
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u/Ok_Surprise_8304 25d ago
This has to be one of the very few weddings where the best man was a banana. 🤣
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u/Wackel81 25d ago
Nothing can go wrong with a banana
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u/ChocolateCoveredGold 25d ago
Always take a banana to a party.
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u/Theunpolitical 25d ago
The Justice of the Peace kept saying the wrong name during my husband’s vows. Literally every stereotypical Hispanic name except my husband’s. It went something like this...
“Repeat after me... I, Juan, take thee...”
“Do you, Miguel...”
“I, Luis, vow to have and to hold...”
None of them are his name. At one point, I even commented under my breath, “Exactly who am I marrying?”
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u/mybigbywolf 25d ago
Juan, Miguel and Luis lol
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u/jeffleppard16 25d ago
My cousin called his bride his worst enemy in his vows. The marriage lasted a year
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u/Maleficent_Heron_691 25d ago
In all sseriousness or jokingly? That's so bizzare!
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u/jeffleppard16 25d ago
He was doing some sort of trying to yin to my yang type thing but my god that is not the way to phrase it.
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u/Maleficent_Heron_691 25d ago
That is insane! Yin to yang is about opposites attract not "love-hate" lol. I am trying to imagine the looks on everyone's faces as they processed this.
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u/zestymangococonut 25d ago
As in, “We have been through so much, you’re like my best friend and worst enemy?” I have heard that said before. Not for vows. Just people describing their relationship. See also: “we’ve been through hell and back” or “though the highs and the lows”.
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u/now_you_see 23d ago
Anytime I hear ‘we’ve been through hell and back’ I immediately wonder which of them cheated first.
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u/scattertheashes01 25d ago
Nothing too crazy but my cousin had her new husband’s sister officiate and she did the “mawwiage” bit from The Princess Bride because the husband looooved that movie as a kid. He has good movie taste ahaha.
And at another wedding I went to, the couple had been together for a very long time and had been going to the church they got married at for almost as long so you’d think the pastor would know their names by then, right? Well he kept calling the bride the wrong name (but super close to her real name, like say her name was actually Jenna and he kept calling her Jana during the ceremony) so the husband being the joker he is, says he’ll occasionally tease her and say she’s not the Jana he married 😂
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u/Big-University-1132 25d ago
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u/Cool-Firefighter2254 25d ago
At my uncle’s wedding the officiant actually sounded like this—not as a joke and not on purpose. That’s just how he talked. My family and I were in the second pew and we were crammed in there—the pew was probably big enough for four small people and we are five tall people. When the officiant hit the first mangled syllable I could FEEL everyone in our row stiffen. We all very carefully looked straight ahead. I had to bite the inside of my cheek and squeeze my eyes shut and think about much beloved pets dying to keep from laughing. It was PAINFUL. We were so happy when that ceremony was over and we could laugh out loud.
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u/stitcherfromnevada 25d ago
Uncle had a huge Catholic wedding mass when got married. The priest had an accent somewhere between Princess bride officiant and Arnold Schwarzenegger. My sister and I couldn’t look at each other in fear of dissolving into giggles.
I do remember after hearing his first sentence my sister whispered “mawwiage” and I jabbed her hard with an elbow. We were in our teens and I’m proud we held it together.
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u/MariposaPeligrosa00 23d ago
My (now) uncle in law, who is a minister married us, and knowing that we love this movie at one point said « and I mean it » to which my husband replied right away « anybody want a peanut? » we all laughed. Still laughing 24 years later ❤️
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u/huzza-huzza 25d ago
I asked my cousin who officiated my wedding, to say that "mawwiage" line! I loved it lol she was so embarrassed but she did it!
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u/FairyGodmothersUnion 25d ago
When my cousin married his sweet wife, the officiant asked her, “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Wife: I do.
Cousin: (in disbelief) You do?
Wife: I sure do!
We all laughed. It was a long and happy marriage. Miss you, cuz.
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u/Dragonoflime 25d ago
Ohhh I’ve been waiting to tell this one. Went to a friend’s sisters wedding. She’s a classy gal who loves classical music and he…has the personality of wallpaper paste so just went along with it 🤷♀️
Between sets of the vows she had this idea for the string quartet to play a classical love song while holding hands and gazing into each others eyes romantically…
Uhhhh…it was four minutes long. Have you ever tried to hold hands and eye contact with anyone for four whole minutes? In front of an audience no less? Guess who tapped out about 30 seconds in and stared at his shoes…the floor…the rafters.
They lasted a year and a half before he just left randomly one day. Weird dude.
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u/SerialSemicolon 25d ago
This sounds so uncomfortable oh my god. Pretty sure my fiance and I would just burst into laughter after 10 seconds.
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u/emacextrabrut80 22d ago
We struggled with our photographer asking us to do dramatic looks like that - the pictures turned out amazing, but what you don’t see is us trying not to laugh, drop inside jokes, cross our eyes, it was great lol
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u/Starbucks_Lover13 23d ago
I’m laughing so hard at this one. SO awkward like geez save that level of seduction for the honeymoon lol
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u/EatsPeanutButter 25d ago
My cousin started his vows with a SHOCKER — everyone audibly gasped — but it ended up being really sweet. 😅
“When I was growing up, my mother always told me: the woman you marry doesn’t have to be the most beautiful woman in the world —“
AUDIBLE GASP AROUND THE ROOM
“—…but you are. She said the woman I marry doesn’t have to be the smartest woman in the world. But you are…”
Etc. Down to the end, where his mother told him to marry someone for their good, kind heart, and he said she had that too. It was so sweet, and 30 years later they’re still together. I’ve never seen a bride smile as hard as she did for her entire wedding. They’re a beautiful couple! But I’ll never forget his vows because of how that first line sounded. 😂😂
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u/Peachie_Pear 24d ago
I thought you meant he threw up The Shocker hand sign at first lmao
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u/kegib 25d ago
Couple wrote their own vows and changed "as long as we both shall live" to "as long as we both shall love". Divorced within 2 years.
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u/Inevitableness 23d ago
My husband and I did something similar because I don't believe in marriage being something that should be ceased only when you die. 10 years strong so far.
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u/newtontonc 25d ago
Had a cousin who is very religious. I wasn't there to witness it, but apparently the vows involved his wife kneeling and vowing to have him lead the home and family, and some other "he's the head of the house, I'm here to serve". I think there was a lot of cringing. That being said, they seem very happy still almost 25 years later.
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u/Global-Somewhere6343 25d ago
Good for them, but yuk!
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u/AristidLindenmayer 24d ago
Coretta Scott King refused to say that she would “obey” her husband in her vows, even though that was super common phrasing at the time. MLK Jr. said yes ma’am and she’s based for that.
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u/tankieattacks 22d ago
Ya I had us take that word out of our vows, bc absofuckinglutely not! Don't remember what it got replaced with
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u/bachelorsinlurking 25d ago
I went to a wedding where the groom's vows were almost entirely about his new wife's breasts. I genuinely couldn't believe what I was hearing. Even the bride was cringing and he went on for almost five full minutes. Marriage lasted 8 months and no one was surprised.
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u/Big-University-1132 25d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/gSeLiXkIR9Gf1PIbKv
Yeah no you win. I have no words12
u/Struggle_Usual 25d ago
Was that 8 months til the divorce was finalized? Cause I could see a one day marriage because the bride was really drunk and made a bad choice and they couldn't get away with anullment, followed by a required 6 month separation, 6 days to find a lawyer and file papers, and 1 month, three weeks til the hearing and paperwork being finalized?
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u/bachelorsinlurking 25d ago
Eight months until the divorce started. Poor girl really tried to make it work.
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25d ago edited 25d ago
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u/Big-University-1132 25d ago
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u/Bank_More 24d ago
I don’t really understand ‘ musical broadway’ - and what it has to do with not partying .
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u/Ok_Broccoli_9426 25d ago
A relative-in-law had the officiant (his friend) ask his bride (my relative) to vow to clean the pool while he was away.
She laughed about it, but...I have no words.
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u/moxie422 24d ago
Went to the wedding of one of my husband's very numerous cousins. Young couple around 20 yrs old, and they had a baby that was about 6 mths old at the time of the wedding.
The pastor for whatever reason, felt the need to ask the couple if they would choose the life of their infant son over the grooms 90+ yr old Grandmother who was sitting in the front row!?
Gasps were heard throughout the church, the couple was stunned into silence. It was incredibly awkward, until Grandma said - "it's okay honey, I'm old!" 😅 She saved the ceremony.
The marriage lasted maybe 3 years and 2 more children born in rapid succession. Grandma lasted longer than the marriage.
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u/TenebrousSunshine 25d ago
One wedding I went to, things were going sweet, but then during the groom’s he added “except for during a zombie apocalypse, where it’s every person for themselves. Sorry babe!” I know I visibly cringed 😬
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u/Fluffy-kitten28 25d ago
Man. In my vows I said I trusted my partner to be with me through anything, including a zombie apocalypse.
And after being married through family deaths, airports losing luggage, covid, job loses/gains, home repairs and more, I stand by my statement. I would hate to go through a zombie apocalypse, but with my partner I would have a fighting chance.
Unless we’re patient zero and one. But that doesn’t count.
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u/potpurriround 25d ago
My partner has had strict instructions that I do not want to live in or through a zombie apocalypse.
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u/Peachie_Pear 24d ago
Me and my partner share the opposite sentiment about a zombie apocalypse. "I have no interest living through any of that. My plan is to turn off the news and go kms." Which I appreciate haha.
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u/Mrs_Sam_Squanch 24d ago
Same here. We've supported each other through all sorts of hell, and survived it all by standing together. The zombie apocalypse would be just another thing for us to work together to survive. That's what marriage is, in my opinion.
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u/Irisorchid07 25d ago
I cannot remember verbatim My EX-husband's vows to me but I know the gist was how dedicated he was to keeping his physical health in top shape. To always be physically strong etc. His vows were a promise to himself not to me. I should have seen the red flag.
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u/indil47 24d ago
Please say he’s let himself go since the divorce!
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u/Irisorchid07 24d ago
I honestly couldn't tell you. As soon as I was able I blocked him on everything and refused to entertain any of his attempts at contact. My revenge was celebrating 10 years of being happyily married to the love of my life this year.
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u/International_Way258 25d ago edited 25d ago
At a cousin's wedding, the officiant was a married Catholic priest (apparently there's a movement?), and he several spent minutes of the service talking about the importance of letting priests get married. Which obviously they were fine with, but it was a weird place to put his soapbox.
Edit for missing word
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u/Sawfish1212 24d ago
If the convert from orthodox or a few other recognized churches with priests who can marry, they get a pass from the pope
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u/Dimac99 23d ago
I know in England a few Anglican priests spat their dummies out and converted to Catholicism when the Church of England started allowing women priests, and again later when they started allowing women bishops. The married blokes were allowed to stay married, although why any woman would want to stick with such a misogynist, I do not know.
I'm not honestly sure how it works though because A) they are supposed to refrain from sex for X amount of time before handling the Eucharist (which basically means before celebrating any Mass) but B) which is more practical, how are they supposed to support a family? Because priests don't really get paid. At least not in the usual sense. Quite often they get money from their families for holidays and the like.
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u/itsamereddito 25d ago
Relative raised culturally Catholic married a rural Christian farm girl and the pastor who officiated spoke at length about inviting Jesus into the marital bed. Her vows talked about loving him almost as much as she loves Jesus.
The rest of us refer to it as the thrupple wedding.
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u/HeadlinePickle 24d ago
I went to a wedding earlier this year where the MOB reading was about how Jesus should always be a part of your marriage and included in all decisions and daily life. I held it together until the bit about consulting him on big purchases, then I had to get very interested in my bag so I could hide the giggles. I mean it's been a long time since I've been to church, and I'm not religious, but I don't think the son of god has an opinion on dishwashers, although I love the idea of him being like "oh it's whisper quiet? Definitely that one, totally worth the extra 75 quid!" The rest of the wedding was secular and I don't think the bride is actually that into church anymore so it really stuck out!
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u/wheres_mayramaines 24d ago
My cousin did the same. Her husband's vows were about their life, and how much he loved her. Hers were about Jesus and how much she loves the Lord.
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u/AnonTurtle9500 25d ago
Is that what they meant when they said "keep Jesus Christ at the center of your marriage"?
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u/Clear-Weather-6060 25d ago
Not during the vows, but straight after the bride got up on a stage and sang a capella “I will love you for a thousand years”. She was off key and everyone died a thousand deaths watching her. I recorded this horror on my phone and when some of my friends are feeling down, I play it for them. It never fails to cheer everyone up. Marriage lasted 3 years. She only loved him for 3 years.
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u/jijisdeliveryserv 25d ago
My friend accidentally said “to have and to be owned” when she meant “to have and to hold” lololol
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u/sparksgirl1223 25d ago
Technically mine weren't unhinged....but.....
I found some non religious vows on the internet for my brother the internet ordained minister to read for us.
However...i did not read them as closely as I thought because when he said the line "do you promise to be my partner in crime" I stopped him, giggling, thinking he was adding lines.
There's a photo of him pointing it out to me and me doubled over laughing😂
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u/CelticSpoonie 25d ago
Those are the moments I absolutely adore. Yeah, so you didn't plan for it, but looking back gives you a good laugh. We have a few of those moments from our wedding.
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u/Fluffy-kitten28 25d ago
Well the couple that commits crimes together, stays together.
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u/Rustygurl 25d ago
Not super crazy but my brother was super nervous (hates public speaking of any kind) and mistakenly said 'my awfully wedded wife'. Thankfully, my SIL thought it was hilarious
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u/ironicallygeneral 25d ago
That reminds me of the guy who said "waffely wedded" and the bride just dissolved into laughter and had to take a moment before the ceremony could continue.
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u/Big-University-1132 25d ago
I remember when that moment went viral and it’s still one of my favorite things ever 🤣
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u/bluehotcheeto 25d ago
Wait I actually did this to my sister and her husband😭😭. Genuinely thought it was awfully. To be fair, I was ordained the same day they got married; in the same 10 hour stretch my sister decided she was going to marry him (very low key, just us three at garden of the gods). I wrote it out. Then said it out loud and did not realize it was incorrect until they burst out laughing. Sometimes my brain doesn’t work. We laugh about it to this day.
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u/Irisheyes1971 25d ago
You mean the bride who chose this person as her maid of honor, and fights with all these different people? Somehow, I’m guessing she’s not any better than them.
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u/Nafecruss 25d ago
Went to a very fancy Catholic Mass wedding years ago. Priest is giving the vows and I hear “blah blah blah”. I look at my wife and ask if she heard it. She did. Got to the reception, asked at the table if they heard it, they did. No reaction from the wedding party at the time but holy crap! Pun intended.
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u/Orumpled 25d ago
We had our minister surprise us during the ceremony and made my husband vow to give me presents. He was kinda ticked right after as he thought I planned it, but I did not and he was there for every meeting anyway. 25 years soon and yes, he does get me presents.
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u/punkwalrus 25d ago
My sister and her ex got married at some church that was incredibly structured, and slightly cultish. She and her ex had written vows, everything went fine at the rehearsal, but the actual wedding, the minister changed EVERYTHING and went off the rails about how the woman serves man, man rules the house, woman must scape and bow, etc. Just so cringe.
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u/CAShark-7 24d ago
My late husband and I wrote our own vows, and we had a lot of fun with them. Just a sample of what he promised me:
Do you promise to obey the laws of relativity and gravity and to never cross the streams? Do you promise to protect her from rampaging elephants and marauding zombies, and strive to love, honor, and stand beside her, and rub her feet? Will you be her partner:
in times of celebration and in sadness
in times of health and in sickness
in times of alien invasion and in warp drive capability
in times of joy and in conflict
in Pacific time and in Central time
in times of a premium and a basic cable package
in times of new hardcovers and in used paperbacks
in times of kitty purrings and in cleaning up cat hair
in times of wealth and in poverty
in times of the original series, the next generation, and the reboot
forsaking all others, and striving always to clean up after yourself?
After our wedding, the officiant asked if she could save a copy of our vows, since people were always asking her for suggestions on what they could say. Of course we said "Yes".
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u/ZealousidealPay608 25d ago
At a wedding I attended 20+ years ago, a line in the groom's vows was 'I feel your great power'. My spouse and I still reference it when I'm getting spicy.
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u/Actual-Existential 25d ago
At first read "when we're getting spicy" and I was kinda into it but YOU being spicy is a different context 🤣
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u/DonaldDouchebag 25d ago
Went to a hippie wedding in a state park. The bride reached down repeatedly to bring the “energy” from the ground to the sky. In her vows she thanked “the worms beneath our feet.” Later she and some other goofs did a circle dance thanking the eagles that were circling overhead. (They were turkey vultures.)
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u/MagpieMoon 24d ago
Aww this one sounds cute! Thanks, worms!
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u/DonaldDouchebag 24d ago
She did not mention the groom in her vows but sure did thank the worms and a host of other creatures. I loved the weirdness of it.
The couple later divorced after she developed a “spiritual connection” with another guy.
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u/EvanRamsey 25d ago
I hadn’t seen or talked to the bride in years (families grew up next door to each other so our parents still talked and we each invited the whole family to our own weddings). I didn’t know she had joined a conservative church so when the pastor said “Andrew, you are the leader of your household and Laura, you will submit yourself to your husband,” I about choked on my own spit. They got divorced after a bit and she is now happily married to her wife.
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u/aduffy7 25d ago
My cousin got married in Sonoma. Left his tux in San Francisco and made the best man drive back 3 hours round trip to get it last minute.
Bride had the audacity in the vows to say, “I love how you triple check everything at all times”. Everyone at the wedding saw through their bullshit.
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u/Puzzled_Air_5821 25d ago
Read the entire declaration of independence
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u/Peachie_Pear 24d ago
Isn't getting married technically making a declaration of dependence?
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u/DevilsAdvoCaticorn 25d ago
How long did that take?? And what in the world was the context?
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u/Puzzled_Air_5821 24d ago
It took a very long time. It was also printed out on scroll. It was a surprise to the bride. At one point she said "what is happening?" And the officiant said "just relax and enjoy the process" the person next to me muttered "what am I watching?" She's on reddit so I don't want to give any more identifying info. I think she loved it, ultimately, but it was very unconventional. Not wedding "shaming," really... More like, wedding story time
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u/althawk8357 23d ago
She's on reddit so I don't want to give any more identifying info.
Yeah, you could be talking about any bride who had the Declaration of Independence read aloud to her as part of the wedding vows.
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u/Dessert_Cat 24d ago
I went to a Christian wedding where the bride was pregnant, and the pastor talked about the importance of saving yourself for marriage. Very awkward
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u/TacoInWaiting 24d ago
Early 1970's, my uncle getting married. Full Catholic hoo-haw, mass and all combined with a foot-washin', snake handlin' Baptist ceremony (groom Catholic, bride Baptist) and resulting in a approximately 6 hour wedding.
Main highlight was we finally get to the homily. Priest says his piece. The the preacher gets up (they apparently had come to some sort of split-time agreement), who starts going into his with many, many mentions of, "the Whore of Babylon". That led to a priestly rebuttal about the True Church, which led to a Baptist rebuttal, and so on. I was waiting for fists to start flying.
I was 12 and had already decided I was an atheist, so I had no dog in this fight, but I do remember really, REALLY wanting to go to the bathroom.
Marriage lasted 6 years and 1 kid worth.
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u/Leading_Kale_81 24d ago
My own wedding was the worst. We both stressed over the vows so much we got a mental block and just couldn't write anything. We settled for this gem that came across one of our Facebook pages one day. I'm not sure what the hell we were thinking...
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u/bbsitdonight 24d ago
Just make sure you’re looking at EACH OTHER when you say your vows! My husband was so nervous and he was afraid he was going to mess up. He ended up staring at our officiant (my older brother!) while he repeated his vows because he didn’t want to get them wrong 😂 it looked like he was marrying my brother instead of me.
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u/justshanna 24d ago
At my friend's wedding, instead of answering "I do," the groom said, "I guess so."
It was so cringe.
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u/ArchivesGal 23d ago
Went to a wedding a couple of years ago where the groom waxed poetic about how his life didn't have meaning until he met the bride... while his 12-year-old daughter was sitting in the front row.
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u/WhiteAssDaddy 23d ago
Not that crazy, definitely unique, but my little brother and his wife just got married and their unity ceremony was them putting together the two halves of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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u/Critical_Classic_921 25d ago
There was video of some dude saying “never let a man leave the house with his stomach empty or his balls full” - which isn’t even clever it’s just a used up internet joke.
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u/WildsFan47 23d ago
In my country, the wedding vows of a influencer went viral a few weeks ago, he thought it was great to open the vows with "it was supposed to be only a f*ck, but look where we are now" followed up with "when I first met you, I told I loved you, but don't go thinking you are special, I used to say that to a lot of people" and "I realized I really cared for you when you were throwing up at the club and I was holding your hair" and "I like you dont like to go out to fancy restaurants. You like to eat that "rotten" hot dogs with green mayo, the ones that give you diarrhea afterwards" 🤡 (in my country a 'rotten' hot dog is the cheap one with a lot of condiments you buy in food trucks late at night)
Imagine a super fancy wedding with the groom deciding this is the most romantic thing he could come up with to say to the bride.
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u/Chouxnicorn 25d ago
It’s sort of the opposite of unhinged but my husband promised in his vows to get rid of any spiders or bugs in our house so I wouldn’t have to. I thought that was sweet
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u/JayMac1915 25d ago
My niece’s husband promised that, and she, in turn, promised to play his board games with him sometimes
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u/Fluffy-kitten28 25d ago
Good man.
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u/Chouxnicorn 25d ago
He very much is. I can handle a lot, but spiders scare the heck out of me.
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u/wickedchicken83 24d ago
SO is deathly allergic to bee stings. I’m deathly afraid of spiders. Not vows but our pact is that I will always handle the stinging insects and he will handle the spiders. It’s perfect!
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u/Chouxnicorn 24d ago
He thinks it’s cute because I love gardening and being outside but spiders make me shriek
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u/LoadTrue3662 24d ago
my BIL married his gf of ten years in March of this year and she has a identical twin who was her MOH .
In the maid of honor speech she was saying for the couple she mentioned how “dan ” (my BIL) felt like a boyfriend to both her and her sister for the past 7 years and then proceeded to call him her other boyfriend , while insinuating, they were all basically in a trouple ………..
everyone was freaked out on what she meant and then had to end the speech early from “being nervous” ! It was the most craziest thing I seen at a weeding
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u/IamtheRealDill 23d ago
All of our relatives still talk about how great our wedding was but I'm dying to know what they actually thought during the ceremony.
A family friend offered to do a reading but since we aren't religious I joked, "but what would they read? Dr Seuss??" So my usually very uncreative husband secretly wrote a Dr Seuss style poem about our relationship for them to read. It was AMAZING. I'm sure it was straight up insane for everybody else but that's not my problem.
Also, I tripped on my own dress walking up to the stage Jennifer Lawrence style.
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u/spacegh0st 25d ago edited 24d ago
At my step brother’s wedding he said something like he “never knew the meaning of family” until he met her. This was after unexpectedly moving into my mom and stepdads home as a teen where they bent over backwards to find space for him and he literally just stayed in his room everyday playing video games with the door closed. Rarely joined us for family meals or events when invited.
They also had one of those memorial tables at the wedding but didn’t include anybody from my stepdads side of the family. They had a messy separation not long after but I am still so icked out at the flagrant disregard of everything our parents did for him.
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u/littlecreamsoda79 25d ago
Catered a wedding once on the family's property where the Father walked his daughter up the aisle carrying a shotg*n. My boss and I were just standing there waiting to see where it was going. Thankfully it was all in good fun and everyone had a good laugh about it.
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u/Senior-Reality-25 23d ago
A wedding in rural Virginia decades ago. Just before the vows were presented the officiant? preacher? told the sweet story of how the couple got engaged. 'Guy took Girl home to meet his family for Christmas and they loved her! But then on Christmas morning Girl was so sad because there was no present for her underneath the family Christmas tree. And that was because Guy had already shot his wad on the sparkly little diamond ring in his pocket!'
Gasp of disbelief across the whole church. Preacher 'So do you Guy, take Girl....'
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u/rabbithole-xyz 24d ago
Two of my friends were getting married. She decided to make her own outfit. In bright blue satin. She's a rubbish seamstress and of course didn't finish it in time. Borrowed a white dress from her sister that was about four sizes too big. (Friend is 1cm too tall to have a blue badge.) Father was supposed to supply the bouquet, got a giant spray of orchids instead. Was then banned for being too drunk. Mum also missed the whole thing, fell asleep in the bath. His parents didn't approve so weren't there. So it was bride and groom, his gran and aunt, her brother and sister, and my bf and I as witnesses. Dry cheese sandwiches after.
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u/victorywulf 24d ago
outdoor wedding in December. guests were freezing their buns off. groom’s vow included reminiscing about how his bride-to-be said he looked like her brother, and how she farted a lot.
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u/tyrannosaurusme 22d ago edited 22d ago
Not crazy but giggle inducing:
My cousin was not very religious, but his mother was, so like a Nice Jewish Boy he included the traditional Jewish vows, which are in Hebrew.
Now, Hebrew is a very gendered languages, so the language changes based on who is talking and who they are talking to. Their officiant did not know this, and had my cousin and his wife repeat the vows after her, so both my cousin and his wife ended up vowing as men to take the woman they were speaking to before Moses and Israel.
My cousin the groom didn't speak Hebrew so he didn't notice, but I caught his sister's eye and later she told me it was all she could do to keep it together.
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u/NNDerringer 23d ago
Attended a wedding where the groom stepped down from the altar, took a seat at the piano and played a song he'd written about them. It sounds kinda sweet, but it left the bride standing there, an audience of one holding a bouquet and smiling. And given this was roughly 1979 or so, the '70s aesthetic in men's formal wear prevailed, which is to say very wide lapels, enormous bow ties and ruffled shirts. He looked like a lounge singer, yes.
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u/JealousImportance388 24d ago edited 24d ago
When a cousin got married she accidentally said "I, Darragh take you Aoofe" as she had been whispering the vows to her husband. The church erupted. Years later he sister did the same thing as she was so paranoid about doing it. Needless to say the church started laughing especially those of us who had been at the sisters wedding. The priest however was not impressed 🤣🤣
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u/Bank_More 24d ago
So her name was not Aoife? Or his Darragh? And the sister used the wrong names too? Sorry but l am missing the point here….
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u/RelevantVisual9902 23d ago
- Officiant told the bride to always have a warm meal ready for her husband when he comes home
-another wedding officiant brought up the purple squares profile pic and GBV in South Africa and said it’s really hard to be a woman. I’m all for spreading awareness but that wasn’t the time
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u/Affectionate-Bath755 22d ago
I also asked the priest to take obey out of our vows. Sometimes hubby used to say you promised to obey and I would reminded him I didn't. I really miss him
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u/Vast_Fennel7146 25d ago
I said in my own vows that I can’t promise forever because forever is a toss up but I will promise to try and to love every day to the best of my ability. My husband said much the same thing (very us, no one was surprised, basically everyone told us they loved our vows.) HOWEVER this “can’t promise forever” thing apparently offended his mom so much that she brought it up more than a year later, saying she was “worried [my] vows were insincere” and tried to turn my husband against me because of this (not a new thing.) Shaming myself from her perspective I guess lol
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u/Ambitious_Age2189 25d ago
Cousin (18F) married her baby daddy (22M) and he talked about his ex girlfriend A LOT in his vows.