r/weddingplanning • u/SnooPuppers5368 • 17h ago
Everything Else Planning a reception, no ceremony - help?
Basically, we just want a big party to celebrate us getting married but we want the actually getting married part to be just us. I will still be in a wedding dress and he will still be in a suit and I’m hoping guests will arrive dressed appropriately as the event will be in a cute little venue but as far as things like save the dates, do I even need them?
I was thinking of just sending out invites when the time came but I didn’t want people confused as to what they’re walking into or expecting a ceremony when really it’s more of a party? I was thinking of the invites saying something like “Join us for our wedding celebration” and include a details card but I’m not sure if that will be confusing
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u/wickedkittylitter 15h ago
There are plenty of reception only invitations available on-line for you to look at to find language you could use. As for the save the dates, just phrase it as saving the date for a wedding reception.
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u/Whirleee 15h ago
We sent save the dates via email.
We informally told friends and family members that we were getting married privately the day before and the "wedding" would be a reception, to let gossip do its thing and pre-set expectations among guests.
Our invitation said something like "Name and Name are getting married! Join us to celebrate at our lunch reception at..." Dress code was dressy casual.
(Yes, online etiquette sticklers will note that this is not a "reception" because we aren't "receiving" guests after a ceremony. But it conveys the idea that this "wedding" event will only feature the "reception" part of a wedding, not the ceremony. I also avoided any formal mention of a "wedding" to avoid implying that anyone would actually wed at this event.)
We wore our wedding outfits (dress/suit) to the reception. We still did grand entrance, first dance, parent dance, speeches, cake cutting, and dancing. (We also had a receiving line, so it's technically a reception, right?)
Guests arrived as late as half an hour after the beginning of our cocktail hour at noon. I assume there would have been more effort to arrive on time if there was a ceremony and not just a party. I didn't care personally, but just be aware in case this is something that will bother you.
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u/Jackie_Bronassis 16h ago edited 15h ago
My ceremony/reception was similar to this. We sent Save the Dates.
We did do a (very) short ceremony, even though we were already legally married. My wife wanted to have her 'bride' moment and it definitely upped the 'this is serious' vibe to stand in front of everyone and read vows.
People will generally take it as seriously as you do. If you want people to dress a certain way, you'll have to state that on the invite. We didn't really have those expectations so we didn't list a dress code.
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u/SnooPuppers5368 16h ago
Did the save the dates link to a website? I was thinking maybe to go ahead and create a website but we aren’t asking for gifts and really the only info it would contain would be maybe the dress code so I wasn’t sure if it was really worth it
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u/Jackie_Bronassis 15h ago
The invites linked to a website, where folks could RSVP and provide food allergy info. I think we also provided a little bit of helpful info about the venue.
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u/pleasantlysurprised_ 16h ago
If your guests have busy schedules or will need to travel, a save the date is useful so they can plan ahead.
Personally I think it's more clear if you call it a wedding reception on the invite since "celebration" could still include a ceremony. You could say on the invite that you got married in a private ceremony already, and that this is the reception.