r/unitedkingdom • u/kwentongskyblue • 24d ago
... Trans woman comes under fire for walking into men's toilet to see what would happen
https://en.newsner.com/lgbt/trans-woman-comes-under-fire-for-walking-into-mens-toilet-to-see-what-would-happen/2.1k
u/Legitimate-Tip-2149 24d ago
This was the obvious result to anyone who doesn't form their opinion on trans people from Telepgraph articles and online memes.
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u/Pashizzle14 Devon 24d ago
The Telegraph and their ilk stoked the culture war flames on this one, and now the consequences have happened they can ragebait everyone again. Self sustaining economy
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u/fitzgoldy 24d ago
Walked in to weirdly record...then no one really give any reaction or cared.
People recording in toilets is bloody weird.
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u/Coupaholic_ 24d ago
I'm sure this'll get misunderstood...but I miss the days when no-one cared when idiots did idiotic things.
Now everything has to be picked apart and cross examined to death. It's exhausting.
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u/ForPortal Australia 24d ago
Surely filming people in a public toilet and uploading it to the internet is a crime?
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u/TrashPandaHobbit 24d ago
People also object to me using the women's toilets like they want me to.
I'd prefer to be in the men's toilets too, but you legally insist I use the women's. I'm just performing civil obedience.
It's like they forgot trans men exist when making these new rules.
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u/Internet-Dick-Joke 24d ago
Actually, the UK guidance explicitly bans you from the women's loos, too.
They didn't forget that trans men exist, in fact they went out of their way to acknowledge that fact, and did so by explicitly banning trans men from all gendered public facilities, both men's and women's.
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u/TrashPandaHobbit 24d ago
The law doesn't "explicitly" ban me from them. A private business could decide that I'm not welcome to use them, but until they ban me, I can use female toilets. So far, none have.
If I was to go into hospital the law states that if it's a single sex ward I must go onto the female one. And no objections could stop that.
It's a stupid transphobic law that protects no one.
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u/Odd_Anything_6670 24d ago
Yeah, absolutely nothing is "explicit" about this issue.
The fundamental problem here is that the supreme court has decided for some reason that "sex" should be defined by reference to information that noone (outside of a small number of public services) can legally obtain.
Private businesses are now expected to make determinations based on information they cannot possibly ever find out. Even asking people about their "biological sex" in most contexts (explicitly so in regards to toilet use, as it's an example given in the EHRC guidance) would be harassment on the basis of sex and/or gender transition.
So yeah, the idea that it explicitly "bans" anyone from being anywhere is honestly giving it too much credit. In the vast majority of cases there is no clear information or guidance and the only thing it really does is to create fear and uncertainty and to water down the equality act by creating situations where it's basically impossible to ever not be in breach of it. But let's not kid ourselves, that was the point.
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u/NonagoonInfinity 24d ago
noone (outside of a small number of public services)
No, literally nobody can with certainty. There is no one source that can be used to determine someone's recorded sex at birth in the UK, because it used to be that you could get your actual birth certificate changed. There's literally no sure fire way of telling someone's 'biological sex' by law.
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u/lerjj 24d ago
You still can get your birthday certificate changed fwiw. Used to be able to, too, but still can.
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u/NonagoonInfinity 24d ago
You can, but before it was changed with no record of your previous sex at all.
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u/Odd_Anything_6670 24d ago
You're right.
I was assuming that doctors would be able to figure it out from your medical records, but actually now I think about it it would just include the referral to a GIC, and since not everyone referred will go on to transition that still wouldn't indicate your assigned sex at birth.
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u/Boring_Intern_6394 23d ago
That’s disturbing if doctors actually aren’t able to identify a patients birth sex, as it means that they will not be able to direct them to relevant public health initiatives eg. Cervical smear or prostate exam
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u/jiujiuberry 24d ago
How does the guidance do this?
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u/NonagoonInfinity 24d ago
The guidance states that it can be proportional to disallow trans men from both women's and men's facilities.
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u/jiujiuberry 24d ago edited 24d ago
wow — these things have really been badly done. made a difficult, sensitive issue unbelievably bad (that really wasn’t an issue if it wasn’t for social media hysteria and bigotry)
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u/kaetror Scotland 24d ago
It's almost entirely aimed at trans men as well.
Men won't give a shit if a trans woman has to use the male toilet, it'll make them uncomfortable but it won't cause a riot.
A trans man using the women's though (because those are the only ones with sanitary bins for example) is going to cause uproar.
It is going to disproportionately affect one group of people, over others.
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u/elkstwit 24d ago
My understanding is that nobody is “legally insisting” anything here - it’s not a law but rather guidance and a (bodged) attempt to clarify the existing laws. Or am I wrong? (I’m genuinely asking here, not attempting some kind of gotcha).
If you want to use the men’s toilets because you’re a trans man then as far as I’m aware you’ve every right to continue unless a specific business or operator of a single sex space chooses to impose their own transphobic policy. Presumably most places just shrug their shoulders and carry on as they always did, i.e. men - trans or not - use the men’s toilets and vice versa.
I’m aware of the policy that the NHS has but I believe that policy also includes the recommendation of private spaces for trans people. Is that not what actually happens in practice? Not that it should have come to that in the first place but my point being that, from an outsider’s perspective at least, I don’t see how there’s ever likely to be a scenario where a trans man is forced to use a women’s toilet in a hospital. Has this happened to people?
You will obviously be more of an expert in this than me so please by all means correct my mistakes or any blind spots I’ve got. I can appreciate that there could be a grey area for a lot of trans people who haven’t had surgery or don’t ‘pass’ (I hope that’s not an offensive term, apologies if it is). I guess what I’m really wondering is why a trans man would use a women’s toilet when they could just use the men’s. Maybe your experience says otherwise but I doubt anyone would give it a second’s thought. Perhaps I’m naive and that actually happens all the time, but a trans man using the women’s toilets just strikes me as someone going out of their way to be uncomfortable in order to prove a point about how a court ruling technically now allows businesses to be transphobic.
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u/kaetror Scotland 24d ago
It's 'guidance', but with a very big asterisk of "you're up shit creek if you don't follow it".
The guidance is "this is the law, here's how to follow to correctly". It's not like guidance on making a roast dinner where you can do your own thing, it's follow or else.
Especially with the threat of transphobes (funded by the likes of JKR) utilising lawfare on anyone not doing exactly what they want.
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u/PracticeNo8733 24d ago
I've been in venues many times where women have used the gents' toilets due to queues, but they weren't making a lot of noise and being filmed by a camera-person so it wasn't that big a deal for anyone.
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u/pdirth 24d ago
Back in the 90's one of the venues I visited regularly had a bouncer visit the mens toilets because it was always full of women chatting away to the men while they were having a piss. No-one had an issue with them but 'venue policy' apparently.
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u/pineappleshampoo 24d ago
It’s the opposite at the gigs I go to, the audience is 95% male so to avoid people being stuck queuing for the gents they can come into the ladies toilets. Never seen anyone take issue with it.
Wonder if that’ll change with these new laws!
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u/lynx_and_nutmeg 24d ago
There's definitely a major double standard where women are sort of "allowed" to go to men's toilets and no one really bats an eye, even though there's an actual risk of glimpsing a penis at urinals, while men couldn't do the same, even though women's toilets only contain cubicles and at no point can you see anything you're not supposed to see.
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u/Combat_Orca 23d ago
Ive seen guys get pissed when women use the men’s loos and seen women get kicked out by a security guard for doing it. Your experience isnt universal.
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u/circleribbey 24d ago
I’m not sure going into the men’s bathroom to film videos of men using the bathroom is going to make the point she thinks it makes.
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u/NonagoonInfinity 24d ago
Multiple notable transphobes have come out and said the public should film trans people using the bathroom.
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u/TDSBurke 24d ago
Then they're idiots. This person is also an idiot. I'd have thought "don't film people in the bogs" was an easy enough rule to get a consensus on.
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u/Vivid--Syrup 24d ago
It happens to trans people and people who someone thinks might be trans all the time without comment
I was kinda starting to think it had somehow become legal at some point
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u/Ver_Void 24d ago
I do have to wonder why this is getting coverage and not say the woman detransitioning because it's too hard, the ones ignoring the guidance or not using public toilets out of fear of being outed, people who's mental health is a mess because of this all
Makes you think maybe the point is so that we can say "see look at these weirdos, of course they shouldn't be around our women"
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u/MyDadsGlassesCase Scotland 24d ago
My local pub has "Laddies" and "Lassies" which causes no end of confusion. It's a stupid piece of parochial twee but the only reaction when a woman walks into the guys toilets is "sorry love, wrong toilet". I've never seen anyone get angry about it, but then maybe that's because they're not waving cameras around
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u/tskir 24d ago
the only reaction when a woman walks into the guys toilets is "sorry love, wrong toilet"
TBH it's not even that. I've seen women use men's toilets many times, usually in pubs or at venues/events where men's were available but a huge queue for women's. I've never cared about that one bit (I'm a man), and never saw any of the other men present care in the slightest
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u/AnselaJonla Derbyshire 24d ago
I've never cared about that one bit (I'm a man), and never saw any of the other men present care in the slightest
Heck, I've had men encourage the women in the queue to just hop into the men's, usually by pointing out that it's empty in there. It's not usually empty when I exit the cubicle, but no one's ever raised a fuss about it because, well, the giant queue is usually a bit of a tip off as to why I'm in there.
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u/LeedsFan2442 24d ago
Yeah the issue has always been about men in womens bathrooms. Most men don't care.
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u/Ok-Camp-7285 24d ago
How does "Laddies" and "Lassies" cause no end of confusion?
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u/dobr_person Berkshire 24d ago
People who are a few drinks in seeing 'Laddies' and reading it as 'Ladies' I imagine.
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u/MyDadsGlassesCase Scotland 24d ago
Not even after a few drinks. It's quite a touristy pub so lots of non-Scots there. Can't see many of them expecting the men's to be called the Laddies
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u/antisarcastics Sussex 24d ago
if English isn't your first language I can see this being unclear and the last thing you need when you want to piss is a test on colloquialisms
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u/iwillfuckingbiteyou 24d ago
I worked in a pub that did this and it's amazing how many people read "Laddies" as "Ladies". For added confusion, the door marked "Laddies" featured a stick figure in a kilt so they'd see what they thought was a familiar word and what they thought was a familiar image and proceed accordingly.
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u/rainator Cambridgeshire 24d ago
To be fair, a lot of people are really bloody thick.
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u/SlightlyBored13 24d ago
People reading Laddies as Ladies.
Either because they're not paying attention, pissed, see it before Lassies and assume it's a spelling error, etc
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u/D3viantM1nd 24d ago
To be fair, the difference in the debate is often people that'd be blind to the SS.
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u/Internet-Dick-Joke 24d ago
"Laddies" is only one letter away from "Ladies" and people who have been drinking and/or are busting for a piss are likely to misread it, and might not even look at the other bathroom door if they think they've got the correct one first.
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u/therealtimwarren 24d ago edited 24d ago
The pub near me used to have a picture frame on each door of the men's and women's toilets. In the men's frame was a picture of some tropical fruit whilst in the women's frame there was nothing.
In small writing at the bottom there were captions.
Mangos
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u/AshaNyx 24d ago
Why? It's just set up to make things awkward for anyone. How am I supposed to know mangos are balls and not boobs, or a cute pun. The only decent one I've seen is buoys and gulls.
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u/WaltzFirm6336 24d ago
My mother gets very overwhelmed by air travel and has on multiple occasions gone into the men’s toilets at an airport. Not once has anything bad happened. And yes, otherwise she is totally all there and we do try and direct her to the right toilet. But it’s like she’s some kind of heat seeking missile that situation.
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u/Ver_Void 24d ago
https://tbsky.app/profile/bottles1936.bsky.social/post/3mvikwejjfy2h
I thought the same when I saw this from that sex matters lot
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u/InternetHomunculus 24d ago
No mention of how fucking weird it is to film in a public toilet? Surely that's illegal
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u/Vivid--Syrup 24d ago
The mold queen told her army of crazy followers to do exactly that..
You aren't trying to say that she would ask them to do something bad are you?
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u/InternetHomunculus 24d ago
What the fuck are you talking about?
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u/lerjj 24d ago
Here's a transphobic barrister arguing at length that women should be allowed to film other women they suspect of being trans in public toilets: https://tbsky.app/profile/bottles1936.bsky.social/post/3mvikwejjfy2h
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u/InternetHomunculus 24d ago
That's wrong too? Are you saying that its ok to harass random men in public toilets because of this pillock or something?
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u/lerjj 24d ago
Yes I agree I'm just explaining what the poster is talking about in answer to your question
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u/InternetHomunculus 24d ago
I still don't know what a mold queen is 😭
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u/kwentongskyblue 24d ago
They're referring to JK Rowling whose pic of her went viral due to mould behind her
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u/Vivid--Syrup 24d ago
Trans people and people that weirdos think could be trans have to deal with being recorded all the time with no real comment
Between that and the mold queen I was starting to think the law had somehow changed to make it ok
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u/InternetHomunculus 24d ago
First of all what the fuck is a "mold queen", and what does trans people being recorded have to do with my comment? Can you not tell that would also be a weird thing to do?
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u/LeedsFan2442 24d ago
What did she expect to happen? Them to immediately try to have sex with her?
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u/o_oli 24d ago
Can we just normalise mixed gender bathrooms in public? We can all have a private cubicle surely and share a sink if needed.
'Oh but its a safe space for women' - maybe but thats not really the purpose of a bathroom. If women need safe spaces lets make that a discussion aside from practicalities of a bathroom.
'Mens bathrooms are gross' - yeah I don't want to use a gross bathroom either, why should it be my problem alone? Plus, you know, its exaggerated.
Lets get rid of urinals, normalise floor to ceiling cubicles, and move on with our lives.
Although I will miss as a guy not having to queue for the bathroom at large events while the womens queues are 20 minutes long but we all have to make sacrifices..!
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u/stumac85 United Kingdom 24d ago
Why remove urinals? Put them in a separate room for those of us who just want to take a leak.
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u/AwTomorrow 24d ago
Yeah there’s a mixed gender toilet at my local cinema and the urinals are just in a room beyond the cubicles
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u/stumac85 United Kingdom 24d ago
Exactly, simple solution. I was in Brighton this weekend and there's a fair number of pubs with the same solution.
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u/ultraboomkin 24d ago
Yeah my local pub here in Manchester has “Cubicals” and “Urinals”, not men and women. It works just fine.
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u/MirkwoodWanderer1 24d ago
My uni had a great system of one gender neutral place with individual cubicles and ome room for urinals
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u/NonagoonInfinity 24d ago
We can all have a private cubicle surely and share a sink if needed.
Nope, the EHRC made that against the guidance. A mixed-sex toilet needs to be a fully enclosed room with its own sink or it doesn't count.
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u/TDSBurke 24d ago
Are you sure? I can't find anything in the EHRC code suggesting that that would be unlawful - there's one reference to "handbasins" in an example of an arrangement that would be lawful, but with no suggestion that mixed-sex handbasins outside of private cubicles would be unlawful.
I may have missed something, but it would be very difficult to reconcile that with this passage about changing rooms, for instance (from 13.127):
"Example: In the example in paragraph 13.125, the women who have requested women-only classes also ask for single-sex changing rooms. The gym is in a small, shared studio space which provides mixed changing facilities with private cubicles for changing. The cubicles have floor to ceiling lockable doors and there have been no complaints about inappropriate conduct in the changing rooms. The service provider determines that providing single-sex changing rooms is impractical because of space constraints and the disproportionate cost. Since the existing changing rooms enable users to change in privacy, the current arrangement is likely to be proportionate and lawful."
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u/Geojamlam Derbyshire 24d ago
'Oh but its a safe space for women'
Because any man going to harm a woman is going to be stopped by a sign saying they're not supposed to be in a particular room.
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u/feministgeek 24d ago
Well, no we can't have nice things like that because the freaky genital weirdos won't stop being freaky genital weirdos and have managed to capture the Supreme Court, EHRC and half of cabinet to peddle their freaky genital weirdo shit.
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u/kuddlesworth9419 24d ago
We don't have segregated toilets at homes so why do we in public?
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u/therealhairykrishna 24d ago
When I was a student we always used to get a ton of women using the mens loo's at club nights. The queue for the women's was always insane. Was never a big deal.
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u/WinHour4300 24d ago
Could have just asked me. Being an idiot I've accidentally walked into the men's toilets. Everyone was just a bit confused.
I suspect if it was the men's gym showers it would be a different reaction lol.
It seems to be more women who are concerned by men in the women's toilets, probably because of the highest risk of voyeurism etc.
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u/LegoNinja11 24d ago
Strangest experience I ever had was in an open plan men's changing room after a gym session with a mate - starkers after a shower. Swim lessons must have just finished so a mum marches in from the swim side and proceeds to get 5 year old son dried and changed in the middle of the two of us starkers and trying to figure out how we're supposed to finish getting dried without risking a record for indecent exposure.
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u/Chaosvex 24d ago
Women feel far more entitled to enter spaces that they shouldn't than the reverse.
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u/Alive_Ice7937 24d ago
It seems to be more women who are concerned by men in the women's toilets, probably because of the highest risk of voyeurism etc.
Apparently there's a lot of dedicated perverts out there willing to change their gender in order to create a slim chance to get a peek under the toiler stall door.
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u/sammi_8601 24d ago
Considering HRT will literally chemically castrate if your a trans woman (what they used on Alan turing for example is the same as I'm on, I'm happy about it, being as he was cis I imagine it was awful for the poor bloke) you'd have to be a really really dedicated and somewhat ineffective pervert to do so.
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u/AshaNyx 24d ago
Also why go through all that when if you really wanted to perv you just have to find a job as a cleaner/janitor.
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u/sammi_8601 23d ago
I mean I also just like men, so if I was a desperate perv the women's wouldn't make sense, although men don't really need perving on for me to see dick I get lots of pictures sent straight to my inbox on all social media (no I don't encourage It, except by existing I guess).
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u/jonny-p 24d ago
The risk of voyeurism seems to come mostly from these bigoted women transvestigating people.
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u/Dadavester 24d ago
In this case it was the trans person doing the filming in a toilet....
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u/jonny-p 24d ago
Yes I think she was trying to make some kind of point, something about the new guidance being unworkable in reality perhaps????
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u/Dadavester 24d ago
Yet no one cared, they were just uncomfortable being on film..
The lass is a pornstar. This has been done to drive clicks to her content, nothing more.
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u/External-Piccolo-626 24d ago
We used to have toilets for this - they were called unisex.
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u/TheMusicArchivist 24d ago
Correct me if I'm confused but isn't this the legal requirement now - isn't she required to go to the men's toilet?
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u/PetersMapProject 23d ago
That's the problem. She's required to go to the men's toilet, and gets hassle for following the law.
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u/Meanwhile-in-Paris Dorset 24d ago
Under fire, really? From who, instagrams commenters?
That’s not fire, that idiots reacting at a deliberate bait and forgetting about it 2 scrolls later.
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u/Moistkeano 24d ago
I said this in the original thread months ago and it has come true.
Someone in my family is transmale, is 6'2, built, bald and beard covered in tattoos and piercings. They used the female loo at a hospital and they had security waiting for them.
If they were to use a public loo somewhere else they may have the police called on them.
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u/hannahranga 23d ago
they may have the police called on them
Which is absolutely cooked for a variety of reasons the largest one being that unless there's additional behaviour (or allegations there of more correctly) it's not actually a crime to be in the "wrong" bathroom. The recent court cases and guidance are obligations on what single sex spaces organisations have to provide.
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u/0_f2 New Forest 23d ago
People seem thrown for a loop when I point this out.
There's no new law or legal penalty for trans people like myself choosing to carry on as normal, it's all on the service or organisation providing the space, but they also have no mechanism for enforcement that doesn't expose them to risk of legal action for discrimination.
It's don't ask, don't tell.
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u/He_is_Spartacus 24d ago
There is something so exhausting about having your everyday life turned into a public discussion by people who will never understand what it feels like to have strangers debating where you should be allowed to exist
This is basically the crux of the entire argument, and it's crazy (yet sadly unsurprising) that it's been used as a Big Ticket item in the eternal Culture Wars
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u/SamVimesBootTheory 23d ago
Yeah I feel this from a slightly different angle being a neurodivergent person claiming disability benefits right now. It's not a fun thing to experience.
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u/Rebelius 24d ago
The rule should be, if you pass, just go wherever you want.
If you don’t...
What if you are a cis woman who doesn't "pass" according to certain people's standards?
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u/JudasIsAGrass 24d ago
If you don’t, reflect on whether your comfort is going to make others uncomfortable. The other side should also do this.
There's something very disgusting about this line to me.
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u/jonny-p 24d ago
The rule should be as long as someone isn’t behaving antisocially or committing a crime you should mind your damn business, have a shite, wash your hands and leave.
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u/Vivid--Syrup 24d ago
No solution is perfect?
The old one that we had for decades seemed to work pretty great until the right wing noticed trans people existing and started seething and frothing at the mouth
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u/sammi_8601 24d ago
Passing is subjective, I pass to lots of people (like genuinely mystified/ disgusted when I say I'm trans usually blokes trying to chat me up), others think it's blatantly obvious I'm trans. And I know quite a few trans people who are similar. I can understand when your early on and it's obvious, but later on when in some cases due to genetics (being tall and broad for girls or short and fat arse for trans men etc) it's difficult. Along with frankly I wouldn't want to use the men's for my whole life due to being tall essentially, and I know cis women a similar size who get grief for it too
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u/Loreki 24d ago
That's what she's supposed to do now though, rights? That's what the supreme court thinks is easiest and most normal. Apparently.
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u/turtleship_2006 England 24d ago
No part of the law says she needs to be filming and making Tiktoks in there.
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u/Informal_Work_9261 24d ago
Fucking ridiculous we've opened this whole can of worms because we're apparently beholden to the opinions of a twitter addicted bigot who wrote some mediocre books for children and stunted adults two decades ago.
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u/hime-633 24d ago
Yes, contextless and unrepeatable tiktoks or whatever are definitely the best way to resolve an issue that involving conflicting rights and beliefs.
Brilliant stuff.
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u/ash_ninetyone 24d ago
"Trans woman comes under fire for following the law"
If the law tells her to go in there what do you fucking expect. Everyone who critique bathroom laws as transphobic saw this fucking coming a mile off
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u/Puzzled-Barnacle-200 24d ago
She was filming. You cannot film in bathrooms. Filming in bathrooms makes you a sex pest who shouldn't be in any public bathrooms.
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u/neilm-cfc 24d ago
They were in the right toilet, they just shouldn't have been filming while in there.
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u/litivy 24d ago
Good for her highlighting how stupid fascist bigots are. I don't expect any self-reflection or growth from fascist though. That would go against their nature. The stupidity and cruelty will continue.
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u/Dadavester 24d ago
A porn star films inside a public toilets and releases the footage to create outrage.
And you have fallen for it completely.
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