I am 25, a t-girl and am probably demisexual. Idk because it could mainly be dysphoria, but maby not. I began HRT on July 25, 2024. Since then, every alteration on my body was amazing. I actually like the reduced sex drive, and it was no problem for quite some time. I am in a relationship and sex for me was always more focused on my gf (cis, 25 yo). There is no problem with that, and I enjoy participating in her fun. But because of my bottom dysphoria she can't touch me down there, therefore I always did that myself. That somehow felt okay.
Personally, I am not a fan of a steel rod, and I prefer my thing to be smooth and soft. Doing it otherwise is a bit painful, not very comfortable and I only did it in the past with myself, because I didn't know there were other ways. So, for a while I could do humping, petting (always with underpants on) and touching myself. That doesn't work anymore and even for masturbation it's tricky. Now I barely feel something before I come and then Im finished and can't come again or need time to do it again. The problem is I don't like having cum anywhere, because it's disgusting to me (only my own one). Therefore, I close the foreskin with two or three fingers and then release myself in the toilet.
This effort of course is a turnoff to me and after that I only try to come again If im really, really horny. Because of that I tried out new things. I used a vibrator on my crotch, touched my nipples and even got into prostate stimulation. Still, I can't cum without touching my thing and when I do its allways little to no sensation until I feel something, and then it's over in 2-3 Minutes. And it's not very rewarding.
Touching my nipples feels better than 80% of the crotch-action but I can't come from that and it's not enough. So, I though, okay I have to learn how stimulating the prostate works. I watched videos, tried tutorials, cleaned myself, used a lot of lube, two types of vibrators (one reall small and short, one really large and long) and my fingers. I tried everything to feel comfortable, many positions and I've put a lot of effort, time, and work into it. After my third time trying it I gave up. I could feel my muscles tensing and relaxing, the pressure, even the need to pee, but never any real sensation or pleasure. Maby, I have the wrong toys, I did it wrong or something else, but it just won't work.
Ā
Soooo I tried anything I could think of that I can do, post-surgery and this is it. I'm waiting until November 1 because that's when I can schedule a preliminary consultation ā and I don't even know if I'll get one. And even if I do, it'll still be a while before the actual surgery takes place. By now, I'm so sexually frustrated that I don't even expect the surgery to make things better. I still needed it, though, because I simply can't live without it.
But even if things improve just a little, Iāll still have to wait a long time before I can use her, and Iāll probably need a second corrective surgery. And I donāt know if I should just accept that I wonāt be able to enjoy sex much until then ā and that maybe things will get a little better afterward, once everything has healed ā or if thereās anything else I can try.
What I know about myself now is the following:
- I really enjoy giving pleasure to other people
- My gf can touch me anywhere but the crotch
- I don't show my thing Infront of my gf; the boxers always stay on (except for ass spanking)
- Teasing my nipples feels good
- I can put stuff in my back without it hurting but I couldn't get pleasure from it as of now
- Only via crotch touching - by me - I can come but, it's not really fulfilling
- I am open to try new stuff
- I need and will get bottom surgery and hope my sex live improves
Ā
It's better than nothing and most of the time I can ignore it. I masturbate like once or twice a week, which is fine. The most stuff always happens in my head. I can have fun during sex, but it's never as good as the anticipation before it. And really good sex for me means, my gf comes and I come, but for me it takes like 5 minutes, and sometimes after she comes, I am too exhausted to even make that happen.
I may be demisexual, but this sexual frustration is really getting on my nerves. Lately I can't even make the two times a week of "me time" a somewhat fulfilling event. I want to change that. Is there still hope? Can I overcome my sexual frustration? And if so, how?
Ā
Thanks for reeding all that. And please be kind to me. You don't have to help if this isn't your thing. Also, these are all my personal experiences, and I have no problem with t-girls who enjoy their body parts and can do things I can't. I am happy for you, and you are not any less trans than me or vice versa.