I have an appointment with Dr Dundas in a few weeks for gender dysphoria diagnosis. But I don't know if I should cancel it.
I've been thinking about transition from age 17 to now age 21. But I don't know if i'll get diagnosed, I don't really experience dysphoria, if I do it's more of a neutrlity towards my body, and I don't know if I want to medically transition either, I think I might like the changes from HRT, but don't feel confident enough to not be afraid to start.
I don't know if i will or want to get diagnosed, I'm making rough hypothetical timeline for when to do things like name changes telling my boss etc, and I chose a new name for the appointment (though I was considering a few beforehand). all to try and get the diagnosis. But I don't know if I will get one based on my lack of dysphoria or strong desire to start HRT alongside my lack of social transition.
The two best possible paths I see, are either I am trans and am diagnosed or that I am not trans and cancel my appointment early and get a refund. But cancelling will just mean I'm waiting for even longer, not knowing what to do.
I don't know what to do, I feel like it is unlikely that I am not trans, my trans friend is almost certain that I am, but why am I not more certain, I feel like I'll need to be confident for a diagnosis and I'll need to persuade a doctor that I am trans and I'm certain of it. But I haven't been able to feel certain over 4 years, I know I'm unhappy I just don't know if transition will make me happier.
Do you think it's likely I'll get diagnosed? Should I cancel it until I feel more certain? Should I exaggerate how I feel to try and force a diagnosis?, I don't know if it's worth just trying to get onto oestrogen to see how I feel, but from what my friend said she didn't feel that different to start with.