We have just begun the journey with a real bed and our 2.5 yo daughter loves it so far. The main issue we are seeing is she will wake up at 2am and start crying for mom (we have some preferred parent issues going on where I am not able to comfort her with her immediately trying to leave the room, adding that as some background)

She doesn’t try to leave the bed, she just lays in bed crying for mom. When do we actually go in to help comfort her? We have a baby monitor so we know she’s perfectly ok, we try to shush and soothe her through the monitor mic, we have a hatch night light as well. Is this a scenario where we need to wait it out longer? Appreciate any advice!

I’m a mom to a 3-year-old little boy. For background, I’m 27 but often told I look much younger. Because of this, I sometimes feel judged, especially in these situations.

My son has about 20 words and has been in speech therapy since he was 18 months old. I advocated for him and wanted him to receive services before his pediatrician even mentioned it. He got ear tubes less than six months ago and has made so much progress from that alone.

Now that he’s transitioning from Early Intervention to therapy through our school district, he had to go for an evaluation. The communication just to get the ball rolling with the next step was very poor, and I wasn’t provided paperwork on time. Because of this, he’s had a gap in services.

I feel shamed and gaslit because they love to point out that services are “optional,” but then often make remarks about how he’s had a two-month gap in services, which wasn’t my doing. Also, now that he’s following a school schedule, even though services continue at home, he’s going to have gaps in services either way.

For starters, the evaluation involved a speech therapist, a special education teacher, and a therapist performing a psychological evaluation. I felt overwhelmed and like I wasn’t even able to fully go over all of his skills in such a short period of time.

They put us in a room full of toys with a divider separating us from another child who was receiving speech therapy. I was first met by the speech therapist, and then the other two showed up. They had all texted me the same date and time, and I had communicated that my son was having his speech evaluation that day and that the other two therapists also wanted to join.

The speech therapist didn’t even know they were showing up and seemed annoyed, telling them they should have texted her. Again, another example of the poor communication.

When my son had his first evaluation, it was much more organized, less overwhelming, and involved much kinder therapists who actually took what I said into consideration instead of writing me off.

This evaluation was a mess. They were flooding my son with toys, so all he wanted to do was play. Then they were getting upset when he wouldn’t demonstrate certain skills, like pointing to a body part.

I told them about all of his skills but felt very written off. They explained that because certain things were “self-reported,” he would score lower. They also reassured me that it wasn’t that they didn’t believe me. I never said they didn’t believe me in the first place, so it felt very condescending.

The speech therapist was the most condescending. I felt like she questioned everything I told her about my child. For example, I mentioned that he makes great eye contact, and she responded, “I’m not seeing that.” We had only been there for about three minutes at that point! Then, anytime he made eye contact, she pointed it out.

I also explained that his eye contact is documented in the notes from the therapist he’s been seeing for the last year and a half, twice a week. However, they didn’t have access to her notes because I wasn’t given a release form until I was literally walking out after the evaluation was finished, which I then had to mail to them.

The entire experience felt extremely overwhelming, and I felt completely written off. Everything my child did was noted, and it really upset me.

I’m not upset that he needs speech services. That’s literally why I’m here! I’m upset about how we were both treated, and it was honestly really hard to keep my cool. I wanted to cry out of frustration.

Outside of his speech delay, I haven’t noticed concerns in other developmental areas, and neither has his previous speech therapist. Even if he did have delays in other areas, I still don’t think the way they treated us was appropriate.
They’re supposed to be doing their jobs, but I can’t help wondering how parents of children with more significant developmental delays or diagnosed disabilities are treated during these evaluations.

I even mentioned how, at his first evaluation at 18 months, the physical therapist brought up that he seemed to have low muscle tone. I was explaining how his pediatrician had never mentioned anything about it before, and they all jumped in to tell me how doctors don’t know about that.

I never denied that he could have low muscle tone! I was simply explaining that his first evaluation was the first time it had ever been brought to my attention.

Am I wrong for thinking the whole evaluation was BS? I understand that I need to go through this process to continue my son’s services, but it still upsets me.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

This is my first ever experience with this but I can only describe it as an intense meltdown and almost a possessed rage. Tonight I put my toddler to bed 1.5 hours earlier than usual as they didn’t nap today. 20 mins later i got up to get a drink and I heard them crying then almost yelling/crying. I came back to the bedroom and my toddler was thrashing all over the bed screaming, aching back, flinging her arms and legs around, crying, rapid breathing whilst trying to get words out.

i couldn’t underhand a thing that was being wsaid so I just sat next to her trying to reassure and calm them. I underhand everything my child says but this was actual incoherent words.
I didn’t know what to do, we co-sleep so I just thought they were confused about where I was after A brief wakening. I just started apologising saying I was getting some water but I’m here and you’re safe etc. etc. nothing worked, inconsolable. i tried a hug and snuggle but it almost made it worse. The thing that made me really concerned was the next thing I could actually understand hearing them say “I CANT WAKE UP. I CANT WAKE UP”. I held them and said “you’re awake you’re safe mummas here”.

this went on for 15 minutes, they then ran out of the bedroom and started doing the same thing on the couch. I was actually so worried, I got out an icy pole as they’re a favourite treat and i thought it could “wake” them? I didn’t know if that’s something I should even try but they obviously felt distressed about not being awake? but there was no interest in an icy pole. It took me 1 hour to nurse them back to comfort and my mind is blown. I’ve never seen anything like that and I feel I’m a bad mum for not knowing how to handle that.
everything else has been pretty stable, only thing I can think of is that it sounds like they have a tummy bug as there were some mild loose consecutive bowel movements today (5 within an hour) but despite them appearing concerned about it, there were no other symptoms, no temperature etc. I thought maybe a stomach bug? my child is almost 3 and they completely stopped napping a few months ago, however over the last couple of weeks they need a nap again or else night time is chaos. today was a no-nap day so they went to bed 1.5 hours earlier than usual.

Does this sound like a night terror?

My toddler's jacket went missing again when my husband picked her up at her school today, and the teachers had no idea. My almost 3yo told us that she saw a classmate's dad take it and gave us that girl's name. We asked the teacher to contact that child's parent to check for us, but they refused and said they would ask that parent tomorrow morning.

My kid also lost a nice jacket last year, which made us angry because it was a gift from my best friend. This time, the missing jacket was a gift from my SIL.

I don't understand those parents. If you come home with a piece of clothing that isn't yours, you should know it doesn't belong to your child and bring it back. I guess common sense is not common for those people. We are very upset and plan to escalate this issue tomorrow if they won't do anything about it, especially since this is a large, professional preschool.

P/S: we write our kid name on all school items

When my toddler has to poop, she runs to a hiding spot then lies down on her stomach to poop. I didn’t question it much since her poop is healthy and she is healthy but now we are potty training her. It was pretty easy getting her to pee in a potty because she naturally squats when she pees anyway. But pooping in a potty weirds her out because she wants to lie down to do it. Any advice?

I have a 3-year-old daughter and today when I picked her up from daycare (a place we love and trust) her teacher let me know that another kid in class was on top of my daughter humping her. The teacher said she talked to them but I was a little too overwhelmed so I didn’t ask follow-up questions. I’m planning on doing that tomorrow at drop off. I want to say first that I know that humping or exploring their bodies is developmentally normal for this age but I’m just spiraling that my daughter was essentially violated even though neither child understands what was happening. I worked at a foster care agency for several years and have seen the worst of the worst so abuse is just such a huge fear of mine. We already talk about safe touch and boundaries and I don’t want to make this more of a thing and actually scare her. I did tell her if someone was in her space and she had already told them no thank you that she could use her hands to push them away (I’m not sure if that was the right thing to say or not). As I mentioned, I’m planning on asking more questions tomorrow and speaking with admin about any policies surrounding stuff like this. Is there anything else I should be doing or saying? I’m having trouble discerning what’s appropriate vs how upset/angry I’m feeling. Would love to hear from anyone that’s been in a similar situation. I don’t shy away from confrontation but I also don’t want to be overly dramatic.

My almost 2 year old does not care to hug her father. He asks for a hug first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He’ll ask when we leave the house and sometimes randomly. He will start fake crying if she doesn’t hug him. So sometimes she’ll give in, but often not. Or he’ll force it.

I’ve told him to stop and it’s teaching her that her no doesn’t matter. He says as her father, he’s entitled to hugs. I strongly disagree, but he won’t listen. Told me we don’t listen when she says no to not eating veggies and wanting a popsicle instead. Definitely not the same.

What do I do? How bad is this going to effect her?

Or is this just a me thing?

Tonight, my daughter spilled a drink I purposely put out of her way to avoid a disaster. I was feeding my dog, had my back turned, and the drink went everywhere.

I admit, I overreacted. I didn’t yell but had some stern words over it because, it’s the end of the night and I’m ready to just relax. Not pick up a drink.

After I cleaned it up, I realized I over reacted over truly nothing. I went to her and apologized. I told her, “I’m sorry for how I acted when the drink spilled. Sometimes, I’m still learning how to be a mom.”

She looked at me and said, “And I’m still learning how to be me.”

I was floored that she articulated that to me. What a great reminder from a 3 year old that she is still learning how to be a person.

I’m well aware I may get hate from this but, I thought this was too good not to share.

Before having my son, I had a job I enjoyed with great benefits and a flexible schedule. After having him, I offered to work part-time or weekends, but my husband refused because his job isn’t flexible. I ended up staying home, even though that wasn’t what I wanted.
Now, almost two years later, I’m miserable. I barely leave the house, don’t really know anyone here because all my friends/family are in a different state, and feel like I’ve lost my identity. My son is in speech therapy, and social skills is one of the areas he qualified, so I think daycare could potentially benefit him too because he has had 0 interactions with other kids his age and the speech language pathologist said this is probably holding him back in certain areas.
Whenever I bring up working, my husband asks why I’d want to return to a job where I used to get yelled at. When I mention daycare, he says he doesn’t trust other people to take care of our son. The thing is, I have some of those same fears. I don’t completely trust daycare either, and I feel guilty about the idea of leaving my son with other people. But I also know that I’m unhappy staying home, and I don’t think wanting to work makes me a bad mother.
Financially, we’re okay, and my husband says we don’t need the money. He also makes comments that imply I just want a break from our son or don’t want to spend time with him, which makes me feel even guiltier.
I love my son more than anything, but I want to feel independent and like myself again. I don’t necessarily want to work because we need the money; I want to work because I need something for myself, too.
I feel conflicted because I understand his concerns about daycare, and I have my own concerns, but I also feel like my needs are being dismissed. I don’t know how to move forward without feeling guilty.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you balance concerns about daycare with wanting to return to work, especially when your partner doesn’t support the idea? Am I being selfish for wanting this?

Hi everyone!

Our family will be headed to Hawaii with our two kids, toddler will be 2.5 and baby will be 6 months. I’m wondering most what do to about car seats and strollers. We will be renting a car at the airport so I’m thinking bringing car seats is the best option, looking into buying two of the cosco scenera as I don’t really want to pack up our nunas. Toddler will have own seat on the plane and baby will be lap sitting, is it better to check both car seats or bring one on the plane for toddler?

I’m also really unsure about what stroller situation is best. We have 3 strollers currently: uppababy vista, which is way too bulky for travel, a side by side bombi double, and a joie nutmeg single travel stroller. I’m debating either just bringing the bombi and checking that even though it’s huge, bringing just the joie single and letting the kids take turns (either having toddler walk or wear baby in the carrier when necessary), or buying two single umbrella strollers.

Any thoughts would be appreciated, as well as advice for the trip! It’ll be our first time doing a 4+ hour flight with two kids so I’m a little nervous. Thanks in advance everyone!

Our (newly) 3 year old's bedtime is taking forever.

We always do the same routine: bath, pajamas, brush teeth, 3 books, and then lights out. We use Hatch color changing to show him when it's time to get into bed and for the lights to go out. We have always stayed with him until he falls asleep, which until about 4 months ago, took about 30 mins. We could leave the room and he'd usually sleep through the night without any issues.

Now we are lucky if he falls asleep within 2 hours of starting the bedtime routine.

If he skips his nap, his behavior in the evenings is pretty rough. He'll be extra wound up and impulsive. But, he falls asleep quickly. If he takes a nap (even if it's capped at an hour), he will take 2-3 hours to fall asleep. If we leave, he panics. Cries and hyperventilates. We are not going to let him do that. But how can we help him fall asleep faster? Or at least feel safer by himself in his room? Daycare is required to offer him a nap so we can't always skip it. Help. 🫠

My kiddo was diagnosed with a speech delay around 19 months by early intervention. We currently see them 1x a week.

His receptive language wasn’t all there. He’s getting better at that. Does actions to songs like wheels on the bus ect

The evaluator thinks he’s possibly autistic because;

He wasn’t making great eye contact (will look if you’re playing or stop playing)

Not responding to name (will do it 50/50 but can’t be focused on what he’s doing)

Randomly will spin but not often. Maybe 1-2x a day

Toe walks (it’s here and there not consistent)

He’s EXTREMELY active. Runs when he can and just doesn’t stay still long.

Plays correctly puzzles, blocks, cars on a ramp, pretending to eat play ice cream (doesn’t line things up, spin wheels, ect)

It sits in the back of my head but I feel like these aren’t 100%?

My 2 year old has started his crying and plank of refusal. It didn't use to be this bad. But I made the mistake of letting him clamber around in my car for fun one rainy day and now he just wants to do that instead. I have had to resort to toys, waiting till he is obliging (he wanders the garden for 30min to 1 hour), brute force with my head against his belly to keep him "folded". It doesn't seem sustainable and I am out of ideas. Please help! Does it get better? Do I need to resort to other new bag of toys to distract him?

My 2.5 year old has always been a great sleeper since he’s been a newborn. He would slightly cry when we would leave the room but then quickly settle. He’s always slept typically from 8-8 sometimes longer and always took good naps.

One day, we lost power and it got dark and he got scared. That evening he panicked in his crib. Like straight up panic attack. So we tried to adjust as best we could and would sit in the chair next to his crib until he fell asleep. But then that evening if he wakes up and we aren’t there it’s straight up panic. I thought it was separation anxiety or just being more aware but now I wonder if it’s a regression. It’s been like this for a month every night.

I’ve tried everthing. We’ve gotten him new stuffies, night lights, kept the door open, we stay a little and then sat goodnight. I’ve even tried cry it out. His panic seems better but he’s still bawling for over an hour if we aren’t in the room. The exhausting part is this is happening for hours at a time all through the night. Sometimes I just get exhausted and let him cry. We have been getting 4-5 hours of sleep for a month now and I’m helpless.

The crazy part is this is very uncharacteristic of him. My oldest was a difficult sleeper/low sleep needs child but my 2 year old always loved his sleep and needed longer sleep and always slept independently.

In addition he recently got sick so we have been trying to cater more to him and stay in the room until he sleeps but this is just adding to my sleep deprivation - sometimes he’s up for hours at night. And he’s so exhausted. I can see this lack of sleep catching up to him.

Any advice ?

FTM my toddler is 16 months old. Today we were working in our basement and my husband was coming down the stairs holding an armful of stuff, my daughter ran up to him but she was right in his blind spot as he was walking. He walked right into her and she fell flat on her back onto the concrete floor.

She hesitated a few moments before starting to cry. We checked her pupils and they’re okay and we gave her some Tylenol after she calmed down about ten minutes later.

I watched her for about 2 more hours before bedtime and she was fussy but in generally good spirits and acting normal. Even so I’m still so anxious with a head injury at this age. Right now our only option would be to go to the er because nothing else is open… she’s sleeping peacefully now but even now I’m wondering if we should take her in.

I need some peace of mind or a clear direction. My husband think she’s perfectly fine since she was acting normal but I don’t know…

Hi all!

My 4.5 year old son has been potty trained for 2 years now. However, he still wears a night time diaper.

We restrict his fluids after dinner around 6p. We’ve tried wearing undies to bed and he always pees around 2-3am. He still sometimes pees through the PM diaper and wets the bed.

He’s capable of taking it off, putting it on. He comes downstairs fully dressed in the am. But he will not let the night time diaper go. His bathroom is right next to his bedroom.

How do I end the night time diaper? They’re so expensive because he’s a big kid for his age and now we have a newborn so diapers are getting $$$$.

SOS.

Not sure what I’m looking for here, maybe just a place to put down how I’m feeling.

My 17m old has been a shocking sleeper since he was 3.5 months old. He woke every half an hour or more for months, and when we employed a well reviewed sleep consultant who worked based only on evidence based behavioural sleep interventions we saw absolutely no difference, despite their best efforts and initial confidence. We then went the medical route and had him thoroughly examined by an ENT and a paediatrician to rule out physiological reasons for waking, but he got the all clear. We somehow got through to when he was about 12 months, at which point I had a bit of a mental health episode and we decided to do a gentle type of sleep training with the help of a second sleep consultant, who was much more in the overtiredness/non-scientific sleep camp - again, absolutely no difference to his sleep with this approach.

We have continued surviving. We saw some success when we calculated his sleep need (11 hours) and stuck to it religiously, resulting in maybe 2-3 wake ups per night which felt sustainable, but for the past 2 or so months that approach has also failed. He wakes probably every hour, often distressed, often crying for long periods, painkillers don’t make any difference. My husband and I have been taking turns co-sleeping in shifts so we each get some sleep, but for the last few nights he has been hysterical unless his dad is there, so it’s been all on dad while I try and sleep in the next room so I can get up with him at 6am and get him to daycare etc before I go to work. For context both my husband and I work full time.

I just don’t know what to do. I am so unbelievably tired. My own child doesn’t seem to enjoy being with me or take comfort in my presence. I am not coping well in my professional life because of the exhaustion, and financially we are struggling in part because my husband’s business can’t work at full capacity while he is so exhausted. I truly just don’t know what to do. There are lots of sleep trainers on social media who say they can help but as we have already outlaid $1000+ on professional help to no avail so it feels foolish to spend more money that we don’t have.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Did you find a solution?

TLDR: Sleep training failed twice, 1.5 year old won’t sleep, parents no longer functioning.

My 14 month old has HFM. Currently waiting to see if my 3 year old will get it (I’m sure he will). This is dramatic, but nothing prepared me for how gross I would feel about this. I already don’t like germs and struggle with contamination ocd. I know this is a part of parenthood and that’s fine I can deal. I just want to whine about it for a minute. My son hasn’t stopped his stream of drool for 4 days now. So for days I have been covered and coated in HFM tainted drool. Everything he touches is tainted and I can’t keep up with cleaning it all. Also I didn’t realize the blisters POP AND OOZE. So now not only is the drool everywhere, but we’ve added HFM blister juice into the mix. I feel disgusting. I feel like the house and toys will never be clean again. Especially since apparently this can hang out in their saliva for 1-3 weeks post infection (if I’m reading the information I’ve seen correctly)?? How the fuck am I suppose to keep up with Clorox wiping everything for the next 3 weeks?

If you read the whole thing thanks for letting me complain. Obviously we will carry on and it’s not that bad. I’m just in the thick of it and feel the impending doom of waiting for my 3 year old to get it.

My son is 2.5 years old and we're officially in the trying to strong arm him into eating phase. He is a very stubborn and intense kid and I am honestly so exhausted from fighting with him. All he wants is crackers every day. He is fed very well at daycare and eats nothing, comes home and only wants crackers.

We admittedly let things go by the wayside because we had twins a year ago and life has been hectic, we were letting him eat at his toddler tower a lot of time because at least he was eating. Now we are trying to transition him to eating at the table with us and giving him one thing he likes and 2 new items (not new, he used to eat everything). Tonight was another battle and we compromised with him sitting in his booster at the island (where his tower was) but eating crackers 🤦🏼‍♀️.

My friends say just keep being persistent and he will break but he literally starves himself at daycare most days and never breaks so how will it be different at home when he's obviously more difficult with his own patents?

I seriously need support and an actual game plan, not just be coating trying to handle 3 under 3. I am contemplating getting a pediatric dietician involved to see if they can help.

My daughter is around 2½ now and my biggest concern is she wonders everywhere. She wont stand next to me or stay still.

I try holding her hand but the moment she sees somthing she likes she tries to let go and if I dont let go she will fall too her butt. Thats when I just pick her up and hold her despite her being upset. Any events we try and go too if I try to get her too stay with me she instantly tries to go too other tables or people.

Im trying stranger danger but I also dont want her terrified of everyone.

Any advice would be appreciated..

Okay, Joining the Potty training convo. Our 2 year old is very aware of the potty and has gone a few times. Our issue is getting her to go willingly. We have tried the Winnie the Pooh method and she HATES it. She begs for her diaper and we usually give in because she gets really upset and I dont wanna push it. I had the idea to start giving her sour candies as a reward (She really likes them, we discovered that this week). My issue here is, how do you stop giving candy once thats the reward system? I never had this issue with my oldest. He pretty much potty trained himself and was ready to be out of diapers. Any honest to got tips on what to do here?

My son just turned 2 this past July. While he has had some tantrums and meltdowns it seems like they’ve really ramped up in the last month. It’s like everything lately triggers him: mealtime, not being able to have his pacifier, losing a toy, coming home from being out, etc. he start going to preschool 5 days a week and when I’ve asked the teachers haven’t mentioned anything about the tantrums or his behavior, but when he comes home it’s like an unhinged animal. He refuses dinner, won’t let my husband or I eat dinner because he wants something or wants to play. He had a 30 min meltdown tonight because we refused to give him his pacifier (it’s only for bedtime) and he threw his plate of food, threw toys, threw my phone etc. it’s been more or less like this during the evenings and it’s extremely draining. My husband and I both work full time and we’re just beat by the end of the day. I felt terrible because I just lost my sh*t and screamed at my son’s face when he was melting down because I literally just didn’t know what else to do.I’m also currently pregnant with #2 and all I can think about is how am I going to survive this and do it again with another kid.

I’ve also decided to get him evaluated by a speech therapist to see if his inability to express himself fully can be contributing to this behavior (he has a hard time stringing together 2 word phrases)

At pickup today his teacher brought up to me that he has trouble sitting still during circle time when they go through their morning routine (days of the week, weather, etc). She specifically said that he loves learning new things and is very focused when they bring up a new subject or activity, but the things they repeat day-to-day seem to lose his interest. Her suggestion was reading books at home and building repetitive routines that can carry over to the classroom.

For context he is 27 months and goes to a Montessori school. We've been at this centre for almost a year now and have had no other issues and have no intentions on changing. I am just curious if anyone else has experienced something similar. My first conclusion is that he is bored with things he already knows, but can a 2 year old be bored at daycare?

Is there such a thing as a 20 month sleep regression? My toddler used to nap perfectly for 2.5-3 hrs and sleep through the night from 8:30-7:30.

She’s now waking between 4:30-5:30am (apart from one off good days back around 7) and is fighting her nap by refusing the crib (will only nap on a parent or grandparent). Just confused as to what’s going on and out of ideas.

It did start shortly after we got back from a 15-day trip to Japan (got back 1 month ago and it started after the jet lag wore off) however she’s traveled to 8 countries and this is not how jet lag usually messes with her. She comes out of jet lag within 1-2 weeks and it’s never affected her nap before.

Do we need to transition to a toddler bed? Why is she okay with the crib for bedtime but not naps?