EDIT: No medical advice please! Whether that's self help, treatment options, mental health books, etc. Unless it is part of your experience coping with your shopping addiction and you want to say what has worked for you, I don't want generic suggestions about fixing my heath. That's not what i'm here for. I want suggestions about shopping addiction and strategies for coping from people with brains like mine.

I have ADHD, a bunch mental illnesses, childhood trauma, and some mysterious other symptoms. My mom also died last year and that has made all my issues worse. Because of this I still live with my family at 28, can't work, socialise, or do much of anything that requires me to leave the house or expend energy. I spend most of my life in bed. I am exhausted 24/7 and but also feel desperately understimulated (hello ADHD), depressed, suicidal, and the whole lot of other things (Yes, I am in therapy/medicated, but i'm still really struggling)

I have a lot of hobbies that keep me busy and make me happy and should technically make it easy to not spend money. I love to knit and crochet with very thin yarn that takes a very long time to work up so I don't HAVE to buy yarn very often. I love puzzles and the NYT app on my phone is an extremely affordable way to have unlimited amount of them. I love tv shows and movies and music and YouTube and ebooks, and I can get those for free or cheap too. I have LOTS of low cost low energy ways to keep me entertained.

But sometimes when I feel especially bad (as I do now), I have even less energy, and even my low energy hobbies become too difficult. I can't concentrate, I feel painfully understimulated, I feel like life has no purpose and I can't see or care about a future. I feel a lot of emotional pain.

Enter shopping.

It's an easy low energy way to get dopamine and make me feel less bored. All I need to do is look at pretty things and press a button. It's easy to justify when you struggle to see or care about the future, because in my head, I won't be around to deal with the consequences. I'm not in debt, but I also struggle to keep savings. I spend just to feel...something. To make my empty life that mostly consists of the four walls of my bedroom less empty and painful.

I am doing everything I can on the medical front to deal with things with a team of mental health professionals, so i'm not asking for medical advice. But I guess...anyone else in the same boat? What do you do about it? How do you cope?

this is one thing that's really helping me change my thinking. I'm sure a lot of us understand the feeling of getting bored and wanting shiny new things. If we want to get better, we need to be able to find the beauty in the things we already have that we use over, and over, and over until they are completely unusable.

There's something charming and beautiful about the scuffed up, faded phone case. The crusty eyeshadow palette that's taking you forever to use up. The clothes you've worn a hundred times. The laptop that's not as efficient as it used to be but still gets the job done. The shoes that have molded to your feet. The liquid eyeliner that you're determined to use every last drop out of. The desk you bought as a broke college student that's still functional despite not being very aesthetic.

Train yourself to find the beauty in the old, imperfect things you already own. When the material aspect of your life is stable and stagnant, you'll have to find other ways to enjoy a new, shiny, exciting thing. This could be reading another book, watching another series, developing new skills, gaining new knowledge, having interesting new experiences, etc. You can get creative and find different ways to use the makeup or art supplies you already have, rearrange your room, do something outside of your normal routine. ANYTHING. I think it's normal to be in search of novelty, but a lot of us fall into the trap of satisfying this urge through unhealthy means. If we can shift that urge from shopping to learning, creating, and exploring, we would live much happier lives

Please forgive the wall of text. TL;DR: I'm logging each item manually in my notebook, complete with a simple drawing of it, before I check out.

I've been struggling with buying tons and tons of stuff from the cheap dropshipping sites. Mostly stickers and other stationery sorts of things, but I've branched out to jewelry now too. I bought so much from them that my credit union called me with a fraud alert. I order duplicates of things because I've not really keeping track of what I've bought. I think a lot of the problem is that I've lost the connection between "Add to Cart" and the real U.S. dollars for which I trade my life energy. The stuff is building up in my house, and I don't even truly want most of it. And since returns are a hassle, I end up keeping the junk. Clearly, something must be done.

So, I decided to keep an online shopping log with good old pencil and paper. I started it today with the items that haven't arrived yet. (I did cancel the orders that haven't shipped.) I intend to add items to the log before I check out. The advantage to that is that I connect better with the idea that dollars are being exchanged for a physical item that will be taking up space in my home. I often say I think with my hands, because physically writing things down cements them in my brain. (This is how journaling became my primary hobby in the first place.) It also puts time between myself and the purchase. And it gives me the opportunity to check whether I've already ordered something nearly identical.

But wait, you say. If you can't see the item, how do you know whether you've ordered it? The descriptions on those sites can be nonsensical, after all. But here's the good part: The log includes simple colored pencil drawings of the items I've ordered. Could I print pictures of the items and paste them in my notebook? Sure. It would probably even fulfill the purpose just fine. But, like I said, I think with my hands. Besides, it's fun. Ideally, the drawing gives me the dopamine hit that a purchase would, without the purchasing. And as I get more confident with my drawings, I'll need fewer drop-shipped stickers to fill up my journal.

In the past I only had mostly second handed clothes so when I became an adult I had no sense of what style of fashion actually suited me and I ended up spending like $200 average a month on clothes for a couple of years. I really regret it now and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve been more careful on how I budget since the beginning of the year and probably spent around $60 a month now but I still hate my past self so much idk what to do. I just regret so many of my past actions.

I have struggled with emotional shopping for years. It was coming and going, like a wave. Some months I was doing pretty well (though still not quite normal- a good month would be £50-60 spent on clothes) some absolutely awful. This year things worsened even more as I started to use vinted A LOT (a lot more than before). Some weeks I had like 1/2 parcels almost every day. I tried to keep track and write down all I spent but even that wasn’t an enough wake up call. I maxed out my credit card (another one). My financial situation is honestly pretty bad, I was struggling to make it to the next pay check. And felt so fucking embarrassed and disgusted every month!! My partner knows I struggle with this and I can be open about it with him but I just became so embarrassed I wasn’t even able to talk to him anymore (mainly because of our financial situation). I just suffered in silence alone.

Nearly 3 weeks ago I took the hit and deleted my Vinted permanently. I said to myself no more buying and purging cycle where I buy 20 items and get rid of 15 telling myself it’s okay this way. No more wasted money because I missed the size, clothing was dirty or smelly. It took me two weeks to make the final decision, it was SO HARD to let go. But I feel so FREE now I can’t even describe how amazing it feels. I very quickly noticed vinted made ma want to shop overall even for new things on normal websites because since it’s been gone my urge has gone down massively. I unsubscribed to a lot of newsletters from brands, deleted my credit card from payments methods from everywhere aside Amazon. I also keep my credit cards in a drawer, I don’t carry them around with me and I don’t have them in my apple wallet. I use an app blocker and block my bank apps so I can’t access the card details from there just to make shopping online harder.

So far we are half way through October and I am doing so well. I bought a cheap pair of trainers for the gym as my previous had a hole. Aside nothing clothing wise (my biggest struggle) I will now also write down other things to make sure I don’t transfer this addiction to buying random things all together. After seeing I spent £235 on clothes and shoes in September my heart sank. I know it might not be that much for others but it is to me and it’s not normal. I have plenty of clothes to wear and items to use I am perfectly fine as it is. I am currently in the PMS stage of my cycle which always made me spent the most but so far I feel good and motivated.

I am very quickly noticing how much choice I have in my wardrobe though I actually don’t have that much. I am a bit of a minimalist at heart which I know can be contradictory but I got rid of a lot on vinted before but also donated a fair bit. I care less what I wear as long as I’m comfy and warm, I appreciate and cherish my clothes I WANT TO WEAR THEM not just buy new and new. Such a lovely feeling. Lots of warmth inside.

I believe that if I can show myself I can do this for one month then it will only become easier. I feel extremely proud of myself so far.

If anyone read till the end, thank you x and good luck if you’re on this journey too x we can do this 🥺

I have a horrible shopping problem and have accrued 17k in debt in the past two years. I'm in dire need of help. What's a good SA or DA meeting for newcomers?

I have a massive collection of clothing — my thing is vintage and I’ve been thrifting for so many years I literally have more stuff than I could possibly get wear out of. Drawers so packed I can’t even see or access a lot of the stuff. Shoes stacked on top of each other on racks. No room for more hangers etc.

For years I’ve been in a cycle of buying and then purging bags back to donate or consign sometimes. I always tell myself I will stop collecting so much and organize my space but it’s always in a state of being out of hand and getting worse, because I can’t stop shopping.

I feel like over the last month, I’ve had a true mindset shift for the first time, where I’ve just had so many piles that have no place to go and I keep collecting junk I don’t need. The last straw for me was that I went to a clothing swap and came back with just as much stuff as I brought and have no room for any of it. Meanwhile I have a massive closet and there’s no excuse for there to not be room. It made me realize I need to make some serious changes.

Whenever I have an urge to buy since then, I go into my closet and make myself wear something I have that serves the same purpose and/or look through my closet and it makes me not want to buy anything new.

Ive also started listing special pieces that I never wear on Poshmark — stuff I’ve been hanging on to for “just in case” moments or because it’s so pretty even if I never use it or it doesn’t fit right etc.

Well, I literally made $500 without much hassle over the last two weeks. All the stuff I sold was sitting in bins and none of it had been worn in probably two years. And I have so much more I can sell. Seeing money come back in instead of out is honestly such a relief, and I’m going to keep doing this!

Also, I am donating some stuff as well. I don’t think I’m fully out of the woods yet but the biggest thing is that I haven’t made a clothing purchase in at least a month which is a big step for me — so space is ACTUALLY getting made. And I’m trying to appreciate what I do have and let go of what’s not serving me.

Please share your stories or plans for similar projects (or barriers) if you feel inclined, I would love to hear them ❤️

I only bought one unnecessary thing and it was a $8 clearance black top. I’m going to a funeral in a few days so I’ll let myself have it. My goal in general is to stick to needs and purchase ONE treat under $10. I did it !!! :,) idk if this sub fucks with small steps or if I need to fully get over it but ig we’ll see

I'm in my final year of uni now so everyday life is stressful and I'm getting back into habits of online window shopping and buying useless stuff. I am shopping either irl or online, almost every day for things I really don't need.

And I know that I should delete the apps and stop going to the stores for no reason but whenever I try, it doesn't really last long.

The main thing is that I know it helps me with stress at the moment so I do it, even when I know how bad it is long term.

It's not that I don't have other hobbies and coping mechanisms, it's the fact I know deep down nothing will work as well and be as novel.

I went on for a while not buying clothes except for a few basics or essentials. but since buying my first car, I’ve suddenly been anxiously scrolling Vinted & ebay every few hours for new collectors items, clothes, boots etc. It feels like half of my issue is I go through waves of being really into my collectors hobby and then losing interest for a few weeks. Then another half is that I realised I have quite bad sensory issues, so many of my clothes feel uncomfortable or I only notice after a few wears. Then because I want to wear so few of my clothes, I’m constantly on the hunt for new ones in case they become a new staple. This does happen quite a lot where I find the perfect pair of jeans or boots second hand. but equally I also waste so much money on stuff that doesn’t fit well or feel good and I can’t return it. I’m so annoyed because I just listed a load of my wardrobe that is uncomfortable and sold 4 items in one day but I’ve now spent all of that. Just a rant lol.

I don’t need or want anything. However, I still have a strong impulse to buy something, anything. I find myself browsing shopping apps and websites for no reason. Thanks to my bipolar medication and therapy, I have just enough restraint to stop myself. How can I do to channel these impulsive feelings into something positive?

I haven't bought any clothes in 2 months and hoping to make it until the end of the year which would be my longest no buy since I was like 15 lol! If you love watching collection/project pan/no buy videos this may be helpful.

What's really helped me is doing like a weird 'project pan' thing where I pick a few pieces I've been neglecting and try to wear them a lot during the month. I've picked stuff that's almost tearing or pilling etc because I know it will give me a rush once i 'finish it off' and cross it off the list and it's satisfying to work through my massive closet in a way. It's also showing me how hard it is to get clothes to that point though!

I am also happy because I'm wearing stuff I haven't worn in ages. What's annoying though is some stuff has broken and I don't have replacements (I'm addicted to thrifting clothes but I rarely buy bags and shoes because they're $$$), for example my boots. However since we're luckily going into summer I'm going to wait until the new year to look for new boots.

It's annoying because I wish I had a friend in real life who was also struggling so we could keep each other motivated but no one really has a shopping problem or they don't want to fix it haha. Grateful for this sub and hope this helps someone.

I need support not to overspend on clothes, book, seasonal items, food, and thrifting. What are your best tips?

if I want to buy something I become obsessive about it. It’s all I think about until I get it, but after I get it the novelty wears off. What are some tips for this

When I started focusing on no online shopping and overall managing what I spend money on besides just paying off my credit cards I started a separate savings account that I am not allowed to touch this is money for taxes as I’m self employed and usually do a terrible job putting aside the necessary money … it creates a lot of stress and leads to more shopping to cope bc I get a very F it attitude over it .. I also know I can’t way until all my credit cards and personal loans are paid down to do this bc otherwise the cycle will continue come tax season .. so today I check and since I opened up the account in the beginning of August I have saved $3500 … it’s wild bc some weeks it was a little tight putting money there but for the most part it wasn’t which just shows how much bullshit I was wasting money on previously .. I also am watching my total spending per month and what merchants I am using and overall months are way down since Aug and I don’t feel like I’m going without anything .. crazy how I was so oblivious to how much I was spending and consuming

I’ve always been an impulsive shopper but as soon as I graduated this year, I have been spending money that I quite frankly don’t have. Whether it’s takeout or makeup or books I don’t deny myself anything. It might be because I have more free time (and I can’t find a full time job which makes me depressed) but I spend most of my free time browsing stores.

Anyway yesterday was the first time I didn’t spend money in a while. Made coffee at home and went for a walk instead of a store! I have to start paying my student loans by the end of this year which is daunting to think about, but I have to get a grip on this addiction while I can. Just wanted to share!

My wife has a problem and my constant efforts of trying to stop her have failed. She loves buying clothes and home items. We are a family of 3 which includes me, my wife and our 8yr old son. I’m the only one who works. She is a SAHM. We are a middle class family. We have a 4 bedroom house. Our house looks like a hoarder house because of this problem. All the rooms including our four bedrooms, dining room, living room and study is filled with boxes and clothes. We stopped inviting friends and family over because of how our house looks. She uses mine and her credit cards to buy everything. She has ruined her credit because she can’t control herself and keeps opening up new cards to buy stuff. She does have other mental health issues and she takes meds for that but I don’t know how to help her with this Just over the weekend we had another intervention with family and she said she would stop but I woke up this morning to another charge on the card from last night! I am seriously considering taking her card away and only giving her monthly allowance for gas and food for our son. I want our son to grow up in a nice clean house where he can have family and friends over and I am so sad that I can’t give him that. What should I do? I am so disheartened at this point!

I feel like I’ve used shopping as a hobby and I’m over it. I “relapsed” after a year of being on a strict budget and basically spent thousands I didn’t have and am back in debt. So mortifying.

I’m looking for some suggestions on hobbies I could do that are more analog/offline. I already read and occasionally color. I like cooking and baking already. I thought about needlepoint but then I look at the cost of the canvases/threads here in Canada and that seems like a slippery slope? I see that things like mahjong and needlepoint are more popular now but they seem to be expensive so feel like that’s something to be avoided.

I got sucked into the ******** sale. I was feeling pleased with myself having only added the lip liner and lipstick i love (at much reduced prices) and a top I'd had on my wishlist for 6 months to my basket – strategic purchases that I hadn't allowed to snowball.

As I was checking out with 'only' a £36 basket a voice in the back of my head said it's still shopping isn't it – and somehow i was able to listen. I emptied the basket, closed the laptop and went outside.

Recently I've had some success with disabling shopping triggers and blocking some websites, but this is the first time I've turned it around 'mid-binge'. Anything's possible I suppose!

Hi all. I've been here for a while, but I don't think I've talked much, or at all. I had joined 18 months ago, after my now-husband had told me that I had a problem with spending. I tightened my boot straps a bit, and things got better. Well, I thought they did.

Jump to now, the past 3 months have been BAD. My bank account is always negative 3 days after I get paid. I re-maxed out all my credit cards. Last week I even opened up a new one just so I could buy a crazy expensive item I've wanted for months that was "on sale." I addressed it to my house, but under my mother's information, so I could hide it from my husband. That's when I realized I really do have a problem. (And I told him the next day about the purchase, in case anyone is wondering)

I've done some more thorough research, and I can see that what I've been ignoring are all very big signs of a true addiction. I've also found that some of my mental health conditions have a higher likelihood of developing a shopping addiction than others. But the worst part is that I've found out how much my behavior has been hurting my husband. How he's tried to help me, and guide me not to spend, and I've just been ignoring and disregarding him for months. I've mad him feel unimportant and unappreciated. I've made us scramble to try and get gas when the bank is negative and the cards are full.

I will be talking to my therapist about it tonight, but I'm curious how you all coped during the first few days. I'm full of self-hatred (to the extent that I asked my husband to cancel my birthday plans (he said no) ) and I'm so ashamed. And the worst part is I can't stop thinking about how shopping would make me feel better.

I'm trying to take that "find stuff to buy" energy and put it into finding help and resources. I'm most curious to know how everyone coped through the initial realization, but I'll never turn down a good book/podcast/workbook to try either. Thanks x

I got a large refund and will get another refund as well in about a week as I’m returning something and don’t want to see it as money I can spend

I understand it’s part of a bigger economical problem, like nowadays people can’t afford buying a house, so they buy little everyday luxuries.

I so often catch myself into wanting certain things like an overpriced latte or some skincare item, just because “i deserve it”. The problem is not when it is actually an every now and then treat; It’s about when it becomes a regular normalized every day thing. It all adds up so fast… without even realizing it.

Do you guys catch yourselves doing this kind of self talk? What did you do to stop it?

Hey girlies, does anyone have advice on how to use free money to save instead of spend? I am a 22 yo college student, and I get told a lot that I buy a lot of stuff frequently. This is my first time living on my own, being independent, and I started working two jobs. I have never been in debt for shopping; however, I feel like if I know I have the money and all my bills are paid, I will go to the store. I just got a new apartment in august so I bought some stuff for the apartment and clothes for the new season. Totally about 2k, and i make in a month like 1k... Some stuff was for fun or that i always wanted. Nothing too crazy or expensive but it adds up. My roommates and family make aware to me that I go out shopping and to eat alot. I really want to start saving, so does anyone have like a trick to save your free money.