r/shittyaskscience • u/LiquidSoCrates • 17h ago

How come ghosts don’t haunt apartments? **Warning Shocking

I know an apartment complex where nothing but bad stuff used to happen 25/7 throughout the 80s, 90s and 2000s. Now it’s been renovated and it’s all classy. Where are the ghosts? Some girl falls under a horse in 1855 and the entire property is subsequently haunted in perpetuity but ten people get murked every decade in an apartment complex and there ain’t a ghost in sight.

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9

u/No_Tailor_787 17h ago

Ever see a bug that's been painted onto a wall? That's what happened to the ghosts.

8

u/LiquidSoCrates 16h ago

So painters are the Real Ghostbusters?

5

u/No_Tailor_787 16h ago

Yeah, sure. Why not?

5

u/LiquidSoCrates 16h ago

I used to smoke crack with the painters back when I worked construction. Those dudes were always drinking or smoking something. Good people, and scary like a Dracula.

5

u/No_Tailor_787 16h ago

That probably explains why we don't see Dracula on the streets any more. He's painted on to a wall. He's gonna be pissed if he gets out because some dumb kid was eating paint chips or something.

1

u/Headpuncher Knocking The Sense Back In 28m ago

Bustin' makes you feeel guuuud!

5

u/Sarissa32 12h ago

Ghosts don't wanna deal with landlords either.

3

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 16h ago

Because ghosts wouldn't be seen dead in an apartment complex.

1

u/TychaBrahe 10h ago

What makes you think they don't?

1

u/Headpuncher Knocking The Sense Back In 13m ago

Ghosts appear when the dead have unresolved issued in life. What capitalism has taught me is that people who live in housing for normals, your average mouth breather, they don't have enough emotional or intellectual depth to remain in the afterlife.

That's why (according to capitalism and also feudalism) the great estate houses are haunted.

I'll bet Pemberley House has lots of Mr. Darcy ancestors defecting ghost toilet in the halls, and slipping in and out of portraits of their own inbred, arrogant faces. I shudder to think.

Your average "apartment" (often referred to as a "flat" in correct English of the Isles) wouldn't house people of intellectual stature great enough to be carried into the next life. Dead and gone and best forgotten, they didn't even have the foresight to be selfish during life, why would they be selfish in death?

[This is an excerpt from my series of talks: The Socioeconomic Ouiji Board and Fecal Consistency, A Correlation. ]