r/seniorkitties • u/EmbarrassedReveal269 • 9h ago
Friend for your remaining cat (16)
I'm putting my sweet boy Jack (17) down on Monday. He has kidney disease, and I've been doing the special diet and all the things around water, but he's declining fast right now. I had an appointment on the 28th, and I moved it up. The vet, whom I adore and trust, gave me the options, and none of them fit the quality of life that I want to make sure Jack has. He's not eating or drinking on his own (so I'm feeding him special foods by hand and water every few hours); he's stopped being social with his best buddy, and even with me, he is withdrawing.
Here is my question. His best buddy Mumford (16) has stopped hanging out with him.
1) Am I making a mistake by bringing Jack to the vet to be put down vs having him put down at home (where Mumford can see his body).
2) Should I get Mumford a buddy?
Jack was a foster dad to close to 100 kittens from the SPCA over 10 years (he was amazing at it). I got Mumford about a year after I got Jack, and I didn't foster for several years. When I did, Mumford was never as welcoming to the fosters. But Mumford has been (up until now) so bonded to Jack.
So I'm curious for you who have senior cats who were bonded - did you get another kitten or two, or did you have your other senior stay solo?
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u/fucusgang 9h ago
I'm so sorry about your kidney baby. We put our kidney boy down on 09/30, a similar situation. Declined incredibly fast, stopped eating but still drank water and got subcutaneous fluids. Our kitten took a really big liking to him but had stopped trying to play with him as he declined because I feel like he knew something was going on.
I don't think it's a mistake to do what you feel is right for Jack and Mumford. We chose to go to the vet but gave our cats the chance to see him before we left. I don't think I could have handled it happening at home.
I would give Mumford time and space to grieve and adjust to the loss of Jack. If you do decide to get a kitten, slow introductions are the best.
Again, I'm so sorry. CKD is awful and I would do anything to have my boy back for one more good day.
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u/EmbarrassedReveal269 8h ago
Thank you. I think Mumford will be ok, but I don’t know. He’s such a social boy. He will be getting a lot of love.
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u/Buckykattlove 8h ago
We've always brought the bodies back for the other animals to see and smell. I think it helps them somewhat. I don't know if that is possible for you to do. I wouldn't get a new kitten too quickly. See what Mumford does first. He'll likely want alot of attention from you.
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u/EmbarrassedReveal269 8h ago
Mumford is such a cuddle bug. He still sleeps with me every night, while Jack has decided to stop sleeping with us (he likes the bathroom now).
It is possible for me to do, but I don’t know if I can handle that. I had my last dog put down and there is such a change in their body when their life ends. My vet is an hour away, so Jack would stop being Jack. I am afraid I would melt down.
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u/chosslord 7h ago
If you can, I would do an at home euthanasia. It’s a much better experience for them to pass in their own home and it will allow your other cats to see them and get closure.
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u/Different-Dance-7537 8h ago
We had two cats, Amber and Duncan. Amber is our elderly (22 or 23-she was a rescue of uncertain age when we adopted her) ladycat. Duncan was around 12 or 13 (2 or 3 when he came to us) when our daughter sent him to us 10 years ago.
Duncan became ill a couple of years ago with an autoimmune disorder. He became progressively more ill, crossing the Bridge when he had had enough in May of this year.
Amber seemed to miss him, looking around the house for him in all of his old favorite spots. We decided to adopt a new kitty last week, an adorable little void of about 4 months. His name is Desmond.
He's quite shy, doing most of his playing at night when the house is dark and quiet. As soon as we are up and moving in the morning, he retreats to a little hidey hole he discovered in a small room across the hall from our bedroom. He has been slowly coming into daytime view, letting us catch a glimpse every couple of hours. He won't let us touch him yet, but seems to have a good appetite.
Amber is slightly disgruntled, letting out a low growl from time to time, but is willing to be in the same room with him, making no attempt to batt at him with her paws. She allows him to eat undisturbed. They are both gradually adjusting. It will be slow, but we think we made the right decision and that they will adjust if we are patient.
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u/dennis-obscure 6h ago
Autumn and Snow were a bonded pair. When Snow passed Autumn seemed fine on her own, but I came across Dot, a senior kitty about the same edge that had been waiting at a shelter for a long time. After the slow introduction process and a split house for a time, Dot and Autumn lived together, despite not appearing to really "like" each other. I counted it as a win even if the only benefit was Dot getting a home rather than the shelter.
Not much later CDS delivered April a kitten. Neither senior was impressed, the slow intros were defeated by escape artist kitten, but that just led to Dot playing pointer to tell me what furniture April was hidden under.
I think I was still isolating youngster from the seniors when Dot passed.
Adopted a new younster Sapphire that was too energetic for everyone, especially the geriatric Autumn. After several attempts to let all three coexist I had to conclude that Autumn was going to hurt herself in one of her "Stop messing with me, I'm your elder!" displays while her arthritis was limiting her mobility. Decided to stay with the split house senior vs. youngsters for a few years, before Autumn passed.
Not answering any "should or shouldn't" question, just offering how it went for mine.
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u/No-Consideration-858 5h ago
Just get through the next steps. If you have at home euthanasia available, that's usually the more peaceful way to go.
See how Mumford does in the coming weeks and decide from there. With one of my cats, she was happy to finally have all of the attention (her sibling was dominant for 17 years). With another, she grieved deeply and I regret not getting her a companion sooner.
My heart goes out to you
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u/findmeunderwater 5h ago
Our senior lost her best friend (and my heart cat) in April. We got two kittens, since the kitten we got a year previous was being a butt to our remaining senior. That’s taken all the “I must play” demands away from our senior. She’s not bonded to any of them, but she’s entertained. And the one who looks like her lost friend keeps trying to gently play with her and snuggle with the both of us. I’m hoping she worms her way into the senior’s heart.
I’ve also made a point at bringing my senior up to bed with us every night. She has arthritis, so the stairs are harder for her, and our other kitty was the main nighttime snuggler, so she didn’t really come up before. I’ve made it clear that she’s wanted, and she is so happy to get her cuddles at night. She purrs really loud every night when I bring her up, and it’s really brightened her mood.
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u/findmeunderwater 5h ago
I should add that we did at home, and let our senior say goodbye. It really helped her. If it’s a possibility for your family, i recommend it.
If you hold your kitty while saying goodbye, make sure to hold tight. The first needle hurts and they can jump away. But it only hurt for a second and I am happy I was able to be there for her.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s really hard.
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u/DriftwoodDreamer14 8h ago
Best thing I did was give my Lovebug (14 at the time) a few months to adjust after his 2 brothers died within a month of each other then got him 2 kittens. We got 2 so they could get their kitten energy out with each other and not annoy Lovebug. But Lovebug was thrilled to play with them and have company again.