I’m so confused

[u/ContributionThat4698]

I feel like I’m faking. I think I’m an attention seeker. I go through periods of happiness and sadness but they don’t feel real? I don’t know. I feel like I’m faking being sad for attention but when I think about it I don’t really tell anyone anymore so how I can’t be attention seeking. Same thing with cutting myself. I used to show people I don’t know why, maybe for as a cry of help idk. But now I don’t show anyone, it’s my old act no one cares anymore . So I can’t be attention seeking. Also sometimes I’m happy but still want to die. And sometimes when I’m in a “happy period” i don’t believe I was sad, like how could I be. Then sometimes in a “sad period” I don’t ever think I was happy. Sometimes the weight of loneliness crushes in on me and then sometimes I’m fine with it.
I feel like I’m faking for attention but no mentally well person cuts themselves but I still think I’m faking. Do I just want a label? I’m so confused

[u/Fabulous_Light5449]

I believe you were asking for attention at first. When you became used to cutting the attention seeking went away and the compulsion to repetitive self harm took hold.

A majority of people have a mental illness of one form or another.

This leads to car wrecks and cirrhosis of the liver, messed up lungs and lung cancer plus a whole bunch of other self and social abuses.

Mood swings are messed up but are not uncommon.

The feeling of faking or not being yourself is also bordering normal, if not normal.

Some of us change our habits. Many of us change who we live with, our jobs and/or hang out with. Self harm people can get into therapy, try medication and/or use a variety of distractions.

For attention seekers, helping others is the best. We get positive strokes instead of the pity and concern we became accustomed to.

Us mentally challenged individuals think about ourselves way too much.

I now have a new life filled with hope and community. I feel strong and aware instead of helpless and depressed.