Need some help on mobile phone security

[u/Old_ManWithAComputer]

I will try to be a short as possible. My daughter, 25, lives with her husband about 7 1/2 hours from us. All of our Apple devices are basically connected through the same Apple account. There is a woman about 2 to 3 years younger than my daughter that is INFATUATED with her. The other night my wife and I were sitting watching TV and my wife's Ipad lit up. It said that the girl in question would be notified when my daughter left her apartment complex. I got upset but wife said to keep my mouth shut as she did not want my daughter to know we see some of her messages and also some of her calls. Some not all. My question is how can I go about getting the tracker off her phone, if that is possible? Can I call Verizon and see if they have the ability to block it or remove it? My daughter told her mom just this weekend that this other girl scares her because she is overly possessive and infatuated with her and just plain comes out and makes her feel very uncomfortable. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I worked in IT and IT security and retired 11 years ago so I am really not up on phone security. Thanks

[u/HHH___]

1. your daughter needs her own Apple account
2. she can just stop sharing her location with this person

It’s pretty fucking weird that you and your wife are getting messages and calls intended for your 25 year old daughter.

[u/glitch1985 → u/HHH___]

And are hiding that fact from her as well.

[u/Solkre → u/HHH___]

Not just weird, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal now. The daughter is an adult because they’re doing it with subterfuge.

[u/jaguarshark]

You dont want her to know you can spy on her because she will see it as inappropriate, controlling, and a betrayal of trust. So then you want to secretly change settings of her device. Sounds like your gut is right, she will rightfully feel that way. If you pay her phone bill and that is a condition of the support, that is fair but she should be aware of those terms. That would resolve the betrayal.

Criticisms aside, she needs to be filled in on what the girl did for her own safety, and to give her a chance to evaluate how to handle the situation. Help your 25 year old learn to be an adult and be aware. This girl probably borrowed her phone and granted the location sharing.

Technical aspect- she can boot people from location sharing and also if she wants her own account for privacy, she could choose to share her location with you for safety.

Not trying to be harsh, just outside perspective from a son and father who has navigated both sides of this.

[u/UIUC_grad_dude1]

Everyone should have their choice own Apple account. Having a shared Apple account is a real risk.

[u/IntrinsicSecurity → u/UIUC_grad_dude1]

It’s also a violation of the account terms. It can in theory result in the account being terminated permanently, and without warning.

[u/bi_polar2bear]

One account per person with Multi Factor Authentication (MFA), turn off location services, and disable sharing. These are basic security things all users should do. Otherwise, you might as well give everyone your personal information.

Plus, it's highly disturbing you are tracking your married daughter.

[u/Old_ManWithAComputer → u/bi_polar2bear]

As I said in another post my daughter and wife track each other and my daughter set it all up on their devices and no, it is not me as I have an android phone.

[u/LongRangeSavage → u/Old_ManWithAComputer]

If they want to see each other’s location, they can do so—even with separate accounts.

[u/Boxofcookies1001]

Lmao you're doing the same thing to your daughter that the stalker is doing.

Get your own apple account.

Link all your accounts via a family. Let your daughter have her own freedom and choices. She 25.

[u/Old_ManWithAComputer → u/Boxofcookies1001]

Actually no she put it on her mom's phone not mine as I have an android. Again SHE put the location sharing on her mother's phone.

[u/Healthy-Mission7927]

Can i see all your messages? No? You shouldnt spy your kids. You might lose her trust if she finds out. Tell her the truth and she should get her own account

[u/Old_ManWithAComputer → u/Healthy-Mission7927]

She, my daughter, knows all about it. She is the one who set who set up my wife's phone and Ipad. I have an android phone so I can't see anything they see.

[u/Healthy-Mission7927 → u/Old_ManWithAComputer]

Yes but you can see some of her messages without her knowing it and you are choosing to hide/lie to her (yea not telling is same as lying). Thats not ok

[u/BigAbbott]

???????? you ARE the infatuated stalker

[u/SoupEnthusiasm]

sounds like find my is being shared across devices, have u checked the family sharing settings or the find my app to see exactly which devices are broadcasting location permissions to each other?