It's reusable too

•

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1.9k

u/realMBeezy 1d ago

Now I would kind of understand if it said "Optimized by AI", but how the fuck would you optimize a condom FOR AI?

1.3k

u/Schlonzig 1d ago

Optimized for anal intercourse.

409

u/realMBeezy 1d ago

That would honestly be some very funny fine print

105

u/knowledgeable_diablo 1d ago

Extra traction for “mud play”?

29

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 1d ago

Ribbed for traction...

16

u/Minute-Report6511 1d ago

so does that just mean it hardly works?

5

u/Sproxify 20h ago

it's supposed to work hard

4

u/-Weslie 1d ago

is it hardly working

5

u/isitatomic 1d ago

is that... not what it's supposed to mean??

86

u/Xygnux 1d ago

It's for when AI eventually screws us all but it doesn't want to catch viruses from us dirty dirty humans.

24

u/Richard_Cain 1d ago

Oh you bad robot you...want me to give you more cookies...?

28

u/VitruvianVan 1d ago

Haven’t you seen Demolition Man?

Edit: I just realized that movie came out in 1993, when I was a kid, so maybe not.

11

u/LemonPepper 1d ago

Definitely don’t know how to use the three shells.

5

u/__wildwing__ 1d ago

Every restaurant is a Taco Bell.

11

u/Kuitar 1d ago

This is actually what the french text under says, so it's probably just a translation error.

7

u/meetmysword 1d ago

It's an extra-thick condom to make sure that AI-bros and people who are dumb enough to buy AI condoms don't reproduce

2

u/Ska82 1d ago

basically u put it around the air gapped server u want to protect from ai and since the condom absorbs some heat, the heat signature emitted by server will be different from what the receiving device gets. so the ai trying to hack the air gapped server gets confused.

1

u/Alices_Hubby_Kleiner 1d ago

It's for use with AI girlfriend, duh.

1

u/SmegmaSlurper1996 1d ago

it's optimize so you'll never have to use it

1

u/Consequence-Lumpy 1d ago

it's for when one AI android needs to penetrate another AI android. Like when you combine Detroit Become Human and American Pie.

478

u/Herb-Anderson 1d ago edited 1d ago

It’s optimized for persons whose nickname is AL.

149

u/nub_node 1d ago

They do say one size fits Al.

46

u/RapsterZeber 1d ago

Condoms, huh?

That protects.

9

u/Herb-Anderson 1d ago

Nice reference

3

u/Strong_Butterfly7924 1d ago

Finally, a condom made just for me. Does it come in small? I mean average?

2

u/Lonesaturn61 1d ago

To use with the gap year gf

3

u/Shlafenflarst 1d ago

That's weird...

1

u/fidesz_fall_enjoyer 1d ago

Al Bundy

1

u/mjsugod 1d ago

It's weird how specific that is

330

u/TheVebis 1d ago

It's for when your AI girlfriend comes over

123

u/Pataraxia 1d ago

Imagine you're shagging a robot girl and she suddenly hallucinates safetymaxxed rules and goes "I'm sorry, I'm unable to fulfill this request as it goes against my safety guidelines or policy limits." and her clinky snaps shut.

65

u/Twist_man 1d ago

clang clang clang clang clang beartrap closing sound effect YEEOUCH

12

u/Pataraxia 1d ago

On god WE all keep reposting this one because we find it kinda kinky.

1

u/atempestdextre 1d ago

ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

24

u/7CuriousCats 1d ago

/r/BrandNewSentence

6

u/scaled2913 1d ago

We're truly witnessing history here

6

u/gso480 1d ago

“Clinky” in this context definitely deserves a spot in our modern lexicon

137

u/zaratino_vero 1d ago

Maybe AI means Anal Intercourse?

102

u/StereoWings7 1d ago

TBH It's understandable not having kids might be a lifestyle optimized for the incoming AI era to prevent your hypothetical kids from being replaced by AI workforce and suffering from unemployment.

21

u/Korben_Joseph 1d ago

That's the good outcome! The bad outcome is competing with transhumanist machines for water, trying to survive lethal temperatures and fighting off hunter killer drones with buckshot

1

u/Adventurous-Wing-988 1d ago

top comment

2

u/scaled2913 1d ago

And suffering from other present horrors, like wars, wildfires and the like.

35

u/Mexetudo 1d ago

Optimized "for" AI ?

Looks at ethernet port

48

u/Mountain-Ad-460 1d ago

Why is it so small?

34

u/knowledgeable_diablo 1d ago

So there’s room for two alphas in one ‘dom.

12

u/Adventurous-Wing-988 1d ago

quite large for tech bros

11

u/EEE3EEElol 1d ago

Fym small

23

u/Main_Cauliflower5479 1d ago

But what is SF?

32

u/punch_rockgroinpull 1d ago

San Francisco. Tech bros speak for everyone up here apparently

14

u/Main_Cauliflower5479 1d ago

Yeah. I wasn't sure if it was some other thing besides that, because people love using initials for everything and expect people to know wtf they're talking about.

12

u/ellie_elysian 1d ago

First came contactless payment, now contactless condoms. We are living in the future.

8

u/Clembert-Hamlamp 1d ago

Al? For everyone? Ah. They must mean FAT Al.

8

u/aristotle93 1d ago

Great! My AI girlfriend will love this! (Said no one)

7

u/D4T45T0RM06 1d ago

Lots of promises, lots of false hope and gaslighting, so it's a condom for alpha males?

7

u/MiguelSalaOp 1d ago

This has to be fake, right?

5

u/No-Efficiency-2440 1d ago

I do not trust an AI Generated Condom.

4

u/TrevCat666 1d ago

It's rubber so you won't electrocute your dick when you fuck your computer.

4

u/RealOzSultan 1d ago

It’s for your B300

4

u/Aromatic_Brother 1d ago

Optimized for ass insertion? Smhhh

4

u/torturekiller2025 1d ago

How, and why, the fuck is that a thing?

4

u/yomommahasfleas 1d ago

Science fiction? San francisco? Some fuck?

2

u/tejanaqkilica 18h ago

Salesforce I guess.

1

u/pomoerotic 9h ago

Smelly Fingers

1

u/TheCoollestGuy 7h ago

San FranDISCO

1

u/Catsaint 6h ago

Sharp Fortitude?

3

u/Shiningc00 1d ago

Artificial intercourse

3

u/Xygnux 1d ago

Ah, so what I have been doing throughout my single years?

3

u/Total-Recording-2707 1d ago

Since when did sangvis ferri make those???

2

u/SpartanH089 1d ago

I don't have a hog by any scale measurement but why is that so small?

2

u/HowTheyGetcha 1d ago

What is the rare insult?

2

u/fantasmeeno 1d ago

Does it comes in usb format?

2

u/SplattyFatty_ 10h ago

sinn féin makes condoms?

1

u/DisturbedCherrytree 1d ago

It‘s very effective: I see this thing and flee - best Perl index ever!

1

u/Nemesis233 1d ago

The French translation gotta be AI too lmao

1

u/XKruXurKX 1d ago

Is this product only useful to bang robots?

1

u/Aaowyn 1d ago

optimized for allen iverson

1

u/Evening-Deer-4033 1d ago

Just wear white socks with sandals

1

u/Vast_Ad6372 1d ago

in the future condoms will prob be digital somehow

1

u/Winged_Metal 1d ago

Wait, what if it actually means you use it on the AI?

1

u/cypeo 1d ago

Artificial Insemination?

1

u/_Fun_Employed_ 1d ago

For some reason it reminds me of Diamond Age…

1

u/Ok-Gene-1757 21h ago

It’s so effective you’ll never have to use it!

1

u/bogdanbos725 15h ago

This the shit you got to use for that grok skin

1

u/_frank_tank 9h ago

Yeah, and like AI, most users need tokens to actually use it.

1

u/ApexRevanNL716 1d ago

At least it's not vegan

0

u/keeber69 1d ago

The robots slid on it before wrapping it up

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