A town in medieval Italy had a spring that the town had grown up around. The spring had medicinal properties and the villagers built a stone lined pool to collect the spring water. After many years the town fathers decided that, although the spring attracted many visitors, they needed a new fountain and larger pool to show off their medicinal spring. They hired a noted sculptor/fountain designer to design and construct their new fountain. He accepted, and he designed a fountain that met the town fathers approved. The town fathers instructed him to construct it behind canvas covered scaffolding because they wanted their villagers to be as impressed with it as much as visitors would when it was unveiled. The sculptor worked with his crew behind the scaffolding for several months, maintaining the secrecy the town fathers requested.

The night before the unveiling, the town drunk was staggering through the town center, tripped, fell, and rolled under the scaffolding. He climbed to his feet, but, astonished by the beauty of the new fountain, staggered backwards into the scaffolding, rebounded to the fountain, fell over the outside wall and fell into the pool. His drink bottle fell out into the pool and shattered, spilling his licquer into the pool. Very soon the water got colder and the drunk scampered out of the pool and turned to look. Very soon he saw the spraying water and pool froze over, which, as you might expect, surprised him. The night watchman, having heard the commotion at the new fountain, came around the scaffolding, saw the drunk and the frozen fountain. The drunk turned to him and said "Absinthe makes the font grow harder".

I lost that round. I didn't do well!

at the crowbar.

You can't throw a handful of sodium chloride towards a police officer, that‘s a salt!

Just a few illustrations I made and I've plenty more if people are interested 🙂

Can anyone guess these?

Love live the pun

My friend entered me into a chili competition and I have to come up with a name for it. It doesn’t have to be a creative funny name, but the sign up sheet says it’s encouraged lol

I work in a warehouse and have been naming the tape dispensers with permanent marker in order to help keep track of them.

So far I have:

• Sticky Martin
• Taper Swift
• Sello Green

I’m trying to avoid repeating puns (like Sticky Gervais or Stick James), but I’m starting to draw blanks.

Musician puns highly regarded but not necessary.

Any and all suggestions greatly appreciated.

The moth-wife would constantly proclaim her innocence, pestering the investigator day and night. The investigator was at his wit's end.

Eventually, the investigator found the moth-husband's suicide note, which explained that he killed himself because his moth-wife was always nagging him about everything.

"Can we trust that this is his actual suicide note?" asked the investigator's supervisor.

The investigator replied: "I can believe it. I can certainly empathize with the moth-husband."

"How do you mean?" asked the supervisor.

The investigator says: "The lady moth protest too much, methinks."