Just to get it out of my chest

[u/Frosty-Raisin-5017]

Guys I don’t know why but when I watch podcasts about gambling and how bad it actually is , I always relapse . For me gambling means all or nothing. This year I’m extremely unlucky , my account always hits zero , I don’t have loans or borrowed money . Today I lost my last 200€ on my account , borrowed 50€ from my dad lost that too . But I have peace of mind unlike other times .Right now I have an urge to push some high stakes rulette , which I’m not familiar playing like this crazy , but something inside me wants to take some family savings and play some extremely high stake rulette . My father has an account with 30k and I know he has 10k cash in a hide place . Till this day my parents know that i play some gambling , but they don’t know if I lose much or no . I always mask it , like living like I’m in the verge of bankruptcy ( I eat yogurts that are due , I eat 3 breads of toast , and i take the bus for transportation and I have I car -> no money for gas ) . The crazy staff is that I’m familiar with it . I spend some money to myself but the most I spend to gambling . I chill with my fiends in parks like I’m a fkn teenager . No girlfriend . Nice life lol . The only good thing that I’m never willing to be in debt and get loan .(BUT IF I HAD THE FAMILY SAVINGS, I would lose all of them , that fkn scares me ). . I’m 28 and I live like a teenager , it’s not that if I didn’t gamble right now , I would be in a better place . My income is extremely low , that’s why I need to gamble ( irony is it’s get even lower with some ups and then to zero ) . Maybe I do it because I can always eat here in my family house , I don’t know . I just wanted to say some stuff about my life , does anyone relate ? Thanks for reading . May god bless us with accepting things we can’t control and be more ok with ourselves , because I believe gambling start with unsolved trauma and after becomes an addiction .

[u/adityag13]

What unsolved Trauma do you have? You're literally talking about stealing from your family to feed your addiction? That's not Trauma, that's Psychotic at best, Felony at worst.

Try and focus on skills to get your education and learning up to earn more. Take a loan from your dad if you need to and do some certifications which will help you get a better paying job. You're still at a good age, after 35 the ability to learn goes rapidly downhill.

And take up side gigs in your spare time instead of living in the park like a teenager with your friends.

Try to find alternative solutions rather than fixating on your problem and trying to find ways to feed your addiction.

[u/NotVanillaSoyLatte]

I had thing "I would never do" buy later did them. I got great at thrift shopping and spent all my extra cash on gambling. It is progressive - it gets worse. You will eventually get land and in debt if you don't stop. Everybody on here gets it.... get help now and enjoy the rest of your young life!!

[u/TemporaryCode6264]

Tell your family know that you had thoughts of stealing their money so they can hide it better from you or take precautions, or you will feel the actual shame in the weight of that discussion anymore you won't want to have such a mindset anymore

[u/ken-kilos]

Although I haven't touched slots since Aug 30th (thanks higher power), I relate. As someone who used to be a slots fiend, I can only advise you three things:

1. Really try to join an in-person Gambler's Anonymous group, like today! Gambling, like any other addiction, thrives in the dark. It convinces you that you're an outcast and that your suffering/problems are unique but that's far from the truth. There are millions of people going through what you are experiencing and they could benefit from you joining the fight. Make sure to work Steps 1 - 3 diligently once you start.
2. Self-exclude from everything, including the crypto sportsbooks. For those ones, open a chat and just have a message you can copy and paste saying that you are an addict and they should close your account. Also, say that if they do not comply in the next couple of hours, you will pursue legal action (this usually does the trick). Cut yourself off from the source.
3. Saved the most important one for last given your current situation; You might need to hit rock bottom (possibly multiple times) before you finally quit. This is very hard to accept but I find that truly accepting this makes it more urgent for the addict to try to quit before that happens. Addiction is really a case of "You can lead a camel to the river but you can't force it to drink". You have to WANT sobriety will every fibre in your being. You have to make that choice.

Sending you best wishes as we continue to stumble towards sobriety. 🙏