Obviously any evidence of this would be anecdotal, as studies like this would not get funding. But can strattera get in the way of internal communication?

I'm currently on max dose, and have been for 5+ years. It has not zombified me. It has made my ADHD more manageable. (I think? It's hard to remember what my mental state was like that far back, and there are a lot of other factors that may have influenced my executive function since).

But could it be getting in the way of internal communication?

So i had this group of imaginary friends and use my own voice to talk as them at times and this particular group i had since 2007

Based on this blog i wrote at the start of this year

Would what I got count under the plural umbrella???

Or just imaginary friends/tulpas

Hello,, am aeris

I wanna know if anyone has went through an experience similar to mine and if there anything I can do to lessen the pain..

For quick context I have a really bad case of imposter syndrome

For as far as I can remember I didn't have a childhood most my memories of that time r completely locked away and no matter what I do I can't remember shit about it except few snippits of extreme abuse that if I try digging into more Ig I blackout? From what I understood from people around me is that I get a really violent breakdown then proceed to act like everything is ok which usually aligns with when am usually back in control it? At I think 2022 (dates r very hard for me qwp) a pedo has started grooming me, abusing and extorting me sexually again for about 4 years and again I only remember snippets of that time and all of them r just extremely painful to think about.. by the end of those 4 years my current partner has helped get rid of this groomer and give me a safe space for the first time in my life again I barely remember what happened at that time only think ik is that I told everyone that the pedo is well a pedo

Now to introduce someone else I met someone with did let's call him max. Max was also a very bad groomer and in general a shitty friend who would abuse all his friends for some kind of benefit and even have seen me being abused and tortured by the pedo but chose to do nothing even when he saw sexual stuff happening outright. Few months after the pedo was booted away from me I learnt that max has did and started researching into it out of curiosity and it's when I realized for the first time I also have it since all the things I was suffering from aligned perfectly with it and I slowly started finally talking to the other alters I had and well they were all either in extreme pain or coping with life really badly. I got to know them, their names, their hobbies and was finally feeling like am living for once but while all that was happening I had this insane voice that would constantly scream into my ears that am faking it for attention and am just doing all that for attention that I didn't go through shit to get did and etc (am summarizing here a month I think?)

This all didn't last for long as max when he noticed all of this (switches on who is fronting became common which my partner also had noticed) and proceeded to come and tell me that nope I don't have did or anything I am just mislead and trying to cope with life by copying what I read in books (I don't remember how this entire thing even happened I just know that he said that but what lead up to this or if I said anything I genuinely have no clue)

Well after this was said I lost all connection to my alters the voice that was telling me am faking it started screaming so hard at me causing me many many many breakdowns and just what it feels like abusing the hell out of me using anything to be able to cause me more pain.. from that point I again don't really remember much afterwards other than few highlights like that I moved out to live with my partner and to escape the hell that was my parents. I went to therapy and by the second session got diagnosed with cptsd and in the following sessions the therapist had suspected I had some kind of dissociative disorder but we sadly couldn't explore it more since I ran out of money and couldn't continue attending therapy. I remember that I went through multiple psychotic episodes that would last for months and was getting extremely intense suicidal thoughts, self harm wants and just doing anything that can harm me including (am a transwoman and have been on her for 2 years at that point) following what the voice in my head wanted which was to detransition to cause me even more pain... (I come from an extremely religious family like extremist fucks who think mass murder genocide and everything is ok to happen if it would mean spreading religion more and if they found out I was trans they would have killed me...)

all of that is happening and my partner has reported to me multiple times that I wasn't fronting but everytime she would tell me that I would completely deny it and the voice in my mind would eat me alive saying that am faking it...

Fast-forward to last week I finally started accepting the fact I might have did and even managed to talk to an alter for the first time in I think a year and a half or two years now even my partner had reported to me that this new alter fronted before and they seem to be from the time I was still being abused from the pedo and the voice came back yesterday while I was outside and started abusing me again driving me to a point of insanity where I couldn't tell what's real and what's not (now thinking about it while writing this I remember many times throughout the past 2 year having days where I would feel like am not real like am dreaming and not existing)

What do I do? Therapy isn't on the table and won't be on the table for a while since I got fired from my job for being autistic. Am I just faking this entire thing? Am I actually real?? I genuinely need help please any guidance would be amazing...

Hi! I'm Anthony, the host. I go by They/She/He pronouns in that order (genderfluid). My 11 (so far) alters are:

Kaleb (He/Him)

Kris (He/They)

Fletcher (ze/zim)

ACEy (They/He)

ten'ten (It/its)

Jaide (She/He)

Atlas (He/Nix)

Lyle-Rio (Star/Starself)

Winter (She/They)

Finnick (They/Them) [Finnick itself and their pronouns are both placeholders because their not able to answer about their own gender pronouns and name.]

I'm not going to out any of their genders, but, here's a run-down on who everyone is. Kaleb was the first alter to form. He's colourblind, like a lot of us, and really likes history. Overall he's pretty well-rounded. He also has BPD, borderline personality disorder. He's sorta a lot to handle as he has many mood swings, and is sensitive (don't tell him I said that (this is a joke)). Kris is a bit more serious than Kaleb. He really likes Deltarune. It's where he got his name from. When he first split, it was almost the first media he ran into. He likes children's music despite being very dark, and is colourblind in a different way than Kaleb. Fletcher is the life of the party, ze loves people and attention. Ze also has a colour problem, but it's because ze gets bad headaches because colours appear very bright to zim. ACEy is our local anime boy. He's making a magical girl dating simulator. Need I saw more? ten'ten is helping with the dating simulator, and really likes vocaloid. It's very quiet and we had to practice speaking together. Overall their voice sounds very different than the rest of us. Jaide loves TF2, gambling, drinking, etc. Comrade is their favourite word. Comrade K.K. is (for some reason) their favourite song. Atlas's signature phrase is 'spin spin spin, tap tap tap' followed by some sort of rhyme. He likes polka. Lyle-Rio likes to draw, and play tomodachi life, and watch shows. Star wants to dye Terry's hair ginger/red. It's star's favourite colour. Winter is colourblind as well. She's very quiet, and doesn't speak at all to my parents. She recently learned that not all people are horrible and that my friends aren't that bad. I introduced Finnick in a different post. Therefore, farewell! If you have any questions I'll answer them.

I don't really know what to do about my new alter (host, Anthony here). They can't speak normal sentences (they speak in vocal stims), so they can't name themselves or choose their pronouns. I'm using Finnick for now, and it may just end up being their name. As far as I've seen they can't read or write either (at least not well). I just don't know what to do, we're pretty organized altogether and can pass really well as just a normal human being, unless one of the really quiet Terries comes out, like ten'ten, or Winter, but if Finnick is dyslexic (I can't really tell), I just don't know what to do. New alters always come with stress too and we've been forgetting things even more often now. Does anyone else have an alter who speaks only using vocal stims/mocking(copying) other people's words? What should I do about this?

Another thing I've been noticing is that we get more talkative as we're out more. Fletcher used to be a really shy talker and is now one of the most talkative of us all. Winter used to be completely silent but started opening up a bit as she realized not everyone is mean. ten'ten started talking more after I practiced with them, etc. I wonder if Finnick will be like that too, but for now, oh well. Advice would really help!

A current theory of our states this is what might have happened to our original host. It’s also possible they l get just be hiding, though, we don’t know.

Hypothetically, could an alter forms as a fictive, but then kin somone so much they become more kin than fictive? I'm so confused with my identity, i thought i was a fictive but now i feel so much like a diferent character i'm no longer sure the character i thought i was is my source. Plus, can you kin somone from a source you've never interacted with? I'm so confused

- Margaretta

day 1 & day 2 plus a minicomic adam made for day 1

day 1: lopee. from pressure. and he IS the thing. we talk about him and he just spawns in
( ft. adam [yellow, he/they] and beacon [gray, they/she])

day 2: daze. our main anger holder. he uses he/it/any
( ft. willow [lighter green, she/they] and nepri/unpleasant [saturated green, any/all]

~ daydreamer ☀️✨ (she/they/it/he)

this question is very weird but please bear with me

i have been blocked from fronting for a very long time, and it led to me becoming really disconnected from myself

i also feel lost when it comes to... things normal humans do... i don't know where to start to understand what i like, how i express myself, who to speak with and so on

and i don't think the rest of the system will be helpful because i am not the only one

- baja blast

Hiii I was wondering if your headmates go quieter when you are like actively socializing because at school I've been feeling more like a single person and it's been kinda scaring me. In general my system is going through a quiet phase but it feels extra when I'm totally occupied with smth or talking to people. Is that a thing for y'all?

There are 6 crewmates but one is in use atm. The five shown are; Lambert, Sammy, Smolder, Snowball, Kat Kid.

-Bermuda

lowkey understandable ig??? Didn’t see the rules said no trauma dumping

I deeply desire integration. I'm tired of being a system. I find it absolutely miserable. We have terrible communication. I'm trying to convince everyone to agree to one color palette. They can have their own styles, do it in their own way. Express themselves however they want, but using one color, I'm hoping this will get us closer to integration. I'm going to pitch it to my therapist, but even though this conversation is causing a lot of disassociation and stress, but some of us are on board and even like the idea of it this disorder is so hard and so isolating I just want to sense of realness of identity. To be clear the conversation is indeed causing stress but I was already highly stressed out before I had this idea and at least it's some direction to go in instead of having no clue what I'm doing.

Our host is explicitly straight only as a result of his trauma. And demi. And wants gentle love. I'm gay, fine with hookups, and want more on the rougher side. I want to respect his boundaries, as well as the threat of fulfilling my fantasies possibly triggering him, but I feel so unfulfilled all the time and nothing helps and I feel like it never will until I get what I want, which will never happen at this rate.

I'm thinking of finding someone that understands that we're a system, that only I want this, and to start off gentle just in case. I'm willing to look for someone fine with all that stuff, but I'm not even sure where to start. Given he's demi, we don't have any experience just looking for some casual fun, much less with a man since he's straight.

I also worry of ruining his self-worth/worth to other potential partners for him, not that I believe in that sort of thing, and not that whoever he ends up with either, but after what he went through, and his religion, it matters a lot to him, and I don't want to degrade him by having my own fun. This of course doesn't apply to anyone else here, so no offense, I mean look at what I'm posting for God's sake.

As much as I want it, I've decided on no penetration no matter what as that could lead to a std/sti that'll affect the body and not just for a short while either. He's reluctantly given permission given I start off gentle to test the waters and don't get too wild and no penetration himself too, which is fine.

This is my first time posting, it's an alt because of his whole "self-worth/worth others put on him" thing but also one we might use for us alters in general. I know it's quite a weird start, but I could really use some advice on how to handle this and what to do about these wants that I have that could potentially harm him.

-Stolas

hii it's us again! Wanted to share something funny

Recently we created two OCs and writting a story for them, but as we were writting we realized that the story is kinda metaphorical on trauma processing and system discovery(at least simmiliar to our expirience). It made us think about how deeply our self and our art is connected to our plurality

So question: Did you ever created story / litteraly abything and mid way of creating realized that this is kind of accidental representation?

I made bracelets for all my frequent fronters and when they front they put on their bracelet as a representation of who they are without having to change how the body is

It can also be helpful if you want a friend or partner to know who's fronting

My alters really liked when I made bracelets for them even if some of them don't like me in particular haha

I got the idea from an older pixielocks video

We have pets and love them dearly, but we each seem to have a different flavour of appreciation for them. Do others experience this? And if so, how and to what extent?

Elaborating, I (Host) love my goobers to bits and they're incredibly dear to me. Trout sees them more through a practical fascination standpoint as well as something to be Managed (because he's the Manager and everything is His Job). Salmon thinks they're gross but like in a semi playful way (not that he'd admit), he scrunches his nose at them and claims they're inadequate to his grandiosity while also cooing at them. Cod seems mostly indifferent but he's also the most distant from the front so doesn't really interact or think about them much, he's more focused on inner stuff. Fishlet is obsessed with them and it would stare at them in absolute awe and wonder for hours I think.

Just something that came to mind while we were observing them together and wanted to ask if others have similar experiences!

-🐟

so far we've just...

"eh we dunno, quoigenic ig?"

but ((SOME)) of us want to figure it out

and it kinda bugs us not knowing

so

-Fedir

okay to start this off, i mean none of this in bad faith i am just confused/concerned about my experiences (as ^ stated) . and i would like to resolve this one way or another. scared about even posting here but i'd like to get this out somewhere so

so for a while, i've been ... interested? in plurality and just. the concept, how it works, what it'd be like, you know? at first I thought it was just my average nonfiction hyperfixation phase, but it's been off and on, returned a few times and recently for about the last month. i've started thinking about it again

and like. i've seen it said that "wanting to be plural can be a symptom of being plural" and like. yeah. i've been experiencing that and convincing myself it's just 'interest' and recently, failing.

i've felt so conflicted over this over the last few weeks because i keep circling back to a few objections:

- this Cannot be morally right to want to have something like this <- I know the various rebuttals against this, it's just an Internal Feeling i can't shake no matter the facts

- I am a grown adult with studying and work to worry about, why am i wasting my energy on this <- I Don't Know Why.... Trying to figure this one out....

- the Good Old Fashioned impostor syndrome

^ This last one i've had experience with back when i realized i was trans- practically a month or two of agonizing feelings of faking it and being a fraud and so on, despite not being able to stop thinking about it- much like the experience i am currently having.... but i keep thinking, transness isn't like plurality like that, right? it's not like you can sit up one day after thinking and say Yes i identify as trans now.... there has to be like. an actual process/experience to be had... for evidence... i don't know how to word it </3

in fact i THINK i've wanted it to the point where i really deconstructed what i was experiencing (there's... some evidence, not sure how much is reliable) , and identified (?) a few others and kind of. acted like they existed. and on some level it felt right, internally, but i also felt bad because i felt like i was just pretending (..... Pretty much exactly how i felt when i first started transitioning...) but....... i don't know i think i've convinced myself that i'm forcing it (again. a familiar feeling) and that i'm just.... reading too much into everything.

because a majority of the time i still feel like i'm me (despite not being able to define that, not having a continuous sense of identity, and not remembering anything of my past ever) and that like. it's only a thing if i think about it- which would indicate i'm faking it, right- Except, to notice it, I have to think about it.... and it just goes in a cycle....

a lot of other things have occurred in these past few weeks that have pushed me either to believing 'yes, something is going on', but also a lot of instances of just. feeling like an imposter and feeling like i need to. get past all this. because it's weird to think about but i can't exactly drop it for some reason.

ending this rant here before i go too deep into things... again.... if you read all this, thank you so much, and if anyone has any tips or comments or anything i'd welcome it.... sorry if this was a bit rambling

Do you can talk to them in your head? Have conversations? Or you use a other way for communication? If yes, what is it?

like i love hhe big servers but like. i dont really know people there and its hard to talk to them. i wish we were in more small tight nit communities idk. i wish more people would reapond when we vented on the servers we're in. idk

-anon

(Yes, literally unique situation, maybe, we don't know yet)

So, I've been wondering this because we took time to myself to think, to reflect, to literally wonder if this is for real, and somehow, it is, this because we love them and we wish to make many thing with that character we create! The problem? They are similar to us.. 😭

Well, we don't share things like being neutrally deranged 24/7, being crazy or don't care about humanity if it means enjoying battles or just making chaos around, and many others like our names (actually, the only thing we share with them is similar looks), which make it different, but we still feel weird by finding this out, I mean, is fun to do it even if we are lovers irl for how much they meant to us and still do, but still, it's weird a bit, y'know?

Anyway, do you guys have this experience? Because I am really curious to read them and maybe see if we are not alone in this, and I hope we clarified anything well!

this vent is not directed at any collective or account in specific, simply a trend we've noticed in this sub that we feel is harmful.

we are a heavily persecutory system. while we have non-persecutory alters, most of our frontrunners are, in their own ways, harmful to the system or others. we keep ourselves in check when we can, but as many of you may know, that doesn't always work.

now, as i've stated before, this is not a targeted post. however, every single time we look at this subreddit and sort by newest - without fail - we see one or two posts asking for means to kill their members. most of the time, we notice this is due to persecutory behavior, but that isn't always the case.

while we understand that persecutory alters can often be a product of trauma and may be abusive to collective members or those outside the collective as a result, i feel that that isn't a reason to kill them. i don't care how "evil" or "intolerable" or "unwanted" that alter might be, they are a person now, with their own habits, preferences, thoughts, feelings, reasoning, wants and needs, and everything else that every other member is.

i will not say it's wrong to say you wish they were dormant or gone, to want them dormant or gone, or to wish they never existed at all, as thats a violation of each individual's right to express themselves. however, it is proven to be incredibly harmful to actually force an alter into dormancy or "kill" them. suppressing your alters, no matter how "bad" they are, is a fucking terrible thing to do to someone.

there are so, so many ways to go about living with a persecutory alter that don't include killing. therapy, education, all most collectives really need is to fucking communicate with each other. there's millions of ways to do it, and every collective will have their own method, but nobody needs to die. we aren't criminals, we aren't lesser because of our habits, we aren't meaningless. we exist for a reason and we're people. we're people, trying to live with trauma just like the rest of everyone else in the world.

i understand that everyone has their own experiences with persecutory behavior and that some beings may hold trauma from that kind of abuse. i understand that not everyone will agree with me. however, from a persecutory point of view - all we see is inconsiderate, self-absorbed bloodshed. it needs to stop.

-ghost (frontrunner, perpetrator + he/it)

For the past year-ish(?), I’ve been pretty interested in plurality and systems and I’ve started questioning myself. However, I don’t know if the symptoms I’m experiencing could a dissociative identity disorder or just BPD symptoms.

I was diagnosed with BPD in February of this year after suspecting it since April of 2025. I have experienced splitting with my BPD and I also struggle with my sense of identity, which I assume are only parts of my BPD.

However, I’m starting to question if my BPD may also be mixed with plurality, and I’ve been wondering about it for a few months now. I don’t believe I’ve experienced what most people would call a switch, but there have been times where I have forgotten parts of my day and have forgotten upsetting things that have happened to me until I am reminded of them. I have also had a hard time distinguishing most years from each other, as well as having a hard time remembering things that other people have told me have happened. I have spoken to myself before, but any time I try to actually contact the voices that come up when I’m thinking, I don’t get anything back. It’s hard to distinguish what things could just be my BPD causing identity issues and what could be an identity disorder. I feel like some parts of myself could be considered as alters, but I’m also worried about claiming to be something I’m not and getting backlash for it.
(I also feel like something worth noting is that I do consider myself a fictionkin, which people have told me has been associated with systems before)

I’ve been in denial about possibly having an identity disorder for a while and I still don’t fully believe I could be a system. I don’t feel like my trauma was “bad enough” or valid enough to cause other alters to form. I would like to look into the possibility of plurality though, as I feel like it would be good for me, and many of my symptoms have been spoken about by other systems.

I also don’t know how to go about exploring my potential plurality, as no one has ever told me how. I’m kind of stuck and I need help.