Hello everyone,

I have a 7-year old now. Since the day she was born, I knew that was it for me and I never doubted that decision. Well, until this year. Now that she's 7, I started asking myself for the first time if I was making the right decision.

I suppose because somehow I think if I ever wanted another one it would have to be now or never. She is getting bigger so I wouldnt want a bigger gap. So there's also some sort of grief. Before, it was "I dont want another one" and now it's increasingly becoming "I can't have another one".

Also, my child doesn't have many friends. She gets along with everyone at school, but doesnt have what we'd call a close friend. She has afterschool clubs, like choir, swimming, piano. She doesnt have close friends in any of these classes either.

My parents are visiting now (they dont live in the same country as us) and she plays with them a lot. She started saying things like "when you leave, I'll be alone and noone will play with me because mummy and daddy will be at work" to them. Or even worse, things like "are you old? Are you going to die soon? Will I be alone after that?" It breaks my heart and I feel awful. I feel extremely guilty and selfish for not giving her siblings, which could solve this whole problem.

To be completely honest, I do not want another child. I dont even think I can handle it. I can't physically, emotionally, mentally, financially. But Im scared that this selfish decision Im making is causing pain to my daughter.

The worst thing is my husband actually wants another one. He never pressured me or anything, but I know he always wanted a big family. So the problem is really just me. It makes it harder somehow. And I dont feel that I can talk to him about the way I feel. He wont understand. I have no family I can talk to about this either. They all have told me I should have another one and I would regret not having another one. So they wont understand either.

I dont know what I expect from this post. I just needed to say how I feel maybe. It's been very difficult keeping this for me.

Hello everyone! I'm a 25 year old woman who has decided that when I have a child, I will be OAD. The thing is, ever since I was young, I had issues with low haemoglobin. This doesn't really affect my life in any big way. It just means I can not give blood, and I have less energy than other people. This wasn't really an issue as I have a very supportive family

I am now currently a very happy and well taken care of stay at home fiancée to my amazing partner of nearly four years. He makes enough so that I don't have to work and so the only thing I have to do is manage the housework which is very easy without children. I love it very much but it's still work! I do find myself getting tired often, but that's alright because I just take breaks. However, this is obviously going to change when I have a child.

Even a very well-behaved child requires a superhuman amount of effort to keep alive, and two would drive even the highest energy person insane. So someone like me who struggles with energy would not be able to cope!

I've always been quite a productive person and I'm the type always have a plan of what I will get done and what things etc.

But obviously since having a kid that can all go out the window and it really affects me mentally.

By the end of the day, after work and dinner and bath and bed is done, I feel like I've achieved nothing some days. I genuinely cant get my head around how parents of multiple kids get anything done at all.

I feel the unpredictability affects me alot too. Because I have this path/plan in my head, when things change because of behaviour etc. Then it just triggers me and throws me off. He's only 3.5 so I imagine its just the fact it's still so consuming.

Ive been going therapy and there has been discussion about possible ADHD.

Anyone else similar?

Ive had the snip. Love my son but never again.

My nearly two year old beautiful daughter was having a "big feelings" day today. She was in tears because she didn't get what she wanted, she kicked, slapped and lashed out when something didn't go her way and then needed lots of hugs when she was upset over having her behaviour told off. It was a very difficult day for her and if I had another child I wouldn't be able to be emotionally and physically available for both of them. And I would be a wreck from it all. Thankfully these big feelings pass as quickly as they come and tonight we were all able to cuddle together to read a story and have Milkies. I think I'm a really good Mammy to one but I personally wouldn't be able to manage two.

I am a mom to a joyful, goofy, and deeply loved four-year-old who has my whole heart. At first, I always pictured having two children and thought a three-year gap would be ideal. But between navigating tough pregnancy circumstances, knowing my own physical and mental boundaries, and wanting to pour everything we have into raising him right, we made the conscious choice two years ago to stop at an one-child family.

Lately, though, it feels like everyone in my orbit is expanding their families. Friends, family members, coworkers, and people online are welcoming baby number two or three left and right.

When my sister-in-law announced her second pregnancy a week ago, since then a heavy wave of grief caught me entirely off guard, while I’m happy for her. That quiet ache built into a full-blown, sobbing-in-the-bathroom moment after a glass of wine at dinner. I just sat with it alone and let the tears fall. I am sad because I cannot give him a sibling, not because I ached for another child.

Now I am going to go finish that glass of wine, do my skincare routine, and listen to Norah Jones while I do it, and slip in next to my husband who is oblivious to everything while I hold the cosmic irony of mourning the baby I am not having.

What a luxury it is to finally get a minute to myself, ha !

I am OAD by choice. I am an only child. So are my mom, dad, and two grandparents. All by choice. None of us were lonely without a sibling. None of us ever wished to have siblings. As children, we could all entertain ourselves and were fine being alone, and were comfortable being the lone child in a room full of adults.

Kids are expensive as hell. We never would have been able to take half the trips we went on, or get all the things kids want if we had more than one. Can't even imagine having two in college. And we are all incredibly close. Not that families with multiples aren't close, but it's different when it's just the three of you.

It's okay to just have one. It's pretty great.

Does anyone else feel like they looovvee spending time with their one and only kid and that’s such a cool thing? I’ve an almost 6 year old and despite a full time job and a social life I love playing with her, reading to her and just chatting with her.

I really value the quality of our time together and it’s easy coz there isn’t another child pulling me in a different direction.

Some people I know with multiple kids are constantly irritated and always look so exhausted, but I light up when I’m with my child! Don’t get me wrong, I also need a break sometimes but for the most part I feel like a happier and engaged mom, definitely would not have been the case if we had more!

i come from a large family and have six siblings and always wanted lots of kids of my own . i loved having siblings growing up. i loved having so many siblings and would never want to be an only child. now that all of us are grown and having kids of our own, it’s so magical. i had my first 8 months ago. i had a boy but have always longed for having a daughter. my son has been anything but easy. he is very high needs and also has some medical issue we have been dealing with since he has been born.

the whole postpartum experience has really made me second question having any more. i feel so depressed from dealing with a high needs baby and never get a moment of peace unless hes sleeping or my husband is off of work (im a sahm). the thought of having to go through all of this again with another child on top of all of that makes me want to go get my tubes tied right this second. my husband keeps telling me hopefully our next child won’t be so difficult. but i think thats a very naive way to go into it. i need to go into it thinking it will be just as hard and restless.

my husband wants more, and honestly so do i. i think i will never feel “complete” if i just have one. i will feel bad for my son for never having a sibling. i think i will feel like i should’ve just pushed through these hard years of them being young in order to get to the other side. i dont know. but another part of me knows that i would be disappointed if i had another boy and there is a 50% chance that i will. so i know i need to go into it basically expecting it to 1) be just as hard if not harder and 2) it being another boy.

I (35F) thought I always wanted a big family growing up. I got suckered into thinking more people in the house meant happiness. I would think of how great Christmas would be, having dinner around the table, etc. Unfortunately, real life isn't a Christmas movie.

As I got into my late twenties as a single woman working fulltime, I realized how much I loved alone time. I would have visits with my nephew and be so happy when I got to go home to my cat alone. Then, I met my now husband. We created such a wonderful life full of things we loved. We both advanced in our careers, started to be able to buy the things we wanted, spent free time traveling, hobbies, etc. We bought a home and finally started talking about having a family. We both wanted a child, but didn't know how many. My husband told me it was my choice since I had to go through pregnancy and birth. We both decided to try for one, and we would decide if we wanted to try for more after a year.

I found out I was pregnant in January this year. We were both so happy, but I also immediately started to freak out internally. I saw my beautiful, relaxed life as a thing of the past. Then, pregnancy took over me. While my pregnancy in terms of the health of the baby was great, it was not great for me. I basically lost January-April entirely due to sickness and unrelenting fatigue. I was so, so ill. Cried almost everyday. And I had to work through the misery (thankfully from home). Once I got through April, I started feeling human again, but definitely not normal. I couldn't go on the hikes I so dearly loved as I had a hard time breathing. My back started hurting. I had to combat acid reflux and nausea still every day. I was on several medications to feel functional. Then, I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes and became more miserable with the food restrictions and consuming requirement to check my blood sugar 4 times a day. Once the third trimester hit, I became so physically uncomfortable. I didn't sleep well. The list goes on and on. I decided that pregnancy was an experience I did not want to have to go through again.

I gave birth 5 weeks ago. While everything went well in the end, the experience wasn't great. 43 hour labor, 3.5 hours pushing, second degree vaginal tear. I had a 50 hour sleep debt going into motherhood. My husband and I are so so fortunate to be able to be on leave for several months, but we have zero help. His family is in another country, mine is useless. It's just us.

We LOVE our baby. What a perfect little bean we made. She is the light of our life. BUT, the newborn phase, specifically the sleep deprivation and new role as a milk slave has been absolute hell for me. The postpartum hormone crash is brutal. I cried nearly everyday for the first 3 weeks. My husband and I take sleep shifts, but nothing is ever "fair" for me because I always have to wake up to feed or pump. I know we are in the trenches and this won't last forever, but I cant see how I would ever want to go through this again. I don't know how I would choose to decide to put my body and mind through another pregnancy, go through another postpartum, and another newborn phase. Especially with a toddler and no help or support. I feel like i have esentially given up all of 2026. It was purely survival.

In a perfect world, i would love to have a second. If i didn't have to work, had family support or the finances to hire support, it may have been a possibility. But without those requirements, I don't see how I could be happy. After giving up nearly a year of my life, and start to navigate how to fit my baby into the mix, i can't imagine starting the process over in a year. I miss sleeping, I miss spending time with my husband, I miss my hobbies, I miss having balance in my life. Things will be different with a child, but we can get those things back eventually, and it is so much easier with one.

I don't worry about my baby being lonely. I had two siblings growing up, and they made my life hell. I haven't had anything to do with them in about 10 years. I often wished I was an only child growing up!

I had a dream last night that I had a second kid and I was so mad in it. I was irritated that I couldn’t give all my attention to my first kid. I was making my partner do everything for our second kid because I was just salty and didn’t want to take care of another kid 😅 we are definitely one and done all the way. Just wanted to share my dream somewhere with people who may understand