"Yer spendin' like a Cash Machine.."

#olivertree

Fellas, I really miss Oliver, so today, I thought of getting a bowlcut, can't send a photo due to privacy but I just want you folks to know that it was for him. I've been listening to his music nonstop, it's literally all I listen to and I can't get him out of my head.

I was working a gig & saw this hanging in a dressing room at the Hollywood Palladium. Really wanted to steal it but settled on a photo instead. Wasn’t expecting to see this but it was a bittersweet moment. Poster was obviously rad AF, but the words on the marquee… damn…

I've been hesitant about posting bc this is so personal but I've decided to because of so many posts I've seen lately.

In 2022 I had my second miscarriage. It was devastating. It was the loneliest I've ever felt in my life. I couldn't care for myself, I literally spent all of my energy caring for my preschool daughter and driving her back and forth to school and then I would just lay on the couch and cry. At one point I hadn't showered in days or changed my clothes (gross but it's the truth) and I was just staring at the TV. I would spend so much time clicking through thumbnails for days and barely clicking on anything.

Over that time H3 had a newer Oliver Tree podcast that I hadn't watched yet. I remember passing it over many days thinking, "he's so funny but he gets to be too much for me." At some point I just clicked on it and started at the TV waiting for it to be time to pick my daughter back up from school.

And after a while I laughed. After weeks of only feeling devastated I laughed out loud. I don't know how to explain how I felt but it was life changing. It's not like my whole life changed and I broke out of depression and started taking care of myself. But it was a moment I'll never forget. It was a moment that I truly needed.

Just before he passed I remember being so excited to watch his video with Jake Webber. My fiance and I can never decide on anything to watch together without having to compromise and I asked him to click on it and we watched it together.

A few days after he passed a bunch of weird stuff started happening. In the past year I've really opened my heart up to having a relationship with God. The things that were happening were really signs for me that I needed there also but the way they appeared came next to remembering Oliver. That's a long story for another time. No matter what, I'll never let his memory fade in my life 🩷💜

I only find small pieces of it never the full version I don’t even know if it exists